


Platinum Oleander Chateau

by shirukaze



Series: Platinum Oleander Chateau [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-31 14:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 91,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirukaze/pseuds/shirukaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Platinum Oleander Chateau -<br/>Where wealthy ladies from all walks of life gather as a form of socialization. Well-known to provide high-class entertainment for those who can afford it, the Chateau gained a reputation for both its Ballroom section; where handsome men of the highest quality around dance attendance to their guests, and also for its darker side- the Den.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> A Sakumoto series, originating from my lj account. Please be warned that this fanfiction will consist of terribly dark and mature content. NSFW at times.

**Chapter 1  
Title: Encounter**

_The Platinum Oleander Chateau -  Where wealthy ladies from all walks of life gather as a form of socialization. Well-known to provide high-class entertainment for those who can afford it, the Chateau gained a reputation for both its Ballroom section; where handsome men of the highest quality around dance attendance to their guests, and also for its darker side- the Den._

He rose out of the bed, having done his deed for the day. Walking casually to the door, he swiftly dressed up, signs of having done this before many, many times. The man, who was in his twenties, well-built, but still more on the slender stature, waited patiently outside the door, to be let out. He heard his partner stir in the bed behind him, and ignored him. It's not as if they knew each other well at all. After all, this was just a regular duty they had to uphold.  
  
The door of the Den C clicked, and he pulled it open. Outside, there were the two escort guards, one ready to take him away back to his room, and one for his partner. He snorted and shook his head at his guard. As usual, he didn't need help to get back to his own room.  
  
As soon as his door closed, he slipped out of his clothes, leaving only his boxers on and his toned body exposed. And waited for his results.  
  
An echoed cough. His heart sank. It was the Madame. That cannot be good.  
  
"Sho." Sho disliked the voice which called out his name in a disgustingly sweet manner. Disliked the owner of the voice who owns this whole damned place. But he had gotten used to it, so he waited.  
  
"Sho." The voice repeated. "Answer me." He faced the intercom by his bed.  
  
"...Yes?"  
  
"Good, you're there." Where I always am, the rest of the time anyway when I'm not out with the guests, Sho thought silently.  
  
"Sho, honey, I watched your performance today."  
  
His heart sank even further. The Madame, watched his performance, and is now the one giving the results? That is definitely not a good omen.  
  
"I see how tame you've become dear, and I do like an obedient boy but-"  
  
Sho stiffened.  
  
"You've grown absolutely boring. I find no thrill in your performance at all."

He could feel his hair stand, and a lump rising up in his throat. Surely she was not going to-? Not after he'd worked so hard to obey her every orders, just to avoid such a thing? 

"If this keeps up, I'm afraid then-" Was she going to punish him? Sho wondered in a panic. A punishment from the Madame is the most horrible thing that could happen to anyone in that place. Not everyone knows about Madame, but those who knows, find themselves regretting that they ever found out about Madame at all.

Madame was the 5th generation heiress of a notorious yakuza gang which has influence from all over Japan. Being brought up by a man who is well-known to sadistically torture those who disobeys him, even those who had served him for years, she had learned of ways to make even the strongest man in Japan tremble and grovel at her feet. Madame was absolutely conspicuous to the public eye, but in the underworld, her cruel ways were well-known and feared.  
  
"N-no." He could feel his voice strained but he didn't care. "Please. Anything but the punishment."  
  
Silence. And then, a horrid chuckle.  
  
"Oh, don't be so scared dear. I won't punish my obedient boys so easily. You boys do try hard for my sake after all. Plus it won't do for one of my Platinum boys to be defiled. You'd be of no use after punishment after all." Her voice were filled with humor as she said the last line, and Sho found his heart thudding even faster than ever. She paused to let the message sink in.

 Now the voice grew less disgusting sweet, and turned into something lower, darker and dangerous.  
  
"That is, I won't punish you if you can prove that you're not useless anymore."

Sho could feel his heart skip a beat.  
  
"I have a proposal to make, Sho," the Madame continued.  
  
"Yes, Madame?" He discovered that he had stood up somehow.  
  
"I'm giving you a chance, so use it wisely."

"Yes Madame?"  
  
"I will be leaving... a little experiment in your hands for a period of time. Let's see if you can do something about it."  
  
"Experiment? What kind of experiment?"  
  
"You will know when the time comes."  
  
"I see..."  
  
"If I am satisfied with the results that you show from this experiment, I will let you off. But if I don't find your results satisfactory then..." Here Sho felt a chill climb his spine as the Madame's voice turned even silkier, "then you will be _punished and then_ _disposed of_. Got it?"  
  
"Yes, Madame." His voice barely made it out. He knew what she meant.  
  
Silence fell in his room.  
  
+++  
  
"Oh DARLINNGG! Pay attention to me!"

Sho excused himself from one woman, signalling the attendant on her other side to look after her, as he turned to another woman, who was gaudily dressed in a bright purple dress with a bright feathered pink coat, who was sitting to his other side. He beamed widely at her, apologising shiningly and nodded attentively as she began clacking about her day to him, how her husband was flirting with the secretary, how her children are getting too hard for her to control and so on and so forth, adding wine in her cup every now and then.  
  
After the time was up with that guest, he stood up and nodded to other attendants to take her away politely and walked to another table that he had been assigned to where his next guest awaits. She wore a scarlet dress, and makeup as heavy as one could make it without looking shabby. And her fragrant, he recognised that fragrant from as far as a few feet away. He clenched his fist, feeling sick in the stomach, and slowed down.  
  
She looked up as she heard his footsteps approach, and gave him a wide smile.  
  
"Ahhhh. Sho, there you are. Looking as fine as ever aren't you? Haven't seen you since last month."  
  
He automatically snapped a smile onto his face as he bowed gracefully towards her.  
  
"You too, Lady Rie. Glad to see you are well." She laughed, and stubbed the cigarette she was smoking onto the ashtray on her table.  
  
"Come, sit by me, Sho."  
  
Lady Rie, a divorcee, he recalled to himself as he attended her in conversation. She had as much wealth with her that she could scrounge out of her former husband, who was the CEO of a popular food branch. A regular of the Ballroom, which was where the tamed men of the Chateau entertain in conversation with their guests. A good friend of the Madame, and also, a patron of the Den. Sho was one of her favourites of the Den. She would always choose him whenever she comes to visit, unlike most others who would prefer picking amongst the more rarely seen, lesser obedient Chateau men, although she does a fair mixing of his Den partners.  
  
"So I hear Sho," she was saying as Sho was brought back to attention, "That the Madame is not pleased with you?"  
  
Sho just smiled at her and nodded.  
  
"Ahhh, you poor lad you. But you're getting a chance right? This experiment she's doing?"  
  
"Do you know about it then Lady Rie?"  
  
"Just the gist of it. I'll be there of course. I won't miss out anything that involves you in it, my dear lad."  
  
"Thank you Lady." He made a toss for her, and drank, feeling even more sick to his stomach, having found out that Lady Rie would be observing his experiment.  
  
+++  
  
This time, he was sent to Den X. Sho looked at the door outside with interest. Never in his years at the Chateau had he ever been sent to Den X before. He wasn't even sure it existed for any use.  
  
The Den rooms lay in a straight line parallel to the three wings which held rooms inhabited by the men of the Chateau. The wings were named Nectar, Pedicle and Root.  
  
The most commonly used wings were Nectar, followed by Pedicle. Having moved from the Pedicle Wing to the Nectar Wing a couple of years back, Sho had heard of the Root Wing before, and seen its door from a distance at the long end of the line of the Dens, but never had he any reason to go near it, nor wondered about it enough to approach.  
  
Even when he was in the Pedicle Wing, which lies in the middle of the other two wings, it was still too far. Den X lay quite close to the door entrance to the Root Wing now, that Sho could see the door ever so clearly, ever so forbidding. He turned back to face Den X's door.  
  
So this was the room that contains the experiment awaiting for him.  
  
Madame had been clear and short with her instructions.  
  
"The rules are the same as with the normal Den performances. You know what will happen if you don't follow through the rules, right?"  
  
Sho had just agreed, having been familiar with the Den rules for a long time. He had no doubts at all that he would be able to follow through the rules, so he wondered why the Madame was reminding him again what happens to one who doesn't follow the rules.  
  
So, it was yet another Den performance, this experiment of the Madame, he had thought when he first heard it. He wondered why she called it an experiment? Perhaps, she's making him try out with someone hideous or deformed, for the first time in her Chateau and seeing how it fares with her fellow guests? Start a new trend of Den performances? He tried to picture a man ugly enough for the Madame to consider it a worthy 'experiment' and shuddered.  
  
Yet ugly or not, he had to go through with it. He intended to. There is absolutely no way he will fail this. He CANNOT fail this. It doesn't matter what the partner looks like anyway. He had turned to become immune to everything now. He could no longer feel fear, disgust, or any form of emotions when he performs nowadays. And Madame saw it. He shook his head as this last thought came to him.  
  
He HAD to do better than before. No matter what. He must make it look as though he was doing it with renewed emotions. The Madame also told him something else that makes it different from the normal Den performances.  
  
"This time, the guests are not allowed to instruct at all, no matter how much they want to pay. Because this is just an experiment. So how you handle this is entirely up to you dear."  
  
He wondered really, what was inside this Den?  
  
The guard unlocked the Den's door and pointed him inside. Sho rolled his eyes at the guard. As if he hadn't done this many times before. He took a deep breath and stepped inside.  
  
When he entered, he thought there was nothing there except the bed.  
  
He walked further in, and almost jumped out of his skin. On the other side of the bed, there was a figure, dressed in a simple white shirt and black pants, crouching on the ground, face buried in his knees, arms tucked around his legs. From what Sho could see, his hair was dark, wavy and longish, and judging from the smoothness of his skin, he was a young man. Maybe around his age?  
  
A new one? He thought. He couldn't even remember the last time he handled a new one. Guests preferred that he does it with other more experienced regulars. Even Madame preferred it that way.  
  
He looked up at the ceiling questioningly, knowing the guests and Madame were watching from there, only that he couldn't see them. It was a one-way glass ceiling. He could only see a reflection of himself. Nothing, of course. He approached the figure, who shivered at the sound of his steps.  
  
This...was his partner? Sho thought.  
  
So far, from his figure at least, he doesn't seem deformed or whatsoever. So that leaves the hidden face. He wondered how best to approach this man in front of him. Unlike the people he was used to handling with, this one doesn't seem to want to openly accept him, doesn't seem to want to do anything to get this whole process with as soon as possible, doesn't even want to _look_ at him.  
  
He knelt down and tried to rest his hand on the figure's arm. The figure twitched and shrank back, pulling his arm away from Sho as he did so. Sho suddenly felt his confidence slowly draining away from him. He sensed that it wasn't going to be easy after all, dealing with this one. Does he not know of the consequences of not obeying the rules of the Den? He whispered harshly,  
  
"Are you _mad?_ Don't you know what happens if we don't do it? We need to _start_."  
  
The other man clamped his ears with his hands and shook his head furtively, shuddering. Sho closed in on the man, who shrank further back, until he had the wall to his back, cornered like a rat.  
  
"Look, I know it's scary the first time. But it's worse if we don't do it really-"  
  
An amused voice echoed from above.  
  
"Sho dear, sorry to disappoint you, but it's not exactly his first time in the Den. It wouldn't be an experiment if all I wanted was for you to tame a first-timer, would it? I have plenty of other choices for that."  
  
Sho's heart sank faster than a stone in water. There WAS something up with this guy then. And from the way Madame made it sound, it will make things more complicated than normal. He looked at his partner for that day. His head was no longer buried in his knees, although still lowered, and waves of black fringe covered his face. It took Sho a bit more courage, before he even dared to try to take a look at his partner's face.  
  
He didn't like force, but he didn't like the idea of what will happen if he doesn't follow the rules even more. So he thrusted his hand out and cupped his partner's chin, bringing it up to look at his face. He almost dropped it back.  
  
There was absolutely nothing wrong with his partner's face at all. Yet everything was wrong.  
  
His partner is a beauteous man. In fact amongst all of the men in the Chateau, and the Madame _do_ have great taste with men, Sho could safely say that he might be one of the more higher-graded ones, if not the most. He had pale, almost translucent skin, shapely lips, and eyes that- his eyes were what made everything wrong. His eyes were beautiful, that was true,  deep brown, further endowed with long eyelashes.  
  
However, his eyes told Sho more than enough on what made this man before him an experiment. Wild, unfocused eyes, _screaming_ of fear and pain at him. Eyes that showed him a lost soul, crying endlessly. Eyes that showed him a world which could not be understood.  
  
 _Broken._ Sho drew back from the man in horror. _He's broken_ _. She's making me do it with a broken person._ _How sick is this??_  
  
For a moment, he was lost, unsure of what to do. He had never been unsure before. He stared weakly back at the figure, who had withdrawn back to being buried in his own knees. There were men he had met before, men who never wanted to be in this hell, men who resigned their fate to this hell, but never once did he meet someone like this. Someone incapable of thinking of the current situation he's in. Hell, someone who's even incapable of thinking at all perhaps.  
  
Sho felt even more sick to the stomach than he had been when he found out Lady Rie was attending. And then, bits of memories flashed back at him. Memories of the past. Blood. Dark red blood flashed in his line of vision. More than just blood. Sho felt bile rising to his throat as he struggled not to throw up and clutched the side of his head where his temple was. He gagged.  
  
 _That was not going to happen to him. He was absolutely not going to allow it to happen to him._  
  
Desperation bringing him strength, he surged forward and grabbed each side of his partner's head forcing him to look straight at Sho.  
  
He tried to ignore the trembles, and looked into his partner's eyes once more. Wide and fearful. He bit his lip, trying to not to think of the mental aspect of this man and tried to figure out this puzzle that Madame had set before his eyes. Yes, it was a game to her, and he had to treat it like a game too.  
  
 _From what little he had learnt, there had been others before him apparently, that had been set to this...man. Why had they failed? Taking a deep breath, still holding the sides of his partner's face, he closed his eyes, clearing his mind from distractions._  
  
He placed himself in their shoes. And realised what went wrong. Like him, they had panicked when they found out that this guy was not in the right of mind. And so they did the only thing they could think of doing. They tried to use force. And it didn't do a thing at all except made this poor guy even more withdrawn then before. He shuddered to think what happened to them when they failed the experiment.  
  
Madame gave a schedule, he suddenly thought. Meaning that she does not expect instant results, but rather, a slow increasing progress. He sighed with relief. Then... No. She said the rules were still the same. He felt butterflies in his stomach. How was he going to do that? They still had to do it. One after another problem, Sho tried to tackle and knock down, but it kept leading to more problems, so he stopped.  
  
Hesitantly, he lowered his hands from the mad man's face, and deciding to follow his instincts rather than logic this time, he slowly leaned in closer. The man resisted, but Sho ignored it. Instead, he placed his hands to gently cling through the other man's hair, before resting his forehead onto the other man's forehead, shutting his eyes as soon as they made contact.  
  
He could feel the rhythm of the other person's heart beating, and breathed to the rhythm. It was beating very fast.  He could feel the cold sweat belonging to the other's forehead. Or was it his own? His partner struggled, whimpered and trembled but Sho held on, whispering soothing hushes, while gently combing through his hair with his fingers.  
  
Gradually, his partner stopped struggling, and Sho opened his eyes slowly.  
  
Eyes shut, long eyelashes arraying them, his partner had gone into a state of half-consciousness. His heartbeat had quietened and slowed down. Sho adjusted his position a little, and whispered softly to him,  
  
"Good boy."  
  
His left hand reached down, and hesitated, before touching the front part of the young man's pants very lightly, who took a quick sharp breath as soon as he felt the touch.  
  
 _Maybe,_  Sho thought, _Maybe he isn't as broken as I think he is._  
  
"Good boy." He repeated, as if to assure the latter. Moving his hand away from the front, he began tracing the other man's thighs softly with his fingers, and was rewarded with a gasp and a shudder as he did so. He continued to play with his partner's thighs and calves until they were both breathing a little bit more quickly, panting a little bit more heavily.  
  
Slowly, he maneuvered his hand higher and began moving it up and down the front, through the cloth, careful to be gentle, one hand still combing the other's hair, and his face close to the other's ear, gently whispering encouraging, soothing words.  
  
"That's it. All we have to do is release, so that the rules are fulfilled. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, got it?" He talked to the other man, in hopes that he understood what he was saying, what he was trying to get him to do. He started to move his hand a bit faster, and could feel a slight strained reaction coming from his partner.  
  
 _He could feel it then,_ Sho thought. But since he wasn't resisting, Sho continued. He could feel it, slowly, but surely, hardening underneath his palm, through the cloth of the pants. After a bit, he decided to raise the level up a notch higher, and brought his hand up underneath his partner's shirt, teasing the other man's abdomen. His partner gasped in a quiet way, and shivered, as he felt Sho tracing his fingers along his bare skin.   
  
Gaining more confidence, he brought his hand inside the pants, getting more skin contact with his partner. His partner arched back, obviously sensitive to the touch. Doing so had brought the young man's hair and fringe to fall backwards, revealing his face again. Sho stared at it, watching every detail on it. His deep eyes were open, observing Sho's face too, unblinking, but unresisting. His lips were red, and half opened, in a most disturbingly sexy manner. All that, and the sense of quietness radiating from his partner despite what they were doing at the moment, seemed to cause a stir inside himself.  
  
Pulling his left hand out, Sho realised that his own heart had begun to beat faster. He removed his right hand from the guy's hair to gently push him to lie down against the floor, as he felt himself hardening. The guy was quiet, rather different from the struggling image he had shown Sho earlier. Had he given in? Sho could feel his eyes pierce through his own as he allowed Sho to guide him on his back.

Sho could feel his stomach crawling with what seemed to be...lust? It was a renewed sense of sensation he had thought he had lost after being involved in the Dens for so long.  
  
He stared at his partner from above, looking down at him as he held on to his wrists, pushing his arms against the floor. _He should get this over with, before he goes overboard._  
  
"I...I won't go all the way. Don't worry." He released the beautiful man's arms, and dived his hand back into the front of the man's pants. _He had to get it over with, fast._  
  
Sho reached in and curled his hand around the ripe, hard length. His partner uttered a soundless cry. _Is he mute too?_   Sho thought. He felt himself hardening even more as he looked back at  the pale young man with his newfound knowledge. Somehow, his lust had increased just at the thought.  
  
With his free hand, he pulled his partner's pants down to his knees and pulled out his partner's length. He began pumping the length, causing the other man to jerk with each pump. Feeling that his own was tight and neglected, he straddled against the thigh of the other man, and started rubbing, moving his body in synch with each pump he made. They both gasped, and Sho started moving faster, be it with his hand or with his lower body, feeling his own need rise. His partner made a grab for Sho's waist with both hands and gripped so tightly that Sho was sure it would leave marks for a few days.  
  
Not being able to breathe anymore, Sho hastily and clumsily unzipped his own jeans and flung it aside. He heaved a sigh of relief as soon as his own hard length had sprung free out of its restraints. His partner stared at his length, in a way that made Sho blush ever so slightly. Ignoring the warm feeling in his cheeks and feeling his urge to release, he settled down back to where he was.  
  
He grew more urgent, more desperate as he grinded his raw length back and forth against the cool, pale thigh of his partner, who kept making small, almost breathless, sensuous gasps with every pump he made, somehow driving Sho near-insane with them. Unable to control himself any longer, he finally came, all over his partner's thigh. He panted, hand still curled around his partner's length, and squeezed hard, and the other man came too, spilling all over Sho's hand.  
  
Tired out, they both collapsed flat on the ground, side by side, panting, catching their breaths.  
  
Sho sighed with relief. They were safe now. For today. He leaned over to his partner's ear and whispered,  
  
"It's over. You'll be safe for the moment."  
  
His partner turned to look at him, and Sho realised, that, with that look, with those large eyes, this perfect stranger had actually trusted in him.  
  
"I...I'm Sho...What's your name?"  
  
At first, he didn't think that he would answer, but then, a hand reached out towards his palm, and with a trembling finger, drew out the letters of a name on it.  
  
J - U - N.

+++

"Why?"  
  
"Why what Sho dear?"  
  
"Why is he broken?"  
  
"Oh really, must you worry about that? I'm quite happy with your performance today, isn't that all you should be worrying about?" The Madame did indeed sound satisfied, Sho thought, distracted from his question for the moment.  
  
"It wasn't really an astounding performance Madame. We barely did anything, unlike the usual performances."  
  
"I know. But the ladies were very happy to see this _because_ it was unlike any of the usual performances. You should have seen Lady Rie gushing over you. She said she'd never seen you so gentle with anyone before."  
  
Sho pursed his lips, blocking out any mental image of Lady Rie gushing over him if possible, as he sat on his bed.  
  
"I didn't know how else to handle him."  
  
"Very good you did that then. I'm surprised with him myself. The last three people I set to try him... they didn't come out uninjured, you might say. And they didn't get their way either."  
  
Sho turned to stare at the intercom.  
  
"You mean...?"  
  
"Ahhh, yes. He's actually a considerably strong person."  
  
Sho couldn't believe it. But this person- Jun, had let Sho guide him throughout, struggling only a little at the beginning. He had let Sho do whatever he wanted.  
  
"Perhaps it helps that you're so good-looking and gentle to him?" The Madame commented, as if she read his thoughts. "Although I daresay, _you_ can probably handle him even if he fights back."  
  
Sho gripped his arm muscles instinctively. It was the result of handling different kinds of men in the Den, and the results of his own exercising habit.  
  
"Well, as usual, have a good break. I'll put you back up in 3 days. Meanwhile, continue your Ballroom duties as per schedule."

"Then, the experiment?"

"Ah that? We'll do it again next week. Got it?"  
  
"Yes Madame."  
  
It was only afterwards that he realised Madame still didn't answer his question.  
  
+++  
  
Sho had just been removing his outer suit in the men's restroom by the Ballroom, having completed his duties for the day when-  
  
"Hey Sho!"  
  
Sho turned around in response to the call. A tall man was rapidly approaching him, and accidentally tripped over a bench's leg in the process, falling down on his knees first.  
  
"Are you alright?" Sho asked.  
  
"Sho! I heard you got in trouble with the Madame and you had some kind of agreement?"  
  
Sho sighed.  
  
"Slow as usual, Aiba. You only knew that now? I've fulfilled it yesterday. If it was an agreement to kill me yesterday, you'd only know when I'm dead."  
  
The other man chuckled and stood up.  
  
"So you're alright? Everything's fine? What was it?"  
  
"It was...the Den. With someone new."

"Ehhhh... Was he good?"

"He's new." Sho replied curtly, not really willing to give more details about the new entry.

"Haaaa. I still remember how Madame gave up on making me do the Den 'cos-"

"Yeah, you've told me that Madame finds you hopeless. You just couldn't get the instructions right and do everything your way."

"Hahahah! I told you that, didn't I? Yup!" Aiba rubbed the back of his head while laughing.

"But you are so lucky that way that Madame was not mad at you. No one gets mad at you." Sho said, almost enviously.  
  
"Actually. Aiba's still doing the Den, please don't forget." A new, amused voice interrupted their conversation."The thing is, Madame pre-warned the guests that he has the natural inability to be controlled. I guess, the ladies just would prefer the ones they can control. So he stays without being summoned." 

  
Sho turned to behind him, where another young man, dressed in knee-length pants and a vest over a shirt, was sitting in a bench in the corner, half-hidden beneath the shadows, so it was hard to notice him.  
  
Nino was another favourite of the Den performers because of his cute disposition. In ways unlike Sho's, he attracts almost as much of the ladies that Sho attracts. Plus the ladies love the sarcasm and bluntness that he daringly throws around.  
  
There were some ladies who'd decided that they'd like to put Nino and Sho together in the Den before. Sho thought that they were okay, but the results that come out were somehow... mediocre. What Sho found out was that apparently, the ladies felt that they both clashed too much in terms of chemistry. And somehow, they were never really paired up again after that.  
  
 "So," Nino continued. "What is this experiment about really? Madame wouldn't call it an experiment if it was just another Den performance, right?" Sho winced. Nino was too sharp for his own good. Aiba now stared at him, having this idea being brought up to him now.  
  
"It's... it's kinda confidential."  
  
Nino looked at him with eyes that made Sho feel like he can see through his very own soul. He didn't really want to tell Nino and Aiba much about Jun somehow, even if he does mix with them quite a bit when compared to with the other inhabitants of the Chateau.  
  
"Hmmm. Anyway, hurry up and finish changing will you? " Nino seemed to have decided not to pursue the topic further, to Sho's relief. "We'll go back to my room. I have a new magic trick to show you guys, and you better react properly this time!"  
  
 +.+.+


	2. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They were all slaves of the Chateau. They were bound to the Chateau with unbreakable chains and they cannot escape. Each and every men in the Chateau owes the Madame their very life and if ever they try to break that bond, they would pay, very dearly. Madame would ensure to it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter may contain slight graphic violence.

**Chapter 2  
Title: Flashbacks**

  _They were all slaves of the Chateau. They were bound to the Chateau with unbreakable chains and they cannot escape. Each and every men in the Chateau owes the Madame their very life and if ever they try to break that bond, they would pay, very dearly. Madame would ensure to it._

  
 _~.~.~_  
  
The sun had almost set that fateful day. He hammered on her door, hoping that there would be a reply. There wasn't any. Unsettled, he tried the doorknob. The door opened easily.

A feeling of uneasiness settling into his stomach, he entered the house, calling out for her. Not noticing the door close quietly behind him, he walked further into the trap that would decide his future.

Entering her bedroom, his heart was racing with anxiety. _Where is she? What was the call about?_

 _'Help me.'_ She had whispered to him with a trembling voice over the phone, before the line disconnected. He had called her over and over again, but she didn't pick up. Worried, he had rushed over to her place. Now in her bedroom, he tried to search for any signs left by her, trying not to think of the worst.

As distracted as he was, hands trembling over the closet door, he did not notice the soft footsteps approaching him from behind. Did not realise the danger he was in, until a sharp pain struck him from behind, and the world turned black.

~.~.~  


  
Sho woke up to the sounds of the others leaving their rooms as the dawn broke. He sighed. Saturday. Well, even if he headed for the showers now, the cubicles were bound to be full.  Instead he pulled out a compact, rectangular object from his dressing table drawer. After pressing a few buttons, he got it to display his updated schedule for the oncoming week.  
  
As the screen lit up to show his schedule, he noticed warily that again his schedule was mostly unoccupied... so far. There was only one other Den performance with this guy called Toma, other than the experiment, on the coming Monday.  _Was_ he _really_ getting stale then? he thought uncomfortably.  
  
The Den had quite a number of rules. One of them made it such that, after a Den performance, the performers will get at least the day after that free from the Den, unless the higher ups allowed him to have more than a day off accordingly to the rating of his performance.  
  
Sho's schedule was usually packed with performances every two days. But now...its reduced to once a week? Sho shook his head, and tried not to think too much of it. Well, that means he has more rest, if he looked at it positively.  
  
He pressed a few more buttons, to display that day's schedule. There was the usual Ballroom duty, but it would only start in the evening. So that means he was free for the rest of the day.  
  
Forsaking the showers for the moment, he dressed up, grabbed his wallet, slipped it into the back of his pocket and out of his room. When he reached outside the Nectar Wing, he stopped for a while, not knowing quite why, and turned to look at the door at the far end, belonging to that of the Root Wing.  
  
It has been 3 days since. He wondered how _he_ was coping so far. He was almost certain that that man came from the Root Wing, the almost non-existent wing. Thinking back about it, he had never seen anybody leave or enter that wing. The Wings that he knew of had been categorised in a way that firstly, the Pedicle Wing was where Madame kept her new, untrained men. Men that had not fully bent into her rules.  
  
Sho remembered the time he was there. The Wing was big, but not as big as the Nectar Wing. Perhaps, Madame knows that in the end, they will all bend to her every whim.  
  
Then, there was the Nectar Wing where men like Sho, who were used to the ways of the Chateau, who no longer caused trouble, stayed. Compared to the other wing, they had more freedom to roam around outside the Chateau, as long as they limit themselves to the grounds. Which was what Sho was doing now.  
  
He tore his gaze away from the Root Wing's door and headed down towards the kitchen of the Chateau, by means of a hidden stairway meant only for the use of the men of the Chateau. The guards who stood at the top of the stairway recognised him and let him through.  
  
Exchanging small greetings with the chefs and whomever happened to be there in the kitchen, he excused himself and headed out the back door of the Chateau.  
  
It was still partially dark outside, and the lights on the outer grounds only dimly lit the path which would lead Sho to his destination. As he walked he breathed in the fresh morning air. He enjoyed being outside, breathing the untainted air, as compared to being inside the Chateau.  
  
Barely ten minutes of walking, he reached the circle of stores which lies on the Chateau's grounds. Most of them were not opened yet, save for one. As he neared it, the scent of fresh bread hit him, and he breathed in, taking it all in. He entered the bakery.  
  
"Oh! Good morning!" A voice spoke out as soon as Sho walked in through the door. Sho smiled and approached the owner of the voice. The owner of the store was a soft-spoken man, with short brownish hair, sporting a green apron, barely older than Sho himself. The man was just putting in a batch of newly-baked loaves into a rack near the door.  
  
"Hey, good morning, boss!"  
  
"I haven't seen you in a while Sho. I've been wondering whether you'd still be around."  
  
"Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Umm..."  
  
"...Nino told you?"  
  
"Well, he came in a couple of weeks ago or so I think, and was telling me about you and the Madame."  
  
Sho wondered what exactly did he say.  
  
"He made it sound like you were going to die."  
  
"That b-"  
  
 The owner chuckled lightly and told Sho,  
  
"It's alright. I didn't quite believe him anyway, although I did wonder when you didn't visit." Sho smiled and said,  
  
"Well, I guess you can say, I'm currently under probation?"  
  
The older man looked at him, then looked in the direction if the Chateau, even if they can't see it from inside the store.  
  
"It's tough being in there, huh? I wish I could do more for you guys."  
  
"It's alright Ohno," Sho said, smiling bitterly, "No one can do anything about it. All of us in there were destined to be."  
  
"But I-,"  
  
Sho interrupted him before he starts apologising for them as he usually does,  
  
"How's business lately?"  
  
Ohno's apologetic face changed quickly as he beamed. "Oh! That. Will you listen? The other day-"  
  
+++  
  
Madame gives them allowances according to how to their performance in the Dens or in the Ballroom. With a bit of the money Sho had, he bought a few fresh buns and headed back to the Chateau.  
  
The showers weren't full anymore, so he decided to take a shower, before throwing himself onto one of the sofas in the Nectar's common room, eating his bought breakfast. Munching on a soft, strawberry bun, he stared up at the ceiling with one hand supporting the back of his head.  
  
That morning's dream still haunted part of his mind. He wondered why it came back to him again, when he had long forgotten it. He clenched his fist as he thought of that day.  
  
A face popped out of nowhere, right above him, smiling. Sho choked.  
  
"Aiba!"  
  
"Hey~ Move a bit will you?"  
  
"Aren't there other sofas around?"  
  
Aiba ignored him and started pushing his legs in. Sho sat up and allowed Aiba to sit beside him.  
  
"What's up Aiba? Don't you have anything on?"  
  
"I'm mostly free, remember? Oh!" He'd spotted the buns on the table. "You went to see Ohno! Can I have one? Thanks!" Aiba took one as Sho nodded. As they chewed, Aiba asked him,  
  
"It's you who's not supposed to be this free right? I remember how rarely I see you except for during Ballroom duties."  
  
"...Yeah."  
  
They sat in silence for a while.  
  
"How's Ohno?"  
  
"Ohno? He's fine. The other day, some lady or another walked into the bakery like she owns the place, wrecking some of his stuff."  
  
"What?! How did she find her way there?"  
  
"Drunk apparently." Sho said disapprovingly. "I don't know what her Ballroom host was doing to leave her wandering around."  
  
"Did the higher-ups hear about that?"  
  
"I sure hope not. The host might get in trouble for it."

"Yeah!!"

Another silence.  
  
"Sho. You've been here long right?"  
  
Sho nodded. It was weird hearing Aiba sounding so serious suddenly.  
  
What happens to those who are punished? By the Madame?"

Sho side-glanced at Aiba. New guy. Only a few months old, of course he wouldn't know. It's amazing how fast he managed to make it to Nectar.  
  
"You don't want to know."  
  
"Sure I do. It's important."

Sho thought for a moment before pointing Aiba into the direction of his room.  
  
 "If you're sure, then."  
  
+++  
  
It was after his first Den performance, he stood in the shower for over an hour, staring blankly into the wall in front of him.  
  
No matter how much Sho scrubbed his body from head, to toe, he couldn't get rid of the filthy stench that his body now carried. He scrubbed to the point that his body had turned an aggravated red.  
  
 _I'm dirty._ He could still see flashes of a man's naked body pressed against his as he scrubbed, pressing the bristles of his brush so hard against his skin, that if they were made of needles, they would surely have punctured through.  
  
He could still feel the heat and roughness of the man who was called his 'Den partner'. He could feel his hair rise as he remembered the way the stranger touched him all over. He felt his stomach twist in disgust as he remembered himself being brought to his peak by the man. A man he didn't even know.  
  
 _I'm dirty. I'm filthy._ Those thoughts kept repeating themselves over and over again as he washed himself.  _I'm sorry, Haruna. I'm sorry, I've turned into someone you can't even look at._  
  
 _I'm sorry._  
  
'If you want her to stay safe, it is at your best interests that you abide by my rules, boy."  
  
That was what the Madame had told him when she met him in the first week he was there. She refused to tell him where she was, and only told him that she was safe for the moment. All he could do was to follow the rules, no matter what. _For her._  
  
He didn't like it, being in the Chateau. After his Den performance, he was stuck back into the Pedicle Wing.  
  
The men of the Pedicle Wing was not allowed to be out and around. It was a bleak environment to be in. Him and many others were locked up, like prisoners. At that time, there was no Nino, no Aiba to lighten the atmosphere.  
  
Instead, there was a man that Sho ended up befriending. He was perhaps, a few years older than Sho was, and was a friendly character by nature. Their first meeting was in the Pedicle Wing's common room, which was stark when compared to the Nectar room, except for a couple of scattered sofas and table, Sho had entered the room quietly, and seen a man standing in one corner of the room. Sho remembered him saying,  
  
"Don't you love watching clouds?" He'd ask as he looked out the narrow windows of the Pedicle Wing's common room.  
  
"Why?" Sho had asked, wondering how he noticed that Sho was there.  
  
"Because they are free, of course! They can do anything they like, money and food isn't a problem to them, nor sickness or death."  
  
Sho silently agreed.  
  
They became good friends after more encounters with one another. One day, while they were sitting quietly in the common room, reading, Sho finally gathered the courage to ask him,  
  
"Why are you here, Kohara?"  
  
"Hmm?" Kohara stopped reading and looked at Sho.  
  
"Why are you in here?"  
  
Kohara smiled at him.  
  
"Oh that? It's stupid really. Would you really want to hear?" Sho nodded.  
  
"I lost a bet. I was drunk, and stupid. I'd betted away my house and family in one night." He faltered, seemingly remembering something unpleasant.  
  
"They were taking away my wife and my son the next day as I returned home. I stopped them and begged them to take me instead. They decided that I'd do. That's all." He sighed, and Sho knew that he was thinking about his wife and son.  
  
"One day," he continued, "I WILL get out of here."  
  
"Can you do that?" Sho had asked curiously.  
  
"I'm here to repay my debt aren't I? I made a deal with the Madame, that she should let me free after my debt is repaid. That debt should be over soon."  
  
"C-can I go too you think?" He wanted to see Haruna again. Filthy as he knew he was, he wanted to see her, to make sure she was alright. Kohara looked at him sharply, and his eyes softened as he saw the look on Sho's face.  
  
"Why not? I'm sure you can."  
  
Sho wanted to cling on to that hope, but somewhere deep down inside him, he knew he couldn't escape. It was a life, for a life. Either Haruna's or his.  
  
"You can do it." Kohara's voice said, even more firmly then before. Sho looked up at Kohara, and found his hope strengthened by the hard, determined look in his eyes.  
  
+++  
  
"Matsumoto Jun."  
  
Sho nearly jumped as a voice spoke out to him from behind, through the hiss of water from his shower. He turned around and found Nino standing there, with a smirk on his face. He scowled at the younger man.  
  
"Can both you and Aiba not do that?! A fella can die from a heart attack with how you guys do things."  
  
"Well, are you listening?" Nino asked.  
  
"No! What are you doing in my shower? And I thought I locked the door?"  
  
Nino snorted and looked at him, up to down.  
  
"It's not like I've never seen you before. It's nothing much anyway, you worn out old man."  
  
"Somehow that pisses me off."  
  
Nino just laughed and continued, "So, do you want to listen or not?"  
  
"Can you WAIT until after I'm done?" And Sho pushed him out of the shower. It was only then that he registered that Nino had said the name 'Jun'. _Could it be? He found out?_  
  
Sho quickly finished showering and stepped out of his cubicle. It would be good if he knew a little more about this experiment of Madame. He wondered how Nino was always able to find out these sort of things. He hunted for Nino, and found him waiting in the common room, sitting with both legs up on a sofa near the window, reading a magazine.  
  
"Tell me." Sho said as he sat down opposite of Nino.  
  
"Tell you what?" Nino asked, lowering his magazine and innocently looking at Sho. Sho clenched his fist, resisting the urge to punch Nino in the nob.  
  
"Can you just tell me?"  
  
"About what?" _He's having fun playing with me_ , Sho thought. He breathed in deeply and said,  
  
"A-about... Jun."  
  
"Who?" Nino was smiling.  
  
"Can you STOP acting innocent?!"  
  
"Oh please. You're the one who's being secretive. You didn't tell us anything about this experiment so I had to rely on myself to find out these sort of things."  
  
"...And what exactly did you find out?"  
  
"That he's your Den partner and he's cra-Ow! What's that for?!" Sho had smacked his mouth, covering it.  
  
"I don't need you telling the whole world that I did it with a madman." He whispered fiercely.  
  
"But you didsh." Nino's voice came through his hand, slightly muffled and annoyed.  
  
"Just! Just tell me what else you found out."  
  
"He'sh called Matshumoto Jhun, canh you letsh go ofth my mouth?"  
  
Sho removed his hand off Nino's mouth slowly and reluctantly. Nino cleared his throat.  
  
"Okay, he's called Matsumoto Jun, got it?" Sho nodded and made a mental note in his head. "He's around 25 years old this year." _Around a year younger,_ Sho thought.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what?" Nino asked.  
  
"That's it? Where was he before this, how did he become like that and how he ended up here?"  
  
"Do you think I'm a freaking detective?"  
  
"That surely can't be all you found out if you came especially to interrupt me in my shower?"  
  
Nino grinned.  
  
"Okay fine. I found out another thing too." He paused, collecting the thoughts in his mind carefully.  
  
"His grandfather was taking care of him, but he passed away around a few months back, if I'm not mistaken. His only other relatives sold him off to the Chateau, most likely because they didn't want to take care of a mental case."  
  
Sho felt pity for the man. To not be wanted by your own family and then sold off by them...  
  
"Actually," Nino said, "I'm quite curious too as to how he ended up like that. My sources doesn't really tell me much about him."  
  
"Are you going to try find out?"  
  
Nino looked thoughtful. Then his face changed again, looking curious,  
  
"By the way, I saw Aiba going out from your room yesterday, he didn't look too good.What happened?"  
  
+++  
  
"This Haruna." Kohara had asked him one day. "What does she mean to you?" Sho had blushed and answered,  
  
"Someone very important to me."  
  
Kohara had grinned wickedly at him and pursued further.  
  
"In what way?"  
  
Sho blushed a deeper red and lowered his head, avoiding eye contact with Kohara.  
  
"Every," He'd told him in a small voice. Kohara had laughed at him in a loud voice, clapping his hands.  
  
"You naive thing! You've not told her yet then?!"  
  
"I! I didn't want to complicate things. I couldn't afford to."  
  
"What! You cowa-" Kohara began, still grinning.  
  
"No." Sho said firmly. "I owe her family too much."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It's ever since my parents died. Their friends, Haruna's parents, took care of me, because I had no other family." Sho risked glimpsing at Kohara. He'd stopped grinning.  
  
"She's a wonderful person. She'd always been kind, nice and sweet towards me when others weren't. We'd played together since we were small until we were teenagers. Until one day I realised that I'd fallen for her."  
  
"And you couldn't tell her."  
  
"I can't afford to be so selfish, Kohara." Sho told him, a little wistfully. "To me, her feelings come first."  
  
"We graduated from high school, moved away from her parents' home, continued our studies separately, and started working. We still met up with each other during weekends though, when we could. I'd also visit her parents of course. I owe them too much. Even the house I was staying in was paid by them. I'm still paying them back."  
  
"When you get out, what will you do?"  
  
Silence for a while, before Sho opened his mouth and answered.  
  
"I will...tell her how I feel."  
  
"Good. You're a good man, Sakurai Sho. I'm sure your feelings will come through." Kohara told him, one hand on his shoulder. After some thought he added, "I'd like to see your Haruna someday. Maybe we can both meet each other up when we're out?"  
  
+++  
  
As his partner played with his body, both still fully clothed on the top, dressed in silly Victorian style outfits, in a Den room decorated for that era, with lace curtains hanging from the bedpost, Sho thought about Matsumoto Jun.  
  
He remembered how each of his touch had brought a slight shiver to the man, how his lips trembled ever so slightly when Sho touched him. He didn't seem so crazy. Just afraid. Sho could feel warmth gathering between his legs. He wondered whether it was wrong to be so easily triggered by a person like that.  
  
"You!" His partner hissed. "Why are you pushing me down?!"  
  
Sho snapped back to his consciousness as he realised he had switched their positions over. He'd been dressed as the loyal manservant while his partner, Ikuta, was supposed to be the Master.  
  
The guests' commands had been simple. One requested him to bottom, one requested them to stay clothed while doing it. Sho had been in this setting for quite a few times. Yet he had almost broken the commands by acting according to his own wishes. He was now leaning over his partner instead of the other way around.  
  
 _Crap,_ he thought. Swiftly, he lowered his lips to his partner's thighs.  
  
"Please, Master, let me do this for you." He breathed, as he spontaneously role-played the part of a 'servicing' servant, and began licking his partner's thighs slowly through gaudy, tight cloth, crawling on all fours, causing his partner to tense in reaction.  
  
After they were done for the day, his examiner admonished him for almost breaking the commands, yet also let out a tiny bitter compliment for recovering fast from it.  
  
+++  
  
Several guards had woken him up in the middle of the night. A raging storm thundered overhead the Chateau. Sho could sense that something was amiss when he saw the faces of a few of the other Pedicle men as he was escorted out of the wing with them. Sensing that they knew what was going on, he asked them.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"It's Kohara. They say he tried to attack Madame."  
  
"What?!" Sho's heart had started to beat faster.  
  
"I don't know the details," said the tall one named Kaname, "But it had something to do with their deal?"  
  
"No..." Sho had a bad feeling about it as they were brought below the Chateau, into an underground room. A coppery stench floated in the air. The room was wide and spaceous, and held a stage in it. And on that stage...  
  
Sho didn't yell, nor did he shout. He screamed.  
  
"Kohara! KOHARA!!!" The guards restrained him from running to the stage, and even the other men held him back, staring at the stage, horrified. Sho tried to wrestle them away as he continued screaming.  
  
"Let me go! Kohara!"  
  
Up on the stage, there was a wooden wall. Nailed onto that wall through his hands and neck, was Kohara. His neck had been slit. But that wasn't all that was slit. His stomach had been ripped out, his intestines hanging out through the front gap, most of the blood have had already escaped onto the floor below, forming pools of dark red liquid by his feet.  
  
Sho dropped to the floor and threw up.  
  
"My goodness, now that's unsightly for a man of the Chateau." It was her. The Madame. She stood beside the wall, cleaning a knife carefully with a cloth. Sho struggled to stand up, but dropped back, and spat at her,  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"Why? Pay attention my dears, all of you, should know what happens if you displease me." She addressed to all the men of the Pedicle Wing, looking down at them.  
  
"This will happen." She pointed to Kohara's body, as if to make her point clear. Some of the men looked away.  
  
"He just wanted to go back to his family. You PROMISED him that he can go back right?" Sho could hear his voice shaking as he tried to regain his control.  
  
"I was never going to break the deal. I don't break the deals that I make."  
  
"Then why?" His voice broke.  
  
The Madame looked coolly down at Sho, who was still on the ground, her nose held high.  
  
"He was interfering with matters that did not belong to him."  
  
Sho couldn't believe it fully. What exactly did Kohara try to interfere with that warranted him this... punishment? Sho's heart began beating faster, with a furious burning sensation and the world was spinning around him. The Madame laughed as she read the question in his eyes.  
  
"My dear Sho. ANYONE who displeases me gets direct retribution from me. This is my usual standard level of punishment. If it was anything less, my ancestors would be highly ashamed of me indeed."  
  
"Bitch."  
  
She ignored him and smiled instead.  
  
"It might vary time to time, of course. Depending on my mood, you might even make it alive."  
  
"You BITCH!" He threw himself towards her, hand raised. The guards blocked his way. He didn't think about it then, but they probably saved his life.  
  
"Let go, damn you!" He couldn't get himself free. The Madame walked away slowly and almost mockingly. He'd have gone after her, but someone punched him in the stomach hard, causing him to black out.  
  
The next few weeks he spent, he couldn't remember clearly. His days were blank and white, like an empty canvas. He would look at the windows and look away again, when he realised Kohara wasn't there. It was a numbing feeling.  
  
A couple of months later, one day, when the pain of loss had gradually faded away, and they started assigning him duties again, the Madame visited his room personally.  
  
She sat by his dressing table in silence, looking at him, curled up on his bed.  
  
"Let's make a deal now, Sakurai Sho."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Fine, stay quiet. But listen." Sho curled up even further on his bed.  
  
"If you want to, I will let you out of here."  
  
Sho raised his head.  
  
"Yes, you can meet your beloved Haruna."  
  
"..."  
  
"If you serve me well for the whole of next year, I will release you. Provided that you want to be released of course."  
  
Sho found the whole deal ridiculously fishy and spoke out.  
  
"What do you mean that I WANT to be released?"  
  
She smiled sweetly. That was the first time Sho saw that smile on her, and he'd seen that smile many times after that over the years. He didn't trust that smile at all.  
  
"Now, you shouldn't rush things. You will find out sooner or later. For now, shouldn't you focus on returning back to your lady?" And she left.  
  
He started recovering. All the feelings had gradually returned back to him. Losing his friend no longer hurt so much. He returned back to his duties with a vengeance. He became popular amongst the ladies of the Den.  
  
 _I WILL get out of here,_ he had told himself many times. He will meet with Kohara's family, and explained to them about him and tell them how much he loved them and thought about them, and then... he will meet Haruna.  
  
One year later, he requested to meet with the Madame. They brought him to her office.  
  
"Ah, Sho, you've come." She looked up from the papers on her desk and smiled at him. Goosebumps rippled across his arm.  
  
"We made a deal. It's time for it to be fulfilled."  
  
"Ah... yes." She drew open her drawer. _Why is she opening her drawer?_ Sho wondered. "Come, sit."  
  
"It's okay. I will stand."  
  
"Sit, Sakurai Sho." Her voice was steely. It was an order. He sat down. He should never have sat.  
  
"You've been a very good boy indeed," she told him. "I am pleased with how popular you are with the ladies now."  
  
"So... I can go?"  
  
"Yes... that's right. You may go... If you want to that is." She pulled out a tape recorder and placed it on her desk, closing back her drawer as she did so. She tapped lightly on the buttons on it, without pushing any of it down.  
  
"What do you mean...If I want?" He asked warily.  
  
"Or perhaps... if you had anywhere to go."  
  
"What-" _Click._ The tape recorder whirred.  
  
 _'Indeed, he is somewhat good-looking I suppose.'_ Sho recognised the voice as belonging to one of the Madame's followers. His heart nearly stopped at the next voice.  
  
 _'Yes, exactly. So-'_ It was Haruna.  
  
 _'Yet, surely you realise that this man alone is not enough to settle your debts?'  
  
'I- I will sell his apartment too! That apartment was paid for by my parents, so I have the right to sell it too, surely!' _ Her voice was desperate. Sho's ears rang. It's not true, he told himself. It's not true.  
  
 _'You,_ ' the first voice was dripping with contempt as she said, _'You are willing to sell away your own loved one for the sake of settling your debts instead of paying with your own blood?'_  
  
Sho could imagine her flinching at this statement.  
  
 _'I...'He's just someone whom I grew up with..."_ Sho felt a sharp pierce through his chest. _"There was never any special feelings-"_  
  
His vision had gone darker, and Sho gripped the armrest of the chair he was sitting in.  
  
 _'Please let me go,'_ She whispered. Haruna always whispered whenever she was backed into a corner, or whenever she was scared. But for her to be doing this-  
  
"He doesn't really belong to you for you to give him away."  
  
 _'He! He'll do it for me, I know he will! Sho... has always lik-'_  SLAM!  
  
Sho had grabbed the recorder and smashed it against the wall. It broke into large chunks as they dropped onto the ground.  
  
"It's not true! This is all a lie! She'd never have said it. She'd never have thought of this!" He could feel his right temple pulsing. "She couldn't have owed you money either! She doesn't gamble!"

The lady smiled at him, unfazed by his sudden reaction.  
  
"Really? Well, I'm sure there wasn't a mistake in my records. It was HER name in my books, with a huge amount of debts towards my casinos."  
  
"She doesn't gamble. I know she doesn't."  
  
The Madame laughed and told him,  
  
"Well you have me there. Maybe she didn't. After all she's only the guarantor."  
  
Sho stared at her. This time, there was a nasty smirk on her face, which tells him how much she's enjoying this little talk, and that things will get even worse from there. She opened her drawer again and took out a photo, tossing it onto her desk, and gestured casually for Sho to look at it.  
  
He was sure he wouldn't like what he would see, but he had no choice. He stepped closer towards it. His heart nearly stopped again.  
  
It was a picture of Haruna... holding hands with another man. He was a tall, blonde Caucasian, who'd smiled back at her in the picture as she smiled at him in a way Sho had never seen her before.  
  
Sho froze, unable to tear his eyes away from the picture.  
  
"Yes, my dear boy. She is the guarantor for this useless man. Hopeless gambling addict. She volunteered herself to be." The Madame sounded amused. "Love is blind." Sho could feel his vision blurring.  
  
"In other words, your life has been sacrificed for another man. You were never that important to her." Sho's hands were shaking, and he could feel something warm running down from his eye.  
  
"Well, you can choose now boy. You can go out there in the world, with nobody to wait for you, and giving me the right to exact my punishment on your Haruna, or, you can stay here."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Did you know," Sho wondered how her voice managed to become even more nastier than it already was, "why Kohara was punished?"  
  
Sho looked at her sharply.  
  
"It was to stop us from letting you know about this. I was discussing it with one of my ladies. He overheard my conversation and he rushed in to attempt to destroy it, and actually wounded me. Silly man."  
  
Sho had difficulty breathing. He couldn't think anymore. Couldn't think of the sacrifice that Kohara had tried to make for him, and how the Madame had wasted it all in a moment.  
  
"It doesn't really matter to me whether you stay or go of course. It's up to you. Just remember now that that foolish woman's life rests in your hands. But let me warn you, this is your last chance to go."  
  
He'd stayed not for Haruna, but for Kohara, was what he told himself. He stayed so he could destroy the Madame to avenge Kohara. But deep down inside, he knew, part of the reason he stayed was because there was no longer anyone out there waiting for him. There was no reason for him to go back to the world outside.  
  
And as time progressed, he was awakened to the reality of the situation. She was too powerful, and he was only an ant in her path. And she probably knew it. He'd surrendered his life to the Devil's spawn herself, and could no longer escape.  
  
+.+.+  
  



	3. Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"There is something you must do." The Madame's voice echoed through the intercom in Sho's room as he changed. And the day of the experiment arrived again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains sexual indications and contents. You are advised to not read on if you are not comfortable with it.

**Chapter 3  
Title: Friends?**

"There is something you must do." The Madame's voice echoed through the intercom in Sho's room as he changed. And the day of the experiment arrived again.

+++

Once again, he stood in front of the door belonging to Den X. His guard escort, Shirota, a tall mixed-blood, checked his watch before waving him in casually. He'd accompanied Sho a few times before, and unlike with most other guards and their wards, they've exchanged a few words before. He was a rather outspoken and friendly guard.

"Go on in, you know the rules and stuff. Do a good job." He said lightly.

"Easy for you to say," Sho murmured, opening the door, almost reluctantly.

"Isn't it interesting?" The guard said in an amused voice.

"Then YOU do it." Sho had stopped to retort. "Why aren't you assigned to Den duties anyway? Didn't the Madame realise its a waste of looks?"

"Well, I don't owe her money. She doesn't own me. I needed a job, that's all. And this is easy."

"Huh. And you took a job in this... place?"

Shirota laughed.

"Well, its better than being jobless. And this pays well. Go on in. Don't keep them waiting."

Sho stepped into Den X, his heart as nervous as it had been the first time. The Den was as bare as ever, as compared to the frilly gaudy room he had before. He looked around for his partner.

There he was, on the bed, curled up as when he had seen him the first time, except that he was lying down this time. He was clothed in light blue, like a hospital patient. Sho approached him cautiously, remembering that he had injured others before. He sat on the edge of the bed softly, but the other man showed no signs of noticing.

Sho reached out carefully, barely touching his partner with his fingertips.

"Hey there." Sho called out softly. No response. _Was he asleep?_ Sho dared to nudge him a little harder.

"You can't be asleep..." Sho muttered under his breath. He leaned his body across the bed to check on the unmoving figure.  
  
His eyes were shut, his hair softly covering part of them. Radiating off a tranquil feeling, he looked like a fallen angel, or at least, that's how it seemed to Sho. The older man clenched his fists, not quite comfortable with the strange feelings that ran through him at the moment. Sho pulled himself together and shook him again.  
  
His eyes snapped open, and he jerked up abruptly, causing Sho to back away, startled. For a split second, there was a flurry of movement, a short struggle, which ended with a soft thump, and Sho lying with his back on the bed as the man leaned over him, hands pinning Sho's arms to his sides with an iron grip, hair falling from the sides, staring at him, wild-eyed.  
  
"W-wait!" Sho gasped. The man was panting, breathing as if he ran non-stop in a marathon. He stared down at Sho, with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. Sho's arms were _hurting._ He twisted his arm around the man's left hand and gripped it too.  
  
"Calm down! It's just me!"  
  
The grip on his arms became tighter. Sho breathed in and tried to calm himself instead. He'd discovered that his heart had been beating extremely fast.  
  
"Okay, okay... I got it, I'm sorry... Shouldn't have startled you. Just... Just calm down please?" He released his partner's arm.  
  
For a moment both of them stayed, eyes in a deadlock, both panting. Jun looked at Sho, and blinked once, twice. He loosened his grip on Sho.  
  
Sho sat up slowly, straightening his shirt, eyes locked onto Jun, bracing himself for any more sudden launches, but there wasn't any. The other person was just staring at Sho, blinking.  
  
"It's me, Sho. The one who-" Sho's ears turned red as he hesitated. "The one who came here the other day..." He stared, unresponsive,  and Sho reached took Jun's hand gently and wrote his name on his palm. His partner stared at his palm and then back at Sho. His eyes cleared. He smiled.  
  
 ** _God._** _He **smiled**._ Sho could feel his stomach jump for a moment. It was a beautiful, sincere smile. Sho suddenly found it harder to breathe. He lowered his eyes.  
  
"Don't... Don't smile at me like that." No response. Of course.  
  
"I mean it. There's nothing for you to smile at. I'm just- " _Just here to have sex with you,_ his sentence went unfinished. There was no way he could continue that sentence.  
  
A pair of hands placed themselves on either side of his face, slowly bringing him to look up. Sho found himself staring at Jun's face, with an indescribable feeling infesting his insides. He couldn't understand why or what it was.  
  
Sho bit his lower lip lightly as their foreheads met. He shut his eyes. For a moment, he felt a sense of peace settling itself within him. Then, slowly, he pulled himself away from the other man, and placed his hands on Jun's shoulders.  
  
He brought his lips towards his partner's left ear and gently nibbled on it. His partner flinched slightly at the contact, and Sho kissed his ear lightly, as if to reassure him. _He's still not used to being approached in this manner,_ Sho reminded himself. _Of course he'll react this way._ He could feel Jun trembling, yet, not pushing him away.  
  
Treating his partner delicately, he began working his way down to his jaw, his neck, and then his throat. He could feel the other man grip the back of his shirt when his lips met with his collarbone.

Sho could faintly feel the throbbing of his partner's heart, rapidly speeding up as he kissed the area over it. He heard his partner sigh softly and wondered if he can pull through what the Madame had asked of him.  
  
  
+++  
  
 _I want your partner to take action in this round._  
  
He'd panicked after he heard what the Madame had intended for the next experiment. There was no way that whatever she asked was possible. He'd told her that as politely as he could without screaming at her. She had laughed and told him he could.  
  
Sho wandered around the common room, pacing restlessly. Until an annoyed voice told him,  
  
"Sit down, will you? I feel giddy looking at you." Nino was slouching on an orange sofa, watching him, holding a donut in his hand. Sho stopped pacing and went over to sit opposite him.  
  
"What's the problem?"  
  
"I think I'm doomed." Sho told him glumly.  
  
"Why? Is it the experiment?" Nino asked, lowering his voice as he straightened himself.  
  
Sho nodded and told him. Nino frowned as he registered it into his head.  
  
"So, the question is, how do you get a craz- mentally-challenged person to want to give you a hands-on?"  
  
The younger man stood up, a hand cupping his chin as he started pacing. Sho watched him. Somehow, it made him feel better after he told it to Nino. Nino loves a good challenge and won't relent until he finds its solution.  
  
Sho had never considered them as close, but, he found that he had subconsciously believed things would be better if Nino knows it. He was surprised to discover that.  
  
There was a moment of silence as Sho felt Nino turning things over his head, before,  
  
"Well, then, if that's the case..."  
  
+++  
  
Sho gulped. He wasn't sure this was a good idea after all. Or rather, he didn't think he could do it without feeling humiliated. He had stopped for the moment, considering his next action. His partner, his cheeks slightly flushed, opened his eyes and stared at him with what seemed to be expectation. It seems, to Sho's chagrin, that he remembered their first time clearly enough.  
  
The older man decided to take a dive for it. He apologised inwardly as he took hold of the younger man's hand, his own had begun sweating, and brought it to his crotch. His partner stared at their hands and then looked back up at him, blinking questioningly. Sho could feel himself turning red.  
  
He found that he couldn't look at him straight in the eyes. Instead, he forced himself to look down. He saw his hand placed atop the back of the other's. The other hand was pale... too pale, with long slender fingers which looked like they were made to sin. He wanted those fingers to touch him, to curl around him, to bring his desire to a new level and end it themselves.  
  
Taking a quick breath, he began guiding the other's hand up and down, feeling his own steadily growing hardness through the denim.  
  
He glanced at his partner while he was doing so, and discovered that the younger man was just watching him as he allowed his hand to be manipulated.  
  
Sho knew it was wrong, that that was not the way things work.  
  
He stopped, pulling his own hand away, and waited to see whether the other hand will continue by itself. It didn't. Sho sighed, feeling panic creeping in slowly. He picked up the other man's hand again.  
  
"Please... please do this for me." He guided the hand again, looking anxiously at his partner all the while. He let go again. The hand stopped again.  
  
"No!" Frustrated, he swapped aside the other man's hand, and grabbed his thighs, meaning to show him what he wanted him to do.  
  
He didn't mean to be rough or violent, and regretted it when he suddenly found himself being shoved away, falling, his back onto the bed, staring back at a trembling figure a distance away from him, who was gasping as if he was having difficulty breathing, almost like an asthma attack, with arms curled around himself.  
  
It was a pitiful sight.  
  
Sho was ashamed. He knew how easily afraid the other man was, and yet there he was, making the mistake of scaring him out of his wits. How could he be so inconsiderate? He got back up onto his knees, facing his partner directly.   
  
"I'm sorry." He said in a low quiet voice. "I'm sorry I scared you." His eyes were lowered to stare at the mattress beneath Jun. The younger man was still trembling, he could tell.   
  
"You..." He reached out towards his partner, who moved away slightly, as if to avoid him. Sho drew back his hand quickly.  
  
"Okay, okay... I got it..." Still facing his partner, he backed up until he reached the edge of the bed, getting down onto the floor, one leg then another. He laid his palms on the floor, hunching a bit as he looked at his partner, who didn't even look up.  
  
"Is- is here okay? I'll stay here alright?"  
  
He knew the people up there would get impatient, but he couldn't risk scaring the other man again. He'd try again, after his partner calms down. For a while, neither of them seemed to be moving, Sho staring at the other man, the other man not looking at him.  
  
Then, when Sho was still not quite through giving up, his partner raised his head slightly, peeking at him, as if finally realising the vacant spot on the bed. Sho didn't move, and waited to see what his partner would do, not wanting to scare him. 

And then, very slowly, almost unnoticeably, he moved closer towards Sho, his eyes on the older man. Sho held his breath and shut his eyes, trying to keep himself being calm, keeping himself from being too hopeful.  
  
He felt a cool hand pulling on his little finger lightly, a little bit uncertainly. He opened his eyes to see the person named Matsumoto Jun lean over the edge of the bed, one hand on his.  
  
Jun's eyes seemed anxious as he tugged a little bit more insistently on Sho's finger, as if to get him back on the bed. Not daring to breathe, to think, Sho allowed himself to be guided back onto the soft mattress. Sho threw him a look,  causing the other man to tense up and release Sho's finger, yet the man himself did not move away. It's a good sign, he supposed.  
  
Slowly, Sho leaned forward, summoning up his courage, and placed his hand on Jun's hand lightly, before taking his hand away, testing to see whether he was ready. The other man had flinched slightly, but nothing more.  
  
The older man then placed his hand on the younger man's thigh and looked at him anxiously, not sure whether he was doing the right thing, and not sure whether the other man was ready.  
  
His partner looked at him straight in the eyes, as if trying to understand what his intentions were by doing that. It took him a while and a great lot of effort, Sho could see but his eyes cleared slightly, and he looked down at his hands. He knew what should be done.  
  
 _He's smarter than he seems._  
  
For a moment, the other man seemed to be conflicting internally, fists clenched and body trembling. _Is he trying to force himself to do it?_ Sho thought, his heart twinged a little bit, empathising with his partner.  
  
He wondered, if perhaps he should just give up and take whatever punishment that might be sent to him. Surely it won't be too harsh, considering his success before?   
  
But then, his partner seemed to come to a decision and he reached out to trace Sho's jaw with his long fingers, taking Sho by surprise.  
  
It was gentle, and a kind of fearful feeling. The fingers shivered against his skin.  
  
Sho reached his hand up to place it reassuringly on the other man's hand as he followed it in its path, exploring his face, his cheeks, his lips. Sho felt as if every spot on his face where the cool fingers touched were burning.

He left the fingers to explore his upper body, and moved his own hands slowly up and down the sides of the other man's body, feeling him through his top. His partner trembled slightly with what seemed to be pleasure, stopping for a moment.  
  
 _It's strange. This man is afraid, yet he is brave._  
  
"You can do it." Sho muttered, as he concentrated on calming the nerves of the other person. His slow stroking on Jun's sides seemed to help as the other man's breathing became steadily paced.  
  
Slowly, the unsure fingers worked their way down his chest, earning a gasp from him when they innocently traced his abdominal muscles. The fingers seemed curious as they explored them, wanting to learn every dip and path.  
  
The man's eyes watched him, softly and gently.  
  
Sho could feel his desire growing hard between his thighs fast, and might have shoved the other man down had he not bitten his lower lip when the fingers went lower down his abdomen, hovering dangerously near his hardness, resisting the desire to take more from his partner. _No_ , he told himself. They were not ready for this yet. _Far from ready._  
  
He let the man explore him, resisting all temptations to take any actions on the other man. There was a moment when he grabbed the other man's hair on the back of his head by instinct, and quickly released it back when he realised what he was doing.  
  
He quickly glanced at the man who was resting in between his thighs. His partner didn't even notice. His hands carefully touched his hardness through his jeans lightly. Sho gasped as his body tingled all over from the contact.  
  
The younger man had paused, confused as to how to continue on. Then, slowly, Sho was almost certain that he remembered what Sho had showed to him earlier, he rubbed Sho's desire through the fabric of his jeans.  
  
Sho could feel himself growing heated, in between his thighs, and also in his face as the younger man stared almost inquisitively at the growing bulge in his jeans.   
  
"I... that-" He didn't get any further. The hand continued to rub on him, faster and harder, until Sho couldn't breathe anymore. Knowing that he needed to release soon, he took the younger man's hand and shifted it to his zipper, looking pleadingly at him, and then lowered his eyes, not being able to withstand looking at his partner longer.  
  
He wasn't sure whether his partner fully understood, but indeed, after more moments of thinking, he unzipped Sho's jeans, releasing his ripe hardened length. Sho clenched his teeth as he waited for his partner to move.  
  
 _He doesn't know about this world, yet he tries._  
  
He didn't have to wait long. Slender fingers curled themselves around him, almost elegantly, and if Sho didn't know how scared stiff he was, he would surely have been mistaken into thinking that this was something his partner had done all his life.  
  
He thrusted forward eagerly, almost a mistake. For a moment, the fingers almost released themselves, surprised. But then, as if it found its own courage, the pale hand that held him began slowly shifting itself, pumping him gently, yet almost erotically in its own innocent way.  
  
Sho heaved along with it, his breath caught in his chest, his heart beating at an unhealthy rate. Curious brown eyes alternated between watching him and his hardness, shining with newfound desire. The hand began to move faster as his partner breathed along with him, both men gasping and panting in between breaths.  
  
The fingers were like magic. Sho's muscles twitched and tensed with every stroke that his partner made. He knew he couldn't hold it in for much longer.  
  
"I-I'm going to-" He stuttered, his word lost between his gasps. His partner tugged at him, a little too hard, a little too rough, a little too naively, causing Sho's senses to crash.  
  
Almost too soon, Sho released into his partner's hand, fell on his back and laid down for a while, his chest rising and falling deeply. His partner stared at the sticky liquid clinging onto his hands wonderingly. Sho observed his whole being from where he was lying down and realised that there was a painfully hard bulge sticking out through his partner's pants.

He smiled, and tugged the other man by his arm, pulling him closer.  
  
"This, you do know you can just ask right?" Sho told him. Matsumoto Jun blinked.  
  
He guided the man on top of him and began working on his partner's arousal, through the pants, with deft fingers, utilising his years of experience. His partner gasped.  
  
Sho tugged his partner's pants down, just enough to get at what he needed, and with expert strokes, brought the man to his peak. With a thumb, he stroked the throbbing vein on the underside of his partner's length slowly and languidly, causing his partner to grip his arms tightly with exasperation.  
  
Ignoring the pain, he moved his thumb further out and lightly teased the slit on the crown, enjoying the squirms from the person on top of him. His partner gasped and arched back, moaning sensuously in a way that caused Sho a moment of uneasiness as he held himself back from being triggered once again.

_He's like a kid. A kid whose time had stopped moving. There are things in the world that he has learnt, and some he has not._

Within seconds, the younger man abruptly came into Sho's hands and on his abdomen and collapsed forward. Sho caught him and laid him down beside him to rest. For a moment, the two of them stared at each other, side by side.   
  
"Are you okay... Jun?" Sho dared himself to call the man by his first name, despite this being only their second time meeting.  
  
His partner was still breathing hard, clearly tired from the strain. Yet, there was a healthy pink flush flourishing on his pale face which made Sho feel better for him. Jun nodded his head slightly, smiling at him.  
  
"Good. Very good..."  
  
Then, Sho raised his hand to brush the fringe away from his partner's face, not quite knowing why. His partner didn't blink nor move, just looked at Sho with those surreal eyes of his. Sho wondered what he was thinking.  
  
 _This man, Jun, he can comprehend speech, and he can understand me, but, there is still something amiss about him, and I have no idea why._  
  
"Hey... How did you get to be like this?" He had wanted to ask. But he couldn't. He knew there would be no answer.  
  
+++  
  
"Do you know if he could talk before or was he always...silent?"  
  
"WHAT?! Is this Matsumoto Jun BOTH mad AND DUMB??"  
  
"SHUT IT NINO! Fine, you didn't know." Sho turned away from Nino. He wasn't really mad. He knew the younger man wasn't being a jerk on purpose, it's just his habit of teasing people. He just wished he was more discreet.  
  
"I lied. I knew okay? Sheesh." Nino didn't really like the thought of people thinking him as ignorant, Sho reflected.  
  
"Well? Did you find out anything else?" Sho didn't bother trying to pry out from Nino how he does his research or where does his resources come from, knowing fully well how good he is at keeping his own secrets.  
  
"Nothing much. Just a bit." He sounded a bit annoyed with himself. "It's weird that there's not much information about this guy of yours." He seemed to think.  
  
"H-He's not mine." Even as Sho said it, he wondered how much of it was true, according to himself anyway.  
  
"Yeah sure," Nino said distractedly. "As I was saying, it's suspicious."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Hell, I've been through many people's backgrounds, and I've had a much easier time accessing to them than you think. But this guy-" Nino paused.

Sho straightened up, "Yes?" The younger man grinned at him.  
  
"Hmm. Even this little bit took a lot out of me. What are you going to give me in return for the info?"  
  
"What?! Isn't this voluntary help?"  
  
"No." Nino said briskly. "Tch," Sho went. He should have foreseen this coming sooner or later. Nino was always a person who puts his own benefits before anything else.  
  
"So, do you want it or not?"  
  
"Ugh. Greedy. You have something in mind?" Nino grinned at Sho. Sho braced himself.  
  
"Sure. You're paying for me for the next thing I buy from Ohno's. I'm putting it in your tab, okay?"  
  
"Ohno's?" Sho thought that it was pretty cheap coming from Nino. "Uhh..."  
  
"Yes, Ohno's. Do we have a deal or not?"  
  
 _It's a pretty suspicious deal,_ Sho thought,  _but..._ "Fine."  
  
"Well, putting aside the amount of time and effort I've invested into finding this out..."  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"All I've got was that he lived with his grandfather before moving in with his relatives recently, you know that already of course. And... I'm not sure about this but..."  
  
"But?"  
  
"This mental thing he had, he wasn't borned with it. He was perfectly normal."  
  
Sho registered that in. Certainly enough, this Jun was normal at parts. He'd retained quite a considerable amount of sanity.  
  
"And then, there was a certain age, in which his mind became badly affected. He wouldn't let people near him, and would resort to violence if they so much as to touch his shoulder lightly. He'd injured some kids before when they tried to push him around. Badly."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I think they tried to push him off somewhere and he beat up one of the boys so hard he bled."  
  
"Seriously? Are you sure? What happened to him that made him like that?"  
  
"I don't know," Nino shrugged. "Mind deterioration? Genes? No, I'm not sure."   
  
Sho doubted it but continued, "What happened after that? Seeing that he got better?"  
  
"Hmmm? What do you mean?"  
  
"What do you mean, what do I mean? He got better a bit right? He doesn't resort to violence so much, and he allowed me to touch him..."  
  
"Uhhh. I'm not sure about that. This is all I know of him so far."  
  
"Is that so... Well, that's something at least. Thank you, Nino."  
  
"Don't thank me. You're still paying."  
  
Another voice popped in,  
  
"Are any of you doing Ballroom duties today?" Aiba asked as his head stuck inside the common room's entrance doorway.  
  
+++  
  
"I don't believe this. Oh. My. God. WHY are we in these?" Nino asked Aiba while lifting up his dangly sleeves. Sho couldn't blame him for looking so disgusted.  
  
After all, if you're dressed as a 10 year old boy character from a story in your childhood time, when you're already in your twenties... Actually, he found it amusing as he grinned at Nino, who was still staring at his green outfit, refusing to put on the hat that came with it.  
  
"I did NOT hear about this."  
  
"It's the theme for today." Aiba was grinning happily as he pulled on a blue robe. "For some reason the original theme got cancelled. So they made me choose."  
  
"It's alright for YOU."

"I've always wanted to be Eriol. He's so cool. His _costume_ is cool."  
  
"But you're not," Nino retorted. Aiba ignored him as he pulled at Sho.  
  
Sho observed the two amusedly. It seemed as if Aiba had recovered from what Sho had told him the last time, and was going about as his normal self. That's what it seems to Sho anyway, and he was glad to see Aiba back to being cheerful.  
  
"I want to go as a set. Come, come. I've got a costume for you too." Sho allowed himself to be pulled towards a box in the dressing room.  
  
"Where DO you get these stuff?" He asked, as Nino trailed along behind them.  
  
"Modified," Aiba beamed. "I got the lady down at the tailoring room to help a few days before." He stopped right in front of the box. "Okay here we are!" He pulled a costume out of it.  
  
Both Nino and Sho looked.  
  
"..."  
  
"Pfft!" That was Nino. "Yes, you should wear that Sho, it suits you very well."  
  
"No WAY." Sho had backed away from Aiba.  
  
"What? What's wrong with it? I think it's cute." Aiba asked.  
  
"Yes Sho, don't you need to win some ladies?" Nino was grinning. _Brat._  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
"Come on Sho, it's cute!"  
  
"NO. There's no way you could have modified this in a few days, how did you get this?!"

"I'm telling you, I got it modified! It was originally without the tail and wings, so all I had to do was get them fixed on. Please put it on!"  
  
"But I don't want to go as Kero!!!"  
  
+++  
  
Lady Rie was there again. Sho had stepped back on seeing her sitting at her usual table. Too late, she had already spotted him. She blinked, squinted, and enlightenment descended in her eyes, and then covered her face with her elegant fingers, gleaming with stone jewelry.  
  
Is she laughing at me?? Sho thought with a straight poker face. She waved at him to approach.  
  
He did, as elegantly as he could wearing a mascot costume with a tail. She appraised him from top to bottom without saying anything, just smiling in a most uncomfortable manner. He stood still, hands clasped in front of him, looking down.  
  
She _laughed._  
  
"Oh my Sho! Goodness! I've heard that today's theme is ...'childhood stories' but-" She said 'childhood stories' like it was a super slimy slug, "I didn't know whether I should come but this is... utterly amusing!"  
  
"My colleague really wanted to cosplay as a character in the story but... he wanted a proper set... so I got dragged in." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder, vaguely towards Aiba's direction, who was showing off his costume to another regular, laughing and joking with her as he made a full spin so she could see the whole outfit.  
  
"Well, it's fine, you look cute. Although..."  
  
"Yes my Lady?"  
  
"It makes me wonder whether the Sho I always knew is really the man before me now?"  
  
"W-What do you mean?"  
  
"Oh... I don't know. You look... somehow... purer? Than the last time you stood before me in this very spot."  
  
Sho laughed. Genuinely. "You jest with me, My Lady. How can I be?"  
  
"Hmmm... Odd indeed." She frowned for a while before clearing her face. "Oh well, come accompany me, with your bear costume and all."  
  
"It's not a bear, Lady Rie."  
  
+++  
  
Sho didn't know what it meant when he was in his usual Den performances, he kept thinking about Matsumoto Jun. He didn't know why he kept imagining that it was Matsumoto Jun there with him, instead of his partner. He couldn't understand why when they've only been together twice.  
  
The ladies noticed the difference in his performances. It was no longer that of a stale expert, or so his examiner said. Rather, it felt like a renewed youthful desire. They loved that new change. Loved his new cries of desire. His new lust-filled actions.  
  
Sho found himself regaining his popularity slowly. Yet, he only looked forward to his next experiment. To meet the disturbed young man once more.  
  
"Hey Sho?" A soft voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to his full consciousness.  
  
He was standing in the Chateau's bakery, browsing through the different pastries and breads. It was a good day to be out, hot, bright, and so he decided to visit Ohno.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I was asking where the others are... Are you alright? You were staring into space..." The older man was looking at him concerned.  
  
"I'm fine. What others?"  
  
"Nino and ummm... Aiba?" Sho had told him stories about Aiba before, including the recentmost escapade. He supposed Aiba also comes down to talk to Ohno sometimes.  
  
"Why would you ask me about them?"  
  
"Eh... Aren't you guys friends?"  
  
"No, have you ever seen us visiting you together?" Sho said dismissively. Yet, as soon as he said that, he was struck by the question. _Friends?_ _Nino, Aiba and him? When did that begin to be a possibility?_  
  
"Hmmmmm...." The baker stared at him thoughtfully. _What does he know?_ Sho thought uncomfortably. He's only been here less than 6 months.

He remembered the morning he discovered the new bakery. He'd aimlessly walked out of the Chateau as usual, when the scent, now familiar, of freshly baked bread trapped him, and lured him to the shop.

Ohno had greeted him with a refreshing, calm smile and offered him a free bun as a special.  
  
He had sat down on a stool which Ohno had somehow pulled out from somewhere, and began chatting with him. It was weird, now that he thought about it.  
  
Normally, you don't sit down and eat with a stranger whom you've met for the first time. But Ohno seems like the kind of person who'd attract others to him without knowing it. He attracted Sho too. It was as if Sho felt like he could entrust everything to this kindly man before him. As if this man knows a lot more to life and the world then he looks.  
  
 _Friends...?_  
  
+++  
  
"Did you see the new guy?" Sho overheard someone talk from behind him, as he sat on a table in the cafe, where the Chateau workers were having their lunch.  
  
"Yeah, he's kind of creepy huh?"  
  
"I heard he's really into _it_."  
  
"Seriously? Ugh, I hope I don't get him then."  
  
Sho shuddered. _There really are all kinds of people here._  
  
 "Hey, can I sit here?" This sentence was directed to him. Sho looked up. Aiba. He sat down opposite of him anyway before Sho could say anything, placing his plate of chicken cutlet down on the table. For a moment, they sat in silence. Sho could sense that Aiba had something on his mind as he fidgeted around with his food.  
  
"What's up?" Sho asked Aiba, finally unable to stand it.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"You've got something to say right? Just say it."  
  
Aiba looked taken aback, then opened his mouth to protest, but changed his mind. Sho observed Aiba collecting his thoughts.  
  
"That day..." The man began.  
  
"That day?"  
  
"You told me about the Madame, and the man you knew."  
  
 _Ah,_ Sho thought.  _He's still disturbed by it. His cheerfulness in the Ballroom was just a facade then._  
  
"I've been thinking about it a lot... I can't seem to get it out of my mind."  
  
"I don't blame you."  
  
"But.."  
  
"But?"  
  
"I've decided that I won't believe in it fully."  
  
 _"What?"_  
  
Sho stared at Aiba, mouth slightly opened, who took a deep breath and looked back at him straight in the eye.  
  
"Yes, I can't believe in it fully, as from just your point of view."  
  
 _I've known her longer than you do,_ Sho wanted to say. _You're making a big mistake, Aiba._ But no words came out of his mouth. Aiba continued,  
  
"I'm sure there must be some sort of hidden reason behind all of it." He said firmly. "Surely she can't be that bad? It's just...not... human."  
  
Sho was speechless. He didn't know what to make of what Aiba just said. This man before him, believes that there is a good side in the Madame. Was he a fool, or an angel?  
  
 _She's not human Aiba, she's not human. Dammit._ But he couldn't say it.  
  
"You... you believe that everyone has a good side?" Sho said instead, voice strained.  
  
Aiba kept quiet for a while before saying,  
  
"...Yes. I do. So... So... I'm going to forget what I heard from you...It's not that I think you're lying, but if what you are saying is true... I don't think I can accept it. So..."  
  
Sho wondered if he was feeling a bit disappointed at Aiba's decision. He wondered why.  
  
"But no hard feelings okay?" Aiba smiled at him genuinely, his eyes looking at him hopefully.  
  
Sho couldn't reject him.

+++  
  
He was staring out the balcony of the Nectar Wing, staring listlessly at the birds flying in the sky, when he heard the door slide open. Wondering if it might be Nino, he turned around, and almost yelled.  
  
"BOSS! What the hell are you doing here?!"  
  
"Eh..." The older man blinked at him for a moment, slowly processing his thoughts. "Oh... You are surprised that I'm in here when I'm not supposed to be?"  
  
"...Yes?"  
  
"Nino made an order. So I came to send it."  
  
"You can do that in here?!"  
  
The older man blinked again.  
  
"Umm. No one said I can't?"  
  
"But -the guards-"  
  
"Ah. At the stairs? They recognised me and let me in."  
  
Sho was tempted to smack his head against the wall. _Of course. Obviously we aren't his only customers._ He'd taken things for granted.  
  
"I asked them where the Nectar Wing is, and the door isn't locked, so I got in easily enough and saw you..."  
  
"Wait a minute, did you say Nino made an order?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Cake." The man gently raised one hand to show a considerable-sized white box, with a simple embroidery pattern on the edges, holding it by the handle.  
  
"Cake?" Sho wondered out loud. _What does Nino want a cake for?_  
  
"Yup. Where is Nino?"  
  
"Nino? Urm. He might be having duty at the moment."  
  
"Ah... Which one?"  
  
"..." He has wondered before whether it was a good thing to tell this pure man about the Chateau, but he seemed to accept it normally, including the Den duties they upheld. Good man, this Ohno.  
  
"Might be ballroom. Usually Den duties are more in the late afternoon or evening."  
  
"Ohhh, alright."  
  
They fell silent for a moment. Then both began at the same time,  
  
"Umm."  
  
They stared at each other and opened their mouths again,  
  
 "Why don't you join us for a while today?"  
  
"Ah. The shop..."  
  
"Oh."  
  
More silence.  
  
"Umm." They both started up again.  
  
"Y-yes?"  
  
"The bill."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nino said the bill's on you... so..."  
  
 _Oh._ He almost forgot.  
  
"Oh right. How much is it?" _A cake huh? I thought it would be like a mountain pile of bread..._  
  
Ohno gave him the bill for him to clear off, and held the cake up to him, before going away in his quiet cat-like way. The cake was a surprisingly reasonable price even. _Guess it goes to show that Nino isn't as bad as he seems,_ Sho thought. He couldn't resist peeking into the box.  
  
It was a luxurious chocolate cake, decorated with delicate twirls of chocolate cream and shining strawberries. Like a birthday cake, without a title.  
  
"Wonder who it's for?" Sho asked aloud.  
  
"For the spirits." A voice answered in his ear, causing him to jump. Nino was standing behind him when he turned around.  
  
"Don't do that! What spirits? Where were you?"  
  
"Nature's call." He swiftly took the cake box out of Sho's hand. "Thanks for paying."  
  
"Who is that cake for? Is it your birthday?"  
  
Nino opened his mouth, seemed to think for a while, and settled for smiling at him mysteriously,  
  
"Secret."  
  
+++  
  
 _He was drowning in a pool of redness. A coppery unpleasant stench filled up the air around him. He tried to reach out to the edge of the pool, but something was stopping him. Something was pulling him in, sucking him back, trying to sink him to bottom of the pool.  
  
"Sho." A familiar voice. "Sho... I want to see my family. Please take me to them..."_  
  
 _"Kohara?" Sho asked, incredulous. "But. You're dead."  
  
An angry roar came from below, and he was pulled even harder. He fought it, trying his best to stay above the surface. He kicked at the mysterious being inside, but it got the better of him. Soon, he was immersed in the red liquid, struggling to breath._  
  
He woke up, gasping. _A nightmare. Just a nightmare_. Someone was hammering on his door. Struggling to stand while moving his sheets aside, he walked to the door and opened it.  
  
Aiba was standing at the door beaming at him. There was no sense of awkward uneasiness with him at all. Sho was amazed by him.  
  
"Come join us, Sho!" He tugged at Sho's hand.  
  
"What-?" Sho blinked, trying to get accustomed to the light outside his room.  
  
"Nino's sharing out cake!"  
  
"Eh? What? Is it his birthday then?"  
  
"Umm, nope, don't think so. I asked but he just told me to shut up and eat."  
  
Sho's eyes focused and saw a number of familiar faces outside, biting down on their slice of cake. Toma was sitting at the arm of a sofa, and nodded to him. There were also a few others he'd never really faced in the Den, and never really talked to outside.  
  
He saw one, Ryo maybe, who was chatting animatedly with Nino. These two are considerably close, Sho thought to himself. The cake box was lying on the table. Sho approached Nino, nodding at Ryo before turning to face the man in question.  
  
"You're giving away the cake now?"  
  
"Yup. Have one."  
  
"Why didn't you give it out earlier, at a more earthly hour?"  
  
"Because I feel like it?" He grinned at Sho.  
  
"Now, now, Sho, we shouldn't push him so much. I think its great just being able to have this cake." Aiba interrupted. He'd tagged along behind Sho. He stuffed a slice of cake, wrapped in tissue, into Sho's hand, mushing it up as he did so.  
  
"You ruined his cake, Aiba," Ryo pointed out, his mouth stuffed with chocolate. Nino just laughed.  
  
Sho stared at his cake and then looked around the room. Men were chatting with one another, casually, joking around, fooling around, eating cake, as if they were all normal. Despite their abnormal situation, they could still live like other people.

Reverting his attention back to the people near him, he spotted Aiba trying to cake Nino's face, who smacked his hand and scowled.  
  
He felt warm looking at them as he subconsciously smiled a little bit.  
  
 _Aren't you guys friends?_ Ohno had asked. He doesn't know the answer to that, but he knew that he enjoys the warm feeling he was enveloped in right now. The warm feeling that distracted him from his nightmares.  
  
He wished Matsumoto Jun was there to feel that warmth.  
  


+.+.+


	4. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day he stood before the unmoving body amidst the crowd of people that had gathered inquisitively around it still haunts the depths of his memories. 
> 
> It was strange... was he not supposed to cry? he thought. But no matter what, there were no tears. All that was left in him was a numb frozen feeling as he stared at the person who would no longer wake up, no longer talk, no longer move.
> 
> It's not my fault, he told himself over and over. It's not my fault.

_ _ Disclaimer: I don't own Arashi. _ _  
  


** Platinum Oleander Chateau **  
** Chapter 4: Alive **

_ The day he stood before the unmoving body amidst the crowd of people that had gathered inquisitively around it still haunts the depths of his memories.  _  
  
_ _ It was strange... was he not supposed to cry? he thought. But no matter what, there were no tears. All that was left in him was a numb frozen feeling as he stared at the person who would no longer wake up, no longer talk, no longer move. _  
  
_ It's not my fault, he told himself over and over. It's not my fault. _ _  
  
+++  
  
By the third experiment, Sho knew it was hopeless. As he stared at the man who was asleep beside him, partially naked, asleep from exhaustion, he knew he can't perform in the Den with anyone else.  
  
No. Not that he can't. He _didn't want to_.  
  
One of Madame's examiners had told him that the guests are now paying to watch his performance with the experiment, so, as told by the examiner, the Madame expects him to do a good job with it. They'd moved from Den X to another Den.  
  
Before the experiment began, Sho had been determined. He'd wanted to talk to Matsumoto Jun even if he didn't receive a reply in return. Wanted to befriend him. To know more about him other than his body.  
  
His determination failed miserably when he stepped into the assigned den. Noting that the Den had been modelled to imitate a prison cell, he surveyed the room further to find Matsumoto Jun. He stepped forward and found him.  
  
The younger man had been blindfolded, and his hands were cuffed by a pair of shackles attached to the lower half of a gray bare wall, sitting quietly, head lowered, facing the ground, dressed in white loose pyjamas. He looked up as he heard Sho's footsteps approaching him and flattened himself against the wall, like a cornered kitten, shaking his head slightly as if he was saying, _No, I don't want to, please._  
  
It was the head shaking that triggered Sho's anger. He saw Jun's body trembling ever so slightly, biting his lip as he fears the incoming approach.  _He's scared. He's very scared._  Clenching his fists, he turned towards the glass ceiling.  
  
"Let him out of there. He doesn't need to be chained."  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Please, let him out. Tell me where the keys are." Silence. Sho couldn't understand why they needed to come up with all these... props. Madame still does not allow any of the guests to give instructions on how they should perform for these experiments. And he would definitely not do anything that would hurt and scare this poor man anymore, so what was the point in shackling him?  
  
"Please?" Only the faintest sound of the man's quick, fearful breathing could be heard.  
  
Being blindfolded, not knowing what was coming, Sho could somewhat understand that fear.  
  
"J-Jun..." He called out softly, stumbling on the name of his partner. Jun twitched, backing further away. _Please, please don't,_ that silent voice seems to say. It infuriated Sho, but it also struck him that the younger man had also distanced himself from Sho the last time around. As if he couldn't recall who Sho was.  
  
 _Why are you rejecting me again?_ Sho thought, a bit hurt.  
  
"It's me... Have you forgotten?" _Again?_  
  
He took hold of his partner's wrists. The other man tried to pull away, but restrained by the shackles, he couldn't really do anything.  
  
"Hush, I'm going to help you out of here."  
  
The other man ignored him and continued struggling. Sho pulled off his blindfold and quickly, almost instinctively, Sho brought his forehead to the other man's, a practice familiar to them by now. Jun stopped moving, eyes focusing on Sho. Sho waited. A little while later, the other man nudged his forehead forward a little bit, as if to acknowledge him, to tell him that he remembers him. Sho looked at him, who looked down at the floor, avoiding Sho's eyes.  
  
Sho touched the shackles. His partner did not make any movement. Cold, hard metal. _Is there a way to open them?_ He looked at the shackles more closely. There's the keyhole, securely locked.  
  
Using both hands, one on each side of the shackle cuffing his partner's right hand, he pulled, trying to wrench them apart. He failed. He tried again, and failed again.  
  
"How do I get you out?" He muttered as he made another wrench at shackle. "Where are the keys?" He looked around the Den, decored like a prison, complete with jailbars on each side of the wall. There should be a way to get him out of these.  
  
He felt eyes looking at him, knowing that they belonged to the younger man. He turned his head to meet his eyes. The other man was looking at him with a solemn face.  
  
"I'll get you out, I will."  
  
He stood up and searched around the prison. It was hopeless. There was nothing but a washbasin standing in the corner, which doesn't even work. Desperately, he searched every inch, every gap in the room but the search turned out futile.  
  
At this rate, he'd have to do as how the Madame had set it for him to do; the only one thing left that he could do... finish the performance before the other man could be released, just as it was planned by _them_. _Why? Just for the kinks?_ But he didn't want to, he didn't want to end it this way. He returned back to his partner, feeling a little helpless and very frustrated. He tried again, pulling at the shackles, but no matter what he did, they won't come apart.  
  
 He glanced at the washbasin, and after thinking a while, walked over to it. Using his strength, he pulled out the tap from the washbasin. It came off easier than he thought it would. Then again, it's probably just another piece of prop. He headed back to Jun, and began hitting the shackles with it, over and over. Nothing works. Time was passing by. They'd be punished, if he doesn't settle this soon.  
  
There was no choice left.  
  
"I'm sorry," Sho could hear the coarse strain in his voice. He knelt down as he looked at the other man; still restrained by shackles, half lying on the ground, eye to eye. "I'm sorry." _There's no choice. None._  
  
+++  
  
When it was over, Sho massaged the wrists of the other man tenderly, over the angry red lines that had formed. His partner had been willing to allow Sho to hold him, in a way that made Sho feel ashamed of himself. He could tell that at the points when the younger man struggled, the shackles had bit into him sharply, but Sho had tried to ignore it. Now he looked at the left-behind marks guiltily.  
  
"You'll be let out soon. I'll stay here and make sure they do." He continued stroking over the other man's wrists tenderly, the other man's eyes fluttering shut, his face wearing the clear signs of exhaustion. Sho looked at his face, a sense of forbidding settling inside him.  
  
He'd told himself that he was just doing this with the younger man because it was his duty, nothing more. He'd told himself that he would not go over with this broken man, to limit his actions to the most minimal requirements because there was no need to go beyond it.  
  
But he knew, deep inside, he wanted to just touch this man, hold him, have all of him. And his lips, how he wanted to touch them, feel them, without knowing why(everything brought about by Jun, Sho could never understand), while knowing it was unneccessary. It was an almost freakish thought really, Sho knew, but he couldn't help feeling that way.  
  
He stared on as irrational thoughts raced through his mind. Stared at the man's lips, at his slender fair neck, at his collarbone, back to his lips. It was tempting. Too tempting.  
  
 _Perhaps... just touching the lips...?_    
  
Reaching out, with a thumb, he lightly touched and traced the man's soft, dry lips, then trailed down to his jaw, watching over the sleeping profile...  
  
Sho caught himself in the nick of time, lips hovering dangerously close to that of the other man's, breaking in cold sweat, heart beating fast with panic, as he realised that his control over himself had weakened greatly ever since he met this man. He needed to get away.  
  
He pulled himself away, and instead leaned heavily against the wall beside his partner. Kissing was not a requirement of the Den's performances unless the guest requested it to be so. It's unnecessary, he thought to himself. _Unnecessary, and yet..._  
  
Instead, he forced his thoughts to turn somewhere else. He reflected on what happened earlier, how Jun didn't recognise him, and wondered why. He then reflected on how the man's skin burned hotly under his palms, how it was abnormal for his heart to beat so fast everytime he had a Den performance with him, how abnormal it was for him to imagine that it was Jun who was his partner during his other Den performances with.  
  
And then he was sure, that imagining would never work again. It would no longer satisfy his need for the younger man. No, not his need. His _want_.  _Am I a bit of a pervert?_ he wondered.  
  
The door clicked open at that moment. Sho turned towards it. A couple of guards entered, knelt down beside his partner and began unlocking his shackles. He felt apprehensive all of a sudden, watching the two guards with the defenseless, sleeping man. One of them turned to Sho.  
  
"Go back."  
  
"I- I'd like to wait."  
  
"No, go back now."  
  
"Ple-" Another guard came in.  
  
"Come now, Sho. Don't be difficult." It was Shirota.  
  
"I just want to make sure he'll be alright."  
  
"He'll be fine. Come on, go." He tugged on Sho's arm, leading him back out.  
  
+++  
  
 _There was one day when he opened the door and was startled to find a familiar figure, wet from the rain, standing in front of him, clutching onto a bag._  
  
 _ _"Kanata? Why are you here?"__  
  
 _"I ran away from home. Please let me stay here. I'll take care of my own expenses. Just-"_  
  
 _"Won't they find you here?"_  
  
 _ _"I don't care. I can't stand it anymore! They can't make me go back to them."_  
  
 _"Kanata..."__  
  
" _Don't let them take me back, Bro."_  
  
+++  
  
"What did you do to him?" Sho asked the Madame, trying his best to sound civilised.  
  
"What do you mean dear?" The Madame was using her sweet voice again, but Sho ignored it.  
  
"I noticed. He's afraid every time I approach him, he forgets me, pushes me away at the start, it takes him a while before he remembers me, every experiment. What did you do?"  
  
It went coldly silent.  
  
"You've only been with him thrice. Meaning he only gets to liase with you again twice. There were only two chances for him to remember you. What makes you think he can remember you within these few times?"  
  
"I-!" Sho stopped. It's true, he realised. They've only met thrice. But still... Still he was certain that Jun must have an impression of him.  He believed so. The Madame sighed.  
  
"You don't own him, my Sho dear."  
  
 _ _That was true too, but...__  
  
"I do. And it is entirely of my own interest on how he is to be utilised. It is up to me to choose who he should be with, and it is up to me how many times he goes on these experiments."  
  
Something clicked inside Sho's brain. _How many times he goes on these experiments?_  
  
"Wait..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Wait... you... the experiment... you are still... sending others to him? Wasn't it just me?" Sho tried to keep calm, despite the light-headed sensation he felt in his mind. He finally realised he'd taken things for granted.  
  
"Yes and no, it wasn't just you."  
  
Sho felt as if he had just taken a blow to his chest, as if that statement had confirmed his fears.  
  
"Shit." Sho muttered under his breath, clenching his trembling fist, gritting his teeth.  _She's been sending others to him. Possibly more than just once or twice._   _No wonder its hard for him to remember me. No wonder he's scared again and again._  
  
"Shit, shit." It is near impossible, he thought, to keep this hot sick sensation in his chest under control. He thought of the younger man shaking in fear. The thought of other men touching Jun... getting their way with him... Another man with Jun... _Damn. DAMN IT._  
  
"He interests me." Madame continued.  
  
"...Stop it."  
  
"Ah. Are you angry now, dear?" She sounded as if she was trying to tone down her amused voice. Sho struggled to pull himself back together.  
  
"Why? Why does he interest you to the extent of doing all this?"  
  
"Why?" She repeated his question, as if amused that he should even ask. "You know me better than that." He does. She loves playing with the human mind.  
  
This woman, has an insatiable thirst that moves her to explore, experiment and distort the mind of any man that happens to be unlucky enough to attract her attention. _You don't have to be crazy to be her target. Although this WAS the first time she tried experimenting with such an unstable mental state. And she found it fun._  
  
"You're- " _sick,_ Sho wished he could say that, but he didn't. It frustrated him how he was never able to say his thoughts out loud to the Madame.  
  
"And also..."She interrupted. "Something interests me."  
  
A pause. Sho waited.  
  
"He still hasn't let anyone else besides you to touch him."  
  
+++  
  
 _Kanata has changed a lot, he thought. He's different from the meek little boy when he last saw him two years ago before he'd left their house._  
  
 _ _Deep in his heart, he'd felt guilty leaving his younger brother to the vices of their ruthless parents. But he couldn't stand it any longer. Couldn't stand being smothered by their overwhelming expectations of him. He'd wondered whether he should have brought Kanata with him, but... he knew he couldn't afford to pay for two. And Kanata still had school to attend to, was what he told himself._  
  
 _So he'd left him behind._  
  
 _HIs brother now sleeps in his living room, insisting it was fine. He went out early in the mornings to school and returned in the evenings, after his part-time job. As he looked over Kanata in his sleep, he wondered if there was a way to be a better brother to him.__  
  
+++  
  
Sho couldn't focus on anything at all after what Madame had told him. The fact that it seemed that the younger man had somehow specially categorised him from other men. _Why?_  
  
"You seem distracted." Ohno told him as he came out from the back holding a new batch of cookies.  
  
"I... am. A bit I guess?"  
  
"Are you still on your probation?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How long will it last?"  
  
"I don't know. Until she's satisfied I suppose."  
  
"Are you doing well?"  
  
The question took Sho by surprise.  
  
"Me? I.. I guess I'm doing well. She hasn't sent out me out for execution or something so I guess I'm fine."  
  
"No, that's not what I meant." The older man chuckled softly.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"I just wondered what keeps getting you distracted. The other time too..."  
  
"I..." Sho looked down. Ohno gave him a bun, in which he took, and smiled slightly at the older man.  
  
"Do you know about the experiment?" Sho asked Ohno, who shook his head slowly in response.  
  
"No... Or rather, just a bit. It's a Den performance right?" _Nino must have told him._  
  
"Yes... It's with this person... He is, I suppose," Sho hesitated and glanced at Ohno, who was waiting calmly, "a bit mad."  
  
"Ah. That, I didn't know." Sho thought he would have been highly embarrassed when he told Ohno that, but the way the man reacted, as if it was just another piece of fact, somehow assured him that it was alright to tell this to the older man.  
  
"I don't know why but he disturbs me." Sho rushed on, feeling slightly better. "I keep thinking about him and I don't know why. He..." Sho's voice trailed off. _He makes me feel emotions that I've not had before._ Sho bit down into his bun.  
  
Ohno smiled at him, and placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.  
  
"I'm sure you'll find out why."  
  
+++  
  
 _He baked his brother a small cake for his birthday. It was his first attempt, so it didn't really look as great as one that was bought from a bakery, but he'd hoped Kanata would like it. After he took it out of the oven, fresh and hot, he stepped back and scrutinised it._  
  
 _ _It's missing something, he thought. It was too bare. Decoration? He quickly walked over and opened his cabinets. There's some toothpicks in here... he took one. Then he looked around his small apartment hastily for something to put on the toothpick.__  
  
 _ _He hurried back to his bedroom to search it. There was only a small keychain of a koala bear that he'd bought a few years back on a random whim. It'll have to do. He taped it onto the toothpick and stuck it into the center of the cake.__  
  
 _His brother had returned and was surprised to find him and the cake waiting for him. He spotted the keychain koala bear and laughed at him._  
  
 _ _"Bro! That is freaking ugly! Is that supposed to be for me?"__  
  
 _He'd blushed a little and told his brother to shut up and just eat the cake. His brother sat down to slice the cake for them to eat._  
  
 _ _"Well at least it's my favourite type of cake." He'd giggled as he distributed it._  
  
 _He was glad to see that his brother was smiling genuinely as they both ate and talked into the night._  
  
 _He can do this for Kanata at least.__  
  
+++  
  
"I want to meet him." Nino suddenly announced. He'd barged into Sho's room early in the morning, slamming his door open and waking Sho up with a sudden jolt.  
  
"What? Who?"  
  
Sho rubbed his eyes.  
  
"Matsumoto Jun of course."  
  
"Wha- Why?" Sho looked at him groggily, sitting up in his bed, still in his nightwear, bedsheets crumpled, not sure if he was hearing it properly and wondering whether he didn't lock his bedroom door.  
  
"I'm fascinated by him."  
  
"Okay... Right." _Like Madame._ Sho rolled over on his side.  
  
"I'm serious here."  
  
"Yeah sure, whatever. Look, can you come back later, at a better time? Some people are trying to sleep."  
  
Nino sighed and sat on Sho's bed. Sho ignored him as best as he could, but Nino continued to sigh in his distracting way.  
  
"Come on, think of a way."  
  
"...You're really serious?" Sho asked Nino, turning to face him. Sho noticed a bright yellow wristband with a blue star in the middle, on his right hand, and wondered if Nino was in the habit of wearing accessories to sleep, considering that he seemed to be wearing his nightwear still. He had the impression that Nino was into wristbands lately.  
  
"You don't want to see him outside the Den?"  
  
"We... we've only met a few times. Why would- would I?" Sho wasn't sure why he was stammering. He was also unsure why he had a giddy feeling in his stomach at the thought of meeting Matsumoto Jun. Nino stared at him with those sharp, observant eyes of his, but chose to remain silent.  
  
"Well... If you don't wanna go... I'll just go myself I suppose."  
  
Sho sat up quickly.  
  
"What? You can't do that!"  
  
"Why not?" Nino was looking at him with an almost too innocent look in his eyes.  
  
"He- he's dangerous."  
  
"You said its no longer that dangerous yourself."  
  
"But- but..." Sho's voice trailed off as he realised he was trying to stop Nino from meeting someone who was almost a complete stranger to him, someone who shouldn't matter much to him. _What is wrong with me?_  
  
"Fine. I'll go with you. Two is better than one."  
  
"Deal!" Nino said almost immediately. Sho looked at him suspiciously. It was as if he was waiting for Sho to say it. Yet he still looked at him innocently.  
  
"So now," Nino continued talking, distracting Sho's attention, "We need to figure out how to see him."  
  
"Do you even know where he is?"  
  
Nino rolled his eyes at Sho, his way of saying, _What do you take me for?_  
  
"Obviously, he's in the Root Wing correct?"  
  
Sho decided to dismiss the gesture and sat closer to Nino.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...That's all I know."  
  
"What!? That's all?"  
  
"The question is, how do we get in correct? We've never seen anyone come and go through that door."  
  
"It's probably guarded, like the Pedicle Wing." Sho said discontentedly.  
  
"Well, most likely. But what's inside I wonder?"  
  
"Well... If the Nectar Wing comprises of men who are obedient to her, and Pedicle Wing is of men who are not.. then the Root Wing...?"  
  
Nino shrugged.  
  
Sho stood up and walked to his desk, picking up the device on it to check his schedule for that day.  
  
"I have Ballroom duty in the afternoon. If you want to try, you'd have to try now or in the evening."  
  
"Now maybe?"  
  
+++  
  
 _He heard the rumours. Kanata hanging around with a gang of delinquents. People who skipped school, shoplifts, extorts, steals from bystanders, beats up people as a group._  
  
 _ _He'd waited for Kanata to return to confront him._  
  
 _"What does it matter to you?" His brother told him, while not really looking at him. He could tell his brother hated being confronted like this, but he was too angry to care. "They are my friends. They don't desert me when I needed them the most. Unlike someone I know."_  
  
 _He'd slapped him._  
  
 _He did not slap Kanata because he didn't like how his brother was being rude to him. He slapped him because Kanata was right. He'd deserted his brother... left him in that place unfit for living. His guilt had been weighing him ever since he left home, and in his heart he knew, however his brother had turned out, it was his fault. It hurts to admit it._  
  
 _"Then why did you come to me?!" He yelled. "Go stay with your wonderful friends!" He stalked into his room and slammed his door shut, carefully not showing his face to his brother.__

+++  
  
They stood before the door to Root Wing, bathed and changed, their hearts beating in a mixture of fear and anticipation.  
  
"Okay, you open the door and I'll stand right here next to you." Nino told him as he stepped slightly away from the door. Sho threw him a dirty look.  
  
"You're the one who wants to check. YOU do it."  
  
"Oh come on. Do it. Please?" Nino said, shamelessly looking at Sho with puppy-eyes.  _Damn,_ Sho thought. He was weak when it comes to people asking him to do favors looking like that. And Nino knew it. _The evil brat._  
  
His hand trembling, he reached out very slowly towards the doorknob, expecting an electric shock upon contact or something as alarming.  
  
His fingers closed around the knob safely, no electric shock, nothing. He sighed with relief and turned to glance at Nino. Nino nodded, half hidden in the shadows, even further away than before. Sho scowled at him.  
  
Sho turned the knob.  
  
+++  
  
Aiba found the two men sitting in the cafe, opposite each other, unspoken words drifted in the air as Sho stirred his already cold coffee, and Nino played around with his noodles glumly.  
  
"What's up with the depressed look guys?" Both of them looked up at him before looking back away.  
  
"Hey!  Don't ignore me!" He went past Nino, accidentally hitting his elbow, before he sat down forcefully, squeezing beside Sho.  
  
"Aiba, there's a lot of space to go around, why do you have to end up hitting me?"  
  
"Sorry Nino. So what's really up?" He squeezed beside Sho.  
  
Sho looked at Aiba with mild interest. He's an airhead, but he can be quite determined at times, curving around Nino's purposefully-crafted distraction. Aiba turned to look at Sho.  
  
"Its got something to do with the experiment between you and Madame doesn't it?" Sho cringed. And he has spot-on hunches too. Sho shot a glance at Nino, wondering if he would say anything about Matsumoto Jun. Nino shook his head. He'd never tell on people's secrets. He was weirdly honorable that way.  
  
"Tell me," Aiba insisted."Is it about that guy, whatever-his-name is?"  
  
"Matsumoto Jun," Sho corrected him without thinking, then shut his mouth, horrified. Nino rolled his eyes from opposite of him.  
  
"Ah. His name is Matsumoto Jun? The guy Sho has as an experiment?"  
  
Sho didn't know why but his stomach felt hot at that last statement.  
  
"He has some sort of problem doesn't he?" Aiba continued. Sho's heart skipped a beat. _Why does Aiba know that? What does he know? And... So what if he has a problem?_ He stopped stirring his coffee. Nino straightened up, watching him, but he ignored the young man.  
  
"What kind of problem was it Sho?"  
  
"...It's nothing." _It's none of your business._  
  
"Seriously? But I thought-" _Stop asking about him._  
  
"It's _nothing._ "  
  
"It was hard right? Getting him-" Sho stood up, not looking at Aiba. He didn't know why he was feeling angry all of a sudden. Or perhaps, he just didn't want to hear Aiba talking about Jun like he was a.. a thing.  
  
"What do you know about him? Have you met him before?" He felt the words rush out of him before he could stop them.  
  
"Huh? I just wanted to know-"  
  
Sho turned to face him, irritated.  
  
"LOOK-"  
  
"AND we'll stop here."  Nino interrupted, reaching across and placing a hand on Sho's shirt. He turned to Aiba and said,  
  
"Sorry Aiba, I think he's not in a good mood right now. It's kinda my fault in a way I guess. I think we should go."  
  
Aiba stared at them as Nino lead Sho away out of the cafe. They stopped outside the Nectar Wing's door, Sho swatted away Nino's hand, maybe a little too roughly.  
  
"Ow!" Nino clutched his hand, where Sho had swatted him. Nino turned to confront him furiously.  
  
"Are you an idiot?" He hissed. "It's not Aiba's fault that he's curious about it. Hell, I was curious too. You're just upset right? Disappointed? I'm sorry alright? I didn't think it would be locked. Don't take it out on other people!"  
  
Sho stared adamantly at the wall past Nino.  
  
"I'm not disappointed." Hell, even he could hear the lie in his voice. Nino snorted.  
  
"Please, you can't fool me."  
  
"I... I'm not."  
  
"Look, this is only just the start. Trust me, I'll find a way to get in."  
  
Sho looked at Nino properly. He was slightly pale, and still clutching his hand, one hand over the yellow wristband he had been wearing since morning.  
  
"Did that really hurt?" He asked, feeling slightly guilty. "Sorry."  
  
"Huh? No, it's fine." Nino released his hand and straightened up. Sho stared at his wristband, feeling slightly bothered by it. It was as if something at the back of his mind was trying to tell him something, but couldn't get through to him fully.  
  
"Come on, you have Ballroom duty later on, right?" Nino said. "Let's go back in."  
  
+++  
  
"SHOOoooo!" Lady Rie was definitely drunk, he thought as he bowed to her in greeting. At her command, he sat next to her.  
  
"How have you been my Lady?" It's only been a short while since he saw her, but the question was customary.  
  
"FANTAS-TIC!" She thrilled. Sho caught a whiff of the alcohol she had been drinking. Strong stuff.  
  
"Is something the matter Lady Rie?"  
  
"What? No! I'm just very happy, that's all!" _She doesn't seem that happy._  
  
"Why so?"  
  
"Hmmm?? Wellll~~"  
  
Sho waited as she clearly struggled to gather her thoughts.  
  
"Ahhh~ I don't quite know. I guess it just makes me happy watching your brilliant performances."  
  
 _Oh that,_ Sho thought. He should have known. But admittedly, it made him the slightest bit curious.  
  
"If it's alright with you, my Lady, may I inquire what it is about my performances makes you happy?"  
  
Lady Rie seem struck by the question for a moment, pursed her lips and seemed to think.  
  
"Ah...Ummm..."  
  
Sho looked at her, anticipatingly.  
  
"I suppose... I don't know. It's like the both of you fit one another in a way I've never seen you do with others before... Goodness! You both are thoroughly spoiling me now!" She laughed. Sho took the glass of wine which was carelessly held in one of her hands and replaced it with a glass of water he poured out.  
  
"Oh no, I can still take in more!"  
  
"No my Lady, I think that's enough for you."  
  
"Hnnnnn. That's what I like about you. You like to look over others." She smiled, drank a little water, and caressed his cheek with one hand. Sho allowed her to.  
  
She stopped smiling after a while.  
  
"But somehow... watching the two of you... I don't know what this feeling I'm getting is..."  
  
+++  
  
Sho returned to the Den where an apparent ruckus was going on. Aiba was tugging on Nino's arm, who was clearly trying to get away from him. Ryo and a few other guys were watching this scene with interest.  
  
"What are you guys doing?"  
  
They turned towards Sho, still struggling between themselves.  
  
"Hold him there!" Aiba asked, panting breathlessly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Don't listen to this idiot!"  
  
"This guy... I think he injured his hand, but he doesn't want to let me see and try to help him."  
  
 _Nino? Injured?_  
  
"Let go! It's not like you can help with it!" Nino gave one last shake, shaking Aiba's hand off him, then headed off angrily towards his room.  
  
A wristband worn on Nino's right wrist caught Sho's attention. It was clean white right now, nothing too outstanding. Then it struck him.  
  
The younger man was wearing a white wristband too, the night he he gave out the cake. He wasn't wearing one before that. In fact he'd never worn any before that as far as Sho could remember. Sho didn't notice it that time, but really, no one takes note of such details all the time after all, right?  
  
Sho walked after Nino, and forced entry into his room before the other man could close the door. _Did he get an injury at that time? How did it happen?_  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Let me see the injury Nino."  
  
"What? What for?" Nino was clutching onto his wrist.  
  
"Just let me see it."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
Sho lowered his outstretched hand.  
  
"You... don't want to show me?" He heard his own voice sounding a bit disappointed.  
  
Nino glanced at him before glancing away. There was a moment where Sho wasn't sure whether he'd really heard him. But then, slowly, he reached his arm out towards Sho without looking at him.  
  
Sho gently took it, and placing a hand on the wristband, pulled it off. He turned Nino's arm so that his inner wrist faces out. He stared.  
  
A long, thin line stretched out across his wrist. Sho wasn't an expert on wounds, but it doesn't take much to know what this was or wasn't. This wasn't an injury scar. He looked up at Nino.  
  
"Nino. You tried to kill yourself." Sho heard his own voice saying it calmly, in a most matter-of-fact way. That was the only way he could say it. Nino was still not meeting his eyes.  
  
"Sorry." Nino's voice was quiet and low.  
  
"It was that day wasn't it? ...Why?" _Why didn't you say anything to us?_  
  
Nino took the wristband from Sho and stepped further away from him, still not quite looking at him. He fidgeted with it, and then stared out his window, without saying anything. He finally turned towards Sho.  
  
"It was my younger brother's birthday. He loved chocolate cake."  
  
Sho slid in further into the room, and was about to close the door, when he noticed Aiba outside the doorway, listening quietly. He left it open.  
  
"We had an argument. He walked out. Never came back." Nino slumped against a wall.  
  
 _+++_  
  
 _ _They were arguing again._  
  
 _"I'm telling you, you shouldn't hang out with those people anymore!"_  
  
 _"Like I said, what do you care, Bro!? You ditched on me, and left me alone with THEM." Them. Their parents. They'd had so much hopes on Nino, pressuring him and his brother in their studies, limiting their lives. It was terrible, that's why Nino left. Left to search for his own life._  
  
 _"Do you have a clue what kind of hell they put me through after that? You're selfish Bro."_  
  
Nino kept quiet. He knew he was.  
  
 _"The only way I could stay sane was when I go out with those people! If its so hard for you to approve of seeing me with them, then fine. I'll leave the house!"_  
  
Nino wanted to stop Kanata from going.  
  
He watched as Kanata packed the meager things that he'd brought along with him. Watched the little brother he had watched grow from a small baby in his arms to a now adolescent who'd suffered much pain. The little brother he'd played with and loved as his companion who relieved his burden when their parents stressed their expectations upon him, giving him more pressure than he could handle.  
  
They'd changed. Both of them had. But... that didn't mean they'd stopped caring for each other. Nino knew he loved his brother even despite the changes Kanata had grown through.  
  
He had to stop him. As his brother opened the door, Nino finally managed to say,  
  
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry Kanata. Sorry for being such a bad brother."  
  
 _His brother paused in the doorway, back faced towards Nino, and said,_  
  
 _"I waited... I waited for you to come back. But you didn't."__ He walked out.  
  
+++  
  
"They said it was a gang fight. My brother had been involved in it. I should have stopped him from walking out that door." Nino told Sho, with unreadable eyes.  
  
"I told myself, it was his fault. He didn't want to stop when I told him to. But the truth is... I didn't try hard enough. I was a bad brother to the end."  
  
Sho heard Aiba shift from outside. Aiba smiled apologetically at Sho, and pointed to his watch. He had to go for duty. Sho nodded slightly. Aiba left.  
  
"I went on for days, not knowing what I was doing. Not doing anything. Then... I tried it. I tried to kill myself, where my brother was found."  
  
Nino smiled bitterly. "It didn't work. Someone found me, and brought me to the hospital in time to save me."  
  
"So... I tried it again in the hospital. Which was a stupid thing, because you get discovered even more easily."  
  
"Then... what happened?"  
  
"They were considering whether I should be binded up, when the Madame stepped in. My parents didn't even come to see me, and yet a perfect stranger came up to me."  
  
"The Madame?"  
  
"She told me I was interesting, and that I should join under her. I refused of course." Nino paused. "Then she told me that she knew everything about me. Including my brother."  
  
Sho didn't say anything. Madame _would_ know everything.  
  
"She told me that... considering the hell that I've put my brother through... why am I trying to escape with it so easily?"  
  
Nino tooked out a photo from his drawer and passed it to Sho, who took it and looked at it. It was a photo of a much younger him, and an even younger boy, who must be his brother.  
  
"And then she told me, I could pay for my brother's sufferings by going through hell myself. And she would guide me to this hell. So... I joined. I thought I could amend for Kanata this way."  
  
"But yet again, you tried to kill yourself."  
  
"It was his birthday that day... I bought his favourite chocolate cake for him... talked to him." Nino pointed to the photo. "Told him about life at the Chateau... talked to him about you guys."  
  
Nino looked at Sho.  
  
"Then I realised... that life wasn't as hellish as it was at the start. That I've started to like being alive again. So I..." Nino looked down.  
  
 _So you felt guilty... you wanted to make it up to Kanata by suffering, but you realised that you've enjoyed yourself too much._  
  
Sho realised that he had underestimated Nino... as a normal person with feelings. Nino has always been so carefree and always had that I-couldn't-care-less attitude, that it was hard for people to see him any other way. To see that Nino might have troubles too.  
  
Sho knew that there must have been some sort of reason to have brought Nino to the Chateau, but he'd never really thought about it. Sho finally realised that he... and everyone else had been fooled by Nino's facade. It was all an act, to hide his real self.  
  
"Yes, I tried to kill myself again, leave this imitation hell, but it was a fluke. I couldn't even cut myself deep enough. Because... I couldn't leave you guys just yet. You... Aiba... the others.. and even the mysterious Matsumoto Jun." Sho could see how deeply ashamed and disappointed Nino was in himself. For letting his brother down even after death. _Idiot,_ he thought.  
  
Sho forced the photo backed into Nino's hand.  
  
"Are you really letting your brother down by living?"  
  
Nino looked at him.  
  
"This sounds pretty cheesy and cliche...but I don't think he'd mind it if you live Nino. You'd be living for him. Think about it."  
  
Sho patted Nino on his shoulder and walked out of the door, leaving Nino by himself.  
  
+++  
  
 _He'd forgotten it somehow, but now he recalled it. The police had delivered a very small package to him a few days after the body of his brother had been discovered in an alley. They said they found it in his pocket, but it was not really related to the crime; that it might be unimportant, but he might want to keep it anyway. He'd shoved it away, not wanting to see anything that reminds him of his brother._  
  
Now Nino walked to the small chest where he kept the few things he'd brought away with him when he left for the Chateau, just a bit lesser than a year ago. He opened it and took the small package out, unwrapping it slowly.  
  
It was a koala bear keychain, taped to a toothpick.  
  
He was glad no one was in the room to see him as he tasted the salty water that ran down his cheeks.  
  
 _Just for a little while,_ Nino thought, _Just let me cry for a little while._  
  
+++  
  
Sho was awakened by the sound of someone knocking on his door. Loudly. He got up, scratching his head, and trudged to the door. He opened it, and slightly surprised, found Nino standing outside his room.  
  
"Nino?"  
  
"What the heck are you doing, still asleep? Let's go!"  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"Go figure out a way to infiltrate the Root Wing, obviously."  
  
"Huh? You still want to do it?"  
  
"What? You don't?"  
  
"Well... I do... but..."  
  
"THEN? Come on, man. Go bathe. I'll wait for you at the cafe." He tossed a bun at Sho and turned away.  
  
Sho turned back towards his bed.  
  
"And thanks for yesterday." He heard a voice behind him say, barely audible, before the door slammed shut.  
  
  
+.+.+

Edited: Just for the hell of it, it's my sister's birthday and I bought cake for her. Chocolate cake. =D And I wasn't even thinking of Chateau when I bought it. HAHAHA.


	5. Root Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Sho felt as though someone was watching him, but when he turned around, the tables around them were empty and the only table that had people was the one he and Nino was sitting at._

Disclaimer: Arashi's not mine D: This story is purely fictional and is only meant for fans to read when they're bored. So enjoy^^

 

** Platinum Oleander Chateau **  
** ** Chapter 5:  _ Root Wing _ ** **   


  
Sho felt as though someone was watching him, but when he turned around, the tables around them were empty and the only table that had people was the one he and Nino was sitting at.  
  
He shook his head and frowned to himself, knowing that he was allowing his nerves to take over him and causing him to be jumpy, probably due to the fact that he was planning something that's highly against the rules.  
  
"Okay, here's the deal." Nino said, drawing back his attention.

The two men were sitting in the cafe of the Chateau, eating, while being engaged in a serious discussion.  
  
"Platinum Oleander Chateau keeps a database with all the information of its occupants. I suspect that these information were gained under any means by professionals working under the Madame. Basically, it's an internal database. This is where _I_ get information about anybody I want to know in here."  
  
"What? Is it easy to get access to that database?"  
  
Nino gave him a disgusted look.  
  
" _No_."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Only people like me can hack through that sort of system without the proper rights." The younger man couldn't seem to resist smiling a little smugly. "I've hacked into the Chateau's internal database for more information based on Matsumoto Jun. That's how I had whatever information I've given you before remember?"  
  
"Yes? But it didn't really say much right?"  
  
"Correct. Here, if you look," Nino brought out a laptop from his side, and placed it on the table, opening it. Sho briefly wondered where the laptop came from, before realising that Nino probably brought it along with him from home.  
  
 _He wasn't kidnapped,_ Sho thought bitterly for a brief moment, before his eyes swept across Nino's hand, where he still sports a wristband. Today, it was bright red with white stripes.  
  
He looked away guiltily, remembering the reason the younger man was wearing one in the first place, remembering how much the younger man had been suffering, and maybe still is.  
  
 _It doesn't matter even if he wasn't kidnapped._  
  
"Are you sure we're allowed to own stuff like that?" Sho asked him, pushing away the uncomfortable thoughts.  
  
"Huh? My laptop you mean? Nah, it's fine. I don't think there's any rules which disallows the owning of computers."  
  
"But you don't see it sold anywhere on the grounds, nor do we have computers in our wings."  
  
"So? This is my own possession, and nobody said I couldn't bring it." Nino said stubbornly."Anyway, forget about that. Here, look." Nino said impatiently as he pointed at his screen, not allowing Sho a chance to react.  
  
Deciding not to pursue the matter, Sho read through the profile page that was displayed.  
  
  
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||  
  
 _Name: Matsumoto Jun_  
 _ _Height: 173 cm_  
 _Blood Type: A-_  
 _Year of Birth....__  
  
And so it went, physical details of the younger man, until Sho reached the report detailing into Jun's past.  
  
 _Matsumoto Jun was borned as a healthy baby, a second child, to the Matsumoto family. Matsumoto Jun was reportedly a normal, slightly above average in intelligence child in his school._  
  
[#]  
  
 _After the incident, Matsumoto Jun kept mostly to himself, refusing to interact with others._  
  
 _ _The doctor that looked over him, placing him under observation for a whole week after the said incident, reported that his mental state had become highly unstable and that he had forgotten how to speak due to the trauma from the incident._  
  
 _He became more withdrawn, as reported by his former teachers. He was afraid of interaction. He would resort to violence at the slightest sign of hostile communication with anybody._  
  
 _Example Case: Several students were reportedly bullying him when they discovered him after school by the riverbank. It was suspected that they had tried to push him into the river, but the students denied doing so after interrogation._  
  
 _A passerby discovered a terrified group of students surrounding one of the boys who had initiated the bullying. He was covered in blood, nose broken, with several deep cuts and bruises on his body, and was sent to the hospital immediately after that. Teachers were notified of the incident. Matsumoto Jun was found near the scene, curled up under the bushes, the blood of the boy on his hands and on the piece of branch he was holding, identified by the hospital authorities afterwards.__  
  
 _Matsumoto Jun lived with his grandfather up until several months ago, in which his grandfather passed away and he was brought to live with his father's cousin's family._  
  
 _Reported by:_  
 _ _Investigator Osamu Mukai__  
  
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||  
  
Sho stared at the screen with disbelief at the thought that Matsumoto Jun injured someone to the point that blood was drawn. He'd never shown that much of violence as far as he knows. But that was the least of his worries. Something bothered him more.  
  
Sho read the report over, feeling dissatisfied. Something seems wrong here. Like...  
  
"Something's missing." He told Nino.  
  
"Right?" Nino agreed.  
  
"This... incident? They mentioned it once, but they didn't describe it."  
  
"No, they did." Nino contradicted him. Sho looked up at him.  
  
"See that extra symbol there, with the bracketed hex sign?" Nino jabbed his finger at the mentioned spot. "They did report on it, but someone took it out."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Heck if I know. I think... most likely, it was placed somewhere else. The bracketed hex is most likely some form of indication to refer it to somewhere else."  
  
"Oh, I get it. The info is located somewhere else?"  
  
"Yes, that's about right."  
  
"I wonder... what does it contain? Why must they separate a part of the report?"  
  
Nino looked at Sho and then back at the screen, clearly thinking.  
  
"I can only answer one of that." Pushing his laptop screen down, he faced Sho once more. "I think... The current database can be accessed by the lower levels of the Madame's admin staff."  
  
Sho nodded, urging him to continue.  
  
"I'm going to presume that whatever it is that is being kept hidden, is something that the Madame do not trust the lower levels to handle, or perhaps is something which is unnecessary for them to handle. Or maybe both."  
  
"Hmmm... I suppose that does make sense. But... where is the rest of the information placed then?"  
  
"Hah!" Nino exclaimed, catching Sho by surprise. "I found out-" Here Nino grins proudly, "that there is an even more remote, highly secured database than the one I've been accessing so far."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Seriously."  
  
"And how was it?"  
  
"It's going to be harder to access, I'm still trying even now, but I'm pretty sure, there are a lot of information going on in this other database. Other than what might be missing from Matsumoto's profile... maybe we can find out how to get into the Root Wing. Secret routes, etc?"  
  
Sho was about to say that might be a very good idea when someone interrupted him.  
  
"Can... Can I join you guys? Or is it one of those things you can't tell me?" They looked up. Aiba was standing there, a bit timidly, waiting for permission. Sho remembered the last time he tried to enter into a conversation with them, and felt guilty as he remembered how harsh he had been to Aiba. Now the tall guy was standing there, looking uncertainly at them. He must have felt left out.  
  
Sho felt even heavier as he looked at Aiba's anxious face. _Aren't you guys friends?_ Ohno's voice echoed in his mind yet again. He had meant with Aiba too.   
  
Aiba. Aiba was an entirely different entity from Nino. Unlike Nino, he wasn't someone Sho would feel safe with a secret. Aiba wasn't someone who was reliable enough for one to confide his problems with. And Aiba certainly wasn't the type of person Sho would look for if he wanted answers for certain matters.  
  
But Aiba was someone who could understand the atmosphere around him just as well as Nino could. Aiba was someone who would try his hardest to raise the spirits of those around him, unlike Nino, who'd do everything his own way. And Aiba, despite being oblivious most of the times, would turn pretty alert during the most important moments.  
  
And Aiba IS a friend.  
  
Sho wasn't really sure about their relations with each other, and he wasn't sure whether their friendship will last, and unsure about how much he can trust them yet but he realised that the things Nino knew, he felt like he wouldn't mind it if Aiba knew it too.  
  
He exchanged looks with Nino before nodding at Aiba.  
  
"Sure, have a seat."  
  
Aiba's face brightened up drastically.  
  
"Thanks!" He sat down beside Sho. "So... what were you guys talking about?"  
  
"Well... we're trying to get into the Root Wing but-"  
  
"Oh! Whatever for?"  
  
Nino looked at Sho, clearly interested; with a gleeful grin widening on his face which said that he was wondering how the older man is going to explain this one. Sho glared at him, and then turned to face Aiba.  
  
"It's Nino, he's the one who wanted-"  
  
"HEY!" Nino protested, clearly not expecting that answer. "You too-"  
  
"I can get you guys in."  
  
Both Sho and Nino jerked their heads towards Aiba. A short silence followed.   
  
"E-Eh?" Sho managed to stutter when the statement finally caught up with his brain, unsure whether he heard it correctly.  
  
Nino just stared at the other man, and then snorted in disbelief, continuing to slurp up his noodles with his chopsticks.    
  
"And how would you do that?" Nino challenged him.  
  
"Why do you guys need to get in there first? The real reason." Aiba countered. It was one of those rare times where Aiba was sharp.  
  
Nino kept his mouth shut, clearly waiting for Sho to reply to Aiba's question. Sho could feel his hands beginning to sweat as he scavenged his mind for an answer.  
  
  _Why? To meet Jun. But why? Why is it so important to meet him?_  
  
Sho searched for an answer in his head but he couldn't. He just wanted to.  
  
"I.. Well, we... wanted to find one of the occupants of the Wing."  
  
"What? Whatever for?"  
  
 _I don't know,_ Sho was tempted to say.  
  
"Tell me why we must answer that." Nino intercepted.  
  
"Because I can get you guys in. Didn't I already say that?" Aiba asked, a little exasperatedly.  
  
"What is that based on?"  
  
"Easy. I've been inside before."  
  
Both Sho and Nino stared at the tall man.  
  
"You're kidding." Sho said to Aiba, half-stating the statement, and half-asking.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"How WOULD you KNOW?" Nino asked, a little uncertainly.  
  
"Obviously! I was from Root Wing."  
  
Nino dropped his chopsticks.  
  
+++  
  
"Okay smart-ass, show me how you do it."  
  
Aiba glanced to his side at Nino, and smirked at him. _Smirked,_ Sho thought, amazed. Then he turned to look at Sho, seriously.  
  
"So it's really about the experiment guy. Matsumoto Jun." Sho didn't answer. He'd told Aiba about his intention of meeting Jun after all.  
  
They stood before the door of the Root Wing, waiting to see what Aiba would do.  
  
He started knocking once, then a few more times, and then to their chagrin, yelled out,  
  
"Hey guys! It's me!" And stepped back to wait.  
  
The three of them stood for a short while, but nothing happened.  
  
"What do you suppose that was?" Nino muttered to Sho under his breath.  
  
"Dunno?" Sho whispered back.  
  
Aiba tilted his head, puzzled.  
  
"Weird. Where-" The door opened, smoothly and silently. Two heads popped out from behind, peeking at them. They spotted Aiba and grinned at him.  
  
"Aiba! It's really you!" One of them spoke with a thick Kansai accent.  
  
"Yo! Took you long enough to open up." Aiba raised his hand and grinned back.  
  
"Dude! You didn't visit at all after you left, bastard!" The other one said.  
  
"Sorry, sorry Kazama! I was really occupied."  
  
"Uh huh. Like we believe you. Come in, you're attracting too much attention outside." Then the two men finally realised the presence of Sho and Nino.  
  
"Wait, who are they?"  
  
"Them? Oh. That's Nino and Sho, my friends. Don't worry, they're tame. Can we come in or not?"  
  
"HAH! As expected of the Nectar Wing." Sho stiffened. Well, he supposed that the other wings _would_  disapprove of the Nectar Wing men for bowing their heads to the Madame, but it was still unpleasant.  
  
Aiba frowned at them. "Don't look down on them will you? They're still my friends, alright? And I'm part of the Nectar Wing too remember?"  
  
The one with the Kansai accent sighed and pointed them in.  
  
"Alright, got it, come on in guys."  
  
+++  
  
It turns out that the two men were appointed caretakers of the Root Wing. The wing itself was very small, maybe around the size of a family apartment. From just glancing around, Sho estimated around 4 rooms in the wing, Jun must be in one of them.  
  
"So, you are here to see our Matsumoto Jun?" The one with the Kansai dialect asked him.  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"What business would you have with him? You know he's crazy right?"  
  
"Crazy? Oh, so that's what's wro-" Aiba started, but was cut off by Sho.  
  
"He's NO- I mean, he's not as crazy as you think."  
  
"Is that right? Well, according to our records, he's dead serious crazy."  
  
Sho bit his lower lip to prevent himself from retorting.  
  
"Oh don't pick on him Yoko. That's not nice." Aiba reprimanded him, although not in a harsh way. Yoko grinned, showing his teeth.  
  
"Wait, you're Sakurai Sho right?" The one named Kazama was looking at him closely. "The guy who's always getting it with our boy."  
  
"G-getting it?"  
  
"Yeah, you know. The Den."  
  
"Ah.. yes, that's me."  
  
"Oh!" Yoko interrupted. "The one who managed to tame him?" He was looking at Sho with more interest now.  
  
Kazama grinned and leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper.  
  
"How was our boy? Wild enough?"  
  
Sho could feel his face threatening to turn red, but resisted, turning away from him.  
  
"How did you do it anyway?" Yoko interrupted, his face back to being unfriendly. "It took us every single damned day for a few damn weeks just to get him used to our presence. And yet he lets you touch him on your first meeting?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"Suspicious!"  
  
"I suppose it really is strange after all." Nino had a look on his face which said he was definitely curious about it. "I think I really have to see this guy..."  
  
"Why are you guys that interested in him?" Aiba asked.  
  
"Why? You don't know?" The one called Kazama looked incredulously at Aiba." This guy rejected and pretty much sent any guy in the den performances straight to the hospital. Except for this Sho guy. Heck, even I'm curious just of that."  
  
"Ahh... Strange indeed. Wait, hospital??"  
  
+++  
  
Yoko and Kazama had directed them to and unlocked Jun's door, and opened it, beckoning Sho in.

He thought it might probably be just him, but what he saw took his breath away.  
  
A young man stood by a window, curtains dancing gently with the breeze. The man was fair, clad in a light yellow turtleneck, and faded jeans, standing barefooted as he watched, perhaps the sky outside his window, through the out-of-place iron grilles that barred it.  
  
It was just like a painting, just as if time had stopped moving.  
  
Sho stood still as he continued to watch this man whom he had started to call Jun. That is, until Nino shoved him in.  
  
“Don’t block the way.”  
  
Sho stumbled inside the room, making enough noise to startle Jun, and causing him to turn around swiftly.  
  
“Idiot!” Sho hissed back at Nino. He turned to Jun again, who'd stepped away from the window, blinking at him. Perhaps he's puzzled to see someone other than his usual guards in his room. Sho felt a slight wrench in his heart.  
  
 _How long will it take for him to remember me this time?_  
  
“Umm..,” Sho suddenly realized he’d never thought what he might have wanted to say on meeting Jun. He just knew that he wanted to see the other man, that’s all. His palms began to sweat with cold panic.  
  
But the other man was already approaching him as he tried to figure out what to say, and before he knew it, Jun was standing closely in front of him, peeking into his face. Sho’s heart started beating a little more quickly.  
  
“I… We… came to see yo-,” Sho’s sentence was interrupted midway as a warm forehead brought itself to meet Sho’s, catching him by surprise.  
  
He hadn't expected him to recognise him this quickly.  
  
He took a deep breath, pressed back, letting its calming effects work on Sho as it did every time. For a moment, he stood quietly, their foreheads pressed together.  
  
Jun finally drew his forehead away from Sho, looking at Sho directly in the eyes. Sho found his chest tightening. The other man smiled at him, a glowing, sincere, happy smile, throwing Sho off-guard.  
  
The younger man took Sho by his hands, and Sho let him lead him over to sit down on his bed. For a moment, both of them just looked at each other, flustered, and yet not looking away, as if they were trying to absorb the image of the other, just being there right in front of one another. Sho thought that Jun seemed to be waiting for something, looking at him expectantly, but he couldn't understand what it might be.  
  
The younger man broke away from the eye contact first, and seemed to be hesitating for a while. Wondering what is causing the young man to be in that state, Sho reached out and touched the other man's cheek, trying to smile at him reassuringly.  
  
Almost as if he thought Sho was giving his approval by doing so, he leaned in towards Sho and after a little pause of uncertainty, started kissing him on the neck, and down on his collarbones, a little nervously, with his trembling lips. The older man couldn't help it that his heart started beating most erratically at the moment. It was a quiet moment, but Sho could hear his heart beating loudly in his eardrums.  
  
So this was why the man was looking so expectantly. He thought it was another one of their Den performance? Was he wondering why Sho didn't do anything? Did he think he was supposed to start it instead?  
  
 _This man is dangerous,_ he told himself. _Dangerous..._ But he couldn't help but respond to the other man's advances. He let Jun's fingers explore his neckline lightly, and gave in.  
  
 _No... there's no way a man like this can be dangerous..._  
  
He almost got pulled into the flow, lifting his own hand to comb through Jun's hair, as the other man fumbled with the buttons on Sho's shirt, but as he moved in accordance to Jun, he caught sight of Nino and Aiba from the corner of his eyes, standing by the door. He jolted sharply and pushed Jun away, not unkindly.  
  
"It's-! It's alright. You don't have to do it with me in your room you know?" He could see the younger man looking a bit confused, tilting his head slightly, and staring back at him with wide questioning eyes. He resisted the urge that was telling him to continue and looked away as he buttoned his shirt back up properly, feeling his face turn hot red at the thought of Nino and Aiba seeing them that way.  
  
"Really, we don't have to do it at all, except in the Den."  
  
The younger man still seemed puzzled.  
  
"It's okay Sho. You may continue if you want," Nino said, grinning most wickedly. "I would love to see the star performance that has made you even more popular lately."  
  
Aiba, for some reason had gone slightly red, Sho could see his ears and neck blushing.  
  
"That... that was. I don't know- That made me feel funny." He admitted. "Not in a bad way of course!" He added quickly.  
  
"Oh shut up, both of you." Sho told them, feeling his cheeks turning even hotter. He turned back to Jun, who was staring at Nino and Aiba.  
  
"Ah J-.... Here. These are my-... these are Nino and Aiba. We came to see you." Sho wondered why he found it difficult to say the words 'Jun' and 'friends'. It was a bit embarrassing, somehow.  
  
"Nice to meet you!" Aiba smiled and bowed a little. Nino walked over to Jun, and stood by the bed, looking at him from a slightly higher point of view.  
  
"So you are Matsumoto Jun..."  
  
Nino held out a hand towards Jun, obviously meaning to shake hands with him. The other man stared at the hand stonily, and then drew back a little, moving in closer behind Sho, catching hold of one of his sleeves.  
  
"Huh. I don't think he likes me Sho."  
  
Sho wasn't quite sure why, and he thought it might be a bit mean, but he felt the slightest bit pleased at that statement, or maybe the hand on his sleeve, and suppressed a small smile.  
  
"It's alright, Nino's okay once you get to know him." Sho patted Nino's back with his free hand as he tried to tell Jun that over his shoulder. Sho sensed Jun giving Nino a look, Sho couldn't quite see it; that made Nino step back a little.  
  
"He definitely doesn't like me. Huh. Hmmmm." Nino seemed to be contemplating over something, and then glanced at Sho before looking at Jun again. After what seems to be a moment of thought however, he grinned.  
  
"Okay." Nino said.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
Nino straightened up and looked at Jun directly in the eyes, ignoring Sho.  
  
"You, my man, have a problem alright."  
  
+++  
  
Sho was sure somebody was watching him. But every time he turned, he couldn't see anyone. He wanted to think that he was just imagining things but his mind kept spawning uncomfortable thoughts. _Stalker?_ Or worse, _Madame's spies?_  
  
He tugged his grey coat a little tighter, it being a cold, grey day, as he rushed towards Ohno's bakery.  
  
"Oh welcome!" greeted the warm familiar voice. Sho relaxed a little.  
  
"Hey there Boss. I'm here to hang out."  
  
Ohno lifted an eyebrow as he looked inquiringly at Sho.  
  
"Hang out? That's rare. You're not here to buy anything?"  
  
The other man laughed.  
  
"Ah well. It's Clearing-Out day tomorrow."  
  
"Eh? What's that?"  
  
"You don't know?" Sho was surprised for a moment before he remembered. "Oh. That's right. You haven't even been here a year. How weird, it feels like you've been here so long."  
  
"It feels like that too for me." Ohno smiled. "But... what is this day you're talking about? You guys spring-clean?"  
  
Sho laughed again, walked inside and leaned against the counter.  
  
"Nope. It's the day where Madame spring-cleans US."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"She evaluates us in the Nectar Wing for the past few months and then she throws away the useless ones."  
  
Sho glanced at Ohno, and was surprised to see that Ohno had paled a little.  
  
"Throws away? Meaning..."  
  
"Ah... I'm not so sure what happens to the thrown away ones but we've never seen them again." He said it calmly, but in his heart, he was afraid, perhaps even terrified.  
  
Ohno went quiet. Sho thought that perhaps the man looked a little worried. It warmed his heart a little at that thought.  
  
"You guys. You guys will be fine." Ohno said.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
"You're sure what, Captain?" A new voice interrupted. Nino. He grinned at them.  
  
"Ah, Nino. Welcome!"  
  
"Well, it's rare for us to meet up here huh Sho? Especially with you getting busy again?"  
  
"Well, you're busy too." Sho replied.  
  
Someone chuckled. They both turned to look. Ohno.  
  
"What, why are you laughing Boss?"  
  
"Well, it's just. It's the first time I see the two of you together. It feels kind of weird, but also kind of like dejavu."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"How each of you always talk of the other, like you know each other so well, and yet, I've never seen proof of that. I've been wondering whether I was just under the illusion that you two knew each other after all. Now all that's left is Aiba."  
  
Sho wasn't sure how to respond to that. He just didn't know how to. He'd never thought about it. But it was true, they'd never been to Ohno's place together, but it's like Ohno is already a part of them.  
  
"Why are you here Sho?"  
  
"Just... hanging out."  
  
"Are you sure you're that free?"  
  
"Well... I have Ballroom duty later."  
  
"Hmmmmm. Well, okay then, have fun with your duty." Nino told him with a smile that made him feel unsettled.  
  
"Why are you here then?"  
  
"Me? I'm here to buy something for your pet."  
  
Sho blinked at him, looking confused. "Huh? What pet?"  
  
"Yes, what? I thought the Chateau doesn't allow animals?" Ohno asked, interested, from the other side of the counter.  
  
Nino grinned.  
  
"It's purely metaphoric. I'm referring to something that seems to belong solely to Sho. Only Sho's."  
  
Sho shot him an alarmed look. He'd figured out what Nino meant.  
  
"It's quite a challenge, but I'm trying to tame him."  
  
"Tame?"  
  
"Sh-shut up Nino!" Sho said, risking a glance at Ohno, who seemed all the more confused, yet fascinated.  
  
"Give me your best chocolate bun, Captain. Let's see whether I can bait him through his stomach."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"...What are you guys talking about, really?"  
  
+++  
  
He didn't realise that he was being followed until too late. He was worrying over the fact that Nino might have gone to meet Jun alone.  
  
Just as he turned a corner, walking back from Ballroom duty when an arm wrapped around his neck from behind, dragged him backwards, then turned him over, slamming him against a wall in a hidden corner.  
  
Temporarily stunned for a moment, Sho stared at his assailant. The man was definitely a lot older than him, maybe in his late 40s or so. Huge, burly guy, with ripped muscles.  
  
Sho tried to tell himself that he was overthinking it, but part of him tells him that this man, with his most unpleasant eyes was looking at Sho with a distinctively creepy, hungry manner. He confirmed it when the man licked his lips as he looked fully at Sho from top to bottom, causing Sho's hair to stand on the back of his neck.

"I've been watching you, Mr Top of The Dens. Heard about you so I thought I should check up on you."  
  
"W-what do you want? Who are you?"  
  
The older man sniggered.  
  
"Isn't it obvious what I want?" He rested his large hand against Sho's thigh. Sho shook it off as he stepped away. A hand blocked his escape, quick as flash.  
  
"Stop it." Sho snapped, feeling a chill run up his spine as he did so. "You're going against the rules. I'm under Madame's protection."  
  
The man threw his heard backwards and laughed, as if it was the funniest thing he'd heard.  
  
"Oh right. The rules! Oh yeah, wouldn't want the Madame to get angry at me for touching one of her precious top boys. Still..." He ran his hand down Sho's arm. Sho froze.  
  
"Pity... such delicious youthfulness...Pity... Oh well, orders are orders." He gave Sho one last glance before he walked away.  
  
Sho could feel his knees threatening to give way beneath him, his insides cold with fear. He could tell that this was a man he couldn't fight even if he'd given it all he got. _Who was that?_ He thought. Then he remembered the conversation he had heard a while ago in the cafe. Something about a new guy being really into it?  
  
 _This guy?_ He didn't realise that he'd be this creepy. _Another of Madame's ideas?_ But he'd stopped short when Sho mentioned the rules, meaning that he was compliant to obey Madame.  
  
It was one of the rare times when Sho felt saved by Madame's rules. _The top performers of the Den are under Madame's protection from external harm._ By ‘external’ it means any other people besides Madame.  
  
Still, Sho hoped that he would never meet that guy again. Never.  
  
  
  
+.+.+


	6. River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sho could clearly remember the way the big man looked at him, the way he touched him.  
>   
>  _Disgusting._  
>   
>  Sho shuddered as he laid wide awake on his bed. He could still see the man's smirk in his mind's eyes. He could see the man already simulating his acts towards Sho in his head. How he would enjoy it. Sho shook his head violently, clutching his arms.  
>   
>  _Disgusting. Disgusting! How can a man think that of another man..._  
>   
>  Then, as if struck by lightning, Sho sat up straight.  
>   
>  Was _he_ disgusting too? For Sho to find pleasure while being with a man. With Jun.  
>   
>  _ _Was he?__  
>   
> 

Disclaimer: ~~I own Sakumoto.~~ Arashi's not mine.

**Platinum Oleander Chateau**  
 ****Chapter 6: River** **

Sho could clearly remember the way the big man looked at him, the way he touched him.  
  
 _Disgusting._  
  
Sho shuddered as he laid wide awake on his bed. He could still see the man's smirk in his mind's eyes. He could see the man already simulating his acts towards Sho in his head. How he would enjoy it. Sho shook his head violently, clutching his arms.  
  
 _Disgusting. Disgusting! How can a man think that of another man..._  
  
Then, as if struck by lightning, Sho sat up straight.  
  
Was _he_ disgusting too? For Sho to find pleasure while being with a man. With Jun.  
  
 _ _Was he?_  
  
 _+++__

_They told him that he had lost his memories, and that he was currently mentally unstable. The meaner ones told him he was just plain crazy._

_But he wasn’t._

_Does not being able to speak suddenly make him a mad person? Does being afraid of everyone around him count as being crazy? Does not being to help it when his body reacted instinctively when people approach him and shrink away count as being crazy? Does fighting back against those who try to hurt him count as being crazy?_

Does his heart, beating in fear every moment of every day count as being crazy? Does it count when he sees shadows lurking in the corners of his eyes, waiting for the chance to pounce onto him?

Does seeing the cruelty and the harm that other people wish upon him count?

  _He knows it. Everyone wanted to see him suffering in pain if not dead. That was all. He could see it in their expressions._ Every one of them. _Humans are a danger to him. But no matter how hard he tried to escape them, they would bring him back. Every single time._

__Then came one human, the one  that once took him by the hand, saying in his low, comforting voice,_ _

_"There, there, everything will be alright. Come with me."_  
  
 _Even the warm human had never told him what happened before he could remember._  
  
 _"You've lost your memories, my child, so let's start afresh, okay?" was all the man  told him._  
  
 _That man took care of him everyday; raised him with care and love, teach him what could be taught, trained his body and mind, and played together with him. He convinced him that the shadows were just a part of his mind's illusions, that they weren't real. He told him that nobody was out there to harm him._

_That there was nothing to be scared of._  
  
 _Slowly, the shadows around faded away, bit by bit, even though they came back from time to time, allowing his fears to waive off slightly. He began to see the good humans again, although there were many bad ones that remain, some insulting him, some trying to harm him._

_But he thought that he would try again and again until people would stop calling him crazy. He wanted to make the warm old man proud of him._  
  
 _But, that man had moved on ahead of him. His grandfather had left him alone. The shadows started to come back again, haunting him in both his wake and sleep, this time chanting vicious whispers, sneering, mocking him, telling him that he should die._

_The humans too, were worse than before. It was as if the shadows had merged with their souls. They laughed spitefully at him, mocked him and hurt him. He tried telling himself that it was all an illusion and yet… the pain was excruciatingly real._  
  
Help me, Grandpa. Help... Someone. Anyone.  
  
Help me.  
  
+++  
  
Ohno hadn't expected to see Sho and Nino back in his shop so soon from their last visit. Usually, it would take either of them at least a few weeks to come visit him. Yet this time, only two days passed by since the day Nino bought the bun to 'tame Sho's pet'. The day before their clearing-out day. They grinned at him as they entered the shop, this time along with Aiba.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
"Sup Ohno!" Aiba greeted him happily as he bounded up to the counter ahead of the other two.  
  
"All of you..." Ohno's voice trailed off when he realised he wasn't sure of what to say. He never imagined that he would get to see the three of them together in his shop before. Not really. It was somehow an impressive sight.  
  
"We're all here just to show you we're still alive, hehe." Aiba continued, patting Ohno's arm from across the counter.  
  
Ohno couldn't help but smile. He _had_ been worrying about them throughout yesterday, wondering if they would be  safe, wondering whether any of them might be gotten rid of. Wondering if he'd be able to see them again.  
  
 _It's strange,_ he thought. He didn't know when he started feeling like he needed to watch over these three and why he felt that way. All he knew was that somehow, without realising it, he'd begun to worry over them, begun to be anxious when it seemed like any of them were in trouble.  
  
He couldn't explain it, but at the moment, the sight of the three of them seemed to reassure that worried corner in his heart, and he felt a sense of relief settling in the spot where the weight had lifted up.  
,   
"That's good," he answered. "I'm glad."  
  
"See now, you've got nothing to worry about Captain," Nino told him as he approached Ohno. Sho nodded from where he was. The baker couldn't help but think with a pleasant realization,  _They were worried about me being worried?_  
  
"Yup." He beamed at them in agreement.   
  
+++  
  
Sho observed Ohno's face and nodded with satisfaction to himself. _That's good, he's not worried anymore._  
  
"So," Ohno was talking to Nino, "How did your taming plan turn out? Did ummm... Jun I think was his name, give in?" Both Sho and Nino froze. Slowly, Sho turned to look at Nino accusingly, who shook his head. He didn't know how Ohno knew about it. Sho turned to Aiba instead, stonily. Aiba backed away a little, face turning red.  
  
"I... I thought it would be okay if it was Ohno."  
  
"You..." Sho began.  
  
"Don't be mad at him, Sho." Ohno intervened quietly. "I thought it might be that person anyway. All I asked Aiba for was the name."  
  
"Huh. So Ohno knows about your mad man?" Nino asked Sho, sharp as always. Sho couldn't help it, and shifted his eyes away.  
  
"Well... yes...."  
  
"Huh. Then you can't really accuse Aiba much."  
  
"Shut up." Sho muttered under his breath, still not looking at either of them. He briefly wondered whether he should have told Ohno about how Jun seems to bother him, and then dismissed it. It was his own decision to tell Ohno after all.  
  
"So how did it go?"  
  
Nino grinned at Ohno.  
  
"I didn't go."  
  
"Eh?" Ohno blinked at him, confused. "But you bought..."  
  
"I ate that." Nino gave Sho a quick, not-so-subtle side-glance. "I figured _someone_ wouldn't appreciate it. So I'll have to go with a companion or so."  
  
The older man narrowed his eyes at the younger, who smirked slightly.  
  
"Ahh... I see..." Ohno said.  
  
"Wanna go with me?" Aiba offered cheerfully to Nino. "The guys scolded me the other time, so now I have to show you guys something."  
  
"Show us something?" Sho asked.  
  
+++  
  
 _Someone was drowning in the river. He didn't know who it was, but there was definitely a lone figure in the water, clearly struggling for his life._  
  
 _ _"Quick! Help him someone!" He shouted at the group of people who was nearer to the drowning person, but no one seemed to be helping. The figure was getting further away and more desperate. Could they not see him?_  
  
 _There was no helping it. He had to do something, fast. He kicked off his shoes and dived into the water.__  
  
+++  
  
"Why are we in the kitchens Aiba?" Sho asked, sometime later. Nino nodded, biting into the pastry he had bought, mouth too occupied to say anything worth hearing.  
  
"Hush, just follow me." They walked through the kitchens, but instead of heading to where the staircase leads up to the Wings, he brought them to a secluded corner inside the kitchen.  
  
"Here we are!  
  
Aiba stopped and pointed at something. The other two looked.  
  
There seemed to be a dark narrow opening in the wall there which would have slipped their vision completely had Aiba not pointed it out.  
  
"Oh Aiba! Haven't seen you for a while!" A comfortably fat, jolly-looking chef was sitting near the opening, peeling fresh onions, tossing the skin into a green bucket, and the peeled onions themselves into a metal bowl on a table nearby.  
  
"Hey, Chef Tomo!" Aiba greeted back. "How's your back? Still aching?"  
  
"Always has been! It's all this peeling and cooking I tell you! How are you, boy? Still not in favor with Madame?"  
  
"Haha! She gave up on me, I think."  
  
Sho found himself amazed at Aiba's capability to interact with people. Even if Sho talks to the chefs and waiters in the kitchens, he'd never gotten close enough to them for them to learn anything much about him. He didn't want them to, anyway. But Aiba, Aiba was so open, so unafraid to be with people, no matter who they are.  
  
"Anyway, what brings you here? I haven't seen you using this way in a while. And..." His eyes turned to Sho and Nino, suddenly sharp in contrast to the friendly feeling he had been giving out, in a way that made Sho wonder whether this man was just a chef. "Who are they?" His voice had become low.  
  
Sho gulped. Nino stopped eating.  
  
"Ah, they are the reason I'm using this way. I'm taking responsibility for them." Aiba told him, unaware of the others' discomfort. Aiba went closer to Chef Tomo. Sho bit down the impulse to yell at Aiba stay away from the chef, and the sharp knife he was holding onto.  
  
"I need a favour, Chef." Aiba continued.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can you tell the others about them too? Just an exception for these two? Please?"  
  
"I'm not sure I can allow that Aiba." His voice had become forbidding.  
  
"Please Chef? Pleaseeee?" Aiba was turning on his charm, Sho observed.  Aiba rarely uses his inner charm because he had no real need for it so far.  
  
"Look- I don't think-"  
  
"Your wife doesn't allow you anything sweet right?"  
  
"Are you trying to bribe me boy?"  
  
"I'll buy you anything you like next time. Anything."  
  
Sho and Nino could see the chef's will shaking. Aiba's charm was at full strength now.  
  
"Pleasseeee? You are surely kind, I know."  
  
The older man then made a sulky face.  
  
"GAH! Fine. I will consider it."  
  
"Yay! You're a great man, you know!" Aiba gave the old man a hug. "I'll keep my promise for sure! Can we go in now?"  
  
"Go." The old man still looked sulky, but it was the kind of sulk which you know wasn't real. Sho and Nino bowed to the Chef, awed by Aiba's power still as they walked past the old man, following Aiba into the opening.  
  
As they walked down a dimly-lit corridor, Nino managed to say,  
  
"Alright Aiba, I guess you're useful at times too."  
  
"Hehe. I know." Came Aiba's voice from in front.  
  
"So where are we going?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
He turned down a corner, which turned out to be a set of steep, narrow staircase.  
  
"Come on up."  
  
Sho and Nino looked at each other, before Nino climbed up the stairs carefully, and Sho followed.  
  
"Who was that anyway Aiba? And where the heck are we going?"  
  
"Chef Tomo? He's a chef... but he's also one of the people who is set to keep watch on that passage. Secretly."  
  
"Keep watch? Why? Where does this go to?" Sho asked.  
  
"Wait and see."  
  
They climbed the staircase carefully before shortly reaching the top. At the top of the staircase was a landing with a door.  
  
"Okay, lets see whether its unlocked." Aiba said. He turned the doorknob. The door opened, letting a stream of light through, lighting up the staircase. "Alright!" He disappeared through the door. Nino quickly followed him, while Sho still carefully climbed up the staircase, afraid of tripping and falling.  
  
He came out inside...  
  
"Root Wing?" He blurted out.  
  
They were in the common room of Root Wing. Kazama was standing there, talking to Aiba. Nino was looking at the doorway in which Sho just came through.  
  
"What the heck Aiba?" Nino said, interrupting his talk with Kazama. "Damn, and I thought that door leads to just another room. There's another way in? Why weren't we told of this?"  
  
"I can explain." Kazama said. "This route is not supposed to be used by anyone except the caretakers of the Root Wing. To get in and out."  
  
"But Aiba- But we just-" Sho wasn't quite sure how to say it.  
  
"Yeah, Aiba found out about it during the time he stayed here. He kept sneaking out and giving us trouble."  
  
"Why don't you guys lock it?"  
  
"It locks from the inside. Anyway, Aiba always comes back from his little trips, so we decided to just leave it unlocked for him. He's quite obedient huh?"  
  
"Why is it so easy?" Sho asked Kazama. It troubled him at how easy it was to get into the Wing. "The Root Wing is not supposed to be accessible to anyone right? Yet there's a route which leads from the kitchens with barely anyone guarding it. And your door is unlocked.  
  
"Barely anyone guarding it?" Kazama snorted. "You've seen Chef Tomo right?"  
  
"Y-yeah...But..."  
  
"Chef Tomo may be only one old man, but he can kill all of you with a butter knife in one shot."  
  
Sho thought about it. He remembered the sharp eyes, and the way he held the knife in his hand earlier. He might just believe it.  
  
"But he's still only one man." Nino argued.  
  
Kazama and Aiba looked at each other and laughed.  
  
"Yes, and he's a chef. So the question is, how many chefs are there in the kitchen total?" Kazama asked.  
  
Sho tried tracing back to all the chefs he had ever talked to, wondering why he needed to count them. Then it hit him.  
  
"You don't mean... All of them..."  
  
"Yes, they all have the side job of guarding this one route here."  
  
"And they have knives. And other things." Aiba added. "Chef Tomo seems to be the best though."  
  
"Dude, Aiba, how did you make out of it alive?" Nino asked.  
  
"Eh? It took me a few tries and many long conversations before he deemed me trustworthy enough to be let out and return again."  
  
"But isn't that breaking rules or something?" Sho asked him.  
  
Kazama sighed.  
  
"We're all still human right? We need a break once in a while. As humans, all of us understand that well enough, even the kitchen staff. And Aiba provides us with lots of entertainment so its all good and fine."  
  
"We need a lil' thrill once in a while ya know? Breaking against rules and that sort of crap." A new voice interrupted. They turned. It was Yoko, grinning.  
  
Sho's heart almost stopped when he realised that Jun was standing beside him... in a bathrobe? His subconscious mind had already been anticipating meeting Jun again ever since he stepped into the wing.  
  
It wasn't good enough, the last time when he went in with Nino and Aiba. They had to get out there as fast as they came when they realised that they had Ballroom duty due very shortly. Sho had left reluctantly, wishing he could at least talk a little with Jun.  
  
Right now, the younger man was staring at them with round eyes, his hair wet, water trailing down his face. But then his eyes stopped on Sho, and Sho knew at once that he recognised him. He wondered if Jun was going to approach him but Yoko's hand on his elbow seemed to be holding him in place. Yoko's other hand appeared to be holding some clothes.  
  
"Where were you guys going?"  
  
"Not where we were going, rather, where were we coming from." Yoko corrected Aiba.  
  
"Yoko went to help our man with bathing, ya know?" Kazama told them. "Him not being stable and all... We take turns."  
  
Sho wondered why he felt his own blood draining from his face.  
  
"Take turns? Help bath? You guys?"  
  
Sho tried hard not to imagine how the men helped Jun bathe. He didn't notice the thoughtful smirk forming on Nino's face at the moment.  
  
"Yeah. Why do you think he's this clean? Cos we help him with everything obviously!" Yoko told him. "Even shaving."  
  
 _Even shaving?_  
  
"Why Sho, you look kinda pale," Nino said in a very quiet voice so that only Sho could hear. "What's the matter?" And then he grinned. "You want to help him bathe too?"  
  
Sho felt like smacking him, but resisted the urge. He knew that even though he wasn't sure why Nino was always insinuating these sort of things, he still flowed along with Nino anyway. Or perhaps he knew it, just didn't want to admit it to himself.  
  
He looked at Jun again, who was still staring at him. He was prepared to bet that if Yoko let go of that elbow, Jun would come to him. He didn't know what to think if that happens. Not that it matters, since Yoko began tugging Jun back into his room.  
  
He balled his fists. Lately, something had been bothering his train of thoughts.  
  
 _ _It's too weird.__ The way he was thinking at the moment was not the way any rational man should think. _It's not normal._  
  
"I'm going to help him get dressed now. You guys are here to see him right? Wait a little while more okay? Come, Jun."  
  
They stared as the two disappeared into Jun's room, Jun still staring back at him. Kazama said,  
  
"Well, we say helping and all, but really all we do is just guide him. Like, pass the clothes to him, he'll change himself, or just make sure he undress and then enters the cubicle, and he'll shower himself. That sort of thing."  
  
Sho turned his face away from Nino, so that the younger man wouldn't be able to see what kind of expression his face might betray of him, as he sighed inwardly in relief.  
  
 _It's not normal._  
  
+++  
  
Sho stepped into Jun's room. The younger man turned around at the stop and smiled at him. Yoko just stood aside and watched him as he walked towards Sho unhesitatingly, whom readied himself for their usual greeting.  
  
Nino stepped in between, causing Jun to halt in his path, and stared at him, up to down. He stared back, looking puzzled at Nino's appearance.  
  
"Nino?" Sho asked from behind him. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Shhh!" came the response. Nino turned back to Jun, and without saying a word, eyes still on Jun, held out a hand. The other man stared at the hand warily.  
  
"It's a handshake. You do this when you meet people for the first time. Well, it's not our first time but let's shake." Nino stated slowly. _What, he's not using food to bribe him after all?_  Sho thought, a little surprised. _He's mature after all. Kind of, anyway._ Jun stared at the hand still.  
  
"Help me out a bit here," Nino directed at Sho. Sho moved in a little closer. Jun looked at him.  
  
"It's okay." Gently, Sho lifted Jun's hand and placed it in Nino's, his hand over theirs as he guided them to shake.  
  
"I'm Nino. Nice to meet you." Nino smiled, a genuine smile. Jun dropped Nino's hand and then stared at his own hand before looking back at Nino. He didn't smile, but at least that was some form of progress, Sho thought. Nino stepped away so that Sho could move up to Jun. He was still staring at his hand in what seems to be wonder.  
  
Sho took hold of the hand carefully and brought it up to his cheek.  
  
I'm here, he wanted to say to Jun. The younger man looked up at him, then looked at Sho's own hand, before placing his hand on top of Sho's, lightly rubbing their palms together in a circular manner. Sho clasped their hands together and gave them a little shake. Jun stared at them, eyes lit with curiousity.  
  
"Are you that fascinated by a handshake?" Sho asked him, a little amused. Jun looked at him and smiled a little.  
  
"Maybe he never shook hands with anyone before?" Aiba asked from behind. Jun looked past Sho at Aiba, a little taken aback, as if seeing him for the first time. Maybe it _was_  his first time really seeing Aiba. Jun looked at Nino, Sho and then his hand, before starting to walk, a little at a time, towards Aiba.  
  
And then he held his hand out towards Aiba, shaking slightly. Aiba looked at it, mouth slightly opened, before he flashed a grin and took his hand to shake it.  
  
"Nice to meet you too! Jun, yes?"  
  
Jun retreated quickly, and Sho caught hold of his elbow, causing the man to swing around to meet his eyes. Sho told him, feeling a little proud somehow,  
  
"Good! That's good, Jun!" The younger man seemed glad to see Sho's pleased reaction. He looked down, a little shyly.  
  
Nino clapped lightly, while Aiba followed up with the same action a split second later.  
  
"Well, whaddya know, I make an excellent teacher."  
  
Sho hated to admit it, but Nino had made much better progress than the first time he met Jun, and he knew that he shouldn't begrudge Nino for that small achievement, so he gave Nino a nod and a smile.  
  
"Fine, you win this round, Nin-" Sho was interrupted mid-sentence when Jun finally greeted him their usual way. He could hear Yoko exclaiming, "Is that normal?!" to Nino and Aiba, and found his attention straying away a little.  
  
"Think so," he faintly heard Aiba say.  
  
"Normal for them, yeah." Nino was saying.  
  
"That's normal?!"  
  
"Shut up will you?"  
  
"But-"  
  
 _It's not normal._  
  
Sho was about to open his mouth to talk, although he wasn't quite sure what to say, his face already turned towards them, but then, a pair of hands turned his face back, demanding his attention. And then Sho did something he thought he would never do. He pulled away.  
  
The face which looked back at him changed to an expression of surprise and hurt, causing Sho to feel a twinge of guilt and regret. He couldn't bear to see that kind of look on the other man's face.  
  
"S-sorry. Here, let's do it again, okay?" He positioned himself again as he said that to the other man, who blinked and then smiled. Sho didn't pull away again as he allowed himself to be drawn towards the other man. He would stop thinking, at least for that moment.  
  
Nino watched them.  
  
+++  
  
When Sho returned back to his room later, he curled up onto his bed, and laid there unmoving for a very long time.  
  
+++  
  
"Are you serious about him?" Nino asked Sho as he put on his outfit for Ballroom. Currently they were in the Ballroom's changing room, Nino having already finished changing and now facing Sho.  
  
"What are you talking about Nino?"  
  
"About that guy. Jun. Are you serious about him?"  
  
Sho buttoned the cuff on one sleeve in silence for a while before he asked,  
  
"What do you mean, am I serious?"  
  
Nino sighed, Sho sensed, a little exasperatedly.  
  
"What is Matsumoto Jun to you? You're not that dumb Sho."  
  
Sho buttoned the cuff on the other sleeve, eyes not meeting Nino's.  
  
"...You're not making sense Nino. We're... both men. What sort of answer are you expecting?"  
  
"An honest answer. What is he to you? You and him-"  
  
Sho felt hot anger rush into his head. _Why is this man so persistent? Why must he butt into my business?_  
  
"...Don't say such disgusting things Ninomiya." For the first time, he called the other man by his full family name.  
  
"...You aren't being serious."  
  
"I'm damn serious."  
  
It was the last straw. The younger man stood up abruptly, his face clearly showing disappointment.  
  
"You ASS." He walked around so that he was facing Sho. "Stop playing around with him then. Sometimes," Nino spoke, his voice strained from obvious anger, " _You_  disgust me." He stalked out of the changing room, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Sho stared at the door.  
  
+++  
  
 _He remembered the times when his Grandpa was still around, he would wander to the river. Looking at the water flowing steadily, the fishes swimming in it, had a calming effect on him. The river was free of both humans and shadows.  
  
However, a couple of times, he would meet humans lurking around there, with shadowed eyes filled with cruel intent.  
  
"Crazy weirdo!", "Freak!", "Gross!" they had chanted at him, sometimes hurled as individual insults, sometimes gathered together in a slow, ghostly singsong rhythm.  
  
They tried a few times to surely harm him, without telling him why they were doing so. He should have given up going to the river, but he found that he wasn't able to give up the only thing that made his world seem normal._

 _He thought they would leave him alone when he finally found the courage to fight back the one time they tried to push him in those waters, but they came back again, angrier, more furious than before.  
  
And this time, they managed to push him into the water. He'd struggled in the water, but the current was too strong. And he didn’t know how to swim. He couldn't fight back. _  
  
Does the river hate me too?Is it so wrong if I lost my memories? _He had thought that as his consciousness slowly turned white._  
  
 _There was a yell, a splash, and the sound of cutting water.  
  
The next moment he knew, he was out of the water, on the land, lying with his back on the grass of the riverbank. He was forced to choke out the water he had swallowed in the river. His whole body felt heavy and weak, and in pain. He couldn't move at all. He opened his eyes and saw a face looking at him from above. A worried face.  
  
A face...? Not a shadow? Not one of those bad humans?_  
  
It must be a dream.  
  
 _He closed his eyes and opened them again. The face was still there, but it wasn't Grandpa. Who is this boy? He was saying something, so he tried harder to listen. His grandfather had taught him that too.  
  
"...you okay? What happened?"  
  
Kind words. He hadn't heard them for a while, except from his grandfather. He felt his vision fading again, but the boy shook him.  
  
"Hey kid! Don't faint again!"  
  
He should thank the other boy for saving him. But his voice wouldn't come out no matter what. So he smiled at him instead, hoping he would accept that as thanks.  
  
"Why are you smiling? Where's your parents? Your house? Is it near?"  
  
Ah, Grandpa's house, he thought. He pointed in the direction of Grandpa's house. How lucky it was that Grandpa's house was so near to the river.  
  
"That house there? Okay I got it. I'll be right back."_  
  
 _He laid on the grass, unable to move, and waited, staring at the sky._

_He was saved by a boy. A strange boy who had suddenly appeared and jumped into the river out of nowhere. A river boy…?_

_As he pondered over that, his body and mind overcome by fatigue, fell into a state of unconsciousness, not making it in time to see the boy return back to him with his grandfather.  
  
+++_  
  
Sho thought that Lady Rie looked a bit unsettled. She was looking at him up and down with a slightly worried look on her face.  
  
"My Lady? It seems that something is troubling your mind?" He said as he poured out a glass of champagne for her.  
  
"My dear Sho..."  
  
"Yes, my Lady?"  
  
"When is your next Den performance?"  
  
Sho paused a little, midway through.  
  
"Tomorrow, and I believe two days after that?"  
  
"Is that so?" Lady Rie fell silent for a while, appearing to be in deep thought. "Are you able to do them?"  
  
Sho laughed. Was the Lady a bit drunk?  
  
"Why ever not, my Lady? I've been doing them for the past few years."  
  
Lady Rie was shaking her head slightly.  
  
"No... my dear... no... Its okay, never mind then."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
The rest of the time spent with Lady Rie passed somewhat peacefully, although the lady was a little too quiet, a lot more quiet than her usual self.  
  
Sho suspected that Lady Rie might be somehow thinking on similar waves as Nino.  
  
It was true, Sho admitted, that he felt that he might not want to perform with anyone other than Jun. He had given it a lot of thought. All this attention that he was giving to Jun... somehow it seems surreal, the relationship that they have right now, surely is all just a passing phrase. A temporary moment of weakness, something that he shouldn't allow to go on. It was definitely something he couldn't allow to go on.  
  
He had decided for himself that he wouldn't be swayed during the Den performances, that he was already so used to the Den that it didn't really matter if he did it with someone else. That he wouldn't be involved any deeper in Matsumoto Jun.  
  
 _I am still able to do it_ , Sho thought resolutely.  
  
+++  
  
"Can I see him?"  
  
Sho stared at Ohno. His question had been said in his usual quiet voice, as if he all was asking for was a cup of coffee.  
  
Sho had thought he'd go visit Ohno before his performance, because something about the man calms him down. And Nino was still not talking to him. The atmosphere between them was too tense for either one to stay in the same room for long. And Aiba wasn't helping with his own jokes.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please allow me to see Matsumoto Jun."  
  
"Why? And why are you asking me for permission?"  
  
"Because... Nino..."  
  
 _Because Nino has been talking to him. Telling him I've become disgusting, most likely. Why must that guy always butt in? And he got Ohno worried again, idiot._  
  
"Alright Boss. I'll bring you there tomorrow night."  
  
+++  
  
It was hurting him. His body was utterly rejecting the touch of the other man on it and Sho couldn't do anything for it. His entire being felt revolted at the act he was doing at the moment. He felt himself on the verge of collapsing with the unbearable suffocation in his chest, but he knew he had to keep going.  
  
He wanted to throw up.  
  
Why did it suddenly become too painful to bear? Despite him being so used to it? His body was cold with sweat, and shivering almost uncontrollably. His partner noticed and asked,  
  
"Hey. Are you sick?"  
  
Sho shook his head, breathing painfully and heavily, telling him to continue.  
  
 _I have to make it through._  
  
+++  
  
He threw up after the performance, both hands gripping the sides of the toilet bowl seat.  
  
After he was done, he exited the toilet cubicle quietly, avoiding the stares of those who heard him, and entered the shower cubicle instead, staying inside longer than usual before he returned back to his room.  
  
+++  
  
Sho wasn't sure how he was supposed to get Ohno in without Aiba there to help, but he decided to go through Chef Tomo first anyway.  
  
 _To meet Jun again..._ He was torn between the desire to meet the other man once man and the decision he had made to not be deeply involved with him. He wished he hadn't made that promise to Ohno, but he couldn't take it back.  
  
He had told Ohno that he should prepare himself because they would be meeting 'a scary person' first. Ohno just nodded and minutes later, they were in the kitchens, standing near the chef.  
  
"Ummm." He began. Chef Tomo stared at him, peeling potatoes with a small knife.  
  
"You are..."  
  
"Sho. Aiba's friend."  
  
"Hmmmm."  
  
"C-can we go in?"  
  
Chef Tomo looked at Sho.  
  
"Well, Aiba did ask me to make you an exception but..." He turned his head towards Ohno. Ohno looked back at Chef Tomo with awe on his face. The old man still looked forbidding despite holding just a small knife.  
  
"You. I don't remember you. You can't be the same shorty as the other day right?"  
  
Ohno shook his head, still speechless.  
  
"Then I can't let you in." It sounded as if he ended the conversation already as he returned his focus back to the potatoes.  
  
"Ummm..."  
  
"But Chef-!" Sho protested.  
  
"Be quiet. Be grateful that I allowed you in."  
  
"Ummm..."  
  
"What is it, Shorty?" The chef snapped.  
  
"This..." Ohno held out a box from a bag he was carrying that Sho hadn't quite noticed before. "I heard that you're diabetic so I made something non-sweet... You might like it..." Sho briefly wondered how he knew about the chef's condition.  
  
"Huh! Another bribe? I'm not so easy, Boy."  
  
"It's not a bribe," Ohno said quietly, "Just a small gift for our first meeting." Ohno held the box out to the chef, looking at him with determination as the chef glared at him.  
  
"I don't want it."  
  
"Please take it Sir. It's good while its still fresh."  
  
True, the smell from Ohno's box was deliciously fragrant. The chef seemed to have smelled it too. He sneaked a glance at the box.  
  
"What is it anyway?" He asked gruffly.  
  
"Freshly baked French bread. I know it's a bit plain but it's quite good really."  
  
"Hmph. Really." The chef was definitely stealing glances at the box.  
  
"Take it Sir. It's alright if you won't let me in. But it's not good not to take food while its fresh."  
  
Chef Tomo seemed to be a bit bothered still, but Ohno thrusted the box into his hand forcefully.  
  
"Here!" He stepped back and bowed courteously before turning around. Sho could only watch.  
  
"Let's go..." Ohno told Sho. He turned back to the chef and said, "Nice meeting you Sir." before heading for the kitchens' exit.  
  
"But- you- but-" Sho wasn't sure where to start.  
  
"It's alright. He won't let me in... it's his job after all..."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Wait right there young men!" Chef Tomo's voice came from behind."You can go in. You have my permission. I'm gonna trust you here alright?"  
  
Sho looked at the chef, amazed. No, actually, he should be amazed at Ohno. Why is he surrounded by such powerful people? Ohno... Aiba... They can do things that he was sure he could not do. Ohno turned and smiled at the chef as he said,  
  
"Thank you Sir. You can trust me, you have my word on that."  
  
+++  
  
"How did you know he have diabetes? Nino again?" Sho asked Ohno as they walked through the passage.  
  
Ohno scratched his cheek lightly.  
  
"Aiba too, I guess. They were telling me several things..."  
  
 _Is my life that entertaining to talk about?_ Sho wondered, slightly irritated at being a topic of conversation by them.  
  
"They don't mean any harm by it, Sho." Ohno told him gently, patting him on the arm lightly, as if reading his thoughts. "They're just worried about you."  
  
Sho kept silent.  
  
+++  
  
Yoko passed him the key while grinning at Ohno. He must have bought from Ohno's bakery before. Most likely more than once or twice.  
  
When they entered, Jun was reading a simple-looking picture book.  
  
 _So Jun reads huh?_ It hadn't occured to him before even though their first meeting had proven that the other man could even write. Sho felt all his sick feeling being washed away by the warmth that was taking over instead as he watched the younger man. He didn't know what to think anymore. He should be disgusted with himself and yet...  
  
Ohno stepped forward, causing Jun to look up.  
  
The baker stared at Jun who stared back at him blankly. Ohno blinked and approached the younger man.

"Be careful. He doesn't lik-" Sho began but stopped short when Jun dropped his book and greeted Ohno with the greeting that only the two of them should have, placing his forehead against Ohno's, hands on the sides of the older man's head.  
  
Sho felt his stomach twist. He didn't like the feeling, but he knew it would be unreasonable if he were to follow his senses at the moment, that it would be unreasonable if he were to snatch Jun by the wrist and pull him away from Ohno, far away.

"Why?" His voice managed to force itself out, yet too soft for anyone to hear. "Why...?"  
  
Jun pulled his forehead away from Ohno, and looked at him, eye to eye. And smiled. Ohno smiled back at him, a little awkwardly, and just as awkwardly, reached out a hand to pat him on the head carefully.  
  
 _Smiled._  
  
Sho felt as if someone added a punch to that twist in his stomach. Jun... was smiling to someone other than himself. It was completely unreasonable for him to feel jealous of Ohno, so he told himself that it was just strange that the Jun who wouldn't let anyone but Sho to approach him, would smile and make contact with Ohno.  
  
 _I'm not jealous. That would be disgusting._  
  
"So you are Jun..." Ohno said as he pulled his hand away from Jun. Sho took the chance to grab Jun by the wrist. It was an instinctive thing, somehow. He just felt the need to do it.

Jun looked at him, a little taken by surprise. He tilted his head slightly. Sho shook his head and tried to smile at him.  
  
"Say..." Ohno continued, unperturbed by their small actions.  
  
Sho looked back at Ohno. Ohno's eyes were on Jun's as he asked,  
  
"It might be just my imagination but you... seem familiar... Have we met before?"  
  
Sho's heart almost stopped. _Does Ohno know him?_  
  
Jun looked at Ohno. It seemed as if he was concentrating hard on what Ohno said. His face was screwed with concentration, but after a while, he gave up, shrugging at Ohno.  
  
"Oh well." Ohno turned to his bag and brought out some papers and pencils.  
  
"What are you doing, Boss?"  
  
"I thought he might be bored, always having to just stay in this room so... I thought I'd draw him?"  
  
"That kind of... doesn't make sense?" Sho said, after thinking it over.  
  
"I'll give the drawings to him when I'm done." Ohno offered.  
  
"Are you good at drawing, Ohno?"  
  
"I'm... alright, I guess."  
  
Jun stared at the paper and pencils with interest, and to Sho's consternation, actually stayed still long enough for Ohno to draw his face. For around an hour, there was nothing but the sound of pencil sketching across paper. Two pairs of eyes constantly watched the older man drawing.

Then, finally, Ohno thought to look at his watch.

“Oh dear, it’s really late. I’m afraid it will take a long while before I can finish my drawing though.”

“You’re not done?”

“No…”

Jun had moved over to Ohno’s side to look at the current state of the drawing. He seemed to be enchanted by it. He then took up a pencil, and stared the paper, hesitatingly.

“Do… do you want to try drawing?” He asked Jun, not knowing what kind of answer would he want in return. Jun looked up at him, his face beaming with delight. He nodded.

“But…” Sho felt rather taken aback. “But I can’t draw well…”  
  
”I can teach him.” Ohno offered. “That way, I can also come back and finish drawing him. And he won’t be so bored.”

Sho felt a sinking feeling in his chest. But Jun seemed to really want to do it, looking at Sho eagerly. Pressurized under those eyes, he managed to say out a word,

“Okay.”  
  
+++  
  
 _When he came back with the boy's old man, probably his grandfather, the boy had already passed out. He helped the old man with carrying the boy back to his house, although it was a bit of a struggle for him since the boy was clearly only a few years younger than him._  
  
 _ _He had intended to ask whether the boy was alright another day that but it slipped his mind because the preparations for moving had begun, leaving him with no time for visits._  
  
 _He thought how grateful he was to be offered to move away with the family he was living with. Auntie and Uncle had decided to move away to somewhere nearer to Uncle's workplace and they were bringing him along. Him and their daughter of course._  
  
 _Haruna.__  
  
+++  
  
Sho woke up with a shock.

_They got him after all. They must have gotten him after the first attempt to push him into the river. They were probably angry that he injured one of them. Those boys._

He turned over and crashed down onto the floor with a fairly loud thump before scrambling back up and running toward's Nino's room. He banged on the door.  
  
"Nino! Quick! Open!"  
  
No answer.  
  
"NINO!"  
  
No answer still.  
  
"Open up or I'll kick your door down!"  
  
"Alright, alright, I'm getting up!"  
  
Sho waited impatiently, pacing outside Nino's door. As soon as the door opened, Sho rushed in, rather recklessly, accidentally bumping into Nino's side.  
  
"Hey! Don't do that!"  
  
"Sorry." Sho gasped.  
  
"What issit, you bastard?" _Oh that's right_ , Nino was still mad at him. "Did you see a ghost or something?"  
  
"No. Look. Just listen alright?"  
  
"I don't really want to hear anything from you."  
  
Sho took the plunge anyway.  
  
"Jun."  
  
"Eh?" Nino asked.  
  
"Jun."  
  
"What's with him?"  
  
"I've met him before. Years ago. Once at least."  
  
"EH?!"  
  
+++  
  
 _ _He looked for the boy who saved him from the river, and day by day, would watch for him from afar._  
  
 _Some days he was nearby, walking past with his friends, laughing and chatting, but always too occupied to notice him. He was constantly surrounded by bright people. Jun was certain that the boy was someone who'd make his friends and people around him happy. There were never any shadows near him. He envied him for that._  
  
 _His grandfather didn't know who the boy was, just that he just happened to pass by the river and noticed that he was drowning. That was all._  
  
 _It's alright, Jun didn't need to know who the boy was, he was content with just seeing him, waiting for a moment in which he could thank the boy._  
  
 _There were days where that boy, would be walking alone, wearing such a serious look of concentration that he dared not disturb the boy. And some days, he would be walking with just one solitary girl. They seemed close, so he did not dare interrupt them either._  
  
 _Always, always, he watched that boy, still looking for a chance to talk to him, yet not quite daring to do so either._  
  
 _But almost as suddenly as that boy had shown in up in his life, just as suddenly, he disappeared. No longer did he walk by the river; not alone, neither with his friends. He simply vanished._  
  
 _He continued living his life as it was with his grandfather, eventually forgetting about him. And then, when his grandfather passed away, his surroundings became even more terrifying than before.__

 _The humans brought him away from Grandpa's home to a placed which reeked with inhumanity and terror. The humans themselves had turned into monsters._  
  
 _ _They introduced methods that he never knew of before. Ways to make him surely suffer, ways that his body rejected instinctively, causing him to fight back each time they dragged him into their torture chambers. They were punishing him for forgetting them a long time ago were they not?_  
  
 _He didn't want to give in to them, but his body was slowly wearing down, and the punishments kept coming one after another, each one even more terrible than before. He wanted to give up and just give in, but somehow he couldn't. He couldn't. He was too afraid. Yet, there was no place to run, nor hide.__  
  
No one can help me.  
  
 _ _Again and again, they tried to punish him, to the point that he was sure he couldn't fight anymore. He began to wonder whether there was any point in fighting back. There was no one there anymore for him to live for._  
  
 _And that was when they met again. He'd been brought in to the torture chamber again. His body couldn't handle it anymore, he knew he couldn't fight back._  
  
 _This time, those monsters were sure to succeed in whatever they planned to do to him, he had thought. But he didn't want to be punished.__

 _The punishments seemed to bring about a change to his body, causing his entire being to feel frozen, and weakened, and extremely, extremely terrified. He couldn't understand why, but he hated those punishments._  
  
 _ _The human monsters always change for every round of punishment, so at that time, he knew yet another new human was coming in. He tried to hide, because he couldn't fight, curling up himself in a corner, hiding his face with his knees so that he could not see it. And yet the footsteps of the human monster grew nearer and nearer. It found him, and reached for him. He struggled._  
  
 _Don't come near me. Don't touch me. Don't..._  
  
 _It had grabbed him by the chin and forced him to face it. His brain froze for the moment, as he stared at it helplessly. It was blurry, he couldn't see it properly, but he knew its motives were the same as the others before it. He shrank away from it, covering his face again._  
  
 _For a moment, the human monster did not seem to do anything, but before he could feel safe, it had grabbed him by the sides of his face roughly, forcing him to face it once more. He blinked._  
  
 _A face. It wasn't a human monster. It wasn’t even a bad human. It was the face of a normal human._  
  
 _It was the same face of that river boy that he met once, a long time ago, now older.__  
  
 Why? Why is he with these monsters? Has he... become a part of them? Is he going to punish me too?  
  
 _ _The other man's face came in closer to his, his heart beating quickly, fearing what might come. Jun wondered if that man had forgotten all about him. He resisted, a little weakly, but the man stayed firm, his hands clinging to his hair._  
  
 _Their foreheads touched. After a little more struggling, he realised the other man was not trying to hurt him. He was gentle, trying to calm him down. Jun could feel a sense of warmth radiating from this person. Jun stared at him._  
  
 _With his eyes shut, he looked a little... sad, somehow. He could feel, this person was scared, confused, desperate and uncertain about so many things. Why had the boy who was brimming with confidence, surrounded happily by so many friends, grown up to be in such a state, and ended up in such a place?_  
  
 _Why does he feel like someone who has lost his path in life? This person whom Jun had owed his own life to?_  
  
 _At the moment, he seemed to be trying to reassure Jun that it will all turn out alright, that he won't be hurt or harmed.__  
  
Maybe, _Jun thought slowly_ , maybe he can be trusted...  
  
 _ _Jun shut his eyes, trying to accept the man before him. Body shaking a little, he submitted himself to the punishment that this man had been sent to deliver to him._  
  
 _He was gentle. His touch, just like his whole being was warm. He gave off the sense of being extremely careful with Jun at first, but then that tenderness gave way to something wilder, something rougher. Yet, Jun couldn't quite hate it._  
  
 _That man; the river boy, gave him an experience which filled him with not pain, but a new, raw, pleasurable sensation he didn't know he had. One he was sure he would never feel from the other humans._  
  
 _He can trust this man._  
  
  
  
 _+.+.+__  
  
  



	7. The Beginning of Demise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ohno packed his favourite pastels, his box of drawing pencils and a sketchbook into a faded brown satchel, smiling with satisfaction. Just touching them gave him a sense of calmness and peace that he favoured. He hoped that they would do the same for Sho's poor young man.
> 
> _Matsumoto Jun..._
> 
> It was a name which crept at the edges of his memories... The face too... He knew that face... A far-off, distant memory. But, something was stopping him from remembering anything."

**Platinum Oleander Chateau**  
 **Chapter 7: The Beginning of Demise**  
  
Ohno packed his favourite pastels, his box of drawing pencils and a sketchbook into a faded brown satchel, smiling with satisfaction. Just touching them gave him a sense of calmness and peace that he favoured. He hoped that they would do the same for Sho's poor young man.  
  
 _Matsumoto Jun..._  
  
It was a name which crept at the edges of his memories... The face too... He knew that face... A far-off, distant memory. But, something was stopping him from remembering anything.  
  
 _It was as if he ran, and ran, towards the bit of memory hidden in him, and then crashed into an invisible wall. When he got up and tried to get into the piece of memory yet again, he crashed once more. There was a huge blockade in his brain stopping him from remembering, and there were hissing whispers coming from behind it, telling him not to come nearer.  
  
 _His heart shuddered, and he felt the darkness closing in on him from behind the wall. Instinctively, he stepped away, releasing himself from its grips. He was afraid. Afraid to go any further.__  
  
Ohno knew that he had the key to Jun's past, but he didn't want to try opening that lock that was keeping it hidden.  
  
+.+.+.+  
  
 _He had thought that that would be the last encounter he would have with his river boy. That they would never meet again, like all the others before him. After all, after that day, the human monster who was to punish him changed. And changed again the day after that. And the days after that, all trying to hurt him. He didn't like what they tried to do to him, and lashed out in defense while he shrank deeper inside himself, trying to protect himself from them.  
  
He will never meet the river boy again, was what Jun had subconsciously thought, hidden in the depths within himself.  
  
But days passed, and HE came again, to the torture chambers. He had been not been expecting him, and had cowered away. He had struggled as he normally would. But a gentle touch, a gentle voice, the familiar warmth of a forehead against his... He knew that warmth.  
  
And there he was again, the river boy who had grown up. Again, the uncertain eyes that hinted isolated sadness.  
  
How does one help such a soul? He did not know, but all his attention would remain focused on this man. He didn't know what to do, so again, he allowed this man to punish him. Punishing him in a way not like the other human monsters. Perhaps punishing him would at least allow him to meet this person again. Perhaps meeting him more will allow him to help his river boy. This... Sho.  
  
He had such disturbing eyes.  
  
+++_  
  
Nino sat across the older man, observing him warily, across a table in the common room. The older man had woken him up from his sleep in the middle of the night, telling him some unbelievable tale. Yet, he looked rather earnest in telling his tale, a little flustered, a little excited.  


"Are you SURE, Sho?"

"Do you have to repeat that? YES. Yes I'm sure."  
  
Nino held a finger to his temple, thinking hard.  
  
"When... was this?"  
  
"This... was when I was living with my childhood friend and her family. I think... 13 or 14 years old?"  
  
"Hmmm... that's quite a long time back huh?" Nino rubbed his temple slowly, in a circular motion. "Where?"  
  
"In Arakawa. My school was 20 minutes walk from their home, and I passed by the river there every day."  
  
"You... forgot you saved someone?"  
  
"Yes..." Sho gripped his fists as he tried to think why he could have forgotten such an event. _Ah..._ _That's right. A lot of things happened. Also, Haruna..._  
  
"Matsumoto Jun... He...," Nino continued slowly, "Was he like now already then?"  
  
Sho relaxed his fists. He pursed his lips as he thought back. He remembered the pale drenched face as he struggled to bring the small, limp body out of the river. He remembered the eyes that opened and stared at him after the boy regained his consciousness. The eyes didn't make an impact on him surely then, but the boy hadn't spoken.  
  
"Hmmm... I'm not sure. Maybe? He didn't speak then either, but... his mental state didn't seem so bad either."  
  
"Interesting. Was his grandfather around then?"  
  
"Yes. He was at home. I had to fetch him. I'd used up too much strength swimming."  
  
Nino stood up and walked around the table towards Sho.  
  
"Ah… I see. His grandfather's presence must have been a great influence on him. So... Hmmm…."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"That explains a lot huh."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why he got attached to you so fast. Why he didn't try to assault you the first time?"  
  
"He... recognised me? He remembered me?" Sho paled. "But... but he didn't tell me?"  
  
Nino shot him a disbelieving look.  
  
"How the heck is he supposed to tell you when he couldn't speak? How the heck does he know whether you were the same person as before when you tried to do the same thing others before you did? Would he tell you anyway, knowing you're not on the same side as him?"  
  
"But... but he let me...perform-"  
  
"Because he owes you his life." Nino told him sharply. "He allowed you to continue, because he remembers his debts to you."  
  
Sho had subconsciously assumed that the man accepted him without conditions. That he was in a way, more special than the rest. It's true, if he considered it. He was special alright, in a way he didn't expect himself to be.  
  
"What's with that face?" Nino asked him, interrupting his thoughts, his face carefully straight.  
  
"What face?"  
  
"That ugly one on your hea- never mind."  
  
Sho decided to ignore this and stood up too, and headed for the door. He stopped.  
  
"Ohno..."  
  
"Ohno?"  
  
"Ohno might have met him before. I'll ask him when I can-"  
  
"Captain knew our guy from before??"  
  
"-but meanwhile, maybe you can find something from that particular piece of memory. And maybe I'll ask Jun first." He walked out.  
  
"Idiot. Jerk." Nino murmured under his breath. "When will he be honest with himself?"  
  
+++

Sho was hoping to catch Jun again before their next experiment. But he had been so occupied with work that he couldn’t find the time to do it. More and more ladies were asking for him in the Ballroom, that he barely seemed to have time for the Den, something that he could accept willingly.  
  
Lady Rie kept visiting him often too, although she had talked lesser recently, always asking him about himself instead.  
  
Sho would talk of work and perhaps the chefs and the shops outside, keeping his conversation within a safe boundary. Lady Rie would in return reply accordingly and courteously. She would still laugh at his jokes. Yet, Sho couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was being cautious of something.  
  
The other ladies who visited him were more open and cheerful. And they kept asking about Jun.  
  
“Who is that guy?”  
  
“Is he really crazy as they say?”  
  
“What is it like, being in the Den with him?”  
  
“What do you think of him?”  
  
Sho politely declined to answer any of the questions. Clearly, these ladies had been watching the experiments. Or maybe just that one time paid performance. He wasn't sure, but he didn't really care.  
  
There seemed to be some sort of cult forming around him and Matsumoto Jun, by these ladies. They seemed to be interested to see more of them. Which is perhaps why, the next experiment has yet to be started.  
  
Or, Sho thought uncomfortably, has it already ended without him knowing anything? The whole experiment? Was he no longer needed to be with Jun now? Is the Madame going to make Jun do Den performances on a normal basis?  
  
 _No, Jun would never agree_ , Sho thought. He'd never do it.  
  
 _But... does he know? Does he know what it means to share one's body with another? The only reason that he let Sho have sex with him was just because he owed him his life? Does he not know the dirtiness nor the beauty of it?_  
  
Sho wanted to ask Jun many other things too. Did he really remember who Sho was? Why didn't he tell Sho anything about it? What does he think of him?  
  
He went again to the Root Wing to seek Jun out after Ballroom ended.  
  
Ohno was there, overlooking Jun, who seemed to be making a drawing of his own. Ohno must have given him the pencil and paper he was using.  
  
"Right, that's one way you can draw things, by drawing basic shapes as the outline first. Good." He praised Jun, who smiled back at him before resuming drawing.  
  
Sho fought the urge to demand Ohno to leave immediately, and instead remembered, _Ohno might have met Jun before._  
  
His meeting with Jun might have ended then and there at the Arakawa river, with no more hints to go by then that, but Ohno might know more.  
  
"Yo."  
  
"Yo." Ohno replied without turning away from his drawing. Sho made to sit beside him.  
  
"So."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Sho decided not to beat around the bush.  
  
"You knew Jun from somewhere?" He blurted out.  
  
Ohno stopped drawing. He turned to look at Sho, eyes curious.  
  
"Hrm... You know..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I get the feeling I've met him. But I'm not too sure from where. I think I've probably met him only once, not enough to remember the face properly, but enough to leave a strong impact for a one-time meeting."  
  
"You really can't remember anything?"  
  
The baker's face screwed as he thought, and then shook his head.  
  
"Nope sorry. I'm not really sure where." He abruptly stood up and started packing his materials, and said, "I'm done for the day."  
  
Sho watched Matsumoto Jun turn to Ohno, reaching out to tug at the hem of his trousers lightly, with slightly anxious eyes. Ohno smiled at him and bent down, patting his cheek ( _Almost fondly_ , Sho thought).  
  
"I'll be back again. Continue practicing alright?"  
  
Jun reluctantly let go of the piece of cloth he had clutched. Ohno turned to Sho and told him,  
  
"Take care. See you, Sho."  
  
As the door shut behind the older man, Sho wondered what Ohno had meant by "Take care". _Take care of Jun? Take care of himself? Or take care that now the two of them are alone, he shouldn't..._ Sho blushed. Surely the baker did not mean that.  
  
Sho approached Jun, who smiled at him, making a move to get up.  
  
"No it's alright, don't bother." He could almost hear the panic in his voice, wanting to avoid more contact with Jun, but yet not wanting to avoid at the same time. The younger man pulled back obediently, staring at him questioningly. "What were you drawing, Jun?"  
  
The other man beamed and showed him his paper. Sho couldn't make out what it was exactly, but it seemed to be some sketchy ovals put together.  
  
"A caterpillar?" He asked doubtfully. Jun almost laughed as he shook his head. He had this glowing smile on his face, a little shyly as he watched Sho. Sho gulped. This wasn't going to be easy.  
  
"Jun... Can I ask you something?"  
  
Jun blinked at him. Sho braced himself as he asked,  
  
"Have we- have we met before?"  
  
Jun's eyes turned wide. He stared at Sho.  
  
"Have we?"  
  
The younger man's eyes turned wider still and nodded.  
  
"Th-then..." Sho asked with a dreaded feeling, "Do you remember how, and where?"  
  
Jun continued staring at him, as if he was thinking things through.  
  
"Is it too hard to say?"  
  
Jun looked down at the pencil and paper in his hand. Then as if enlightened, he smiled and began to scribble on the empty reversed side of the paper, before showing it to Sho. One word, in shaky handwriting.  
  
 _River._  
  
Sho sighed. _So it's true._ He looked at the other man firmly.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
The younger man looked taken aback.  
  
"You didn't trust me?" The younger man shook his head slowly at that statement.  
  
"Then why... why Jun?" He asked softly. Jun looked down, clearly conflicting with himself internally. He stared very hard at the paper in his hand and then at Sho. After a while, he shook his head sadly.  
  
Perhaps it was too hard for him to relay what he wanted to tell him. Sho closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them back.  
  
"Alright. I can't force you-" The door creaked upon and a voice boomed out happily.  
  
"Here you are Sho! See, I knew he was gonna be here!"  
  
"My great-grandmother's uncle's best friend knows that too." Nino's voice came from behind Aiba bluntly. "And besides, Yoko already sai-"  
  
 _Damn,_ Sho thought, a little angrily, _I never can seem to catch a break._  
  
"What are you guys doing?"  
  
Nino sat on Jun's bed. Aiba was almost hopping excitedly as he approached Sho and Jun.  
  
"You see, you see! We have this awesome-st idea!"  
  
"Idea?"  
  
"Yes!! Don't you want to hear Jun speak?" Sho straightened up as he focused on Aiba.  
  
"Yes, you do, right?! It'd be so awesom-"  
  
"Aiba, just get to it," Nino interrupted, in an elaborately bored fashion. Aiba frowned at him before turning back to Sho.  
  
"Nino's going to teach him to speak again! You know, what was it called, 'rehabitation'?"  
  
"RehabiLItation, Aiba.You missed out 'li'." Nino corrected him as he lied lazily on his side. Aiba waved his hand dismissively.  
  
"Yes, that. What do you think Sho?" He faced Sho eagerly. Sho wondered why they even bothered to ask him, when they were obviously set on doing it.  
  
"Uh... Okay. Great idea?" He managed _,_ wondering if he would ever have time alone to with Jun. How else could he ask more about the past? Then again, Jun might open up more with more social interaction.  
  
Nino stretched his limbs out straight on Jun's bed.  
  
"Well that's good then. It means we'll be coming here more often." He glanced at Sho with the corner of his eyes.  
  
"What?" Sho asked him, slightly perturbed. When Nino gets involved like this, it's not always good for him.  
  
"Nothing... Heh."  
  
"What?! Nino!" Sho was even more perturbed.  
  
"Nothing, nothing." Nino rolled over onto his stomach, and looked at Jun.  
  
"Hey you. Jun."  
  
Jun responded by turning to look at Nino, who grinned, his teeth flashing.  
  
"Man, you've got lots of things cut out for you."  
  
+++  
  
He remembers. His river boy remembers the incident. He didn't really think that he would, but he finally remembered him. In a way, it made him a little happy. Yet, he was painfully aware that now Sho was cautious that he didn't bring up the matter before.  
  
He couldn't explain it. How meaningless it would feel if he had to remind Sho of the past. If he was someone whose existence was undeniably too small to be remembered.  
  
How painful it would have been if the older man had continued not to remember him. Just him, he's the only one who has to remember Jun.  
  
+++  
  
Sho wondered if Nino had found out anything about Jun at all. He approached the other guy later on in the cafe, and proceeded to ask him about it.  
  
"Nope. Sorry. Nothing." Nino told him as he sipped his steaming brown coffee. Sho sighed, but caught Nino looking at him strangely.  
  
"What is it? You've been looking at me too strangely, dude."  
  
Nino drank more of his coffee, before placing it down on the table. He seemed to be considering his next words, and spoke, in a voice that sounded very much too calm.  
  
"Look, Sho." He began. Sho waited quietly. He had a feeling he knew what Nino was going to say.  
  
"Don't you... think its strange?"  
  
"Strange? What is?"  
  
Nino glared at him.  
  
"Stop playing dumb. You and _him_ of course."  
  
Sho stood up abruptly.  
  
"Yes, I know its strange. That's why, I told you already. There's NOTHING-" Nino punched his face before he saw it coming. Hard.  
  
"Damn you bastard, can you listen first?!" His face was flushed red, signs of anger and frustration showing on it. There was no longer any unnatural calmness on it.  
  
Sho looked down quietly, hand on his bruised cheek. Nino sat back down.  
  
"I'm going to tell you this first, Sho. You, my man, are a hypocrite."  
  
Nino took a sip from his coffee, slowly calming down.  
  
"You said, there's nothing between you two, I know that. But yet, you still want to know more about him. You still visit him. And..." Here he lowered his voice, "And you want no one else to touch him, isn't that right? Only you."  
  
Sho couldn't help it. He looked away. How was Nino able to read his mind so well? It's highly unfair, he thought, a little pissed off.  
  
"Just admit it Sho. You want him."  
  
"No-" Sho stopped when he saw Nino giving him another meaningful glare. He slumped down his chair and sighed.  
  
"You don't understand Nino... I can't... It's not normal..."  
  
"Well," Nino told him, "He isn't normal either. Look at all of us. We ALL aren't normal. This whole place isn't normal. So what if you like him in that way? Just the other day I saw this guy and -uh never mind others' business. Point is, you're not the only weird one here."  
  
"I can't Nino..."  
  
"Dude. Should I hit you again? Maybe I'll aim for your nose this time."  
  
"Madame will kill you."  
  
"I didn't say I'll break it. Just enough to make it bleed temporarily. She won't know."  
  
Sho sighed, ruffling his hair frustratedly.  
  
"Then... tell me. What the hell do I do now? What can I do?"  
  
"Make him happy. That's all. Make yourself happy too."  
  
"Easier said than done."  
  
"Better tried than not at all."  
  
They both sat in silence for a while.  
  
"Sho."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Have you been talking to the Madame lately?"  
  
Sho thought back. _Come to think of it..._  
  
"No. She hasn't talked to me lately. And there hasn't been any experiments with Jun either."  
  
Nino frowned. Sho didn't like the frown.  
  
"Sho."  
  
"Y-yes?"  
  
"Be careful Sho. She might be up to something."  
  
Sho rather thought that Nino might be right, but he didn't want to think so.  
  
+++  
  
"Let's do that again! First put your teeth together, but keep your mouth open, sorta like a grin." Nino instructed the other man. "Like this."  
  
Sho caught sight of Jun copying Nino's mouth movements.  
  
"Then you breath out. Like, Shh! Ssssshhhh! Try it."  
  
"...," Nothing came out.  
  
"Are you sure this is going to work Nino?" Sho asked the younger man.  
  
"Hmmm... Do it again!" Aiba piped in. "Like this, sshhhhhh!"  
  
Nino rolled his eyes and said to him, "Dude, I can make anything work. Just be patient."  
  
"But this is like your 3rd session with him..."  
  
"Shut up and let him try." He nodded to Jun. "Go on, try again. Like this. Sssshhh!"  
  
Jun pursed his lips together as he seemed to be trying to absorb the image in his mind.  
  
"Okay now!"  
  
"...."  
  
Sho waited as he watched the man do it over and over again. Nino finally sighed and gestured to Aiba to leave for the day, when a sound came from behind him.  
  
"...hsh." Nino turned around so quickly that he hit Aiba in the ribs hard ("Ow!"). Not that Sho saw it, since he too turned to stare at Jun.  
  
"Did you..." Sho started.  
  
"...hear that?" Nino continued for him. "Yes."  
  
"Try that again." Sho told Jun, grabbing him by the arms.  
  
"......hsh?"  
  
"OH MY GOD. He DID it! Sort of." Aiba exclaimed excitedly, rushing to grab Jun's hands, knocking Sho over. "CONGRATS!!" he said excitedly as he shook the other man's hands, who looked slightly flustered at the excessive action.  
  
"Enough Aiba." Nino interrupted. He took Aiba's hands carefully away from Jun's, and shook his hand just as carefully.  
  
"Very good. Still a long, loongggggg way off though, so don't be too happy, got it?"  
  
Jun smiled at Nino, and Nino visibly taken aback for a moment before pulling himself together, was obligated to pat him on the shoulder lightly.  
  
"Oh, alright, well done, you _can_ be a bit happy. Just a bit!'  
  
Sho stayed back, watching over them with a smile on his own face. They were silly people, separate individuals whose personalities clashed with each other. But watching them all together still make him happy. It made him wonder, a little afraid.  
  
 _How long will these times last?_  
  
+.+.+  
  
"We meet again." Sho felt an unpleasant jolt even before he turned around. It was the stalker from before, licking his lips as he looked at Sho greedily. Sho backed away from him automatically. He had just come back from an evening Ballroom duty, and there was no one else about in the corridor to the Wings section. Nino was in Ballroom duty too, but he'd only finish up much later.  
  
"Stay the hell away from me." He told him firmly. The other man just grinned nastily and stepped forward, closer to Sho, cornering him into a wall. "You know what will happen to you if you do anything."  
  
"Hah! I just need to satisfy a little... hunger. That's all. Surely a little wouldn't hurt?" Sho could feel him as he reached out to pat his outer thigh disgustingly with his big hands. He pulled away forcefullly, but was pulled back roughly into place.  
  
 _Who is this guy? Why did Madame allow him to roam freely around the Chateau? Does he not belong to the Pedicle Wing?_ Sho's heart beat rapidly in cold fear. _This guy is insane._  
  
"S-stop it."  
  
"Hoh! Why are you so shy, dear boy? I know for a fact that you've done it with plenty of people before. Surely there's no harm in a little fun?" His hand moved down.  
  
Sho refused to answer. He couldn't. But he knew he wouldn't care to do it with this guy. Instead, he tried to think of ways to escape. But he didn't have to.  
  
"Hey you! What are you doing?!" It was Shirota, walking down the corridor in his guard suit.  
  
"Mind your own business, would ya?"  
  
"I can't do that. Beat it, or I'll report you to the Madame."  
  
"...Tch! Give me a break man." The man rolled his eyes, and walked away.  
  
"You okay Sho?" Shirota asked, approaching Sho, who found that he couldn't move. His hair felt like it was standing on ends.  
  
"Oi! You okay dude? Your face is freaking pale!" Shirota shook him lightly. Sho took a deep breathe in.  
  
"I- I think so..."  
  
"Go back to your room okay? I'll follow you back."  
  
Sho nodded in acceptance to the offer. Shirota placed an arm around his shoulders to get him walking.  
  
"Anyway, what kind of a weirdo was that?"  
  
Aiba was outside in the common room alone, fiddling with a piece of rubber band listlessly. He stood up when he saw Sho enter with Shirota.  
  
"Sho? What happened? I didn't know you had a Den duty? I was so bored but Nino had Ballroom duty and I couldn't find you-"  
  
"No, he didn't have any. He had a run-in with this super perverted weirdo."  
  
"Weirdo?"  
  
"Yeah, you know, this big guy, kinda old, kinda strong."  
  
"Ah. That new guy from goodness knows where."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay, I'll handle him from here." Aiba told Shirota while holding on to Sho's elbow. "You may go, thanks." Shirota passed Sho to Aiba before leaving the Wing. Aiba led Sho to his bedroom and made him sit on his bed.  
  
"Sho, what's all this about?"  
  
"I... don't know how to say it."  
  
"Try me." Aiba demanded.  
  
By the end of Sho's story, even Aiba looked slightly worried.  
  
"He's stronger than you, you say? Then, he must be really dangerous. You'd better stay away okay?"  
  
"It's not like I went to find him on purpose."  
  
"Don't wander in the corridors alone."  
  
"But I can't help that!"  
  
"Look," Aiba said to him, surprisingly firm, "Do me a favour and just try it okay? Try to make sure you walk back with someone. He sounds like he's really targeting you."  
  
Sho kept silent, not protesting further, knowing that Aiba was really worried over him. _He's a good guy, Aiba._  
  
+++  
  
Ohno was with Jun again when Sho entered his room the next day. It was really unsettling to Sho, how Jun was able to be so close with Ohno within a short period of time. When Jun leaned over to look at Ohno's drawing, he touched Ohno's hand, and the older man would just smile and show him his work.  
  
Sho closed the door behind him, causing the man to look up.  
  
"Ah Sho, hello."  
  
"Hi Boss. Still drawing?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Can I see?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Sho approached closer to Ohno and looked at his drawing. So far, so good. He had done the basics, and had started drawing the details, probably halfway-through.  
  
"Wow, it's really good. It does look a lot like Jun."  
  
"Thanks, Sho." He returned back to drawing, as so did Jun with his own drawing. Sho went over to Jun instead, whom, to his surprise, quickly covered his drawing.  
  
"Eh? Why did you cover it Jun?" The younger man just shook his head.  
  
"Are you embarrassed that your drawing is not good? That's okay, I won't mind." Again Jun shook his head, causing the older man to feel a slight twinge of disappointment, but Sho said nothing. Instead, he wondered when Jun would remember that he hadn't even made a move to greet him yet. Sho waited beside Jun, watching him, waiting, until he couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
"Won't you greet me?"  
  
Matsumoto Jun looked up at him, as if surprised, before smiling, a little embarrassed, a little hesitant. He bit his lower lip.  
  
"Well?" Sho placed his hands on either side of the man's head and looked at him directly in the eyes. _Why is he hesitating? What is stopping him?_ Jun averted his eyes. Sho traced the direction of his look to Ohno, who was still drawing , unaware of the world around him.  
  
 _Why is he looking at Ohno?_ He could feel himself getting a little irritated, wondering whether Ohno had said something to Jun to stop him from greeting Sho.  
  
"Jun! What's wrong?" His hands were still firmly holding the man's face, who was still not looking back at him. Sho couldn't help but feel a little bit of fear in himself. Fear of losing Jun's attention for him. "Jun..."  
  
Jun must have sensed the alarm in Sho's voice. He turned to look at Sho, and lines formed in his forehead and creased. He shook his head at Sho slowly, and leaned in closer. Sho closed his eyes in relief, awaiting for the warm contact to his own forehead.  
  
It didn't come.  
  
Instead, he felt something soft and warm, making contact to his cheek. Sho's eyes shot open in shock, as Jun pulled himself away from Sho's cheek, his own cheeks a light tinge of pink. For a moment, Sho couldn't think, his thoughts in a flurry, before he registered what happened.  
  
Jun had kissed him on the cheek.  
  
Jun... kissed him on the cheek.  
  
He fell backwards, sitting on the floor, his arms supporting him weakly. His heart was beating rapidly, and he could feel his cheeks turning warm. _Where did he learn that?_  
  
A chuckle. Ohno. Sho turned his head to the older man, still stiff with shock.  
  
"You..."  
  
"Yes, Sho?"  
  
"You taught him that?"  
  
Ohno shrugged, but said nothing to confirm or deny it.  
  
"Does it matter? He did it voluntarily."  
  
"You..." Sho's voice was faint, and he didn't really know what to say.  
  
"Take it or leave it." Ohno told him firmly.  
  
+++  
  
"Sho," A soft voice spoke from behind him while he was queuing up for food.  
  
"Yes, Nino?" Sho responded, knowing who it was.  
  
"I heard about the weirdo from Aiba."  
  
"Oh, you did? That blabbermouth."  
  
"Look, Sho. I agree with Aiba, you'd better lay low, dude."  
  
"It's not as easy alright? That guy seems to be able to get anywhere."  
  
"Try."  
  
"Okay, can we try to forget that for an instant?" Sho said, feeling annoyed. "Instead let's change topics. I... I need to tell you of something that happened yesterday."  
  
He told Nino about the kiss on the cheek, while they set down at one of the more isolated tables, hopefully far away enough from prying ears, not really knowing exactly what he expected to hear off him, until Nino brought it up by himself.  
  
"So do you think he did it because he was taught to do it, or was it because he was indebted and attached to you because of your pasts? Or do you think he did it because he felt like it? Because he wanted to do it?" Nino asked him. Sho knew he had hit the mark when he said that. It had been this uneasy snagging feeling he had felt sinced it happened, but Sho hadn't been too sure what it was about, until just now.  
  
"I... I don't know what to think, Nino. I really don't. I don't even know what he thinks. What do you think?"  
  
Nino shrugged.  
  
"Can't help you there. You need to find out the truth from him yourself. Find out whether his submission to you is really just a case of gratitude or something more."  
  
+++  
  
Sho was walking towards Jun's room, heading for his door when Yoko stopped him.  
  
"Wait. Sakurai Sho... I heard something."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"He... he's going to have another one of those experiments..."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Jun. She's making him go into the Den with someone else."  
  
"What?!" Instinctively, Sho grabbed him by the collar. "What did you say?! Where did you hear that? I thought she hasn't been doing anything?"  
  
Yoko stared straight back at him in the eyes.  
  
"Do you really think that she will stay quiet forever? Don't think that for a moment she would do that. Especially not to an ongoing experiment like our Jun."  
  
"But- She can't- I won't- Jun-"  
  
"Shut up if you can't speak properly. And let me go."  
  
Sho let go of his collar. He walked away from him, still facing Yoko as he walked backwards, towards Jun's room, before turning and running inside, closing the door behind him.  
  
"HSshh!" Jun was beaming at him, and approached him, obviously proud of having able to say that much, arms outstretched to greet him.  
  
"Jun." Sho grabbed him by the back of his head as he pulled Jun close, much to the other man's surprise. _This is not the time to be leisurely._  
  
 _He's mine. Jun is mine and mine only. How_ dare _she._  
  
He breathed in, trying to suppress the hot feeling that was churning up in his stomach. He should be the only one to touch Jun. Suddenly turning their positions around, he pushed the younger man against the door, breathing heavily against his cheek.  
  
"I won't allow it. I won't allow anyone to touch you. Only I..." His lips brushed against the defenseless man's ear. Jun shuddered, and Sho's grip on his arm tightened, not allowing any chances for escape, if the younger man was even capable of it. He could feel it, his greed to possess the younger man, swelling up in him, a greed that he didn't want to get rid of.  
  
Sho was well aware of the fact that both of them were finally alone together properly. He was well aware that Yoko knew he was inside. But he couldn't help it. The man in front of him, had been playing with his mind somehow, manipulating his thoughts, his feelings, such that he could not bear the thought of another touching him. He knew that Jun had rejected the others before, but still, he could not bear the thought of the younger man going through another one of those again. He could not _not_ do anything about it.  
  
Jun opened his mouth a bit, as if to speak, but of course, there was no voice, and instead leaned back against the wall, a posture that told Sho that he wouldn't fight back. That he would let Sho do anything he wanted. It made him remember what Nino had said. It made him wonder if Jun was relenting to him just because he saved him from the river.  
  
It made him mad.  
  
"Stop that!" Sho told him angrily. "Stop always submitting to me. I don't want your pity! I don't want your gratitude!" He slammed his fist into the wall beside the younger man's head. He saw the younger man shrinking away slightly, but he didn't care. "Would you just stop it?!" _I just want you to think about me the way I do about you. Care about me the way I do you. Want me the way I want you._  
  
"Damn!"  Sho pulled his hair back as he gritted his teeth. "Damn it. Stop being a kid Jun!"  
  
Smooth hands caressed Sho's cheeks lightly. Sho looked at the other man, as he blinked angry tears away. Jun was smiling wistfully at him. Sho could feel the warmth from his hands as they continue to trace his cheeks, as they wiped away the tears.  
  
"I..." Sho began.  
  
The younger man looked at him apologetically as he removed his hands from Sho's face. Sho caught them and kept them on his cheeks.  
  
"Don't. I... I don't know why... And I don't know if you can understand me or not but... But I need to be with you. Do you get me?"  
  
Jun waited for him to continue.  
  
"I don't want you to just let me touch you just because I saved you from the river. I want you to do it because you are willing to."  
  
"Understand this Jun. You can't just let anyone do what I did with you. It's an important sign of caring for that person if you do it willingly. If you don't want to... with me..." Sho clutched his fist. "Just refuse. Reject me. Like how you did with the others."  
  
He didn't seem to fully understand it, was what Sho thought.  
  
"This, Jun." He leaned in and kissed Jun's throat lightly, his hands slowly placing themselves on the other man's hips. Sho moved his hands lower as he broke the kiss. The other man gasped quietly and turned a little pinkish.  
  
"Yes. This. And- and whatever comes after this. Don't do it with anyone. Clear? Do it with someone you- someone you don't mind doing it with. Can you understand me?"  
  
Jun nodded slowly. Sho moved the fringe that had fallen across the other man's forehead and said,  
  
 _"Goo-"_  
  
"Cleaning the room now, Jun, excuse m- WHOA!" Kazama interrupted. Sho quickly released Jun.  
  
"What the hell?! Can you NOT do that in here?"  
  
Sho frowned at him irritatedly.  
  
"I'm not disturbing you at any rate, so why does it bother you?"  
  
"Who the hell do you think has to do clean-up?!"  
  
+.+.+  
  
Nino was panting when he found Sho playing chess with Aiba in the common room of the Nectar Wing.  
  
"I swear I don't get this whole concept, Sho." Aiba was saying. "I keep losing at this-"  
  
"What the hell people! This is no time to be playing!"  
  
Both men looked up from their game.  
  
"What's up Nino?" Sho didn't quite like the look on Nino's face. It's the look which says that Nino was trying hard not to show his feelings. Which means that the younger man was scared. Something that made Nino make the face could not be good.  
  
"Sho, Aiba. She got us good." Nino told him, white-faced.  
  
"What? What's wrong Nino?" Sho could hear _himself_ panicking.  
  
Nino raised his compact electronic schedule towards Sho with a shaky hand. Sho couldn't believe his eyes and gripped on to Nino's arm roughly as he brought it closer to him, as if it would make a difference if he did it like that.  
  
"That bitch."  
  
Nino had an appointment in the Den. With Jun.  
  
+.+.+


	8. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _How do we get through this? What can we do?_

"What are you going to do?" Aiba asked him, following him from behind, uselessly tugging on his arm. He had marched out of the Wing, away from Nino and the blasted schedule he was holding.

"I'm going to find her. I'm going to ask that woman for some explanations."

"Sho, please,' Aiba continued tugging on his arm, pleading. "You're not thinking straight! This is the Madame we're talking about!"

"I know." He tried to shake Aiba's hand off, but the taller man was too persistent, so he continued walking on, with the man on his arm.

"Sho! You won't make things any better if you just rush into things! Do you get me?!"

Sho ignored him, and continued to walk. He didn't know where the Madame was but she must be somewhere in the higher levels, surely. He headed for the guarded stairs.

"Oh, Sho! Going to the bakery?" greeted the captain of the guards.

"No, I'm going up."

"W-what? You can't do that." The captain told him, standing up from his seat.

"Watch me."

"Stop him! He's a bit... not right in the head at the moment." Aiba said as he pulled even harder on Sho's arm. The rest of the guards were now standing up, some moving to block the stairs leading upwards.

"What do you think you're doing, Sakurai Sho?" The captain asked him in a stern voice. Sho stopped struggling and stood facing him.

"I'm going to give her a piece of my mind right now. She has no right to play with us like that, no right at all!" He knew he was close to being hysterical, and that he might look dumb at the moment, but he didn't care.

The older man stared at him grimly. And he sat back down.

"Sit, Sakurai Sho, and calm yourself down." He pointed to an empty seat near his.

"No, let me go up."

"Sit." It wasn't a request. It was an order. Sho glared at him, and Aiba, and the rest of the guards. He remained standing, defiantly.

"Fine, stay standing, but I won't let you through."

Aiba released his arm and stood watching him too. Sho began to move towards the blockaded stairs.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed, you stupid man!?" The captain suddenly barked at Sho. "Look, I've been in this job for over 10 years, and I know what she's like. YOU know what she's like too, don't you?! What the hell are your brains for, you buffoon?!"

Sho stared back at him.

"Have you lost everything in the world, so now you wanna die? HUH?!"

He was struck by those words. He hadn't lost everything in the world... On the contrary, he gained some important things. Some important people who were about to be hurt, because of Madame. But no, he hadn't lost them. He looked down.

"You don't get it... She's trying to hurt them... The people who are important to me..."

"Will they get killed for it? Will it make it better if you die, and still nothing changed for them?"

He bit his lower lip, and stubbornly replied, "...I don't know."

"Get lost kid. This world is already filled with plenty enough misery as it is. Don't add on to it with your death, if its not gonna help your important people."

+.+.+

What can he do? Ask Nino not to do it? And then Nino would receive Madame's punishment. He would lose his friend. But to ask Jun to... to sleep with Nino... to not harm him... to accept him. He knew he wouldn't be able to ask such a thing of the man. He couldn't bear to.

It was too painful a decision.

"Aiba... what do I do Aiba?" He whispered as the other man handed him a mug of tea. They were in his room, and Aiba was quietly attending to him, not being his usual hyperactive self, clearly hoping to calm his nerves. Sho was grateful for that, but he could not help but feel troubled.

"I can't ask anything from the both of them... Why am I so selfish?"

"Sho..." Aiba was looking at him with worried eyes. And then he sat down opposite of him, slamming his own mug onto the table. Some of his tea splashed onto the table, but neither of them took notice of it.

"Why do you think you must do anything at all?!" Sho stared at him in surprise. "No one asked you to do anything. You're not left in charge, Sho! Leave it to them alright?! Let them settle it between themselves! We will know when the time comes."

"But..."

"Sho, you can't handle everything by yourself. Have some sense!"

Aiba was right. Sho knew he was. He knew that he shouldn't be shouldering everything himself, but he couldn't help it. Nino was his friend and Jun was... well. Jun was something else altogether. But they were both equally important to Sho.

"Can I join you guys?" A voice asked them quietly from behind. Nino. Sho glanced at him, before nodding. Nino didn't look too good, and Sho couldn't blame him for it. He knows Nino knew what Jun was like in the Den, how he rejects people he didn't like. And he knew the danger Nino would be in if he didn't do it with Jun. Nino sat down.

"...Look, Sho. I..."

"It's alright Nino."

"...What?"

Sho was silent for a while, gathering his thoughts, collecting them and re-organising them as much as he could before he spoke again.

"I won't tell you to do anything... or not to do anything. It's up to you guys now."

"Sho..."

"I don't own him, Nino. I have no right over him."

"... And the Madame does?"

Sho gripped the handle of his mug. He continued, taking a deep breath as he does,

"But I can't help you either. I can't ask Jun to do anything he doesn't want to. I won't."

"..."

"Sorry Nino, that's all I've got for you."

"That's fine enough Sho."

Aiba gripped Sho's and Nino's hands from across the table, with the feel of someone trying to reassure them.

"Everything's going to be alright." Aiba said in a soft voice.

Sho wished what he said really was true.

+++

"Jun... I need to know now. What... what exactly do you think of me?"

Jun was drawing again, but he was sitting in a position that did not give Sho any openings to see what was it that he was drawing, although it did give Sho a rather tempting opening for something else, his back curled up against his pillow and his legs spread apart. He fought and conquered the rousing desire.

_An opening that Nino would see too_.

Jun looked up at Sho from his drawing and stared at him in confusion.

"How important am I to you?" Sho knew he sounded a little desperate, _but there was no time._

_Ah_ , Jun's face seemed to say as it clears up. He nodded his head while smiling serenely to Sho.

_Very_ , was what he seemed to say. There was no hesitation, and there was no shame in it. It didn't really tell Sho what he wanted to know the most. It was frustrating.

"You are important to me too." Sho told him. "But... I was wondering more to..."

Someone cleared his throat. Sho jumped and turned around. Ohno was there at the door, with Aiba. Aiba fidgeted but Ohno left the doorway to enter the room. He patted Sho on the arm as he passed by him, in his own reassuring way.Sho wondered what the older man planned to do.

Ohno knelt beside Jun, and muttered something into his ear that even Sho, as near as he was, couldn't catch it. Sho caught the both of them passing glances at him. Jun seemed as if he had just gained realisation as the older man continued talking to him quietly, as he looked at Sho with a growing new light in his eyes.

_Could it be?_ So it meant that Ohno knew everything about them. Sho knew he blushed, in the way he felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole no one can reach and stay there. But it was too late to stop the baker.

In the end, Ohno stood up, and did something which surprised Sho. He winked mischievously at him, before pulling him towards Jun.

"Go on. Hear his answer."

Sho leaned robotically towards the younger man obediently. He was aware that both Aiba and Ohno were still watching, and his ego didn't want him to do this in front of them. But.

He needed to know the answer more. His need to know fought with his ego, winning over it. His heart thudded with anticipation, and the distance between him and the other man seemed miles apart, as if it would take forever to reach him. Yet all he needed was to lean to reach the younger man.

And there they were, their faces only inches from each other. The other man seemed to be flustered, and a little too fidgety, and Sho was almost sure he knew what the answer was. Still, it was a question he had to ask, a question he needed a direct answer for.

"So... How important am I to you?" Sho whispered, repeating the same question he had asked earlier, feeling a rising hope swell in his chest as he watched the younger man closely.

Jun kept his eyes on him and placed his drawing faced downwards on his pillow as he took Sho's right hand in his own hands and placed it across his chest, smiling at Sho.

_Very._  There was still no hesitation, nor was there shame. It seemed like the same answer as before but Sho knew it was different.

It was good enough for him, Sho thought as he allowed Jun to kiss him on the cheek. With this, perhaps he could accept what will happen next. _Perhaps_. He heard the rustling sound of clothes pass by him.

Jun had gotten up to meet Ohno and kissed him on the cheek too, before proceeding to do the same with Aiba, who blushed with surprise and pleasure.

Sho raised an eyebrow questioningly at Ohno. The baker shrugged and grinned.

"I'm not perfect. Not yet."

+++

Nino was sitting on Sho's bed, arms wrapped around his legs, chin on his knees.

"I can't do it Sho. I can't."

Sho wondered what Nino expected him to do about it. They didn't exactly have the option of defying the Madame. He wished Nino wasn't there at the moment, looking like a lost, confused pup.The rush of anxiety that he had almost forgotten while he was at Jun's, came back again, like a persistent pest.

He'd already decided he would accept whatever will happen, he'd force himself to accept it, but Nino evidently couldn't. And that made his own feelings, his own will sway again. He sat down quietly beside the younger man, joining him on the bed, not knowing of the right words to say.

But he knew at least that he meant the next words that he would say.

"I... don't want to see either you or Jun get hurt, Nino."

Nino turned his head and looked at Sho, before turning away again.

"Its hard... I can't do it."

"Are you scared of what Jun might do to you?" Sho asked, not quite looking, but not quite turning away from Nino.

"...No. I don't really care about that..."

"Then?"

Carefully avoiding looking at Sho, Nino replied,

"It's hard to see you like that."

"Like what?" Sho saw Nino grimacing before replying loudly,

"...It's just hard alright?!"

Sho gritted his teeth. He wasn't a fool. He knew no matter how much Nino teased him about Jun, that this man really do care about them. Nino had done a lot for them somehow. He'd done enough.

Sho touched his cheek where he could still feel Jun's warmth. _That was it_ , he thought. _I've decided._ He felt a wave of unease in his stomach, knowing the implications of what he was about to say, but continued,

"Don't worry about me Nino. You've got to worry about yourself first. I want you to come out safe out of there, get me?"

Nino understood. He opened his mouth to protest but Sho shook his head.

Nino shut his eyes and sighed. Sho punched his left shoulder lightly.

"Hey..." He began quietly. It was hard for him to say the next few words, but he'd get through this for the friend who'd done so much for him and Jun. He looked down, bit his lips, tried to stop his voice from wavering too much. Avoiding looking directly into Nino's eyes, he spoke.

"Nino... Take- take care of him for me. Be... gentle okay? Then you might just live through it." As he said the last phrase, he forced out a laugh that couldn't fool any moron, let alone Nino.

+++

Nino entered Den X for the first time in his life.

_So this was where Sho first met Jun huh? What an utterly boring setting._ His eyes darted around, observing the plain bed, the plain walls... the plain glass ceiling.

With a face that told anyone who looked at it right now that he was completely unimpressed, he sat down on the edge of the bed, drinking in his surroundings.

His wrist throbbed, almost as badly as his temples did, but he refused to give the audience, nor the Madame any sense of satisfaction into seeing how his nerves was badly affecting him at the moment. Instead, he waited for the moment Matsumoto Jun would enter the door, with the coolest look he could muster on his face.

His hand touched the mattress of the bed, covered with a clean crisp bedsheet.

It seemed unreal that he had to be doing this, with the person that mattered the most to his friend. It tore at him to see how much Sho had been trying to force down, how hard he'd been trying to supress the tortured feelings he was experiencing.

It was strange, how Madame always knew so much. How she knows where to hit it hard. _Just how far can her intelligence go?_

The door clicked open, and Nino felt himself jerking straight. A guard entered the room, followed by Jun, who looked a little pale as he watched his own feet, trudging resignedly, followed by another guard.

_He must have been in here too many times,_ Nino thought. _He must have known the signs to know what he was expected to do, and that he didn't want to do it._

The guards brought him up to the bed and then left them there alone as they shut the door behind them.

_Click._

The door was locked. And it won't open again until the deed was done. Jun was still looking at his feet, , probably refusing to look at the person he was going to have to face up against, Nino thought. _He won't do it with anyone but Sho. He won't._

And then he thought.

_Heck, I won't let him do it with anyone but Sho. And that includes me._

Nino stood up on his feet, and saw Jun tense up. He smiled as he patted Jun's head assuringly. Surprised, Jun raised his head. For a moment, Nino saw brief flashes of his brother's face pass by his eyes. Instinctively, he grabbed his own wrist, and he saw recognition lighting up in Jun's eyes. He remembers me, Nino thought, a little gratified at this acknowledgement.

Then he saw the comprehension and horror that grew in the other man's eyes.

_Is he... scared for me?_ Nino shook his head, telling himself that he was thinking too highly of his own self. He saw the man struggling as he put things together in his already disturbed mind. And he knew he couldn't allow this man to suffer any more than he already is. He understood. Somehow, Jun had taken the position in him that was once held by his brother. Not overwriting his brother, just... becoming a new one.

He laughed at himself. _Look at me. This Nino; unshakeable, confident, overbearing... yet suffering from an acute brother complex. How laughable indeed._

He looked up at the ceiling, his jaw set determinedly, and raised up both his hands as a sign of resignation.

_Sorry Sho. Even if you tell me I could..._

"I can't do it. You got me here. There's no way I'll do it with this guy." He said out loud. He risked a glance at the younger man, who was definitely looking alarmed now. He ignored him, and looked back at the glass ceiling.

"Go on, take me, punish me whatever. I don't care anymore. Kill me if you must."

+++

Sho had rushed back from his Ballroom duty, torn between heading towards the Root Wing or the Nectar Wing, but settled for the nearer place.

He rushed into the common room of the Nectar Wing, and spotted Aiba sitting on an armchair by the window. Aiba turned around and caught Sho's questioning face. He jerked his head towards Nino's room.

"Says he wants to be left alone for a while. He locked the door, I've tried."

"What happened?"

Aiba looked at him grimly.

"Considering that he's back, what do you think?"

Nino's door opened, and they both turned to look. His eyes, were a bit lifeless, and he avoided looking at Sho straight in the eye. Yet, he was definitely addressing to him, and Aiba too, when he said monotonously,

"Come in, I'll fill you in."

+++  
   
Jun had tugged him by the arm, pulling him down. He had this stricken look on his face.

_He knows,_ Nino observed, and then was amused at himself for still being able to observe at this stage. _He knows something unpleasant will happen to those who doesn't do it with him. _He still hurt them anyway as long as they weren't Sho.__

Jun was shaking his head at Nino.

"It's fine, Jun," Nino told him. "I already know what will happen." _Why isn't anyone coming in to take me away?_ Jun had a disbelieving look on his face. For a moment there, Nino thought that he looked entirely sane. _Well, more sane than me at least._  


"I'm not going to force you to do anything with me, got me? I know you don't like me that well." Nino stood up, looking braver than he felt, as he yelled to the ceiling.  
  
"I'm forfeiting this time around!" _Come on, just take me already._ He felt a desperate tugging on his hand. Jun had a look on his face to match the tug. Nino wasn't sure what to think.  
  
 _Why does it matter to Jun what will happen to me?_  
  
And he knew the answer. Jun had found him as important as Nino had found Jun. He bit the inside of his cheeks as he blinked his eyes at this realization. _There'll be no tears now,_ he told himself fiercely. _Don't turn into a crybaby, Nino._  
  
"Then what do you want to do?!" He hissed after making sure he could talk without his voice getting wobbly. Jun pulled his hand away, and clutched it with his other hand. "You want to do what you've been doing with Sho?!"  
  
Nino could see him drawing back a little, not quite looking at him now. He couldn't help it as he yelled.  
  
"I know you can't! Why do you think I'm doing this?" Jun looked alarmed and shook his head at him again.  
  
 _You can't do this though,_ Nino was quite certain that that was what he was saying. Nino found himself calming down a little, his head clearing up a bit.  
  
"Then now what?" He asked Jun quietly. "Now what?"  
  
He couldn't believe it himself, but he was now waiting for the guidance of a mad man, seeking a way from him, because he no longer knew what else to do.  
  
Jun seemed to think for a moment, but then, looked decisively up at Nino. With unsteady fingers, he reached out slowly to Nino's shirt buttons.  
  
+++  
  
Sho closed the door to Jun's room, trying not to make any noise, and scanned around for Jun. Yoko and Kazama had vaguely acknowledged his presence when he came into the Wing, just waving to him slightly as they played a board-game together.  
  
The other man was sitting, curled up on his bed, staring out the window from where he was.  
  
"Jun..."  
  
The younger man turned to him and then turned away. Sho felt his heart sink a little.  
  
"Jun?"  
  
He didn't turn again, concentrating intently on the window.  
  
"Look at me, Jun." Sho approached him from behind, sitting on the bed slowly. It was as if the man didn't hear his words. Sho tugged his arm lightly. He still didn't turn back. Sho finally noticed it. That Jun was shaking a little.  
  
"It's... it's alright. I understand..." He placed a hand on the back of the younger man's head.  
  
"I understand Jun... You were helping Nino...It's alright. So..." He ruffled the man's hair from behind. "So... don't turn away from me, please."  
  
The man looked down, Sho's hand still on his head.  
  
 _Look at me. Please._  
  
Sho leaned in closer to Jun, arms slowly wrapping around him from behind.  
  
"You are very brave, and kind, did you know that?" He whispered and tightened his hold on him, but still holding back enough so that he won't crush him, and laid his chin on the man's shoulder.  
  
"It's alright Jun... it's alright."  
  
The other man moved. Sho loosened his hold. Jun turned to him, faced him, with cloudy eyes. Yet, those eyes cleared up in a moment as he placed a hand on Sho's cheek, wiping it. He showed his thumb to the older man accusingly. It was wet.  
  
 _Strange,_ Sho thought, _why am I crying? I'm fine with it... I understood the situation perfectly well. Why then?_  
  
And yet, he couldn't stop more tears from coming. He couldn't stop his own body from shaking.  
  
 _Jun no longer belonged wholly to him._ It was a selfish way to think, but Sho couldn't help feeling that way.  
  
He tried to look away but Jun turned to him fully, and pulled him closer, so that his forehead was resting on the younger man's shoulder, hiding his face. After a moment, as if he had been wondering what he should do in these situations, the younger man started patting him on the back, a little awkwardly, but gently.  
  
 _I'm the one who's not alright,_ Sho realised. _I've been useless_. _First Haruna, then Yuki, now Nino and Jun too..._ Sho reached out a hand and grabbed Jun by his arm.  
  
"I'm sorry Jun... I couldn't do anything to stop it... I'm sorry..." The younger man just kept on holding onto him.  
  
The two men sat quietly together as minutes passed, neither of them making any more sound, just passing the time by. Jun couldn't speak, but Sho could feel his whole being trying to be comforting to him, despite himself hurting too. Sho fully realised how strong this younger man was, not in the physical way, but even mentally, he was able to hold on his own, despite not being quite...stable. And then he knew, he was attracted to him even more than before. That he needed him more than before, instead of just wanting him.  
  
Sho removed himself from the man's shoulder and looked at him, face to face.  
  
 _How does that hair fall gently across his forehead in waves? Why does his skin seem to radiate white warmth? Sho knew that at the moment, he wasn't thinking rationally at all._ He gazed on as he followed the lines that formed Jun's distinguishable face, as he stared into the eyes, as he stared on at the elegant curves on his lips.   
  
Sho raised a thumb and traced those lips without thinking. A sigh broke out of those lips, but not out of displeasure. The older man could feel a strong desire threatening to overcome his wits. He didn't bother to fight it back.  
  
"Jun." Sho said. He pulled his thumb away from the younger man, and breathed out his next words,  
  
"Sorry Jun, I think I'm going to take a bit of you now."  
  
Before the younger man had any time to react, he pulled him in, closing his mouth over Jun's, into a soft kiss, filled with warmth, lips pressed against the other's, a kiss that tasted a little salty from his own tears, a kiss that hurts yet heals at the same time. It must have surprised the other man. For a while, he sat still, numb in Sho's arms. Sho wondered if the man might have gotten scared.  
  
The stillness and the lack of response made Sho hesitate, and he almost drew back, but then, the younger man responded. His own lips searched Sho's, tasting them, feeling them, probably even trying to remember them. It was as if he was seeking for shelter in the kiss they were sharing at the moment. Shelter from the pain they were both experiencing. It took his breath away.  
  
Sho didn't dare to push any further into the kiss, for fear that his body might break out of his control, and step across the line of limits. He might scare Jun away. But it wasn't really necessary, he found that both he and his partner was content simply discovering the gentleness and feelings that they shared behind each other's lips, seeking a cure for their wounded souls. It was a simple, pure action, nothing as deep as sharing bodies, but it was what they both needed at the moment.  
  
 _How funny_ , Sho thought. _Usually couples share a kiss first, before sharing the bed. But here we are, sharing our first kiss, long after we had sex, for a few times._ A soft, white, quiet atmosphere clung around the two on the bed, like feathers cushioning them, protecting them from the darkness outside.  
  
After a moment, Sho broke the kiss and smiled at Jun, whose eyes searched into his, bright and almost shining with the new experience, and yet also, with a little touch of shyness that made Sho certain that he was blushing a little himself. Jun touched his lips with his fingers wonderingly.  
  
 _Well, we're not really a couple are we? That sounds too weird for people like us._  
  
Sho pulled the other man's face close with his right hand, as their foreheads made contact with each other, the other hand removing the younger man's hand away from his lips, before slightly tangling itself into Jun's hair, eyes looking into each other's, and then they kissed again, a touch lighter than before, a little like a tease.  
  
 _It's going to be alright. No matter what comes our way, it's going to be alright._  
  
+++  
  
Lady Rie must have known, or suspected something about it.  
  
"Are you coping well, Sho?" She'd ask him on her next visit to the Ballroom. Sho avoided her eyes as he clasped his hands together.  
  
"Fine, my lady. I am honored that you would ask-"  
  
"Come now Sho, drop the formalities. And you can't fool me. Who do you think I am?"  
  
 _A good friend of Madame_ , Sho thought in silence.  
  
"Sho... Just, be careful."  
  
"What... what are you saying Lady Rie?"  
  
Lady Rie was nervously glancing around, but she still leaned in to whisper.  
  
"Be on your guard, Sho dear. Don't ever let it down."  
  
Sho didn't like the sound of that. He also wondered why Lady Rie was giving him this warning.  
  
"My lady?"  
  
"Just... listen to me okay? Don't make me go further than that."  
  
Seeing how anxious she looked, Sho decided not to probe into it further, but instead promised her that he'll be careful.  
  
+++  
  
Sho had begun slipping into Jun's room consecutively for the next few days.  
  
Sometimes, it was just to talk to him. Sometimes it was just to see him, to make sure he was alright. Sometimes, he'd hoped to steal another kiss, not quite certain whether the kiss really happened before, wondering whether it would still taste bittersweet if they did it again. But somehow, he couldn't find the courage to do it again.  
  
 _Coward,_ he had scowled at himself at the end of every visit.  
  
That day, he slipped in again. He didn't realise it before, or rather, realised it subconsciously, but lately, sometimes the door was left unlocked. Most likely, Yoko and Kazama got tired of unlocking the door whenever Jun had a visitor. Yoko himself just nodded sleepily at Sho as he passed by from the hidden route's door.  
  
 _They're slacking,_ Sho thought, not that he entirely disapproved. Jun shouldn't be treated like a prisoner.  
  
He saw Jun drawing, a common sight nowadays, on his bed and approached him. Jun looked up, saw him, but didn't smile. Instead, he looked worried as a crease formed in between his eyebrows. Sho stopped in his tracks.  
  
"What's wrong Jun?" He asked. Jun turned his head towards one part of his room, somewhere behind Sho.  
  
The older man turned too, and nearly jumped, only managing to let out a small squeak, when he found an unmoving figure at the corner of the room, near the door.  
  
"Aiba?! What the hell are you doing?"  
  
"Sho..." Aiba looked up sleepily. "I... nothing... I just needed some company." He stood up, staggering a little as he did. "I'll be going..."  
  
Sho watched Aiba walk out Jun's door, thinking hard, wondering if something was bothering the taller man. Come to think of it, he'd never known much about what might bother the man. Sho realised that it slipped his mind before, but Aiba himself said he came from the Root Wing. He wondered why, and how the man ever came to be in the Chateau.  
  
Aiba was always bubbly, cheerful, tried so hard to bring happiness to people around him. Would there be someone who would betray such a guy and give him to the Chateau? Or did he do it to himself? Making up his mind, he told Jun apologetically,  
  
"Sorry Jun, I'll come by again next time."  
  
He waited for the younger man's response, who nodded understandingly, before turning to follow Aiba.  
  
"Aiba!" He caught hold of his friend's arm, beneath the stairs in the secret route. The older man turned around, a little surprised.  
  
"Sho? What's up? Aren't you visiting Jun now?"  
  
"That can wait. More than that, tell me what's wrong?"  
  
Aiba looked confused.  
  
"What's wrong...? With?"  
  
Sho hesitated before answering,  
  
"With you."  
  
Aiba laughed. He smiled at Sho and answered,  
  
"There's nothing wrong with me, Sho. You must have mistaken something."  
  
"Aiba..." Sho wasn't entirely sure Aiba was telling him everything. "Are you sure you're alright? Are you in trouble?"  
  
Then he saw an expression on Aiba's face that he'd never seen before. It was only for a fleeting moment, but it was there. Aiba's face had stopped smiling, a slightly troubled look on his face. But then, he smiled again, widely.  
  
"It's nothing Sho. Don't worry." And before Sho could speak even further, Aiba had turned around to walk away. "Come on Sho, let's get out of here," he called from over his shoulder. There seemed to be a firm resolve around him that told Sho that he won't reveal anything.  
  
 _Did the Madame get to him too?_ Sho thought uneasily. Nino was still confining himself mostly to his room when he's not on duty. It hurts to watch him that way.  
  
But Aiba had refused to acknowledge any problem, and Sho knew he had to wait until Aiba was ready to tell him what it was that was bothering him so. He just hoped that it really wasn't Madame that was affecting him.  
  
+++  
  
They had walked back into the Wing, when Nino rushed out of his room, halting them in their tracks.  
  
Nino was pale. He was white in a way Sho had only seen when he announced to him that he had to sleep with Jun. It alarmed him.  
  
"W-what's wrong?"  
  
"I found out... Sho. I found out what happened to Matsumoto Jun."  
  
Sho observed Nino properly. His eyes didn't give away as much as he thought it would, but his fists were clenched tightly. And then Sho realised his heartbeat had sped up, when he absorbed what Nino had said.  
  
He was finally going to find out what happened to Jun.  
  
"Nino? Go on."  
  
The younger man was shaking now. Sho placed a concerned hand on his shoulder. The younger man was already not as stable as before, but he seemed even more highly-strung than before. Nino took a deep breath and pulled himself together.  
  
"Goddammit. Sho. We need to find him."  
  
"Find who? Jun?"  
  
Nino shook his head. He pointed out the Nectar Wing door.  
  
"Ohno."  
  
+++  
  
"Ohno. You know don't you?"  
  
"Know what?"  
  
The baker was in the middle of closing up his store for the day, clearing out the trays filled with the remaining bread crusts. He barely glanced at them as he focused on his work.  
  
"You know Matsumoto Jun. You know what happened to him."  
  
"I told Sho already, I'm not sure from where-" Nino cut him off,  
  
"How can you not remember?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Ohno asked calmly.  
  
Nino took out a few pieces of paper he had folded up from his jeans pocket, and tossed them at Ohno. Ohno caught them neatly and unfolded the papers. He read it. For a moment, there was a silent pause. And then, he paled, his hand flew to his temple, his eyebrows furrowed. What took Sho by surprise even more, was when Ohno winced with obvious pain, dropping on to his knees.  
  
It was as if something in his head had popped.  
  
"No. Can't be." The older man shook his head.  
  
"Yes it is. Have you forgotten already then, this particular incident?" Nino asked him, eyes narrowed, doing his best to hide the doubts he had and his concern at how Ohno had reacted.  
  
"It can't be." Ohno repeated, his voice in pure disbelief. "Why is he here? He shouldn't be here."  
  
"What are you guys talking about?" Sho asked. He didn't like how this was turning out at all. Ohno, of all people, looking as if he'd seen a ghost? What did the papers contain? He stretched out his arm to take the papers from Ohno. Ohno pulled his hand away.  
  
"No, Sho. I can't let you read this." His voice was quiet, but the hint of alarm is still there.  
  
"Why not?" Sho demanded. _How can he do this?_ Jun was the most important to him. It's not fair if everyone knows but him.  
  
"Because..."  
  
"Tell him, Captain." Nino said, walking over to Ohno to take the papers back from him. "I want to hear it from you too."  
  
Ohno looked at Nino, and then looked at Sho, who stared determinedly back at him. He sighed.  
  
"...Then... Perhaps he should read the papers first..." Ohno suggested, a little hesitatingly. Nino passed them to Sho. With slightly shaking fingers, not knowing what to expect, he held the first one in front of him.  
  
It was a copy of a newspaper article, dated from years back. Sho read it, crushing the paper slightly, not liking what he saw. He took the other paper, and read it too. It was a report on the same thing, from a different newspaper. No names, no faces. Just like the article before it. Again, he took another paper to read. This time, he looked up at Ohno.  
  
"It was you. You found them." Nino stated what was in Sho's mind at that moment.  
  
Ohno knew there was no point in denying it any longer, and nodded slightly.  
  
  
+.+.+  



	9. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW. And all sorts of shit will happen in this chapter. Yes. All sorts. Not for the faint-hearted, thanks bye.

He'd walk in wet from the river, and young Haruna had greeted him with an exclamation of shock. She was a little tomboyish back then, chubby in the cheeks, still had a gap or two in her mouth where her adult teeth were still growing. For a girl, she was a late bloomer.  
  
"What happened to you?! Wait there!" She'd rushed to get a towel, and made him stand still while she wiped his hair and his neck clumsily, two short figures, standing in the hall. He'd tried to explain what had happened, but all she did was refuse to listen to him, scolding him.  
  
Years later, he had wondered whether that was the start of it. His changing affection for her, from that of a childhood friend, to something different.  
  
  
  
They'd gotten into the same high school. He was elated when he found out that he was in the same class at her, but at the same time, realised that he could no longer cling to her as a childhood friend. She was growing up. They both were.  
  
Still, it doesn't hurt to chat with her once in a while, even if he doesn't sit or eat with her anymore.  
  
"You're pretty close to him huh?" Sho noticed one of her friends asking her, a little distance apart, in the canteen, while he was sitting with his own guy friends. He'd given her a wave and smiled as he set his lunch tray on the table. Didn't they realise he could overhear them?  
  
"Hmm? Sho? Of course I am." She'd answered easily. Sho hid his grin as he took a bite in his sandwich. How can they not be? Growing up together in the same house.  
  
"He's pretty cute. Are you going out with him?" A pause. Sho felt his heart thudding, and he wasn't sure why.  
  
"Umm. Well, I'm still single." Was it his imagination, or did she say that looking at his direction?  
  
  
  
He'd gone out with a few girls, all of whom had been the ones who had confessed to him instead of the other way around, breaking up with them soon enough when he realised he just couldn't fit in with that girl. But the one girl he'd wanted probably did not want him. How could he blame her? To her eyes, he was probably just her childhood friend. Nothing more.  
  
A part of him told him perhaps he should confess, but a part of him was afraid to do it. Afraid to get rejected. Afraid to make things more awkward.  
  
They'd grown apart in their years in high school. She barely even glanced at him now. It was probably his fault, going through more girls in his years there than other guys have done. He'd gained a notorious reputation as a playboy. She must be repulsed by him. Even at home, she had stopped talking to him more than necessary. Auntie and Uncle probably noticed it, but wisely decided not to interfere.  
  
And so he decided to move away when he entered college.  
  
  
  
He'd made that announcement at the dining table. Auntie and Uncle didn't seem surprised at his decision, and promised to fund his lodgings, being fairly well-off as they are. He'd thanked them for their kind offer. Haruna didn't say a thing, looking down at her food. But she'd announced, a few days later, of her intention to move away too.  
  
He remembered the feeling he felt then. It was a wistful, bittersweet feeling. The signs that the both of them had really grown up, grown apart from each other.  
  
The night he left the house, to start his new college life, Auntie and Uncle had sent him off at the door, Auntie with a handkerchief covering her nose. He was sad to leave them, yet, at the same time, felt excitement tingling in his toes, at the promises in the future ahead of him. Haruna was nowhere to be seen.  
  
He had walked down the familiar path that he had walked whilst growing up, the path that he sometimes took with her, up until high school, before walking on it alone.  
  
He stopped.  
  
And at the end of the path, a familiar figure awaited him. He recognised her at once; her hair, long, brownish, the wind gently playing with it, and her long flowing skirt. She was looking at him, her eyes gleaming in the dark, the shadows covering most of her expression.  
  
He walked up to her, briskly, with each step he took, faster and faster. And then he reached in front of her.  
  
"Why?" He asked, a little out of breath. She'd looked away.  
  
"I'm just... seeing you off okay? That's what friends do," she told him in a gruffy voice, not meeting his eyes. Was she blushing?  
  
"I'll keep in contact," Sho told her, a lump in his throat. And then she looked at him, and Sho felt the urge to hug her, to hug this person that he loved so much.  
  
"Must you go?"  
  
"You're going too," he reminded her. "To another college."  
  
"Yes... but..." She looked down.  
  
"We'll meet up often okay?" He said in a low voice. She pursed her lips as she faced him, and nodded.  
  
  
  
  
Ohno felt everything coming back to him as soon as he saw the articles; all rushing back to him with the vengeance of being suppressed for too many years. The memories were fairly clear, almost as if it had just happened the day before yesterday. The impact was almost enough to make him keel over, onto his knees.  
  
"How did you find out about this, Nino?"  
  
"I broke into the second database. The high security one."  
  
"You... what? Database?"  
  
"I found these articles provided inside Matsumoto Jun's second profile. And Sho told me before that you found him familiar. It's not hard to put two and two together."  
  
Ohno looked at Sho, who was still crushing the papers in his hands. _It would have been better if he hadn't known about this._  
  
"Do you really want to hear it still?"  
  
Nino nodded. Sho just looked down and stared blankly at the papers in his hands. Ohno stared at him grimly in return, and then turned to look at Aiba too, who had been quietly standing behind them.  
  
"If you guys really want to know, then come in, around the back."  
  
  
  
Ohno Satoshi, 15 years old, not exactly a people person. He had been returning home from the nearest convenience store; an errand his mother had set him to, despite it being so late in the night.  
  
"I need those eggs now. Tonight. Or you and your Dad won't have anything to eat tomorrow. Got it?" His mother's voice echoed in his head as he sighed with resignation.  
  
There was an eerie chill in the wind that blew in his face. The teenage boy looked around on the dark streets, discovering that he was the only one walking on it, and sped up his walking pace. He wasn't scared of the dark nor ghosts, not really, but it wasn't safe to be alone in such a dark place.  
  
It was as if something bad would just pop out in front of his face. Ohno Satoshi felt his heart thumping a little faster, a little more fearfully, but he did not want to admit to himself that he was scared. He kept walking while furtively casting glances to his left and right.  
  
And then there was a scream. A high, spine-chilling scream filled with agony and pain. Ohno nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound. He turned to look in the direction where the scream came from. There was a section by the road, dense with trees, but nothing much.  
  
He squinted, sure that he had really heard that scream.  
  
 _Could someone have fallen into a trap meant for wild animals? Perhaps the soil eroded and a tree dropped on someone?_  
  
Slowly, stumbling a little, he approached the trees, and was rewarded when he saw a narrow dirt path cutting through them. A light glinted, a distance away, inside the forest.  _It appeared to be coming from a... house?_ Ohno observed.  
  
Pulled by curiousity, Ohno approached the house, even as his legs shook slightly, wondering what had caused the scream, from inside a house. For a slight moment, he considered not proceeding but stopped that train of thought.  
  
 _Someone might be in trouble. Someone might need my help._ He told himself firmly as he walked down the path, as silently as he could. It seemed to take forever to reach that light, but he finally came across a multi-storeyed house, light shining from inside.  
  
The front door had been left open, but nobody was there. It's a bit foolish to leave your door open in such a place, Ohno couldn't help but think. But when he looked again, he realised that there was a big ugly dent in the door, and the knob wasn't on quite right.  
  
 _Shit_. It was forced open. Ohno felt his heartbeat rapidly increasing. _Robbers? This is dangerous,_ he thought. _I should get away._ He felt uneasiness swept through his entire body as he crouched behind a tree, unable to pull himself completely away from the scene. His eyes scanned the house again, his ears open for any more noise.  
  
The door had been forced. Probably hit with something really big and hard, with a lot of force, to make that kind of damage. Ohno shuddered, and tried to take a step back. I should go, he thought. I should call the police or something.  
  
But what if it wasn't really anything? Just a careless family household, who had the TV on too loudly. The police won't be pleased. Swallowing hard, he stepped forward instead, hesitantly, but decisively.  
  
 _Just look through the window, Satoshi. Make sure of things, then decide from there._  
  
His plastic bag of eggs rustled, reminding him of their existence. He placed them down within the roots of a tree and continued approaching. He'd perfected the art of keeping quiet, and even walking as noiselessly as a cat since a few years back, when he decided he doesn't like attracting attention.  
  
Taking a window near the open door is too dangerous. He swerved a little around the corner and headed to what seemed to be kitchen window. He peeked in.  
  
His hand flew to his mouth, covering it, preventing sound from coming out. The kitchen was not lit, but there was enough light coming from what seems to be the living room.   
  
Blood. Blood, everywhere. On the wall cabinets, where glasses and bowls were kept. On the sink, where some dirty dishes, signs of a recent dinner, still lay. On the stove, where a pot or two stood, probably still holding the remainders.  
  
And on the floor too. On the floor...  
  
Ohno's eyes flew wide, and a little gagging noise did escape him. He dropped down to his knees, his heart beating loudly in his chest, that he was sure he'd be found out. But after a little while, nothing happened, and he got up to peek through the window again. He covered his mouth as firmly as he could.  
  
On the kitchen floor, a lady lay covered in blood.  
  
But the lady wasn't properly intact. Her legs were broken, in the most awkward angles. Her right hand(Ohno wanted to throw up as he observed) was missing, and her left elbow had a deep cut.  
  
And her head... it looked as if someone hacked at her neck, trying to detach the head from it, but failing to do so fully. And then that someone must have hacked at it again, at a slightly higher spot, but it still wouldn't cut through.  
  
The head was still, in a way, connected to the neck; although veins, flesh, windpipe all looked thoroughly severed, a bone still stuck out and part of the skin still remains intact, a weak remaining connection of the head and neck together. Next to her, there was an axe, covered with so much blood that Ohno couldn't see the blade, but he knew it must have been a rather blunt axe.  
  
A painful, painful slow death. Ohno was horrified beyond comprehension. His stomach was threatening to throw up, but that was not all.  
  
On the floor, the lady's head, eyes wide opened was turned to face something else. Ohno was suddenly aware that there were soft noises inside. And a movement.  
  
Ohno's head was swimming, his inner self telling him, No more, no more. He wanted to tell his legs to move, to run away now, but they wouldn't obey. Instead, he followed the direction of the unmoving eyes.  
  
A man, covered with what could not be anything other than blood, bent over something small on the floor. The man's pants were lowered, and he was moving his lower body vigorously, at an almost constant rate.  
  
Ohno wasn't sure what he was doing until the man stopped, moved his arms lower, and then bringing it up again, lifting a small pair of legs, which struggled only feebly, before continuing his actions, moving faster still. The noises were coming from the man as he grunted while thrusting himself.  
  
Ohno felt sick. _This man is raping a child in front of its mother's corpse._  
  
And another sickening thought came to his mind. _Was the mother watching this while she slowly died away?_ Ohno was almost certain of this, somehow.  
  
 _Did the blood covering this man belong to the lady? Did the scream belong to the child when the man struck the final blow on his mother?_  
  
Yet another movement as the man shifted the child into what seemed to be a more comfortable position for himself. Thistime, Ohno could see a bit more of the child.  
  
It was a boy, probably around 11 to 12 years of age. A bit on the small size. He was naked from waist-down, the man's hands were under his shirt. Ohno couldn't bear to watch anymore, his head still swimming. He was about to turn away, when the boy's face dropped to the side, facing the kitchen window, and Ohno.  
  
Ohno felt his heart stop. He couldn't make out the whole face properly but there were certain things he could see. The boy's eyes were dark, and close to lifeless, and the only indications of the extreme pain he was suffering at the moment were the twitches at the corner of his mouth, and the drool dripping out in a long strand on one end.  
  
His head thrummed unbearably as he watched the two, covered by the shadows. For a frozen moment, their eyes glued onto each other's before Ohno truly turned, getting away from the house as quietly and quickly as he could, to the nearest phone booth.   
  
 _Ohno watched the police carting away the dead bodies; there were two long ones, and one small one, all covered up. And then he watched the medics carry a small, bundled up, still figure into the ambulance, the lights flashing, rivaling those on the police cars. He'd refused to look at the figure any closer, just indicating from far to an inspector that yes, that was him.  
  
That was the boy who got raped in front of his dying mother._  
  
The police had kindly offered him something to wipe the vomit on his clothes, while the more higher-ranked ones were in the middle of a discussion. Ohno was ashamed that they saw the tell-tale signs of it.  
  
He had called them, and was still doing alright maintaining his self-balance, or so he thought. But when he hung up, it was as if his body had been suppressing it just for that moment. Everything he ate that day probably came out.  
  
He'd been brought back to the station, his parents contacted, and found himself having to retell his part of the story over and over for several times over the next few days. The police made him promise to keep his story quiet from the public, especially the press. The media themselves had arrived on his house's doorsteps more than once, but his mother, being the fierce woman that she was, turned them all away.  
  
He never found out the boy's name, nor did he want to.  
  
There were a few newspaper articles, he knew that, but they never mentioned who the boy was, probably to protect his privacy. Even his own name, as the important witness, did not appear, maybe for Ohno's own safety too.  
  
One of the articles managed to mention him, and the town in which he lived in, described a little about him, how this 'poor quiet boy of 15' stumbled upon a 'gory scene', but that was the furthest they got. They must have been silenced too.  
  
His parents had never mentioned the incident any more after his last visit to the police, understanding his need to not want to recall the gruesome memory, and he loved them for that.  
  
However, the rest of the country wasn't as understanding. The town he lived in wasn't very big, and word spreads fast. His few friends, his schoolmates, would badger him for the next few months for his story, until their homeroom teacher realised and told them to cut it out.  
  
Many a time, he'd stand alone by himself during lunchtime at the emergency staircase, and sigh, like an old man, avoiding the noisy, nosy bustle of students, who did not understand that what he went through was _not_  exciting. That what he saw was _not_  a story to be flashed around like some... medal of honor.  
  
There were times his other relatives; cousins, in the same school, would join him on the staircase too, casually talking to him of normal things; normal everyday rumours around the school, understandably giving him some much needed companionship, giving him back his normal life. Family was very important, he has realised in those days.  
  
All he wanted was a quiet life. He just wanted to forget everything. Forget the blood, the butchered body, and the dead look in the boy's eyes; the one which told Ohno that he had lost any sense of life. He thought he never would.  
  
But time heals all things. And unwanted memories fade away with time. And forget he did, just like what he wanted.  
  
Until today.  
  
  
  
"What happened to the murderer?" Sho asked him, his voice coming out harsh.  
  
Ohno glanced at him, and his eyes formed an understanding look that made Sho feel a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"My parents told me... They caught the man a few days after. Hiding several kilometers away, deep in the forest. He admitted to everything. Right now... He should have long been executed."  
  
"I see."  
  
"I'd hoped he'd have a better life after that... And yet." Ohno's voice came out quietly; he was referring to Jun.  
  
All the four men in Ohno's bakery fell silent in thought.  
  
"Why... why were they attacked?" Aiba asked in a low voice.  
  
Ohno shrugged in reply. "I think... they never found out." Ohno pinched the bridge of his nose; remembering the experience was taking a toll on him, and the shock of the memories rushing back was too hard on him. He sighed.  
  
"I just wished I could have done more than that..."  
  
"What else could you possibly do? He was rescued in time. I think that man would have killed Jun too... After he was done with him." Nino added the last statement bluntly. Sho bristled.  
  
"You did well enough, Captain." Aiba nodded in agreement.  
  
There was an unfathomable feeling that was forming inside Sho, and he was conscious of its presence. Yet, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. It seemed like a steadily forming twister of different emotions, and none of them were good. He stood up abruptly. The other three stared at him.  
  
"Yes, it's all good that you were there to help him." Sho said, not caring for the tone that went along with that statement. "Yeah, it's good." The twister of emotions spun stronger, and he had a hard time keeping it in his reigns.  
  
There were thoughts in his mind, questions that were finally answered. Like, why Jun had greeted Ohno upon first meeting him. His unexplainable affection for the moment. His fast-growing attachment to him.  
  
He might not remember Ohno, but somewhere deep within him, he did. His sub-conscious mind remembered Ohno as a person that he felt secure to be with, a person whose presence promises him the safety and protection that his wounded mind, heart and body needed.  
  
A person whom he can rely on. Someone undeniably important.  
  
And what about Sho...? Sho was just someone who pulled him out of the river. That was all. True, Jun remembered him, and told him he was very important to him. But who was more important?  
  
There was also that thing about the murderer. So even before Nino or Sho, Jun had already been touched by someone else. And much more further than he had. Sho knew it was unfair to hate that thought, when he himself had been through so much more men than the younger man had. But hate he did.  
  
And hate too, for the unfeeling cold-blooded man who had murdered a family, including a girl child, and for the man who had enough cruelty to rape a young Jun in front of his mother.  
  
How hateful.  
  
"Sho?" Ohno asked quietly.  
  
He gasped from the turmoil in him as he snapped back to attention, facing his friends. Nino's lips were shut together, Aiba's eyes were wide, and Ohno's eyes still held that uncomfortable understanding look.  
  
"I... I need to be alone." Sho turned away from them, and walked out of the bakery, knowing that he'd only lash out at them if he stayed any longer. There was a small movement behind him, but he did not turn.  
  
"Leave him, Aiba." Sho heard Ohno's quiet call, and thanked him silently.  
  
  
  
"Speak of the devil! Sho's here!" He saw the group of cheerful people waiting for him as he walked in the cafe. Old friends. Haruna was there too, smiling at him.  
  
"Sho, alone again? When are you gonna get a girlfriend dude? You used to have them coming out of your ears all the time!"  
  
Sho uncomfortably laughed it off and told his friend, not daring to look at Haruna.  
  
"Nah, I'm fine. I've had enough of girls back in high school. Now I'm more to studies."  
  
"Damn right, you lucky devil!" His friend had laughed it off and patted his back. Sho chanced a glance at Haruna, but to his disappointment, she was talking to her friends, possibly ignorant of what he said.  
  
 _She still hasn't forgiven my behaviour?_  
  
  
  
Sho had cooled down when he decided to visit the Root Wing. Approaching Yoko, he asked whether Jun's room was unlocked. The other man nodded.  
  
"As usual. Go ahead."  
  
Sho hesitated, lingering by Yoko's side.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can I..."  
  
"No." Yoko cut him off abruptly. "I'm sure Kazama told you before, but we won't allow you to do it here." Yoko told him sternly, hands on his hips. It looked comical, but Sho knew he meant it. It was the pose of an older brother, protective of his younger siblings.  
  
Both guardians seemed to be used to the idea of Sho with Jun, although that doesn't mean they always approve of him visiting there so often.  
  
He blushed furiously.  
  
"No! That's not what I was going to ask."  
  
"Oh." Yoko relaxed his posture a bit. "Then what?"  
  
"Can I borrow him for a while?"  
  
  
  
It was dangerous, Sho knew, especially if the Madame or one of her loyal lackeys caught sight of them, but seeing Jun staring around the kitchens, marvelling at the sights, smells and sounds of it, was enough of a reward for him to dismiss the idea of danger. Sho knew he was being sly, but he wanted to be the one who mattered the most to Jun. He wanted to be the one most important to him. Every little bit of what he does counts, surely.  
  
And so, there they were.  
  
"Bit of a silent guy, ain't he? That's the guy you keep visiting right?" Chef Tomo came up from behind him. "You and that shorty. And the other shorty. And Aiba." Sho nodded, alternately looking at him and then at Jun. Chef Tomo seemed to be doing the same with him too.  
  
"Hmmm... The two of you seem to fit each other. Somehow. Not that I know much."  
  
"He is an amazing person." Sho replied. "Him, Aiba, Nino and Ohno."  
  
"That bread shorty."  
  
"Yes." He sighed, sitting down on a nearby stool without invitation, eyes still on the younger man, who was now staring closely as one of the cooks diced up an onion, causing the poor amount a fair amount of discomfort. Chef Tomo sat down beside him too.  
  
"Wish I was amazing too..." Sho muttered.  
  
"You are from the Den are you not?" Chef Tomo asked, interrupting Sho's thoughts.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How do you find it in there?"  
  
Sho turned to stare at the old man.  
  
"Why? You're not thinking of joining it are you?"  
  
The chef did not crack a smile, meaning he did not find it to be funny at all. "Oh, fine. I'm joking."  
  
"So how do you find it?"  
  
"It's..." Sho recalled the first time he was in it, a stranger to another man's body, recalled the countless times after with other men; some who'd given up hope, some who didn't care, some who were rough, he took them all on. And he recalled the first time he met Jun, feeling sick at the discovery of the mad man, and at the same time, he remembered as he first held that mad man, the edges of lust that gripped him. He recalled the times in the Den after that too, and the times outside it, with Jun, and the others.  
  
"It's something that I cannot describe, Sir," He answered finally, looking back at the onion-peeling chef to find that Jun had gone away from there. His eyes searched for him instinctively, and found him staring into a boiling pot, a chef offering him a ladle to stir it.  
  
"Do you regret being here, in the Chateau?" The old man's eyes pierced into his as he turned back to face him. It made him think, this man, really is no ordinary man. He thought really carefully on his answer to the question.  
  
"Recently, no."  
  
Chef Tomo nodded, as if he'd expected that.  
  
"But do you sometimes feel like you should get out of here, Sakurai Sho?"  
  
Sho was struck by the question. _That's twice being struck verbally by old men_ , he thought to himself, remembering the captain of the guards.  
  
Again, he thought carefully. It was as if the old man was testing him. Whether he was doing it on his own accord, or orders by the Madame, he could not tell.  
  
He thought of all the times he'd spent in here. There were good times, true, when he spent them with Nino, Aiba, Ohno and... Jun. But he remembered the hard times that came with them too. Having to be obedient at all times, to the Den, the Ballroom, the ladies, the Madame. He remembered his heart crushing twice because of Haruna and Yuki.   
  
He could not bear his heart being crushed a third time. He remembered the pain inflicted on him because of what happened between Nino and Jun. He remembered not being immune to the actions in the Den any longer, being sick because the man he did it with was not Jun. He flinched.  
  
"Maybe I do..." He whispered.  
  
Maybe he needed to escape from the harm the Chateau was doing to him. Maybe he needed to escape from anyone before they become the reason that will hurt him yet again. Before they become... dead, perhaps.  
  
But he knew he couldn't leave. It was too late.  
  
"Really now?" Sho couldn't read what was in the chef's mind at all. The chef picked up a knife, feeling the blade carefully with his finger.  
  
"You need to be more decisive of your thoughts lad. There will be decisions you need to make in life. Sometimes they come sooner, sometimes they come later."  
  
  
  
Jun lightly held Sho's arm sleeve happily as he walked them back inside the Root Wing. It seemed to be doing him a lot of good just being outside of the Wing for a little while. He was radiant with new discovery, having been able to try his hand at cooking. Well, at least, stirring soup and washing vegetables.  
  
 _He's meant to keep learning_ , Sho thought as he glanced sideways at the younger man, remembering how eagerly he'd taken up to drawing, and speaking again. The smile on his face was warm, and to Sho, it was addictive. He _needed_ to see that smile.  
  
And he realised, with sudden certainty, that he didn't give a _damn_ if that smile might cost him more pain later.  
  
"We'll continue your speaking lessons again alright?" He spoke out, facing the younger man.  
  
"Ssshh!" Jun agreed.  
  
The older man laughed. "You sound like you're asking me to hush, you know that? What, don't you want to continue the lessons?"  
  
The younger man looked a little taken aback and shook his head, a tinge of embarrassment on his cheeks. He pulled away from Sho, letting go of his arm.  
  
"Oh no, no," Sho said quickly, "I'm sorry, I was just teasing you. You're doing fine."  
  
The pink tinge was still there on his pale skin as he looked at Sho through lowered lashes.  
  
 _I've got to take better care of what I say,_ Sho thought, scowling at himself. _He must be embarrassed about the way he tries to talk... The sensitive type?_  
  
As they continued walking, Sho looked at the man beside him, as if observing him properly for the first time. The younger man was slender and tall, a little bit taller than Sho maybe, not that height mattered to him... much. This man who was messed up on the inside, who still yet possess a strong will for himself.  
  
He remembered the first time when he saw this man, noticing his fair skin and eyes. And then his wild, wild eyes. Broken.  
  
 _This man who had been taken, way before Sho ever met him. Touched, way before he could have even touched him._ Sho pushed down the uncomfortable jealous feeling that was emerging from within and focused back on observing Jun.  
  
Right now... When Sho looked at his eyes now, it seemed as if the broken pieces had begun gathering together, patching themselves. This man was still incomplete, may never be fully complete, but he was recovering speedily, and Sho was proud of him for it. Proud as if he owned him.  
  
 _But he isn't yours,_ a voice whispered. _Never was... Never from the start._  
  
Sho gritted his teeth.  
  
 _It's okay Sho_ , he told himself. _It doesn't matter that he was taken already. I'll make him mine. I've known about him, now he will know about me._  
  
He stopped walking, causing the other man to stop too.  
  
"Jun."  
  
Jun looked at him with questioning eyes.  
  
"Is it okay if I tell you about me?" He asked the younger man, who looked at him curiously. He gulped. "We'll talk in your room, alright?"  
  
  
  
Sho wasn't sure why, but after he told Jun about Haruna, he seemed to be have created a little distance between them. To a point that Sho almost regretted sharing his past with him.  
  
Jun had not greeted him when he came over to visit the next time, avoided contact with him as much as he could. Stopped smiling at him. He wondered if Jun now likes him lesser? But why?  
  
  
  
"He's jealous," Nino told him over a cup of tea. He seemed to have recovered a little from the experience in the Den. After all, he was an experienced performer.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He's jealous because you liked someone that much that you sacrificed your life in here."  
  
"But that's not why I'm here. I just..." He trailed off for a while. "Just don't have a place to return to." His voice came out weakly.  
  
"Sure doesn't look like it to me. I think I'm seeing it from Jun's point-of-view too." Nino was tracing the rim of his cup.  
  
"That's, that's ridiculous! She sold me, Nino."  
"You could have refused that responsibility Sho. You could still have gone off after that one year. And yet..." He stood up, and leaned across, jabbing Sho's chest with a finger.  
  
"Ow, hey!"  
  
"You actually stayed partly because you knew she'd be in danger didn't you?"  
  
"No, I-!" Nino glared at him and he shut his mouth. The younger man sighed as he returned back to his seat.  
  
"You're too nice, Sho."  
  
"So are you!" Sho retorted. "You just pretend-" Nino shot a warning look at him, daring him to say more. Wisely, he kept quiet again.  
  
"Can you just take it that he's jealous?"  
  
When Sho left, Nino headed back to his own room. For some reason, he could not shake off a feeling of uneasiness that clung to surrounding atmosphere. He sat down by his desk, and opened his laptop, pressing the power button and awaited for it to start up.  
  
As he waited, he happened to look out of the window, and saw a dark shadow devouring the pale white moon slowly.  
  
It had already covered almost half of the moon. _A lunar eclipse_ , he realised. He didn't know it was happening, but considering recent events, it would be understandable that he did not pay attention to the news.  
  
He watched entranced, as the dark shadow slowly turned translucent, bathing the moon in crimson shade instead, laptop forgotten. In what seemed like only a little time, the whole moon was covered in a grim red.  
  
 _A bad omen_ , Nino thought as he jolted out of his trance. He didn't believe in omens, but the thought had come strongly to him. Very strongly.  
  
 _A bad omen._  
  
  
  
Deep in Sho's heart, he knew it was mean, but he felt like he could skip with joy. Jun was jealous. Over him and Haruna. He wasn't always the only one doing the bit of being jealous then. It was an amazing feeling. He'd walked in to his room and started to get ready for bed, when a familiar cough echoed over his intercom.  
  
His heart sank. He hadn't heard that voice in a while, and he'd forgotten that it would always come back to him again.  
  
"My dear Sho." The voice confirmed his fears. Sweet, and filled with dark intention.  
  
"Yes, Madame?" He answered, his heart thudding, not with anticipation, definitely.  
  
"It's been a while hasn't it?" She asked, her voice maintaining that over-familiar sweetness.  
  
"Yes, Madame."  
  
"You've been a good boy throughout the experiment. I've attained such magnificent results."  
  
"Thank you Madame." _Where is she going with this?_ he wondered. He didn't like the sound of it at all. Yet, this setup seems all too familiar.  
  
"And now that we've almost reached the end of the experiment, I've a proposal for you; one I would like you to consider seriously."  
  
  
  
Sho couldn't sleep well that night. And when he woke up in the morning, his mind and heart still felt heavy with the new burden in them. The new burden given by the Madame. And Chef Tomo's words echoed in his head.  
  
 _"There will be decisions you need to make in life. Sometimes they come sooner, sometimes they come later."_  
  
 _But this is sooner,_ Sho thought wildly. He wondered for a moment whether Chef Tomo knew about this. His heart wasn't ready to make such a choice.  He looked at the time. _There's still a few hours left._  
  
"Just meet her first," the Madame had told him in a persuasive silky voice. "You can decide afterwards. This chance won't come again, dear. I've set it up for you tomorrow-"  
  
He needed to meet Jun, he decided. He just had to meet him.  
  
He bathed quickly and changed into fresh clothes, before walking out to the common room. As he walked out of the Wing, he noticed Aiba standing, staring out of the window, seemingly as if in deep thought.  
  
Remembering that something was disturbing the other man, he had the urge to call out to him, to try again to make him tell him what was wrong. But he decided that his situation was more urgent, something he had to settle now. Quietly, he exited the Wing, and headed for the Root Wing's main door. He hadn't used it in a while, but he decided he didn't have time to go through the secret route.  
  
  
  
  
Kazama gruffly opened the door, on the verge of scolding him. But something on Sho's face silenced him. He stepped aside to let the man through before closing the door. Yoko was there too, and opened his mouth, but Sho caught Kazama shaking his head from the corner of his eye. Yoko shut his mouth again.  
  
Jun was reading a book. It was a fairly thick book, Sho realised. His reading has progressed well, it seems. _He's been teaching himself. He really is a quick learner._  
  
It made Sho wonder what else Jun had improved on while he was alone in his room. He certainly must have lots of time on his hands. The young man looked up at Sho, and then hastily looked back at his book. Sho had expected it. But he knew now was not a good time to entertain's Jun's childishness.  
  
 _Jealousy is not childish_ , a voice at the back of his head scolded him. _You do it too._  
  
Another voice piped up, _But Jun prolonged his! This is just not done. It is definitely childish of him._  
  
Sho shook his head free of the voices and strode over to Jun, pulling the book away from him. Jun seemed to protest as he tried to take the book back, which Sho held just out of his reach. With his free hand, he took a firm grip of the younger man's collar and drew his face close to his.  
  
Jun paled and looked away as he huffed, tucking his arms.  
  
 _See? What did I tell you? Childish!_ The second voice in his head said, amused.  
  
 _He's just not used to this_ , the first voice told the second tiredly. _Remember what his lifestyle is like? Being a madman._  
  
 _Shut up!_ Sho thought to himself. The voices fell silent. The voices were his imagination of course, he knew that. Perhaps he was catching the madness disease, and then shook his head, annoyed with himself for thinking that way.  
  
"Jun, I need you to listen to me, please."  
  
Jun refused to look at him.  
  
"Now is not the right time for you to throw a tantrum." Sho told him, a little pleadingly. "I need to tell you something important."  
  
Perhaps the urgency in his voice got through to him. Jun turned to look at him grudgingly.  
  
"She's setting me free, Jun. She's allowing me to leave the Chateau."  
  
Jun's eyes widened. Sho knew he had to continue from there, even though it was hard to do so.  
  
"Haruna came and told her that she's giving up on her... lover, that she's transferring the responsibilities all back to him. She asked to meet me, and to set me free."  
  
There. He said it. He could see the change in Jun's expression. He couldn't read what it says exactly, but it wasn't good. It was definitely a new expression for the man.  
  
"I haven't decided anything of course, but I'm meeting Haruna later." He paused for a while. ""That's all I have to say. See you." He got up and turned towards the door. The heavy feeling in his chest had not become any lighter, but clearly, staying also won't make things any better.  
  
A hand reached out and held him by the arm.  
  
"Jun, let go."  
  
"Nn." _No._  
  
"Let go!" Sho didn't quite dare to look at the younger man.  
  
"Nn!" _No!_  
  
"Jun, don't be stubborn!" He shook off the hand and took a few steps towards the door.  
  
"Hsssh!" Sho still had no idea what that was supposed to mean but it sounded almost like a command from the younger man. Sho turned to look.  
  
Jun, clad in his simple, light lavender, loose-fitting pyjamas, standing facing Sho with a confronting stance, both his fists clenched by his sides, and a determined expression on his face, which demanded Sho not to go. It was decidedly cute, Sho thought, tickled.  
  
But just looking at Jun made him remember the decision that lay before him. To stay or to leave the Chateau forever... To stay with Jun, Nino, Aiba, Ohno... or to leave.... leave them all... leave the Madame and her 'experiments' and ideas and the suffering she had caused.  
  
It should have been an easy decision really. Or maybe not. He didn't know. He just knew that he had to meet Haruna at least one more time.  
  
"I'm going, Jun. You can't stop me." He turned back and walked to the door, leaving Jun behind calling him with the different variations of "Hssh!" or "SSsss!'.  
  
And when his hand was on the doorknob, there came a very soft shaky variation that he'd never heard before. Desperate. Surprised, he turned around.  
  
"Say that again."  
  
Jun was still in that stance, except that this time, his head was lowered, facing the ground, his eyes were shut tight, and his clenched fists were shaking. The stance of a desperate man indeed.  
  
"Say it again," Sho asked softly, his hand still on the doorknob. His heart had started thudding audibly in his chest.  
  
Jun looked up at him, and Sho noticed how the brim of his eyes were glinting, the threat of tears possibly. Yet Jun still bravely blinked them back, despite his nose having turned a shade of red.  
  
And then, it came again.  
  
"Shho..." It was coarse, and still more like a whisper than a normal voice, but it was unmistakeable.  
  
Sho lifted his hand off the doorknob gently.  
  
"Again." He felt his voice coming out soft and low. Jun shivered at the sound, but faced Sho with determined eyes.  
  
"Ssho..."  
  
"Again..." He walked towards Jun, steadily, but his heart was nearly jumping out of his chest, a fierce, happy rhythm. It felt as if something inside him was unleashed. He could see Jun shivering more as he watched Sho approach him. He could see the man clutching his pants nervously. In Sho's mind, whatever was unleashed had turned into something beyond control, but he didn't care.  
  
  
  
 _In his eyes there was only Sho. And there was only the things Sho do. At that very moment, only Sho filled up his sight and his senses. And only Sho made sense to him. And that was enough._  
  
He had wanted to stop him. Wanted to stop this man of light from walking out of the door. Because of this man, there were no longer any shadow-monsters lingering around, he knew that much. This man made them all vanish, even so much more better than his late grandfather had done.  
  
He was afraid of losing him, but not because he feared the shadows will come back, but just because he didn't want him to vanish off his life.  
  
There was an unpleasant feeling about in the air, and Jun sensed that if he did not stop him, something will happen. Something bad. And he had to especially stop him from meeting _her._  
  
Why would this grand person stay for a mad man, when he can have the important person from his childhood? When he can have a home again? Why stay in this place of tortures? He still remembered the time where the boy chatted so happily with the girl beside him as they passed by the river. How he did not dare to disturb them. He knew that must have been her.  
  
He cannot let him see her again. He wasn't able to win over this person in Sho's past; he could tell from the tone in Sho's voice when talked about her... He couldn't win.  
  
It was selfish, but he cannot let Sho go. He'd tried to call him back, call him from leaving, but it was difficult to get it right, as his tongue stumbled. And as the river boy, no, the man that was that much important to him, touched the doorknob, desperation overcame his tongue and he finally said it.  
  
 _Sho._  
  
That was the word that Sho's friend had tried to teach him. All this time, tried to teach him, whenever Sho was not there to listen.  
  
And now the man walking slowly towards him, his footsteps barely making any sound on the floor. There was something in the very way he moved, and something in the gleam of his eyes, that caused Jun's heart to be overcome with a different sort of fear.  
  
 _Again,_ he had demanded Jun to say his name. _Again._  
  
Jun was frightened by the promises that came unsaid with the man. And yet, he anticipated them too.  
  
"Shho...Sho...Sh- Nh!" Jun gasped as Sho embraced him abruptly, arms wrapped around the younger man so tightly, it was as if he wanted to crush him.  
  
He was being rough today. He was showing a different side of him, Jun understood. This was a part of him too, suppressed beneath the kindness that he'd always bestowed him. He'd felt it before, during their times together, the many times Sho had forced himself to push that side away.  
  
 _It didn't matter, as long as it kept Sho from leaving._  
  
Sho pulled away from the embrace, and looked at Jun in the eye, cupping his left cheek in his right hand. His gaze was so strong, that Jun wondered if he saw all the shadows that he had within him, whether he saw more than that? It was a hot burning gaze that made him instinctively blush.  
  
"Jun..." He had leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Say my name again." Obediently, his heart thudding with the new fear, he almost choked out,  
  
"Sh- Sho-!" As he said the name of the man, a mouth closed over his, a familiar sensation that he felt not too long ago. But it was different this time.  
  
Instead of a gentle, comforting warmth, this time it was a rough, brazen, fiery feeling, demanding for more. He felt Sho gripping his arms tightly as they kissed. He didn't hate the feeling. But then something new came yet again. A tongue licked between his lips, as if seeking an entrance.  
  
He wasn't sure what it meant, nor what he was supposed to do. A little shocked, he did the only thing he could do instinctively, and parted his lips. Almost instantly, Sho invaded his mouth, plunging themselves into a deeper kiss, searching and exploring. Demanding.  
  
Jun could feel his knees weakening greatly, as he tried to respond to the tongue in his mouth as best as he could, and knew he would have sunk and hit them on the floor had it not been for Sho still holding on to him tightly.  
  
For a moment, everything was white.  
  
Sho finally broke the kiss as he watched Jun's face, a little concerned. Jun gasped for air and panted, and felt Sho loosening his grip finally, his legs giving way, as he slid to the floor. Sho knelt on the ground, this time one hand supporting Jun's back as Jun covered his mouth.  
  
It was a new rough sensation, he observed, but it was very, very pleasant for him. His cheeks felt warm as Sho's eyes remained on him. Concerned though he seemed, Jun could still feel the heat burning clearly in this man. _There's more to come_ , he realised. Sho wasn't going to stop. Not today.  
  
Once he was convinced that Jun seemed to be alright, he placed his hand and stroked Jun's hair from the side as he went in for another kiss. Jun relented to that kiss too, but Sho broke away from that kiss a little too fast, leaving Jun a little confused. But then the older man tugged on his arm, pulling Jun towards his bed.  
  
After those few times in the Den, Jun realised what a bed means when you share it with another person. His heart beat in anticipation, yet his whole being was trembling.  
  
The both of them sat facing each other on the bed, visibly nervous despite having united before.  
  
It's different this time, Jun knew. He could feel the knowledge within the way Sho's eyes held him, within the way his own body anticipated it. He took the time to take in the image of Sho slowly. The man, he realised now that he had seen so many people, was very good-looking as compared to others. He was cladded in jeans and an ebony black vest which was worn over a v-neck white cotton shirt, which only thinly veiled the well-formed muscles on his arms and chest. And he was on fire.  
  
Jun feared the blazing wave that he radiated, but at the same time, he was pulled by it.  
  
"I'm not holding back today." Sho told him with the same low voice he had been using, confirming what Jun had thought. He felt the hair on his arms standing on its ends. He shivered yet again.  
  
The older man pushed him down with a soft thump, his back on the mattress, and straddled on top of him. Jun felt himself blushing.  
  
The man who taught him about drawing had recently told him what it really meant to be doing this sort of... act. 'Ohno' was his name, if he remembered right. He finally understood the time Sho had warned him off from doing it with anyone else, and felt the happiness that Sho had chosen him to be the one. And yet, he found it a little embarassing.  
  
"Shho..." He whispered as he stared up at the man, his fringe  his face darkened by shadow, his heart thumping. It was the only thing he could say, and so he said it.  
  
"Sshh..." Sho hushed him, and then chuckled a little, amused. "Now I sound like you." Jun wasn't sure whether he should be offended, but was distracted as felt the lower part of Sho's body rubbed against his thigh. He felt blood rushing up his face.  
  
There was that 'interest' too, he was taught. It meant a lot, Ohno had told Jun, as they sat alone, the two of them in his room the other time, pencils and sketchbooks in hand. He definitely could feel that 'interest' now, against his legs. With a jolt of realisation, he felt his own interest forming. He covered his eyes and as much of his face with his right hand, hiding the blush on it.  
  
"Nnh."  
  
"Jun?" He felt Sho lifting himself off him. He realised he must have made a mistake. Not wanting him to go away, he clutched the other man's vest and pulled him back on him. Sho gasped a little, and then found himself staring straight at Jun's face. He chuckled and kissed Jun's cheek. It was yet another first.  
  
Jun wondered what had happened to the usual gentle Sho. It was all gone, and the other side of him was coming out even stronger.  
  
"Very cute, Jun." Sho had whispered, rubbing harder against him.  
  
  
  
Sho observed the man beneath him, wriggling with obvious embarrassment, his face flushed pink. Sho tried to get a grip on himself, but felt all the control that he had built up over the years in the Den slipping away so easily before this younger man. _It was too much_ , he had decided, _when the first word he speaks again, is my name._  
  
He could strongly feel the pheromones Jun was throwing out without warning, and gave in to those pheromones, and the desire he had withheld for so long. He'd bent over, kissing the man on his lips yet again, throwing him off-guard. As he felt the young man responding to his kiss, slyly, he slipped a hand underneath his pyjamas top.  
  
Jun gasped into his mouth. Sho grinned against his lips, deepening the kiss, not allowing Jun any openings for protest as his hand searched the man's upper body.  
  
Finding a ripe bud, he nipped it between his fingers, earning a more sensuous gasp from the younger man. He broke the kiss, and worked his lips down to the man's bare neck. _It's been so long_ , he realised, since I held him. His fingers beneath the top were unrelenting, not even taking a break as they worked on Jun. His lips couldn't stop kissing the fair skin of the man, from his neck, to his collarbone and... the top was in the way.  
  
Removing his hand for the moment, he began to unbutton the top instead. Jun didn't stop him, merely breathing a little heavily as he looked up at Sho. Sho could feel the growing desire beneath his own, but he wanted to take it at a slower pace.  
  
After unbuttoning the top all the way, Sho tugged at it, silently making Jun lift himself a bit so that he could remove it, leaving the man beneath him topless, revealing his all-too-ripe buds for Sho's easier access. The older man didn't hesitate, immediately bending over and nipped and nibbled on one of the buds with his lips instead, leaving both his hands free to explore the rest of his body, especially teasing his abdomen.  
  
Little moans escaped Jun's lips, and a hand gripped Sho's arm, tightening, asking for more. Sho smiled and moved a hand down, sliding it inside the pyjama pants. Jun gasped and tried to push him away. Sho stopped, hand still inside, and looked at Jun, a little puzzled.  
  
Jun had turned red, and his face reveals the hesitation he was facing. The slight... fear?  
  
But then, Jun reached his hand out, attempting to unbutton Sho's vest. Sho smiled at the man's daring decision to continue.  
  
He helped Jun along his away as he unbuttoned his vest too, tossing it aside, his shirt following soon after. Jun sat up a little, and their naked upper bodies met with an impact as their lips do too in a surely blazing battle, drowning in each other's heat.  
  
  
  
Jun found himself on his back again, and with Sho's hand eagerly sliding into his pants yet again. He gasped as the hand introduced him once more to the pleasure he had felt some time back, minus the time he had done it with that man who was close to Sho. _Ni..no?_  
  
The strong hand pumped him hard, despite the limitations within the pants. Jun gripped the wrist of that hand, stopping it, and indicated the waistband of his pants to Sho. He understood at once, his eyes glinting in the light as he quickly freed Jun of his pants. After a moment's thought, he removed his own jeans, leaving Jun's cheeks with a slight tinge of pink at the sight of the body in its full splendour.  
  
 _You chose this_ , Jun thought firmly.  
  
As he looked at the man on top of him, body glinting with sweat and heat, the man who looked at him with such open desire, the younger man felt himself even more wanting than before. Wanting to feel the man's everything. Wanting to share his whole body with him. Not knowing quite what boldness had overtaken him, he reached a hand out to hold on to Sho's intense, dark desire. The older man gasped, visibly taken aback.  
  
Determined, he pumped the man's length as he had done his earlier. Sho's leg folded beneath him, a heavy addition on Jun, but it didn't really matter to him. It made him happy to see Sho's face filled with a sense of excitable pleasure. He moved his hand beneath the length, and teased the other parts. Sho panted now, and his desire was harder than ever as it began to drip. He moved in to kiss Jun's throat, no, nibble on it, a little roughly. Jun flinched a little at the pain.  
  
Sho's hand moved to Jun's hand pleasuring him between his legs, and brought it away, to the side of his head on the bed. Removing himself from Jun's throat, he positioned himself on top of him properly, so that both their raw, hardened interests were rubbing against each other.  
  
For a moment, there was nothing but friction of skin against skin, nothing but the sound of moans and gasps and pantings. But at the moment Jun thought he was nearly ready to release, to relief himself, Sho pulled himself away from him.  
  
Indignantly, Jun looked at him, but found himself facing a Sho whose face was filled with lust that his chest ache with the throbbing desire that followed. Then again, there was also that sensational, neglected throb in between his legs.  
  
"Sho..." He pleaded, in that coarse, incomplete whisper he had. Sho shook his head. He walked, naked, to his jeans, searching for something in his pocket. He found whatever it was and returned back to him, but not getting back on the bed yet. Jun looked at his hand. It was a small tube. Sho unscrewed its cap, and squeezed it a bit, revealing some sort of gel inside.  
  
Jun glanced back at Sho, not quite sure what to make of it. Sho, to his surprise, was smiling at him a little apologetically, a glimpse of the kinder side of him peeking through again.  
  
"Actually, I thought it might come to this," Sho admitted. "It might hurt at first, but bear with it, it'll be alright." Sho knelt on the bed between Jun's legs and parted them slowly.  
  
Jun wasn't sure what was going on, but something in his head began thudding, and his body felt a somehow vaguely familiar, ugly sensation coursing through it. And he realised he was no longer anticipating it. He was scared.  
  
  
  
All Sho wanted was to possess every part of his body, as much as his heart. He couldn't be the first, but he wanted to at least be the last. He'd place a finger spread with the lube that he had brought inside Jun, hoping to ready him. He'd done it before, with other men, so he was sure it was the correct way to do it, even though it had been a while since he'd last done it.  
  
The younger man had gasped, but Sho had expected that. He didn't realise how the man was trembling. He didn't realise how shaken the man was. How afraid he had become. All he saw was how beautiful the man was, all he felt was how much he wanted the man. He'd inserted another finger, too engrossed with his own desire.  
  
 _Slap!_  
  
"...Jun?" Sho touched the smarting pain on his cheek, staring wide-eyed at the younger man before him. Jun had retreated from him, his hand still in the air, his palm probably just as red as Sho's cheek, shivering, trembling, eyes wild with fear.  
  
Staring at Sho with fear.  
  
It was an awful feeling, Sho realised, to be feared by someone who mattered the most to you. A terribly awful feeling. His heart dropped at the sight, and he knew he had been in the wrong.  
  
For a moment, he himself feared that Jun might have remembered the past. But then he realised that, no, it was just an instinctive reaction. A reaction his subconscious mind must have developed ever since that time. Sho couldn't blame him for hitting him. He deserved it, that smack on his cheek.  
  
 _He's still not ready for this._ He saw Jun's eyes clearing up, as he turned to stare at his raised hand, terrified by what he had just done. He saw Jun turning back to him, opening his mouth, trying to say something, but not being able to do so. He saw Jun, clenching his hands on his legs, looking down, clearly upset with himself, shaking his head.  
  
 _Sorry,_ he seemed to say.  
  
"No, no. I'm the one who should be sorry Jun." He said, voice coming out softly, and a little painfully. He didn't want this. He didn't want Jun to be scared like this. He didn't want Jun to apologise. "I'm sorry."  
  
Jun shook his head again. For a moment, he seemed anguished, but the next moment, lifted Sho's slicked fingers, bringing them slowly to his legs. Sho knew he was telling him to continue. But he could see the younger man's hands shaking. Badly.  
  
Sho took his hand away from the man's grasp, and told him. "No, that's enough Jun." The younger man fumbled, trying to grab his hand again, but Sho held away from him.  
  
"No, Jun."  
  
A single drop of tear ran down Jun's cheek, his eyes now red. He dropped his hands, but he was still trembling.  
  
"Shit-No, please stop." Sho reached out to him, but Jun drew back from him slightly. "Please Jun, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm not going to force you to do it either alright? I'm fine like this, see?" Jun shook his head furtively, covering his face with crossed arms. At that moment, all desire forgotten, and only what stood remaining was Sho's aching heart at that sight.  
  
He didn't care that Jun drew away from him, that Jun's not looking at him. He threw his arms around the younger man, wrapping him in a tight embrace, cradling him in his arms. In response, Jun's hands shakily slid around his back, accepting his comfort, head leaning against his chest and for a long while, the two stayed in that position.  
  
  
  
When they hugged, there was only one thought in Jun's mind.  
  
 _He's going to leave me. And all because I was too scared to continue._  
  
  
  
When Sho realised it, the man in his arms was already asleep, surely tired. Slowly, he laid the man down properly on the bed, placing his head on his pillow carefully. He stood up, seeing Jun's blanket on the ground beside the bed, and picked it up. He shook it out, and covered the nude body of the sleeping man before him as gently as he could. For a moment, he looked at the sleeping face of the younger man, indulging in it.  
  
After a few minutes, he looked at the time. There was still a bit of time left. He walked towards the door before turning back to the figure on the bed.  
  
 _Please wait for me_ , he thought.

And quietly, always facing Jun, his eyes capturing the peaceful expression on his face, wanting to memorise it, he backed out of the door, and left the room.

 

+++

 

Yoko and Kazama confronted him almost as soon as he closed the door shut, signalling him to move further away, to follow them. Once they were out of listening distance from Jun's room, he found himself instantly backed into a corner.  
  
"You smell of Jun." Kazama told him. Even worse, and even more directly from Yoko,  
  
"You reek of sex."  
  
Sho felt color flushing into his face.  
  
"Didn't we tell you not to do it in there?" They really weren't joking, Sho realized, as they glared angrily at him, no, furiously. This was more than just a matter of cleaning up the aftermath.  
  
"Why are you guys this angry? We've done this in the Den before. Aren't you already used to the idea of the both of us?" He asked. Yoko snorted.  
  
"So what? Just because we are used to it, doesn't mean we like it."  
  
"This time was different, wasn't it?" Kazama asked quietly. Sho felt his hair rise. _How does he tell_? "Am I not right?" He pursued.  
  
"You're going to hurt him." Yoko added. He had calmed down, and the eerieness of this calmness scared Sho even more. He looked at the two of their solemn faces and was struck to find that they had been thinking that of him all this time.  
  
"You've hurt him, haven't you?" Kazama asked.  
  
"No-well-yes, I mean-no! Not ye- I mean, we didn't..." Sho stammered before trailing off.  
  
"Look pal," Yoko began walking to his other side, eyes sharp on him. "I will admit, that because you came, he has improved greatly."  
  
"The- then-?"  
  
"But we cannot approve your relationship with him. There's something about you, that will only cause him disappointment."  
  
Sho was indignant. How demented can these two get? How can they say that he would disappoint Jun, that he would hurt him. Demented like... he had that thought before, he realised. He chuckled, surprising them.  
  
"What, you bastard?!" Yoko growled at him. "What's so funny?" He laughed harder, clutching at his stomach. Both men stared at him.  
  
"Do- do you guys realise-" he said in between laughter, "that you sound like a pair of overprotective older brothers?"  
  
Both Kazama and Yoko turned red, as they looked at each other.  
  
"What are you saying?" Kazama sputtered. "We're his guardians. Naturally, we should protects his interests."  
  
"Guardians my foot." Sho grew even more confident as he straightened himself and leaned in to Kazama, who stepped back a little. "Guardians won't give a damn who their little ward chooses to sleep with. They won't give a damn whether their ward gets hurt emotionally or not. Not in this Chateau."  
  
Kazama shifted uncomfortably, and Yoko growled again, although much less fierce than before. _Idiots_ , Sho thought. _They'd grown fond of Jun, but hadn't realised it._ _That_ was why they had kept his door unlocked sometimes. It wasn't just because he kept having visitors. _They wanted to give him that bit of freedom. The bit of freedom they'd given Aiba before._  
  
 He coughed, wondering he was a little touched, and then faced them seriously.  
  
"But I'm not going to let him down. I will not hurt him nor disappoint him, and whatever else you think I would do to him. And you should have a little more faith in him. He's a stronger person than you think. Not some weak useless fool. I will never take him for granted."  
  
They looked at him quietly, as if evaluating his words in their mind.  
  
"And that's me. How about you?" He lowered his voice. "Would he be in good hands around you, I wonder?" That stirred them.  
  
"What the hell do you take us for?" Yoko told him indignantly.  
  
"Who do you think took care of him even before you butt in, you sex-freak?" Sho wanted to protest, wanted to say that he didn't manage to go all the way, but wisely decided to not say anything about it. Instead, he said to them,  
  
"Good then. I shall be leaving now." He paused at the doorway and looked back at them. They looked back at him, and what seemed to be a quiet understanding passed through their eyes.  
  
He closed the door behind him. There was one or two more stops he had to make.  
  
+++  
  
"Don't go. It's a trap, surely." Nino told him, his eyes still on his laptop. Sho wasn't sure what he was doing, but he wouldn't even leave his eyes off the screen for a moment.  
  
"I think so too," Sho admitted. But if there was a chance to meet Haruna again... there were many things he wanted to say, even if he didn't go back with her. "But..."  
  
"It's Madame, do you really think she'll honor her word?"  
  
"I..."  
  
Nino slammed his mouse down impatiently as he finally turned to face Sho.  
  
"Don't you already have Jun?"  
  
"I do but..." Sho wrapped his arms around himself, still feeling the warmth and scent of Jun's body surrounding him, still less than an hour ago. And the cool tears that was pressed against his neck. But he had to meet Haruna.  
  
"You're a greedy man." Nino told him disapprovingly.  
  
"I'm not! I-" Sho faltered a bit. "I just wanted to see her again, talk to her one more time, properly... close things up."  
  
"Listen to me, Sho. Don't do it. I have a really bad feeling about this-"  
  
"I can't do that Nino. This is a once in a lifetime chance. Don't stop me."  
  
Nino sighed in frustration.  
  
"Me? Stop you?" Nino put up his hands, as if in surrender. "Not me. Go right ahead and walk into a trap. Have fun."  
  
"Nino..."  
  
"Are you going away with her then?"  
  
Sho was shocked at the directness. But he answered still.  
  
"No. Nino. No."  
  
"... Fine. Go. But if its a trap, don't expect me to save you."  
  
Sho heaved a sigh of relief. This was what he came to Nino for.  
  
"If... If this is a trap and I don't come back, I want you to still continue to look after Jun for me, please?"  
  
Nino stared at him for a moment, before whacking him on the shoulder.  
  
"Ow! What was that for?"  
  
"You fool. Just go. Take a bath before you go. You are full of sweat."  
  
"Fine, fine." Still rubbing his shoulder, he headed out. "Just be safe," he heard Nino mutter behind him. Even then, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something terrible was about to happen.  
  
+  
  
Aiba saw Sho heading out of the Wing, a determined expression on his face. He approached Nino, who'd been in the common room, seeing him out, asking him where Sho was going. When he told him, Nino observed Aiba's face turning pale, observed him as he ran out to stop him, watched him come back again when he discovered Sho had disappeared already.  
  
"You won't be able to stop him once he's determined, Aiba." Nino told him, sitting down on a sofa, watching the tall man still.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Aiba..." Nino said, eyes moved towards the wristband on his wrist instead, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"You know basically about us right now right?"  
  
"Yes...?"  
  
"How about you Aiba? How did you end up here?"  
  
"...." Aiba sat down opposite of him, a serious look on his face.  
  
"Don't you know then Nino?"  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"You... you seem to know about everybody. Wouldn't you know about me?"  
  
"Nope. I didn't really think about it. Tell me."  
  
Aiba stood up and smiled a little crookedly at him.  
  
"It's not much to talk about really. I didn't have a job, nor money, so somehow, I ended up here."  
  
Nino pursed his lips. He was being a bit too vague. And there was that matter about him being from the Root Wing. "...But something's bothering you right now?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"Um...No..."  
  
Nino sighed exasperatedly. He held out his wrist at Aiba. The scar was no longer there but that wasn't the point.  
  
"You realised about this, and you felt that something was wrong, and you wanted to help me, didn't you?"  
  
Aiba ran a hand through his hair as he looked at Nino with eyes that didn't reveal much.  
  
"That's for you Nino. I've nothing wrong going on." He smiled again.  
  
Nino gave him a long, good stare. Aiba's smile faltered slightly and then he laughed.  
  
"Seriously," he waved his hand dismissively at Nino as he left him there. "Thanks for the concern though yeah?"  
  
NIno thought to himself for a short while, while sitting alone, before disappearing into his room, locking the door behind him.  
  
+++  
  
Sho's heart was beating in trepidation at the thought of what to expect as he approached the appointed place.  
  
What does Madame have in store for him? Was it really a trap or was this for real? What exactly will he be seeing when he finally reaches his destination?  
  
Though these doubts ran through his head over and over, his will to meet Haruna remained strong, and he walked on. His footsteps were well-paced as they resounded in the hollow echoes of the grand corridor of the Chateau.  
  
Until he arrived, and the footsteps stopped.  
  
 There she was, standing at the entrance of the Chateau, the light shining through the doorway, illuminating her figure. Sho wasn't sure what to think. It really was her. It wasn't a trap. Not as far as he could see at least. He took a step closer.  
  
And she turned, causing Sho to hold his breath. She'd grown a little older, and so had he. Her face was thinner, her jawbones gained a sharper look, and her eyes, like his, carried a heavy burden in them. Still, she was beautiful.  
  
"Haruna," was the only word he could say.  
  
"Sho..." Her eyes first lit with recognition at the sight of him, and then lowered themselves again, as if she was too ashamed to see him. _Which_ , Sho thought, _she probably was._  
  
+++  
  
They sat in the isolated lobby, on a bench carved of polished mahogany, side by side, not quite facing each other.  
  
"How... how are you?" She asked, in a mellow voice. Sho shrugged. Many things he had wanted to say, to tell her, but nothing was coming out of his lips. He just couldn't find it in him to say a single word.  
  
"Listen..." She continued awkwardly, as Sho glanced sideways. "I... I know there's no point saying it now, but I'm sorry."  
  
 _Well, that was pretty direct._  
  
He couldn't say that he'd forgiven her. He couldn't lie like that. Not after the many pain she had inflicted on him. He felt a dull throb growing slowly in his head.  
  
"Sho..."  
  
He looked at her.  
  
"Come back, Sho. Get out of this place... I've come to take you home." She sounded so unsure, so hesitant.  
  
He looked away. And then he felt her reach a hand out and touch him on the shoulder. He shook it away.  
  
"Sho... There's no reason why you should continue suffering here... Come back, I'll make it up to you-"  
  
Sho stood up abruptly, causing the young lady to flinch. The throbbing was even more persistent in his head at the moment.  
  
"Easy for you to say!" He retorted. It was maddening. _How can she even think of asking such a thing?_ He took a deep breath and continued.  
  
"First you dropped me here, like your disposable possession, and now you think I want to follow you back just because you asked me too?"  
  
"I didn't-"  
  
"Yes you thought it just like that! You dropped me here, _sold_ me, and continued a dilly-dally life with that boyfriend of yours."  
  
"The picture is not as pretty as you painted it to be!" She stood up too. Sho could see that he'd pissed her off somehow but he didn't care.  
  
"Don't you think how much I lived with that guilt inside me? Don't you think I suffered?! Everytime I see him, I think of you. And unlike you, he's a hopeless man. He's too blinded by the pursues for wealth that he'd forgotten money isn't all that matters. He's really hopeless..."  
  
"Then why, why did you choose him?" _And why did you sell me away?_  
  
"Because he told me he loves me."  
  
Sho stopped any retort he had in mind and stared back at her, gaping. Then he started again.  
  
"Look, just because a guy tells you that, doesn't mean-"  
  
"Because you didn't." She interrupted, her eyes glaring at him heatedly.  
  
He felt as if he had been slapped across his face. _Ah, so it's like this..._  He finally realised it. And yet, was it not unfair of her?  
  
"How- how would I know? You never showed me any signs before."  
  
She sighed impatiently, her fingers grasped together as she continued meeting Sho's eyes evenly.  
  
"I did. Many times. But you never seemed to notice it. You've shown me over and over again, when you went out with different girls, that you were clearly not interested in me."  
  
"But-!" But Haruna was on a roll, and she was furious.  
  
"Haven't you noticed, that I've never even went out once, with any guy, during high school?! Never! But no, you were always out there with some girl or another, leaving me alone! You stopped talking to me, always ignoring me. We were supposed to be friends, weren't we?"  
  
"Wait- What?"  
  
"You are a self-pleasing bastard, did you know that?!" She raged, her body trembling with anger. "A jerk! Someone who only thinks for himself!" Sho never saw it like that. He didn't know that by avoiding Haruna, all he ever achieved was to bring pain to her instead of the happiness he had wanted to give.  
  
"I'm no-"  
  
"And yet." Haruna's voice suddenly turned quiet and wobbly. "Yet... I still loved you." She covered her mouth with two hands, looking down at the floor.  
  
At that moment, Sho saw properly, the girl that he had once loved, a few years back. And he saw a girl who was afraid, a girl who had lost so much. A girl whose heart must have been broken so many times.  
  
"Haruna..." The pain that she must have felt, he could feel it too.  
  
"I loved you, Sho. But not once, did you return that feeling." She was still covering her mouth, but tears ran down her cheeks uncontrollably.  
  
He looked down. _Why didn't you tell me then?_ He wanted to ask her. But he couldn't. Because it wasn't his right to ask, for someone like him, when he too didn't say the same thing.  
  
But their reasons were different. He was a coward, too afraid to tell. But Haruna was a proud person. He knew her well. She would never confess love, because to her, the guy should be the one to confess. He'd known it as long as he'd known her. That is, untll now. Until desperation had grabbed hold of her.  
  
"That's not true, and you know it. I... I was just afraid to come clean. I was afraid I'd lose your friendship."  
  
"I waited even though I shouldn't have. I waited for you, because I was sure someday you'd come."  
  
"I'm sorry, Haruna."  
  
How weird that the tables had turned so that he was now the one apologising.  
  
"I was tired of waiting. Tired of so much uncertainty... I couldn't be sure whether you really did think of me in that way or not. More then once, I thought I was just being plain delusional. Crazy. I really did think so. And then, _he_ came along. Told me the words I've always wanted to hear from you."  
  
She paused for a while before continuing.  
  
"The words I've always waited for from you. It felt like he cleared up a dense fog which had been residing inside me for so long when he told me that. And so I accepted him."  
  
"..."  
  
"I know... it was still no excuse to sell you off... I'm not sure why I did it myself."  
  
Sho wondered whether the thoughts in his head being messed up at the moment was part of Madame's calculations, but decided even she can't go that far. He wondered why it was that he was muddled up now.   
  
"Hey, Sho..."  
  
He looked at Haruna, who held a glimmer of hope in her eyes.  
  
"Come back with me Sho. We... we can start over." She reached out and took his hands in hers.  
  
He stared at their hands together.  
  
"Sho? Please?"  
  
He thought of it for a while. A life outside the Chateau. No more Ballroom duties, no more Den duties, no more Madame.  
  
He knew the answer before, so clearly, but now... he wasn't so sure. No more Madame was rather a tempting thought, really. And then the other thoughts crashed in.  
  
No more Nino, Ohno, Aiba... Jun.  
  
 _Haruna knew_. In a way, she suspected what his feelings for her were. Perhaps she had given him hints and he didn't notice, but why must she still go with that man despite knowing how he felt for her? Did she tire of his obliviousness? Or did she just tire of him?   
  
Or perhaps they were really never meant to be.  
  
His mind cleared up, scornful of the momentary weakness he had displayed. He pulled his hands away from her and straightened up. Still, it was hard to say the next words, knowing that he might break her heart again, but he had to.  
  
"No, Haruna, I can't," came his answer quietly. He did not dare to look directly into her eyes.  
  
"...Why? Why not?" Her voice was a mere whisper, but it went straight through his chest.  
  
The answer was in his body, in his heart, in his mind. The answer was there for the years he had been in the Chateau. The answer was there with the people that resides within it.  
  
"I have friends here. And... There's... there's someone in here who needs me. And I need that somebody too."  
  
He looked up at her. Her eyes met his, locked onto his for a long time, as if reading what they might contain.  
  
"Have you... found someone then?" She asked quietly. _Someone you love more than me?_ They grew up together, and she understood him only too well. He understood her too.  
  
For a split moment, he hesitated again.  
  
He had loved the young girl she was, to the woman she became. Deep within, he still cared about her despite her using him, throwing him into the Chateau.  
  
But...  
  
"Yes, Haruna, I've found someone." The word was there; he HAD loved. Right now, the only person who mattered to him the most, was not the young woman in front of him. Was not the friend he had grown up with. Was not the person whom he had loved for so many years.  
  
The person whom mattered the most to him was the one who had filled the him whose heart had been voided of emotions after spending the few years in the Chateau. The person who made him feel human again. The person who was a paradox between a child who didn't know anything and a matured young man who understood situations well enough to make his own decisions.  
  
 _Yes, right now, someone else occupies that small important space in his chest. And he will treasure that person for as long as he can._  
  
+++  
  
She had nodded, indicating that she had understood, but she didn't continue anymore on that. Instead, they sat and talked, about the normal life outside the Chateau, talked about Auntie and Uncle, talked about work and news.  
  
He saw her through the door, pretending not to see the tears that were in her eyes. He was cold, he knew, but she wouldn't have liked it either if she knew he had seen them. She'd have hated his sympathy.  
  
He'd given her a farewell hug in the end, just a friendly hug, and she had told him to come visit when he was finally out of the Chateau, that she would still welcome him.  
  
Deep inside, he wondered if he'd ever get out... Whether he'd be able to get Jun out with him. Jun, and Nino and Aiba... Everyone. He wanted to get out with everyone.  
  
But how could they?  
  
He turned to walk back to the Root Wing hurriedly, where Jun must have been waiting for him. He remembered how the younger man had been desperate enough to not let him go, remembered the embrace that they shared in the room.  
  
He quickened his steps towards the Wing, wanting to assure the man that he was still there, that everything was alright. That he was safe.  
  
As he walked in through the secret route, he remembered how frightened the man had been when he'd tried to enter him.  
  
It won't happen again, Sho renewed his resolution. I will wait until he is ready.  
  
As he walked in the Wing, he noticed Jun's door was open. Yoko and Kazama must be in there, maybe warning him about Sho. Sho smiled a little warily, and entered the room.  
  
He stopped in his tracks.  
  
The bed was disarrayed, with the sheets in a mess, and the pillows on the floor. It looked like there might have been a bit of a struggle there.  
  
Jun wasn't in the room. No one was.


	10. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW. Reading this chapter? Good luck to you.

He’d wanted Jun to wait for him when he comes back. However, the next time they met face-to-face, Jun was no longer the same person.  
  
+++  
  
 _She took him._  
  
Sho knew it straightaway. He could feel it in his bones as he stared at the slightly messed up room before him. She took Jun away while he was meeting up with Haruna. He slowly entered the room, not quite believing the missing presence of the person he’d just seen earlier that day.  
  
 _Did Jun fight back?_  
  
His hands brushed lightly against the bed, which he had only been making love on a few hours back, as he knelt beside it. His mind was a blank, not quite accepting the reality before him. Just a few hours ago, he’d left the young man asleep, sure that he would be there still awaiting his return. Yet he wasn’t.  
  
 _I need to find Jun_ , he thought, _but where? Where the hell could he be?_  
  
He could still feel Jun’s bittersweet warmth in his arms, the way the body had trembled at his touch, the way the man had tried to stop him. Panic was slowly creeping up inside him. Sho crossed his arms, each gripping the opposite, finding it suddenly hard to breathe properly. Nino had said it was a trap, but Sho didn’t listen. _How stupid!_  
  
But Madame wasn’t playing fair. She wasn’t supposed to involve Jun at all. He felt as if his windpipe was closing on him. Why can’t I breathe? he thought as he clutched his throat with his right hand. He coughed.  
  
 _Did she know? Did she know he’d been visiting Jun? If so... why does she know so much? How did she know so much?_  
  
He quickly got up and turned to the door, heading out of Jun’s room. Maybe there was something he missed. _After all, where was Kazama and Yoko? What happened to them? They were supposed to look after him weren’t they?_  
  
But they weren’t in the common room. There were absolutely no signs whatsoever of where they could be. Then he heard it. A slight clicking sound. It came from the direction of the main door of Root Wing. Without thinking, Sho approached it and realised that it was slightly open. _Why in the world would it be open though? It’s supposed to be locked._  
  
He reached out and opened the door. A body fell in. For an instant, Sho wondered frantically whether someone had been murdered. But then the body was breathing, even panting.  
  
“Wait a minute... Aiba?” Sho quickly went to his side. “Aiba!”  
  
Aiba opened his eyes and looked at Sho. Aiba was wounded, face bruised with the area underneath his eye turning blue-black, bleeding from his mouth, scratches on his cheek and other wounds at different parts of his body, Sho observed, and his outfit looking the worse for the wear.  
  
“What happened?” Sho asked him.  
  
“Huh..? Oh S-sho.” Aiba jolted as if he just realised who it was. “Sho! They took him away. Some guards took him!”  
  
“Where?”  
  
Aiba clutched him by the collar, frantically talking.  
  
“I’m sorry Sho! I was there, I tried to stop them. They gave him some sort of injection. Yoko and Kazama tried to stop them too! But-” Aiba was trembling.  
  
“Where are they? Where is Jun? Aiba, calm down!”  
  
“I don’t know where Yoko and Kazama are. Some other guards took them away, said they’ve committed an offense against the Madame. They said...” Aiba faltered. “They pointed at me, saying that me being there was proof of the offense. Then they beat me up.”  
  
Sho felt his heart sinking. Was she punishing them because they let Aiba (and even him and the others) in? But...  
  
“Then what about Jun?”  
  
“He was sleeping when I came... For some reason, he was...” Aiba stopped and looked at Sho, considering something. _Naked._ Sho refused to meet his eyes. “Anyway I was just talking to him before they came over. They forced themselves in, took Jun.”  
  
“And then...?”  
  
“He fought. But then they took out a syringe. I don’t know whats inside Sho... but he was knocked out pretty fast. I tried to stop them then and that’s when Yoko and Kazama came to see what was going on...”  
  
“Where did they take him, Aiba? Why are you outside?”  
  
“After they beat me up, I tried to follow them out the door, but they beat me up some more. Then they threw him in there...” Aiba pointed his finger at the door across the corridor. Den X.  
  
“A Den duty?” Sho clenched his fists. “But Jun would fight back wouldn’t he? What’s the point of forcing him to go? Why were they so rough? It’s not like they’ve never taken him to the Den before.”  
  
“This time...” Aiba paused to think. “She won’t allow him to fight back. That’s why they injected him right?”  
  
“No...”  
  
Sho’s heart hammered in his chest. In a way, what Aiba said just might make sense. He didn’t like the thought of it.  
  
 _Why won’t she risk him fighting back this time?_ He approached the door and turned the knob. It was locked.  
  
“It’s no good. I’ve tried.” Aiba told him, still half-lying in the Root Wing’s entryway. Sho ignored him and rattled the knob, pulling and pushing. The door didn’t budge.  
  
“Sho...”  
  
Sho turned to Aiba. It was strange. Why did the Madame have to drug Jun? Why is she determined to make this round a success? Who...  
  
“Who’s in there?”  
  
“What do you mean? I just told you-”  
  
“Who’s in there with him?”  
  
“I don’t know... Someone big... Kinda creepy guy.”  
  
Sho clutched his head with one hand, struck with realisation as images of a certain man with a sick grin flashed in his mind.  
  
“ Sh-sho?”  
  
Sho had taken a few steps back, stopped facing the door.  
  
 _It couldn’t be... With that brute? How could she? Even I can’t fight him. Why...?_  
  
He rammed into the door. He gasped at the shock of pain that ran through his nerves. Was the door made of steel? It took him a while to gather himself back. He stood up and took a few steps back again.  
  
“Sho!”  
  
 _Slam!_  
  
Sho hit the door and dropped to the ground on one knee, groaning.  
  
“You can’t get in...”  
  
Sho glared at Aiba.  
  
“He’s in there isn’t he?”  
  
“...Yes.”  
  
“Then I need to get in.” Sho hit the door again, ignoring the pain.  
  
“Stop it! Sho... there’s a note for you. The guards tossed it on me after they beat me up.” Aiba averted his eyes away as he held out a small paper towards Sho. He wondered briefly if Aiba had read it. There was only one short phrase written on it.  
  
 _“There were two murderers; one got away.”_  
  
Sho dropped the paper onto the ground. He could feel himself trembling like crazy. It was like pieces of a puzzle was joining in his mind, one by one, coming together.  
  
She’d planned it all out. Everything from the beginning.  
  
“No... no. No...” He shook his head staring at the ground.  
  
“Sho?” Aiba watched as Sho walked slowly back to Den X’s door, trying the knob again, before hammering against it.  
  
“Open up, dammit!”  
  
She’s been planning his ruin from the start. _Jun’s in danger._  
  
Sho looked around for something, anything that could break open the door. An axe perhaps? But there wasn’t anything. Of course. There’s no way Madame would allow them to have hold of such a thing. He rammed against the door again, ignoring the pain, only letting out a brief groan at the contact.  
  
“Its impossible to get in from that door...” Aiba said softly, as if trying to make up for Sho’s frustration by being soothing.  
  
“Then WHAT should I do?” Sho felt like screaming.  
  
There was a short silence. And then-  
  
“...It’s a Den duty right? Then... she might be up there...”  
  
Sho stared at Aiba.  
  
“Up there? And so?”  
  
“Maybe... maybe you can get her to stop-” Aiba wasn’t even finished talking as Sho ran down the corridor towards the staircase.  
  
+++  
  
The guards were there, and the chief guard was standing in the way. Sho stopped in front of him, panting. The other man had a weary look on his face as he watched Sho.  
  
“Young man...”  
  
“Please! Let me go.”  
  
“Young man... It’s better if you don’t...”  
  
“I can’t stand here doing nothing! He’s in danger! You can’t stop me!”  
  
“Yes. I can’t.”  
  
“No matter- What?”  
  
The older man looked at him with concerned eyes.  
  
“I was ordered not to stop you if you came along...I don’t think you should go.”  
  
“...Oh.” She’s ready for me.  
  
Sho sucked in his breath. To be honest, he was scared of what the Madame was planning to do to him, but he was even more afraid of not being able to stop what was happening to Jun.  
  
“It’s alright. I have to go.”  
  
+++  
  
When he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped. It was different here, on the spectator’s floor, compared to what was below. Where there was nothing but plain walls and a worn-out plain carpeted floor below, up here it was a grand-looking corridor of marble pillars and delicately carved vases of flowers. Mini chandeliers lit up the long corridor, giving the impression of a warm, bright place.  
  
 _How deceiving,_ Sho thought. _Do the people who come to watch even know what’s going on beneath them? Do they know what kind of pain and suffering we have to go through?_ For a moment he was filled with contempt for those people. He loathed them. But then he shook his head, pulling himself together.  
  
He walked briskly down the corridor, passing by polished, finely carved wooden doors. As he passed by, he realised that the names of the Dens were different from what he knew. Where it would have been the spectator room for Den B, instead, the door labelled it as Buttercup. As he went on, he saw names like Calla Lily, Delphinium, Elephant Ears and so on.  
  
It struck him as odd. He knew they were all plants. But it felt strange. There were surely prettier names were there not? But somehow, something about the names chosen felt elaborate. But he wasn’t really much into that area. He shrugged it off as he continued walking past Gloriosa Lily, Iris and such. When he reached Den X, he’d almost expected it to be a plant starting with X. Instead, it wasn’t labelled, at all.  
  
Sho almost passed by it. But then he’d stopped and turned to look at the nameless door. He had already gone by Wisteria and he almost reached a door labelled Yellow Jessamine. It made sense that X would be in the middle. But there it was. Nameless.  
  
He hesitated. But only for a moment, before he gritted his teeth and opened the door. It wasn’t locked, unlike its counterpart below.  
  
Inside the spectator’s room was as luxurious as outside it. The room was circular, fragrant, dark wallpaper covered the walls, and cushions lined up against them. However, those were just decorations. The main focus of the room was on the center of it, gleaming round glass sitting whole-fully in the middle of the floor, surrounded by an arrangement of large leg-less, cushion seats which circled around it. On the ceiling above the floor glass, monitors flickered in a similar circular fashion.  
  
“Oh! He’s here! Darling, you were right. He came after all!” A slightly drunk lady’s voice floated across the room. Someone moved from behind one of the seats. Sho blinked, and finally realised that some of the seats were occupied.  
  
There were a number of spectators, all of them wealthy-looking and looking at him in a way Sho didn’t like. It was the look of expectant unpleasant greed. He turned his eyes away from them and look around for the Madame.  
  
She was there, sitting by herself, an armed bodyguard on each side, both dressed in dark grey suits. The Madame herself was wearing a dark blood red gown, which flared around on the ground outside the seat. Without glancing at him, she spoke into a long slender microphone,  
  
“Stop.”  
  
And then she turned to smile at him.  
  
“My dear Sho. You made it in time. How wonderful! Come, the show is about to start.”  
  
She beckoned to him, but Sho found himself rooted to the spot. She may be smiling, but her eyes were cold and steely. There was nothing welcoming about them at all. Rather, it made him feel as if going to her had been a bad mistake, but it was too late. He had to try something. So, he knelt on the ground.  
  
“Please, let go of Matsumoto Jun.”  
  
+++  
  
When he woke up, he knew Sho wasn’t going to be there. His eyes remained shut, feeling the cold emptiness beside him. He’d stayed with Jun until he fell asleep, and then he left him... for that person.  
  
For a long while it seemed, he laid there, unmoving. And then the door clicked open. Jun had almost jumped out of his bed, until he realised it wasn’t Sho, and laid back down. That man... another of his friends had come.  
  
“Hi again!”  
  
Jun’s instant thought was that he seemed different from the other day when he came into his room alone. The other day, he was more withdrawn, just quietly sitting there, but it seemed he was cheerful again. Yet somehow, he felt as if something was still wrong. The cheerfulness felt a bit forced.  
  
“I’ve come to hang out again if you don’t mind...”  
  
Jun shook his head and sat up properly, covering the lower half of his body with his blanket. Aiba stared at him for a moment.  
  
“Is it that hot?” He looked around the room. “But your room’s air-conditioned.” He went to one of the vents and tiptoed, reaching an arm up. “I can feel the cool air coming out.”  
  
Jun wondered for a moment what Aiba meant, and then after understanding, blushed slightly. He shrugged.  
  
“Yeah... you can’t answer, stupid me. So... how goes your speech now?”  
  
Jun beamed at him.  
  
“Sh-sho.”  
  
The older man was clearly startled. For a moment, his face was unreadable, before it lit up, and he grinned at the younger person, pouncing on him, wrapping him into a bear hug.  
  
“Oh my god. You did it! That’s amazing!”  
  
Jun patted his back awkwardly. Aiba pulled away from him, still smiling proudly.  
  
 _Thank you,_ Jun wanted to say. But it was still too hard, so he smiled back at Aiba instead. Aiba sat on the bed, next to him.  
  
“You really are a fast learner. It’s a real pity that you are in this situation... I think you’d have recovered faster under proper care. The people who took care of you before... what were they doing?”  
  
Jun thought about it. Somehow, it was getting easier for him to focus on what other people were saying now... to understand them. He thought about the time when he could barely see or understand what was going around him clearly. His grandfather had tried to get him to recover but... somehow... things became easier only after he reunited with Sho again. There were still times where he’d be lost in himself but it really was much better now. As for those other people he was sent to live with... forget them.  
  
He shook his head at Aiba. In the end, he believed if anything, Sho... and the others here helped him more than anyone else outside could. He still had a long way to go though.  
  
Time passed, and Jun found the other man to be someone that he might be able to trust and grew comfortable with him. Aiba talked and talked showing a lot of expressions towards him, and he knew Aiba was trying to comfort him in his own way and he was grateful for that. A little of the emptiness he'd felt from when he woke up had gone away.  
  
“Say... If I told you...” Aiba stopped for a while. Jun looked at Aiba, waiting for him to continue, when they heard a ruckus at the door.  
  
And moments later, guards forced their way in, drugged Jun, beat up Aiba who was trying to stop them, and took away Kazama and Yoko who tried to interfere.  
  
+++  
  
The Madame gave a tinkling laugh that crept up his spine.  
  
“Let go?” The Madame raised a hand as if signalling something. Sho felt his arms being grabbed hold of on each side and struggled. “Do you have the right to ask me anything?”  
  
The guards who were on his side were strong. He couldn't shake them off, as Madame stood up from her seat and approached him. Somehow, she had a syringe in her hand. Sho couldn’t take his eyes off it, suspecting what it was.  
  
“What... are you planning to do?”  
  
The Madame continued smiling at him, with that chilly way of hers. She held him by the crook of the elbow.  
  
“Stupid boy. Why didn’t you just go off with that young lady of yours?”  
  
“What do you mean- Ungh!” Sho gasped as she jabbed the syringe into his upper arm, forcing the substance in it inside his body. _Shit._  
  
“Oh you fool.” The Madame said sweetly, letting go of his arm. “You’ve been visiting him haven’t you? Breaking against my rules... with the help of others.”  
  
“You got them to beat Aiba up.”  
  
“Punishment is due to those who are disobedient. And you know it. Aiba Masaki got off very lightly.”  
  
“Where- where are Yoko and Kazama?”  
  
“Who? Ah, those two who were not doing their duty as the guardians of the Den?” She said lazily. “You won’t see them again.”  
  
For a moment, Sho tried to absorb this information in his shock. “No...” Kazama and Yoko... they only wanted for Jun to be happy. And she got rid of them. How easily she did it too. It wasn’t real, he told himself, there’s no way those two could be gone so easily.  
  
“And you too." She did not even give him enough time to think or feel anything for them. "I’m afraid now you will have to suffer the consequences of breaking my rules.”  
  
His heart almost stopped for a moment. She was punishing him. Because he came back even though she gave him a chance to get away. Because he had been visiting Jun. Because he broke her rules by doing so. She hated rule-breakers.  
  
He was losing the feeling in his body. The drug must be at work.  
  
“Silly, silly boy.” She whispered. “Would you like to know more about the murderer?”  
  
 _The murderer!_ He’d forgotten.  
  
“The murderer...the one that got away... is he... the one who...”  
  
“Yes.” The answer was brief, cold and factual.  
  
 _He’s the one who hurt the child Matsumoto Jun years ago._  
  
“It’s impossible... He was caught.”  
  
“Tch.” The Madame went impatiently. “Didn’t you get my message? I said there were two murderers didn’t I?”  
  
“The police didn’t know...? Why didn’t the one who got caught tell them?  
  
“Why would he?” The Madame moved away a lock of hair which was hanging out covering his left eye. The other ladies giggled. “I wouldn’t. It would be dismally pathetic. He’d have the glory of killing to himself, so why would he do it? It was particularly helpful that the police wanted to wrap up the case as soon as possible too.”  
  
 _You people are sick._  
  
Sho stopped himself from retorting back at her. What happens to Jun depends on her. Speaking of which... He turned towards the glass.  
  
He was there. An unmoving figure, covered in white cloth, lying unmoving on a bed, unconscious.  
  
“Jun!”  
  
A big figure stood by the bed, looking upwards, as if he could see through the looking glass, waiting. Sho could feel his heart thump in fear as he watched the insane, greedy face that he knew of the man there. Nobody should be in there with him.  
  
 _He murders and he rapes. He shouldn’t be out free, yet he is. He’s going to hurt Jun, again._  
  
Sho moved towards the glass, but was held back by the guards on his sides.  
  
“Let go!”  
  
“Let him go.” Madame’s voice commanded, bored.  
  
He felt arms slipping off his and rushed towards the glass but wasn’t even halfway through when he collapsed on his knees. After a brief moment of shock, he tried to get up, but his legs wouldn’t work.  
  
“What... did you do...?” He said, still struggling to get up, but failing, not looking at the Madame. “Release him-”  
  
The Madame didn’t answer him. Instead, she returned back to her seat, taking hold of the microphone.  
  
“You may begin.”  
  
The man below the glass sneered and moved towards the unconscious figure.  
  
“No! Please!” Sho tried to move towards the glass with his arms desperately, dragging his knees on the floor. “Jun... Jun... Stop... Please! I’ll do anything!”  
  
“Isn’t that cute?” A lady thrilled.  
  
“...Jun...Please...” Sho threw out an elbow and pushed himself forward. Everything below his torso had numbed, making it harder for him to move. He looked up. The monitors on top were focused on either the man or Jun inside the room. That man had begun to advance on the younger person, who had begun to stir.  
  
 _Please... Don’t do this to him... Hasn’t he suffered enough?_  
  
“He didn’t really fight back well, I was told. Perhaps, his heart wasn’t into it?” The Madame told him. “It was as if his usual stubborn will wasn’t there. I wonder why...?”  
  
“It’s not... It can’t be...” Sho clenched his fist. But deep inside, he knew the thought that had burdened him from the moment he had stepped into Jun's empty room. _It’s not my fault... is it?_  
  
+++  
  
Matsumoto Jun opened his eyes to find a dark shadow casted over him. For a moment he feared that the shadows had come back again, until he realised that it was actually a person in front of him.  
  
He looked up at the person covering the light and froze. The blood running through him ran cold as the his brain sifted through his memories as to where he might have seen this stranger before. His body seemed to remember though. Goosebumps rippled throughout his whole body as his heart thudded with fear.  
  
This... human that stood before him emanated an intense dark atmosphere that crawled eeriely towards Jun. His face read of unsaintly thoughts and demons. Jun could feel his world sinking in shadows once more, could see the monster that was emerging out of the person before him.  
  
 _Run,_ his instincts screamed at him. _Run_. Jun struggled to lift himself off the bed, but discovered that his body would not obey him. Instead, he flopped back onto the bed as the darkness approached him.  
  
His face loomed near Jun’s, licking his lips as he spoke,  
  
“Look at how much you’ve grown.” A hand crept up Jun’s thigh. He shivered. The monster laughed as if what he said was the most hilarious thing. “Its thrilling that you’re still alive. You'll be more satisfying now, surely.”  
  
And then he remembered. Everything around him plunged into a pitch-black vortex.  
  
+++  
  
Jun was screaming. Jun was screaming in terror as the man approached him, clutching his hands to the sides of his head.  
  
He’s remembering, Sho realised. All the bad memories that he’d forgotten is rushing back into his head at one go. He’s in pain.  
  
“St-stop... Don’t do this to him!” The Madame ignored him. Sho tried to move, but he couldn’t even clench his fist. She’s done something to his nervous system. Something that made his body immobile.  
  
“Bitch...” He said through clenched teeth as he tried to move his now useless arms.  
  
She didn’t spare him a glance, but Sho caught a glimpse of a smile carved on her cold, polished face.  
  
 _I can’t give up here_ , he thought to himself, and yet, he felt his heart sinking at the same time.  
  
+++  
  
They’d just finished dinner that night, the four of them. Matsumoto Jun had been helping his mother in the kitchen with the dirty dishes while his father and sister were out in the dining room, talking about how school went that day.  
  
Jun remembered in white flaring flashes. Loud crashing, yelling, his mother running out of the kitchen, a man coming in, cornering him, his mother’s screaming.  
  
He remembered the man’s face clearly as his eyes wildly roved on Jun. A face filled with greed and hunger for something the boy could not name yet. Not for long. Before he knew it, he’d been pushed down and forced into a position in which he could not escape.  
  
“Mother! Father!” He’d cried. “Help! Sis!” He’d fought, he’d struggled, not wanting to let the man get his way. The man had gotten impatient and hit him in the face. Tears ran down Jun’s cheek. “Mother...” Jun whispered, sobbing, but the man only grinned.  
  
“Hey!” He’d called out to someone outside the kitchen. “Are they all dead yet?”  
  
“No! The little girl croaked fast enough, the man was tougher but this woman’s a fighter. She’s trying to get to her little boy, I think. Are you done yet?”  
  
“Are you kidding? I haven’t even started. This stupid mutt’s not making it easy.”  
  
“Maybe you should just kill him straightaway. Forget your perverted ideas for once.” Another man’s face popped into view from the kitchen entryway, sneering.  
  
“Maybe you should mind your business and get on with the killing. You and your stupid slow, torturing deaths.”  
  
A big grubby hand grabbed Jun by the chin roughly.  
  
“Now you look-” _Crash!_  
  
Both Jun and his attacker turned around. The man at the kitchen entry was knocked unconscious, the sound of something falling shattering onto the floor. And through the kitchen entrance, his mother crawled through. Everything about her seemed wrong. The blood gushing from her elbow, her pale face, her legs looked weird... and her hand? Jun panicked, _Where’s her hand?_  
  
“Mother! Mother!”  
  
“Lady, I’m impressed,” remarked Jun’s attacker. You managed to throw something to knock my partner there unconscious with one hand missing."  
  
“Let go of my son,” She growled, her voice harsh, her face stricken with grief. The attacker sniggered.  
  
“Look lady. Ya can’t pull the same thing again as with my friend and ya know it.” _Whoosh! Crash!_ His mother had attempted to throw a butter knife at him, but instead, it crashed straight into the kitchen’s lit hanging lamp, breaking it. Darkness fell into the kitchen.  
  
“Let go of him!” She advanced towards them. Too fast, a flash of silver gleamed in the dark, straight for her neck. There was a dull thud and a choking noise as his mother slid to the ground.  
  
Jun had cried, struggling to get to his mother, but the remaining man kicked him hard in the stomach as he went over to his mother to pick up the blunt axe, which had not quite managed to kill her.  
  
“I should have sharpened it. Oh well.” He returned back to Jun.  
  
“Don’t touch him...” His mother’s voice was very faint, and he felt as if she would be lost to him any moment.  
  
“Save her! Please! I’ll do anything!” He had begged the attacker. The man seemed to think for a while before smiling in a way Jun didn’t like.  
  
“Very well. I’ll save her. But in exchange, you will listen as I say.”  
  
“Don’t...Jun...my boy... Run...”  
  
“Don’t listen to her,” The man growled, “Not if you want her to live.”  
  
Jun shut his eyes, sobbing, trying not to listen to his mother’s faint pleading cries.  
  
“Then first-”  
  
+++  
  
The man had advanced on Jun, had pulled off the blanket that covered him, touching him wherever he pleased, doing more than just touching. And Sho couldn’t stop him as he watched Jun falling apart, piece by piece. The Jun that he had slowly pieced together with the others was now coming undone before his eyes. All that effort and work... had vanished in a short moment.  
  
Sho felt helpless as he bit his tongue, forcing himself not to cry in front of the Madame. That would be what she and her ‘ladies’ like after all.  
  
“Dammit... dammit dammit! Why... why are you doing this to him?! You know what happened to him in the past! I thought you wanted me to put him together, but you’re destroying him again! Let him go!”  
  
Silence, except for a few of the ladies’ giggles.  
  
“Damn you...”  
  
“What would you do in exchange if I let him go?” The Madame asked him abruptly.  
  
“I... I’ll take his place!”  
  
The Madame seemed as if she would consider it for a moment, while the other ladies laughed, yet waiting eagerly for her response. She locked her eyes on his as she told him,  
  
“I refuse.”  
  
+++  
  
The older man forced him in front of his mother, his grunts louder than Jun’s mother’s pleads. It was unbearably painful, Jun discovered, what the man was doing to him. He felt close to dying, felt like his whole body was breaking apart.  
  
“Stop...” His mother had said even as she lay on the floor, losing more and more blood. She was crying, Jun saw as he tried to hold back the pain he was feeling.  
  
“Save her...” He strained himself to say the words.  
  
The attacker gave an impatient ‘tsk’ and without warning, before Jun even knew it. He’d thrown the axe at his mother again. His mother went silent. And so, at the same time too, did Jun’s world.  
  
+++  
  
The bastard shifted, changing his position, and Sho suddenly realised what he was about to do next.  
  
“No! Stop it! He’d yelled, trying his hardest to move. “Please!” He couldn’t. He couldn’t save that one person that means so much to him. “No more...” His voice broke as he looked down the glass. “No more...!”  
  
A pained cry rang out through the speakers, reaching Sho’s ears as he watched the final pieces of Jun shatter, into a thousand tiny shards. A cry that broke his heart. He didn’t realise when it started, but he was suddenly vaguely aware of the tears that ran down his cheeks uncontrollably and the sobs that seem to be coming from himself.  
  
His vision became blurred, his thoughts no longer coherent. He couldn’t bear to see anymore but he couldn’t look away either.  
  
“Stop-! Please... I beg you...”  
  
A cool hand covered Sho’s eyes, his tears still running down behind it.  
  
“Enough, Sho.” A familiar voice told him. The speaker took him by the chin and turned him around to face her. It was Lady Rie.  
  
“Rie. What are you doing?” The Madame asked her, her voice calm but forbidding. “Did you not refuse to take part in this?”  
  
“I’m not taking part. I’m just here to stop it from going too far...Although, it appears I was too late.”  
  
“Leave him. It is my right with what I do with him.”  
  
“You’ve done enough, can’t you see? That’s as far as it goes.” Lady Rie told the Madame firmly. She pulled him up by the elbow, forcing him to stand on his feet. “You should tell that nasty piece of work to stop too.” She nodded to the observation glass, pausing for a moment, looking through it without revealing what her thoughts were behind the face with the heavy make-up on. She turned back to Sho.  
  
“Come on lad. Pull yourself together.” Her tone was unusually kind as she led him towards the door, but Sho could hardly bring himself to care.  
  
“Rie.” The Madame’s voice rang a note of cold disapproval.  
  
“Later.”  
  
+++  
  
A man sat on the bed in Sho’s room, curled up, pale and silent, staring blankly into the air. When Nino entered, he didn’t even so much as flinch, not one bit, not acknowledging Nino’s presence.  
  
“Sho...” He sat down beside the older man, gently nudging him. There wasn’t any reaction. He nudged him again. “Sho.” No response. “Sho!” He grabbed the older man by the arms and shook him. The man didn’t even look at him.  
  
“I heard what happened. But you can’t stay like this. Have you tried to see Jun?”  
  
At the sound of Jun’s name, Sho jolted, and turned to Nino, and grabbed him by the shoulders.  
  
“Where...?” His voice was harsh and low from not using it.  
  
“She’s keeping him in Root Wing still but...” Nino’s eyes were not meeting his. “There’s new people guarding it.”  
  
Yoko and Kazama...  
  
Sho withdrew his hands from Nino.  
  
“They won’t let me in... but...” Nino’s voice trailed off for a while. “... why don’t you try go see him? Maybe you can...”  
  
“...No. I can’t see him anyway. Not after...” _I failed him._  
  
“Coward.” Nino’s voice had gone slightly higher, a little strained. It sounded as if he had been holding back quite a lot, but it didn't really matter to Sho. “Do you think by staying here would help him at all?” Something struck Sho at that point, and it made him boiling mad.  
  
“I couldn’t help him!” Sho raised his head to look at Nino, angrily.“Don’t you get it?! All I could do was watch while he... while he...” Sho started to tremble, remembering what had unfolded before his eyes.  
  
Nino didn't like it, seeing the usually steady man before him crumble so easily now. He knew the man was hurting inside, but he cannot afford to allow the man to go into pieces any more than that.  
  
“But still... just sitting around here won’t do anyone any good... You aren’t doing yourself any good, that’s for sure. Go see him...”  
  
+++  
  
The chief of guards was there at the Root Wing’s common room. Sho stared at him as he stared back.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"She's putting me in charge until she finds some new people. This kinda thing happens a lot."  
  
"I... need to visit... him..." Sho looked towards Jun's closed bedroom door.  
  
“I’m not supposed to allow anyone to see him.” The chief began, appraising Sho’s dishevelled look up to down. He really was a strict-looking man, quite becoming of his stature.  
  
“Please.”  
  
"I'm under orders not to."  
  
"...Are you afraid that she will punish you?" Sho asked him, unable to hide the bitter note in his tone. The chief sighed, and ruffled his own hair, before sitting down.  
  
“That's not it... It's just... " The chief met his eyes with a knowing look. "You won’t like it.”  
  
Sho felt like hitting him at that moment, but controlled himself. Instead, he quietly said,  
  
“Please, Chief.”  
  
“She did this to you didn’t she? That time when I let you pass...”  
  
“It doesn’t matter... Just... let me see him.”  
  
+++  
  
Jun's room wasn't that much different from before. What was different, seemed to be Jun himself. Sho felt it, an aura of fear and darkness that seemed to come from the person who sat on the bed, hugging his knees, by himself.  
  
“Jun...” Sho approached the figure slowly. The figure before him bristled, alertly watching him. It was really different now. _He_ was different. A heavy feeling sank into Sho.  
  
“It’s me Jun... don’t you recognise me?” He felt his own lips trembling as he watched the younger man looking at him through clearly hostile eyes. He couldn’t recognise him at all. It was as if all the sanity he ever had, the bits of sanity he had regained, had all fled from him. Sho reached out to touch the man’s cheek, but in a single swift movement, his hand had been swiped off, nails digging into his flesh. Jun growled at him, his right hand clutching Sho’s hand by the wrist, painfully strong.  
  
 _Like an animal._ Suppressing the heavy emotions that was slowly emerging from inside him, Sho ignored the pain on his right hand and reached out to touch Jun’s hair with his left.  
  
 _Smack!_  
  
A direct punch on his face. Sho felt the burning pain remain still without going away even after a short while. The other man was breathing wildly, angrily, but Sho could see how scared he was too.  
  
“Jun, please-” Sho reeled back as he was hit with another punch to his stomach, the hand on his right hand still clutching it firmly.  
  
 _He’s attacking me_ , Sho realised suddenly. _Like how he would attack others in the Den. To him, I’m just another one of those people._ It was a hurtful thought, to Sho who had always been proud of being different from the others in Jun’s eyes.  
  
A little shakily, Sho reached out to touch Jun again, but this time, he was ready for the the man's retaliation.  
  
He grabbed the man’s other hand before Jun could throw another hit out at him. Jun fought his grasp, snarling at him, almost screaming in frustration when he discovered he couldn’t escape from Sho’s stronger hold. The struggle was intensely strong, and it was hard even for Sho to hold on, but after he threw what it seemed to be everything he had at Sho, the other man finally gave up, although not without several wounds and blood, looking away from him, both men panting hard as Sho pinned him down on the bed.  
  
Jun's eyes told Sho how much he hated him at the moment. Sho couldn't bear to see it, but he didn't let him go. I _f only I didn't go to see Haruna_... Jun didn't properly fight back the people who took him... couldn't... and now all this had happened. It was all because of Sho.  
  
“I’m sorry Jun... It’s all my fault... I’m sorry...” Sho could hear his own voice crack. Jun turned back to look at him.  
  
For a moment, they stared at each other. And then a tear ran down the other man’s cheek.  
  
For a moment Sho thought the other man actually remembered before realising that it was his own tear that had dropped onto the man’s face. The man beneath him looked blankly at him as more tears dropped onto and rolled off his cheeks. Jun was looking at him, but he was not seeing him.  
  
Sho released him as he moved off of him, feeling a stabbing pain in his chest.  
  
 _It’s no use..._ , He wanted to say, but his voice wouldn't come out. _It’s just no use..._ He wiped his eyes angrily with the back of his hand, and headed for the door, leaving the other man behind.  
  
+++  
  
Nino didn’t expect to see Sho like that. The man seemed to have given up on talking. Days passed and it seemed as if he’d stopped moving. The only person who he even reacted to a bit was just to Nino himself, who persisted, making sure he at least ate daily.  
  
 _Was this what she had aimed for? What really happened when he went to see Jun?_  
  
A couple of weeks passed, with Sho's condition not improving for the better.  
  
Nino entered Sho’s room, holding a plate of bread rolls. That day, Ohno and Aiba accompanied him for the first time after the incident.  
  
For a moment he searched the room for him when he glimpsed him by the desk at his window, bent over something. Nino walked in further to see what exactly he was doing, catching a glimpse of something glinting.  
  
“What the hell are you doing?!”  
  
He dropped the plate, letting the food roll on the floor, and wrestled Sho to the ground. The man barely had time to even gasp.  
  
“You stupid asshole!” Nino yelled at Sho, one hand gripping Sho’s neck, and the other hand gripping his wrist, forcing him to let go of the knife he was holding. “Stupid!” Ohno quickly scrambled to pick up the knife as Aiba stared on, wide-eyed.  
  
Sho’s hair had grown longer, and it was clear that he had not tended to it for quite a while as his bands hung over his eyes, hiding them. He didn’t make any effort to fight back, and instead quietly turned away from Nino who was glaring down at him. He didn’t seem to see either Ohno or Aiba who was standing there. He didn't even seem to hear Nino's name-callings either.  
  
“Say... Nino... Did it hurt a lot?” His voice was quiet, after a while of being unused.  
  
“Huh?!” Nino was fuming mad over Sho, and for a moment he didn’t know what the latter was asking.  
  
“Did it hurt a lot... cutting your wrist? Will it... take long?”  
  
Nino froze.  
  
“But the pain will go away right? The pain inside...?”  
  
“Sho...” Nino’s voice was barely audible. “You...”  
  
Sho turned to face Nino, his eyes dull.  
  
“You...”  
  
 _Was it a mistake, to send him to see Jun?_ Nino briefly wondered with regret. _But, still... still...._  
  
“YOU BLOODY IDIOT!” Nino sent a spectacular punch that would even wake the dead to his face. He grabbed Sho by the collar, ignoring the cry of pain and the blood that was dripping out by the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Nino, stop.” Ohno held him back from throwing another punch.  
  
“YOU! You told me to live! And now- what- what the HELL are you doing?!” Nino had a hard time grasping words as he struggled not to explode any further. “Huh?! What are you doing?!” He shook Sho.  
  
“Ouch...”  
  
“So you wanna take the easy way out by dying?! Then what of Jun? Are you going to leave him alone here? Where she’d just do more things to him?”  
  
“He doesn’t need me. He doesn’t even remember me.” Sho spat bitterly.  
  
“You’re wrong. That’s exactly why he needs you, you moron.”  
  
“No... he doesn’t...” Sho clutched his head, crouching on the ground. “He doesn’t need me! I’m useless! She knows everything, I don’t know how she does... and I can’t stop her. I'm useless... She knows...”  
  
“...Tch.” Nino stood up. “You want to know how she knows then? Will you be satisfied then? Fine. I’ll show you how she knows.”  
  
He turned to face both Ohno and Aiba, who stood behind him, Ohno having loosened his hold on him.  
  
“You saw it. Are you happy now, seeing them like this?” Nino’s voice had turned cold, a startling contrast from the hot anger that he had turned on Sho with. “Spy.” He hissed.  
  
“What are you talking about, Nino?” came an incredulous reply from one of them.  
  
And then, another reply came from the other, leeringly,  
  
“Hooh...well... since it’s you Ninomiya...I’d be stupid to deny it. I'm sure you've done enough research if you're voicing it out.” A voice which was usually bursting with bubbly energy and vigour, had came out with a coldness to match Nino’s.  
  
“So you finally figured out huh?" The voice continued. "Took you long enough. Too long.” It caught Sho’s attention, but he didn’t want to believe it. He looked up slowly.  


Aiba was facing Nino with a smirk on his face.

 

+.+.+


	11. Flight

It was dark even when he opened his eyes, not being able to see a single thing.  
  
 _How did I get here?_ he thought, struggling to move, only to find his hands and legs bound tight with rope.  _That’s odd, what happened?_  He thought back, wondering as to how he got into that state, trying to remember the events that happened before that.  
  
There was Jun, stripped of the little bit of sanity he had left. Yoko and Kazama were gone. The knife... Nino... and Aiba’s treachery. Sho jolted.  _Aiba._  
  
+++

  
Sho didn't say anything. Rather, he stared at the tall man standing before Nino with dazed eyes, unclear of what just happened. He reached out a hand, as if trying to grab hold of the air to support himself. Ohno stooped down and took a hold on his hand.  
  
"If I could just call you a traitor and be done with it... But its not quite as simple as that is it?" Nino was saying.  
  
"Hmm? What do you mean?"  
  
"It's not that you suddenly just turned to the other side did you? You've been... working for her from the start."  
  
Aiba shrugged. "Yes, I suppose you could say that."  
  
"That's why the Madame knows everything, isn't that right? She knows a lot, but there should have been a limit to how much she knows. It was strange... It's because she placed someone to do an inside job. Dog." Nino all but spat the last word out.  
  
"She is wise. She knows that not all her men are loyal to her, so she needs to keep a closer eye on them. It's not only in the Chateau that she placed a spy. She has at least one loyal member in every faction that belongs to her. I am most honored to be chosen to be the receptor of her trust. How did you find out? The database?" He asked the last question abruptly.  
  
“...I didn’t think about it before, to look up about you, until recently. You were... strange.”  
  
Aiba chuckled. “Strange?”  
  
“You went everywhere without a care for the world. You talk to anyone and everyone. Breaking the ground rules as if they didn’t matter to you. As if... you knew you could get away with it. I had thought you were just stupidly carefree but I was wrong, wasn’t I? You were collecting information.” Nino said while looking coldly at him.  
  
“And? All those are just speculations are they not? Knowing you, you surely have something more than mere suspicions?”  
  
“I checked you up in the secret database on that day. After I saw you run out after Sho. I thought you were worried about him at first... but, were you perhaps just thrown off-balance? You didn’t think he’d really go? You weren’t as prepared as you like? Was that it Aiba?”  
  
The taller man shrugged carelessly. “Whatever you say. Continue. Was there a mistake with my profile in the database?”  
  
For one fleeting moment, Nino considered hitting him like he did Sho. It was infuriating, talking to this person who clearly couldn't care less, who didn’t think what he did was wrong. Then he paused.  
  
Once before, he would never have been one to cause injury to others so easily. He wasn’t borned a fighter, just a runner. But he’d stopped running after he entered the Den, after he met Sho, Ohno and even Aiba.  
  
 _Since when was I this nosy and quick-tempered?_  He wondered. If not for the situation they were in at the moment, he might have been amused. He took a deep breath instead and continued.  
  
“Nothing. It just stated your normal profile. Your age, your height, where you were born, and that you got in here because of a debt. Nothing out of place at all.”  
  
“Then, if nothing was out of place, how-”  
  
“It’s exactly because of that.” Nino cut him off. “Everything was normal, a repeat of your profile on the regular database. And yet you were in that second database. Unlike Jun’s data, yours hold no hidden secrets of the past. It almost seemed like a mistake, but it wasn’t, was it, Aiba?”  
  
Aiba leaned against the door, pondering over it.  
  
“Just for argument’s sake,” he said finally, “- what makes you think it wasn’t a mistake?”  
  
“I tried it. Tried to enter a fake profile in, but the procedure was extremely long and tedious, with no shortcuts, I almost threw my laptop out of the window. They entered you in on purpose.”  
  
He added darkly. “They mixed you in the same high-security database for Chateau as Jun, as a note that you’re ‘special’. They didn’t think anyone would access it, but they wouldn’t risk writing your job description, just in case. So to make it less suspicious, they just duplicated your general profile.”  
  
“Is that it?” Aiba asked Nino.  
  
“Also... you’re from the Root Wing aren’t you? No one with a normal case like that would ever have been thrown into that particular wing. The people in charge of administration matters were clever, but not clever enough.”  
  
For a moment, they were all silent. For a moment, Sho hoped that Aiba would deny everything. That whatever Nino said wasn’t true. He didn’t. Instead, the tall man laughed and clapped his hands.  
  
“I’ve never really seen the database myself,” Aiba admitted, “but that sounds just about right, I guess.”  
  
Head spinning, Sho could feel the beginning of a battle raging in his mind, a conflict of sorts. He’s lying. Aiba must be lying.  
  
"It was odd how she knew to attack where it hurts the most," Nino muttered softly, oblivious to what was happening inside Sho.  
  
"How she set me with Jun inside the Den..."  
  
"That was your punishment, Nino. For poking your nose in where it doesn't belong."  
  
"And you were there when they attacked. You insinuated Sho to go up there. Why? Couldn't they just have dragged him the same way up?"  
  
"I do not question what my lady ordered me to do. Perhaps it was a test of my loyalty to her.”  
  
"How could you... for that person?! That kind of woman?" Aiba drew himself up, the careless attitude had vanished, and looked at Nino with a chilly expression on his face.  
  
"The Madame is a fine woman, I believe her so to be. I will not allow anyone to badmouth her. Not you, not anyone." Nino shook his head, furiously glaring at the taller man.  
  
"How can you be so bigoted to the point that you are blind of this?! Come on Aiba, you're not that dumb. Look at the things she has done." Aiba remained unmoved.  
  
"Whatever she does is always for the better good." Nino drew his breath in sharply, as if trying to stop himself from snapping.  
  
"Even- even this, Aiba? Even what she did to them?" Nino flung an arm out towards Sho's direction. "What have they done to deserve this much, you asshole?!"  
  
Aiba didn’t to look at Sho. Instead, he kept his eyes on Nino.  
  
"They broke the rules. It only serves them correctly that they were punished."  
  
"They broke the rules? They-  _You jerk_. You brought us inside in the first place. What was your purpose for doing so?"  
  
"You'd have tried to find a way in anyway, remember? I was merely keeping an eye on you." Aiba looked down for a while. "Madame wasn't happy with me though, that I did things my way, but she decided to spare me."  
  
He looked back up. "She forgives my blunders and mistakes. Isn't that great of her?"  
  
"...You're blind, Aiba."  
  
"Still, the finale went the way Madame wanted it, I'm glad for it."  
  
"Glad? What about this is gladdening?!" Nino turned and grabbed the knife from Ohno's hand. Turning back towards Aiba, he thrusted it towards the taller man's neck. The knife-point made contact with skin. Aiba froze.  
  
"You liked watching this, Aiba?” Nino dug the knife in a little, still holding back to stop it from cutting through, causing the older man to wince.  
  
“You liked seeing Sho like this? Trying to kill himself?! You're a sick man." Nino dropped the knife, letting it fall mere inches away from Aiba's feet. Aiba backed away a little.  
  
"So now what? Now that we know you're a spy, are you going to tell on us to the Madame?!" Aiba shrugged, a little stiffly, as if he was afraid Nino might come at him with the knife again.  
  
"Who knows? I don't think it really matters to the Madame anymore, now that the job is done. She might not be happy that my cover is blown, but we will see."  
  
Nino opened his mouth, perhaps to swear further at Aiba. But before he could continue saying anything, a coarse voice spoke.  
  
"Get out." Nino and Aiba turned to Sho, whose face was hidden by his bangs and facing the ground.  
  
"Get out. Don't let me see your face again." It was a threat. Aiba did not move, facing the figure on the ground who was supported by Ohno.  
  
"Didn't you hear?! Get out!" The voice saying the last statement became high, strangled and torn. And Aiba stepped out of Sho's room closing the door behind him.  
  
+++  
  
She was the ruler on these grounds, everyone knows it. Even the smallest, narrowest, dirtiest streets were under her command. People who saw her immediately bowed to her, surrendered to her, if they even had any belongings worthy of her, they will gift it to her immediately.  
  
Outside, she gave them a small, demure smile, while on the inside, she laughed with satisfaction at the lowly beings that crumbled in her presence. They were nothing more than puppets, waiting to obey her. If they do not, then she was prepared to crush them. She had no need for worthless liabilities.  
  
Everywhere she went, person by person trembled with fear at the very sight of her, and shrank away when she turned her face towards their direction. She scorned at such cowards. But that was the way of the world. She had come to accept the power she had in her. These fool humans were meant to worship her, and will obey even her slightest whims. For that is the law of the world.  
  
And so she smiled thinly at them as she went about her usual rounds around her areas, making sure that people are reminded, both men and women alike, who would be in charge of them all once the current head retires.  
  
As usual, there was the trembling, the shivering, the scraping on the ground, the-  _but what’s this?_  
  
A tall, thin, scruffy, grimy looking boy of about 14 had emerged by the roadside in front of her transport. He was waving at them.  
  
“You, boy! Get out of the way!” The driver had opened his window and yelled at the boy. “ Do you want a whipping, beggar?? Do you know who’s inside, you impertinent brat?!”  
  
“Yes!” The boy had replied cheerfully. “She’s the person-in-charge of all of us right?! Good morning, Lady!” He’s yelled out the last phrase as he strained his neck in an attempt to see her through the driver’s open window. She turned away from dirty-looking beggar boy in cold disgust.  
  
Nasty, vulgar creature, she thought. And very dirty. A beggar. These kind of people shouldn’t even be let to live. Nasty, unmistakable smells of what should be expected in a filthy street infested with the poor, drifted into the car. The lady wrinkled her nose.  
  
“Close the window and go.” She ordered the driver. He obeyed and stepped on the acceleration, missing the boy by inches, who jumped away in time.  
  
“Bye lady!” From the front mirror, she saw the boy continue to wave at them with both arms until they turned down a corner.  
  
+++  
  
The tall man leaned against the door of his own bedroom, and then slid down to the ground, slumping.  
  
+++  
  
Sho was still on the ground, shivering as different emotions, and realization, ran through him, overwhelming his senses and body. Aiba... all along it was Aiba... So many things made sense now. Aiba, Madame’s loyal pet. How he ran around in the Chateau without a care for the rules. Without any sense of fear. How Madame knew the things she shouldn’t have known. She even knew that we found out about the murderer.  
  
 _She got Aiba to send me up to her, freely walking into her trap._  
  
“Bastard...”  
  
It was all an act?  
  
What about the times Aiba hung out with them? Aiba wanting to know more about the past, the past with Sho and Kohara Yuki. Aiba who noticed and was concerned about Nino’s wrist injury. The times Aiba would act silly and make them silly too. The times with Jun...?  _Everything_ was an act?  
  
He sensed Nino and Ohno talking to him but he couldn’t really hear them. It wasn’t important to hear what they had to say. At some point, they seemed to realise it and left the room, and him, alone. He didn’t really care. He thought he couldn’t hurt more than he already did. He was wrong. Aiba’s betrayal was something he hadn’t expected at all.  
  
+++  
  
Nino watched Sho for a few days before deciding he had enough. It was time to move ahead.  
  
+++  
  
Nino had come to him that one night, Sho remembered now. He’d given him a cup of tea, and watched over him. Sho remembered being sleepy, as Nino took that cup away from him with a straight face.  
  
 _That ass-_  
  
He realised that the reason it was dark now was because he was blindfolded. Twisting and turning, he sought for a position that would allow him to somehow remove the blindfold, but it was futile.  
  
“If you promise to behave, I’ll let you go.” Sho knew that voice.  
  
“Nino, you bastard,” he growled. “What have you done?!” He heard a resigned sigh.  
  
“And that shows how much attention you pay to me when I talk.”  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Sho demanded.  
  
"Doing what I've suggested to you of course. Not that you seem to hear it." Sho vaguely recalled the part about Nino and Ohno talking to him, but he really wasn’t listening at that time.  
  
"Do what? Blind and restrain me?" He could hear Nino tutting at him mockingly.  
  
"Don't be angry now. I've done you a huge favor here."  
  
"Really? I couldn't tell." Sho felt Nino approaching him. Hands reached behind his head and untied the blindfold, removing the cloth that covered his eyes. For a moment, he winced as light entered his eyes. Blinking, he looked around, waiting for his eyes to adjust. They were in a room but Sho couldn’t figure out in which part of the Chateau it was. The floor and wall seemed to be made of wood. There seemed to be a lot of covered furniture, and the floor was dusty. Sho sneezed. He turned to look at Nino, who was squatting in front of him, grinning.  
  
Sho lunged at Nino, who dodged easily. He grimaced as he stopped himself from crashing onto the floor. He was still tied up.  
  
“Whoops! Now, that’s not very nice is it, Sho?” “What have you done? Where are we?”  
  
“I’d tell you, but first, shouldn’t you see something else?” Nino jerked his head to a bundle of clothes beside Sho. It wasn’t just a bundle of clothes. A man laid beside him. He knew this man, very well indeed.  
  
“J-Jun?” Sho automatically moved away from him, but Nino stopped him. “It’s safe. Can’t you see?”  
  
“I wasn’t moving away because of that-” Sho began indignantly but then stopped. He could see the ropes that tied Jun’s wrists and legs, similar to his own. But in addition to those, he had not only been blinded, but also gagged. His head throbbed angrily. He turned to Nino, furious.  
  
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?! How can you do this to him?!” Nino had been expecting this reaction. Meeting Sho’s eyes calmly, he said in a steady voice,  
  
“Do you think so little of me? Whatever I do, surely must have a reason don’t you think?”  
  
Sho began to retort, before closing his mouth back. This was Nino, one of the few friends he had left to trust. Nino who’d suffered so much, Nino who had brought him so much.  
  
“I...W-what kind of reason could there be to justify this?!”  
  
“Don’t you realise it yet, Sho?”  
  
“Realise... what?”  
  
“We’re out.”  
  
“...What?”  
  
“We’re out of the Chateau.”  
  
+++  
  
The boy stopped waving after the grand car had turned down the corner. Soon, other kids emerged from their hiding places all around, into the street. The one to reach him first, a girl with her hair tied in pigtails, a couple of years younger than him, cuffed him by the neck.  
  
“Ouch! What was that for?” He turned around to face the girl.  
  
“Idiot! What were you thinking?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“You know who she is right?” “Yes? She’s the woman in charge of the whole area here, isn’t she?”  
  
“So then?! Why on earth did you talk to her? She’d kill you if you had said anything that pissed her off even just a little.”  
  
Aiba shook his head, laughing. “Nah. Ain’t she our protector in a way? Or she’s going to be it soon anyway. She watches over her people, make sure they don’t go out of control and stuff.”  
  
“We are  _not_  her people.” Becky hissed at him. “Just because we live in one of her areas...”  
  
“She’s so powerful and cool!” Aiba interrupted.  
  
“Listen, Aiba!” She said impatiently. “We’re all just unneeded kids living on the streets. She hates useless people that she doesn’t need alright?! Try not to get her attention so much!”  
  
“She’s right,” an older boy said, leaning against the wall, watching him with the corner of his eyes. “Watch out Aiba.” Aiba frowned.  
  
“Oh, stop it. You people shouldn’t be so fearful of the person in charge of us you know. She’s the one we can look to if we need help one day.”  
  
+++  
  
Sho stared at Nino as if he was mad. And then the weight of his words sank in Sho’s head. Something in his head seemed to snap him wide awake.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“No! Are you crazy?! Are you barking mad??!”  
  
“No.” Nino was still speaking in that calm, steady manner of him. Sho, on the other hand, was panicking. Sho struggled as much as he could to sit up properly. Nino supported him, but Sho shook him off.  
  
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“She’s THE MADAME for God’s sake, Nino! Have you forgotten her clan?? She has over 55,000 followers all over Japan, you stupid ass! They’d find us before we know it!”  
  
“I know.”  
  
 _He’s not taking it seriously_ , Sho thought, terrified.  _He’s gone mad too_.  
  
“She’s going to kill us, Nino! You, me. You know what happens to those who try to run away from her Chateau. Once she realise we’re gone... She’d never stop until she finds us, or until we die. You even brought Jun too!”  
  
“Whats the difference?” Nino asked him, still looking at him in the eyes. “Sooner or later, she’d kill us anyway, don’t you realise it? Even your precious Jun.”  
  
Sho shut his mouth. He’d started trembling without realising it.  
  
“Think, Sho. She’s done every possible way to hurt you and Jun. What else could she do, what else hasn’t she done yet?” Nino whispered to him.  
  
Flashes of a blood-soaked body, indescribably ruined, once again haunted his mind.  _Kohara..._  
  
“She’s a blood-sucking monster, that Madame.” Nino remarked, before sitting cross-legged in front of Sho. Sho breathed in deeply before letting his breath out. Repeating the pattern several times, he slowed down his heart’s rhythm.  
  
“Have you calmed down?” Nino asked at last, after waiting quietly for a few minutes. Sho looked at him warily.  
  
“How did you manage it? Where are we? How far are we from the Chateau?”  
  
“I’d say 8 hours worth of a baker’s van ride?”  
  
“Baker’s- No- Oh dear god. Boss too?” Nino nodded and continued, not allowing Sho time to protest,  
  
“We’re in an abandoned house, which lies on the edge of Chef Tomo’s land. Did you know that old man’s rich?”  
  
“Chef Tomo too? He... he helped us? Why...?”  
  
Nino shrugged. “I think talk gets around the kitchens. About... that day. About Jun. About... you. He’d hinted to help us a few times, so we accepted. Why he did it, I have no idea.”  
  
“About me? Great, now I’m to be pitied?”  
  
“Shut up. It worked out didn’t it?”  
  
“You guys are insane. We can’t stay here. Chef Tomo would be in trouble. Boss would be in trouble too. Where is he anyway?”  
  
“He’s out, settling stuff.”  
  
“Nino... you know we can’t stay. We’d have to keep running.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“We can’t do it for our whole lives.” Sho told him quietly.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“Then-?!”  
  
“We came up with an idea. We’re going to the police.” For the second time since he became conscious, Sho stared at the younger man. And all but spat at him disgustedly,  
  
“The police?! That’s your brilliant idea?! They didn’t even do a proper job of finding a certain murderer! They let him escape! They caused him to suffer even more!” Sho side-glanced at Jun, who wasn’t moving.  
  
“Well-”  
  
“They are powerless, Nino. Madame is the heir to a very powerful yakuza clan. The police... they’re just a bunch of spineless wimps. The law couldn’t even stop her workings with the Chateau. All these years...” Sho said it all with a face filled with disgust.  
  
“They couldn’t find dirt on her, Sho. She’s  _that_  brilliant. She’s woven her way through the flaws and loopholes of the law.”  
  
“Haven’t they looked at the Den?! Doesn’t it count for some sort of illegal body-selling? Slavery-prostitution?!”  
  
“We’ve been registered as her employees. We’re paid, housed and fed. And it couldn’t be called prostitution because we’re not selling our bodies to the customers. We’re selling entertainment. You know that, don’t you, Sho?”  
  
He knew. Damn right he knew. He just didn’t want to admit it.  
  
“There’s no law with regards to what the Chateau is doing.” Sho would have slammed his fist against the wall if he could. But ropes were still binding him.  
  
“So now what? You think the police can help us?”  
  
“We can testify against her Sho. They’d have solid proof, dirt against her. They might be able to do something.”  
  
“Might.” Sho said bitterly.  
  
“We’ve got no other choice... Sho... We can only turn to them now.” After a long pause, Sho asked,  
  
“Would they listen to us?” Nino gave him a weary smile.  
  
“We’ve decided to go for someone higher up. Someone who’s trustworthy, responsible and possibly not corrupted.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“The Superintendent General.” Sho gaped at him. Nino had just named the 2nd highest-ranked man in the whole of Japan’s police system.  
  
“That’s...impossible.”  
  
“No, that’s what Ohno is doing for us right now. He’s attempting to get an appointment with him.”

“Not even Ohno...” Hands gripped the sides of his arms.

“Believe in him, Sho. I believe in him, he can do it.” Nino’s eyes had a determined polish to them that Sho had not seen before. “We need to believe in him. We don’t have a choice.” Nino withdrew his hands.  
  
“...Alright.” For a moment, they were both awkwardly silent.

  
And then, “Can you let me go now? I’m not gonna do anything now that I know the situation.”

  
Nino observed him for a moment, before moving behind him, withdrawing a knife from his pocket, and quietly began sawing at his ropes.  
  
“One thing I don’t get...” Sho was saying.  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“You and Ohno... how did the both of you get us out? We’re... you know. Heavy.”  
  
“Hmm? We had help.” Nino told him lightly, but Sho could spot a glint of... mischief?- in his eyes.  
  
“Help?”  
  
“Yup. We had to pass through the guards on duty at time, and the rest was somewhat easy, going through the route. Chef Tomo let us pass through, and then Captain was waiting for us with his van near his bakery. We had to wait until morning before we set off though, to make it look as if Captain was getting more stocks.” Sho wondered how heavy was the sleeping medicine that was given to him. Nino didn’t say anything else, clearly expecting Sho to prod further. Sho obliged him by asking.  
  
“So who helped you carry us?”  
  
Nino chuckled, and finished releasing Sho. “Thought you’d never ask.” He twisted his body to face the door. “Guys!”  
  
“They’re here?!”  
  
“You can come in now!” Sho could hear footsteps shuffling outside the door, approaching. A click, and then the door opened.  
  
“Finally! I couldn’t stand keeping quiet.” A familiar voice spoke as one person-no, two, emerged from behind the door.  
  
“Long time no see, Sho,” the second person greeted him, smiling sheepishly. Sho gawked at the two men who’d entered the room, speechless.  
  
“Yooooo? Sho?” The first person waved at his face.  
  
“...You guys are supposed to be dead.” Sho finally said.  
  
“Oh no, as you can see, we’re very much alive.” Kazama told him reassuringly.  
  
“For now.” Yoko added, baring his teeth in a grin.  
  
+++  
  
Sho had a good look at the house before he came back. Clearly, it was a house that had been abandoned for a few good years, but it was a normal enough house. They had kept Sho and Jun in the study room, but now, they left Jun alone in it. Sho had been anxious at his prolonged sleep, but they had reassured him, saying that he’d woken up for a while before he did, and then slept back.  
  
“We blinded him, because... he doesn’t see the world like we do. Ohno told me that.” Nino had said. “And since he couldn’t see anything, he reacted less violently. But he’d still make some form of noise, and we couldn’t have that.” Nino told Sho almost apologetically. “Therefore, the gag.”  
  
“I see... But wouldn’t he be more comfortable on a bed than the floor?”  
  
“Well... this house has a few furniture left, but I think the previous owner took the beds and sofas along. Can’t find any.” Nino told him.  
  
“Inconvenient.”  
  
“Oh well.” They had tried to put Jun in the most comfortable position they could think of, not that it helped much. Ohno had come back late that night looking worn out. Nino led him to a covered chair in the living room. Yoko went to make for him a cup of coffee. Now they all looked at Ohno expectantly.  
  
“How did it go?”  
  
“Um...” Sho watched Ohno’s face. He’d never seen that guy as irritated as he was now, and his heart half-sank. “Well...”  
  
“Is it no good then?” Sho blurted out, unable to stop himself. Ohno glanced at him, and then smiled a little.  
  
“No... that’s not it...”  
  
“Eh?”  
  
“It’s just that... well... they can only give us an appointment within a week’s time.”  
  
“A... a week?” Sho’s voice lowered into a whisper, his heart sinking. “But that’s... a lot of time for them to find us.”  
  
“I know...” Ohno massaged his own forehead. “But it can’t be helped.”  
  
“Didn’t you tell them it was urgent?”  
  
Ohno’s face looked even more irritated. “I did. But they told me he wasn’t in Japan at the moment, told me to come back within a week, and shooed me away.” Sho stared at him, horrified.  
  
“Didn’t you tell them it was urgent? Didn’t you ask for somebody to guard us at least?”  
  
“Of course I did. I explained the situation briefly but I’m not sure they could get anyone. They said they couldn’t spare anyone just at the moment, but they’d try to send someone down by the day after tomorrow. I doubt if they will though...”  
  
“We’ve got to lay low then,” Nino declared. He turned to Sho, and his eyes gentled. “Calm down Sho... it’s just one week at the most. After that, we’ll be safe... hopefully.”  
  
+++  
  
“How did you guys get away from those guards?” That was what Sho had asked Yoko and Kazama before the baker had returned. Yoko glanced at Kazama who glanced back at Yoko. Both of them looked uneasy, Sho observed.  
  
“We didn’t.” Yoko replied.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“We were thrown into this small dark cramped cellar underground. We had meals daily. Nothing so nice as to what you’d get up there, but still, decent food.”  
  
Sho frowned. That didn’t sound right. Why would Madame keep them still? And feed them? Normally she’d have them disposed off as soon as possible.  
  
“That’s odd-” he began to say but was interrupted by Yoko.  
  
“We wondered too. We thought we’d have been executed straightaway. But weeks passed by, and nothing. The guards wouldn’t talk to us, let alone answer questions.” “Hmmm....” “But of course the longer we stay there, the more nervous we became. We couldn’t let our guard down no matter what,” Kazama said.  
  
“It was quite scary.”  
  
“But you got out of the cell right?”  
  
“Yes. That was...” Yoko trailed off. “Someone came to let us out in the middle of the night. Told us the situation and brought us to hide at Ohno’s bakery via a route even we didn’t know about. We sure gave Ohno a shock when he found us in his basement storage.”  
  
“Someone let you out? Who?” Kazama looked at him thoughtfully. “I can’t say.”  
  
“What? Why not?”  
  
“All I know is that he’s tall. He covered the bottom half of his face with a piece of cloth. And he disappeared after telling us the situation and letting us out.”  
  
“You don’t recognise him?”  
  
“...I’m afraid not.” Sho wondered who it was and why would that person help them.  
  
+++  
  
They settled for the night. Yoko and Nino was on night watch, while Sho and Jun was in the study room. Kazama and Ohno was already fast asleep in the living room, ready to be awaken to take over the two when their shift ends. Sho couldn’t sleep. Every moving shadow that passed by the windows caused his heart to jump. Instead, he watched Jun’s figure under the ragged blanket, that they had dug out from the storeroom, in the dim orange light from a single candle in its stand.  
  
The electricity worked but they couldn’t take a chance in attracting unneeded attention. After all, it was supposed to be an abandoned house. He watched Jun gently breathing in his deep sleep, searched his face and found the dark eyebags hinting of sleepless nights. They had shaved him, the guards, but they didn’t keep his appearance well as his hair grew wildly all over. He was still beautiful in Sho’s eyes.  
  
He knew the others had given Jun even more sleep medicine, afraid of the uncontrollable person that he was now. They didn’t tell him, but he knew it.  
  
He reached out a hand, to trace the shadows cast by the candlelight on the younger man’s face but paused in midair. He couldn’t say he liked it, but he knew, even with him around, Jun would not be stable any longer.  
  
He wondered if he should have just taken Jun that last time they were together if this was how things would be. At least that bastard wouldn’t have been the one who broke him again, wouldn’t have been the one to own Jun...  
  
Sho froze, realising with disgust at the selfish jealousy that had subconsciously built itself up in him. He pulled his hand away from the other man’s face, not for the first time feeling a remorseful pain stabbing his chest. At that moment, came a question from someone standing at the door.  
  
“Have you gone all the way?” That wasn’t Nino or Yoko. It was Ohno. For a moment, Sho wondered what he was talking about, before realising he meant it in the way everyone else would have. For a moment, Sho was too shocked to answer. And then he blushed furiously.  
  
“Boss! How can you even ask that?”  
  
“Why not?” Came the reply. “I just want to know, that’s all.”  
  
Sho’s cheeks still red, he told the older man. “I- I can’t answer that...”  
  
“I think it’s beautiful.” Sho blinked at the older man, not sure what he was talking about.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Even if you hadn’t gone all the way, your bond with him is beautiful. It’s like a luminous painting, indescribable with words. There’s so much more to you both then just physical attraction, somehow, isn’t there?” Ohno gazed into the distance, and for a while, there was silence. And then he looked at Sho out of the corner of his eyes.  
  
“It must take great willpower to withhold yourself, isn’t that right?”  
  
Sho casted his eyes downwards.  
  
“No... That’s not it.” Sho said. “I... can’t forgive myself. I will never touch him again.”  
  
“Why? For not being able to help him?”  
  
“Yes... I... caused all this. It’s my fault he became like this. She wanted to hurt me, so she hurt him. She shattered his being. Everything... everything that happened so far, everything you’ve all done... is now just a great, big waste.”  
  
“So you regret meeting him again?” Sho couldn’t bring himself to answer. “Do you think he regretted meeting you?” Sho couldn’t answer it either. If Jun did regret, Sho didn’t want to know. He was afraid to know.  
  
“I... wanted to give you this.” Sho heard Ohno’s quiet steps approach him, heard the older man bend down beside him, heard the soft thump of something being placed on the ground near him. Ohno straightened himself up.  
  
“Actually, I wanted to give this to you the other night... Remember? That night that we found out Aiba...” His voice trailed off.  _So that was why he came_ , Sho thought.  _He wanted to give me something._ Sho glanced sideways at the bundle Ohno had placed beside him.  
  
“What... is... it?” Ohno didn’t answer him. Instead he just smiled at him, and stepped away, staying by the door entrance, leaving Sho staring at the parcel as if it was a bomb. Sho wondered if he should open it. It couldn’t be anything bad surely, if Ohno was the one who gave it to him?  
  
Yet, he couldn’t help but feel fear of what he might discover within it at the same time. Fear of the unknown. Fear of how it might be related to how Jun felt about meeting him. Ohno cleared his throat. Clearly, the baker was expecting him to look in it.  
  
With trembling fingers, he unwrapped it, and sooner than he thought it would take, uncovered a sketchbook. He wondered why it had to be a sketchbook. Sho opened the first page, and almost dropped it.  
  
The drawing wasn’t great, but it was distinguishable enough to tell what was drawn on it. There were what seemed to be ugly creatures on it, filling up every empty space available on that first page. They seemed human-like but nothing like humans, more like man melded into creatures that he’d never seen before. They seemed as if they were trying to reach out to Sho, to consume him. The nearest word he could gripe for to describe them was monsters.  
  
“It’s his own sketchbook that I gave him. I gave him other papers when I teach him, but anything on that sketchbook was drawn freely out of his own will.”  
  
“Is this...” Sho managed to croak, “Is this what he sees?”  
  
Ohno shrugged. “Most likely... How he sees people...”  
  
“Everyday...? Like that? His world...” Sho couldn’t believe it. He flipped the page. More nasty-looking monstrous creatures. This time, he noticed the nasty menacing grins on their faces, how they looked out of the paper towards him almost as if they were real.  
  
“You can’t be serious...” He felt a little sick. If he had seen everyone like this... He flipped the page over to the next one. It was still a page filled with those monsters but this time, there was a small opening in the center, amidst the terrifyingly hideous creatures.  
  
In that opening, he could see something different than the rest staring out back at him. Although it didn’t bear a close resemblance to him, Sho knew without a doubt that that was him. It wasn’t a creature or anything. Just a normal human. That was how Jun saw him then. A human being.  
  
Sho couldn’t trust himself to say anything as he felt a lump rising up in his throat. Instead, he forced himself to turn the page over. The monsters grew lesser, and the man that was him seemed to grow even more defined in the pictures that followed. And so it went on until Sho reached a page where some of the monsters had emerged as other humans. There was Nino, Ohno, Yoko, Kazama and even Aiba.  
  
Ohno had knelt beside him and quietly said, “He’d keep drawing you during practice. After that, I told him to draw me a short story of his life, inside the book. Kind of like a small project.”  
  
Ohno smiled to himself, “He was too shy to show it to you though...” The pages after that held only Sho. A frontal portrait of Sho, drawings of Sho doing various actions like sitting, standing, reaching out his hand as if he’d touch the viewer out of the paper... drawings of him smiling.  
  
When the pages ran out, there were loose papers instead, mostly they were drawings of Sho still. He remembered how Jun had tried to hide his drawings from him. Sho closed the sketchbook shut, and looked down facing the ground, not trusting himself to turn to the baker when he was already struggling to suppress the emerging emotions.  
  
“He has never regretted knowing you, that, I am sure.” The older man patted Sho’s arm lightly. “Have courage, Sho.”  
  
For a moment Sho fought hard within himself as he tried to talk. And finally,  
  
“Thank you... Thank you,” he managed to whisper.  
  
+++  
  
Sho offered to help bath Jun the next morning. He’d thought it would be hard even for Yoko and Kazama to do it now, so he had offered them a helping hand. He hadn’t expected them to hand over the whole responsibility to him, for him to do it by himself.  
  
“You’ll do much better than we could ever do.” Kazama had reassured him. He’d protested but they would hear none of it. “We’ll help him change into his clothes later.”  
  
Now he found himself standing in front of a drowsy man, whose brains had been addled with medication. He seemed a little lost, as if he wasn’t really present at the moment. Ohno had given him medicine meant to calm down mentally-challenged people who have violent tendencies.  
  
 _How is it that I’ve fallen for a mad person this badly?_  He had thought to himself.  
  
Sho’s fingers trembled slightly as he began unbuttoning the shirt of the man in front of him, from top to bottom slowly, a button a time. Each time a button was slipped out of the hole, it revealed more of the man’s pale body beneath it. Each time, Sho would lapse into different flashes of memories of when he was with Jun.  
  
Jun who smiled, Jun who was sometimes afraid, Jun who always tried his best for everyone. The younger man stared down at the hand between their bodies, listlessly. Sho wondered if he was even conscious of anything that’s happening. His face was dazed and his expression was unreadable. Watching him, Sho felt a pang in his heart.  
  
“I’m sorry...” Sho whispered as he removed the last button. Using both of his hands, he slipped the shirt off the younger man’s body, revealing the almost translucent skin that was hidden beneath it. Quickening his pace, he removed the man’s pants. His fingers had paused and trembled when he had placed his hands on the other’s waistband, but he quickly shook his head, clearing his thoughts. For a while, he hesitated and then stripped his own clothes down. They would both be wet anyway.  
  
He led Jun to face the wall, pulled him to the side and turned on the shower, testing the water to make sure that the temperature was acceptably warm.  
  
“Go on,” he said to the younger man, not quite looking at him. Jun stared at him, not moving even the slightest bit. “Step into that,” Sho told him, pointing at the water that was coming out of the shower head, still not quite looking at him. The other man didn’t move.  
  
Sho sighed, and took one of Jun’s hands in his own, slowly guiding him forward into the water, making sure that he didn’t look upwards. Once the young man was freed of the first layer of dirt or dust, Sho squeezed some soap out of the bottle that stood in one corner of the bathroom. Lathering it in his hands with some water, he then held them out towards Jun. His hands remained in that position for a short while before Sho gave up. He’d have to help him soap.  
  
Sho took both of Jun’s hands this time, and quietly lathered them with the soap on his own hands. For a moment, there was only the soft, soothing rhythm of the shower pattering against the bathroom floor. When he’d decided there was enough soap, Sho gently brought Jun’s hands against his neck, guiding his hands back and forth, soaping it. If he released them, they would just fall back to the sides of his body, so the older man did not let go.  
  
Once he was done with the neck, he moved the hands downwards to the man’s shoulders and then... chest. Without realising it, the older man’s breathing had slowed down as he concentrated on his hands over the young man’s, moving in elaborate circles on his fair chest. Bits of memories of their last time in bed came to his head without warning. Sho almost dropped the younger man’s hand as he bit his lower lip.  
  
They moved even more slowly down to Jun’s abdomen. Sho’s head began to spin a little as he tried to pull all his attention into just watching the hands and not thinking about anything. It was a futile effort. He remembered that day when all he could do was just uselessly watch Jun being held by another man. Jealousy mixed with other emotions.  
  
It became harder to breathe, the lower they went. Sho dropped the younger man’s hands this time, reaching his right hand out to make contact with his forehead, almost as if he had a headache. It was no good. He was about to get aroused just from cleaning this person.  
  
Wishing for the hundredth time that Yoko and Kazama hadn’t deserted him, he squatted on the floor, hugging around his stomach, trying to suppress the desire he had, straining with the effort taken to maintain control over his own body. And then, he began laughing. A bitter laugh. Even with Jun in this impossibly shattered form, Sho still wanted him badly.  
  
 _How could I be so cruel?_  
  
“Shit... Shit, Sho, damn you, bastard.” He cursed himself as he laughed. Tears dropped, and the laughter turned into a wail of despair. Sho bent forward, still clutching around his stomach, curling up on the ground, unable to stop the wailing.  
  
After a while, when the wails gradually faded with a shuddering sob, the tears barely dry, Sho finally looked up to see Jun looking at him with those unfamiliar hostile eyes of his. The medicine must have worn off some, because they were no longer dazed.  
  
Sho winced at the steely darkness of the look. He wondered if Jun might attempt to attack him again. He most certainly didn’t want to fight back. The older man waited, rooted to the spot. Jun was surely still fearful, his guards still up strong, watching Sho. The older man’s knees began to hurt as he sat unmoving, waiting for any signs of the younger man to strike. They both stared at each other, not daring to move. Time passed. Sho gave in first.  
  
“We...” He stopped as the other man bristled. Sho watched him even more warily, but when Jun didn’t make any other move, he continued, “We need to hurry and finish up and get out if you don’t want to catch a cold.”  
  
Sho wasn’t sure if the younger man understood him, but after a while, Jun looked down at himself, and as if he saw that he needed to wash off the soap, Jun stepped backwards into the shower, water running through his hair, allowing the foam to run down his body and legs, and off his body. It must have been a habit that had already been built in within him. Sho decided that it was enough for the day.  
  
“Alright, that’s good enough. Come on.” Jun turned towards Sho in reaction to his voice, as he held a towel out towards the younger man, careful not to let the still running shower get it wet, averting his eyes away from the his body. The younger man approached him as Sho held his breath, awaiting an impending attack. It didn’t come.  
  
Instead, the younger man walked up to the bathroom door, ignoring the towel, and stayed in front of it, as if unsure of what to do with the knob. The medicine was still in effect then, Sho thought as he heaved a sigh of relief. Sho tracked backed to the shower to turn it off before walking up to Jun, careful to keep a reasonable distance away.  
  
“You need your towel,” Sho told him slowly. Still holding out the towel, he looked around for the clothes he was wearing before. “Please, take it.” There they are.  
  
Sho looked back at Jun before realising that the man was not even looking at the towel, let alone take it. Sho took a very quick wash, dressed back up quickly and approached the man carefully with the towel. Jun didn’t seem to realise it until Sho was mere inches away from him.  
  
“Her-” The younger man turned quickly and flattened himself against the door, snarling at Sho. Sho sighed and braced himself as he stepped forward with the towel. “Stay still now,” he muttered, as he placed the towel against the man’s lower body, with the intent to wrap it around. Jun had begun to tremble a little, but he still wasn’t fighting back. He wondered how strong the medicine was, to be able to control him this much. Taking courage with that, Sho quickly guided the towel around him a few times before tucking the corner of its end in.  
  
“There, all done! Kind of.” Sho told Jun, expecting no reply. Instead, he pulled Jun away from the door carefully, and opened it. Yoko and Kazama were waiting outside. They stood so stiffly that Sho wondered whether they had been listening in.  
  
Watching them carefully with narrowed eyes, he told them, “Go. Please.” He gestured inside the bathroom where the other man still stood.  
  
“I can’t take anymore than this.”  
  
Yoko and Kazama exchanged a glance with one another. Sho looked on, irritated.  
  
“Well? He won’t fight back for now.”  
  
“...That’s not it.” Kazama told him.  
  
“Then?”  
  
“You... you didn’t do anything?” Kazama asked. So they  _were_  listening after all. Sho threw them a dirty look.  
  
“How inhuman do you think I am? Have you seen him at all?”  
  
“Well...”  
  
“I think not doing anything is pretty inhuman.” Yoko muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for the both of them to hear. Sho didn’t miss it.  
  
“What?! You- Anyway, what’s up with you guys?! I was sure you guys didn’t approve of us anyway.”  
  
“Well, if you weren’t looking like such a miserable son of a-” Yoko began replying. Sho’s mouth was already opened to give back a biting reply as he glared at the other man.  
  
“That’s enough,” Kazama interrupted quickly. “We should go get him dressed now.” Tugging at Yoko, who seemed to have half a mind to retort back at Sho, he pulled him into the bathroom.  
  
Sho clenched his fists, and nearly sank to the ground, relieved that it was over. He hoped he didn’t have to do it for the whole week.  
  
+++  
  
That dirty beggar boy was there again, waving at the car. The driver asked her whether they should do something about him, but she gave him a wave of dismissal. Let him worship the ground she stepped on then. At least it was a sign of respect towards her, and that, she will not reject.  
  
She took the chance to watch this boy. He was grinning like a simpleton. A fool. She felt irritated at the very sight of him. How could a mere beggar be happy? She could not understand the simplicity of such minds.  
  
People should strive to gain as much power as they could over their lives. Not live on a day-by-day basis and be happy with just that. One day, he will regret such stupidity. The car drove past him without incident.  
  
The boy sat down on the pavement, watching even after the car had disappeared from view.  
  
“Really, you stubborn goat.” Becky told him from behind, coming to sit down beside him. “I don’t see why you’re interested.”  
  
“Isn’t it interesting? A woman with so much power to make all men bend and break before her.”  
  
“Moron. Whatever, I’m gonna look for food. Coming?”  
  
Aiba stared down the road for a while longer before turning to her. “Okay.”  
  
+.+.+

 


	12. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go ;)

_Oleander.  
  
A flower graced with simple elegance and beauty.  
  
A plant that people grew and nurtured widely, all around the world.  
  
Yet, no amount of beauty and love could erase the fact that such an admired existence is filled with sheer poison._  
  
+++  
  
He dreamt of the musty basement of the old abandoned building that was once the home of him and the other children.  
  
He remembered how they strived to survive day by day. Some days they ate, some days they didn't. All of them had been abandoned by their own families, in some way or another, who could no longer afford to keep them.  
  
Aiba himself remembered how it went for him. His family had never been rich, but they were happy. Or that was what he had thought at least, until the day he turned around in a cool dark alley, in a strange cold town he didn't know well, to find that his parents were no longer walking behind him. They'd been celebrating his 6th birthday just that day.  
  
He couldn't understand it at first. But he'd fought to live, he'd thought they'd find him, that they just lost him. But after a few years on the street, seeing other abandoned children, he grew to understand that he was just like them. No longer wanted.  
  
"If no one wants us," He'd told Becky, a girl he'd befriended on the streets when he was 12, "then we should all be here for each other. Help one another, don't you think so? We should have a home for us all to return to."  
  
Becky just sighed. She'd only known him for a few months but already figured out what he was like.  
  
"You and your ideas," was all she said. But she helped. Bit by bit they did it. They found a place in which everyone could call a home. It was dirty, not very big, a little gusty, but they were pleased with it. And then their family grew from there. Aiba would keep picking up the new abandoned kids, especially the small ones and bring them home, just like how a normal child would bring a kitten home.  
  
Him, Becky, and the other older kids found all sorts of odd jobs just to feed them each day. Becky didn't approve of stealing, and made sure every one of them knew about it from the beginning. The younger ones who weren't old enough to work yet would either go out to beg for a little money, with their wily youth charms, or help take care of their home, occasionally scavenging for things to decorate it with, things to make the basement more liveable, like used rugs or broken furniture. They were all a part of the family, and they may be poor, but they were happy.  
  
 _And then it happened._  
  
Those days were crushed when their home was invaded by _Them_.  _They_ kidnap homeless youths, and sell human organs fresh in the black market. The organs that they extracted out of their hostages.  
  
Aiba had fought back, along with a few of the older ones, but it was no use. They took everyone and had left him unconscious, with a badly battered body, to die. They knew if they took down the leader, him, everyone else would lose their footing.  
  
 _They even took little Ryu, bastards... he's only two... and Becky... she'd fought hard too..._  
  
When he regained consciousness, he'd fought the pain in his now broken, crooked legs, using only his arms to drag his body out of their shattered haven, leaving a thin dark trail of blood in his path as he tried to follow them.  
  
Strangers stared as he slowly crawled past them, but no one helped, even when he begged them so hard to help the others. They didn't want anything to do with dangerous people.  
  
So he continued crawling by himself. He didn't know where to go to find the others, but he would not stop until he find them. If he stopped now, he knew he would have nothing left.

  
+++  
  
“Ugh, you know, I saw something I shouldn’t.” Nino was telling the baker who had his back turned to them as he stirred the ingredients in a pot on the kitchen stove.  
  
“Shut up.” Sho’s cheeks were the color of rose petals as he looked away from Nino sulkily, sitting cross-legged on the tiled beige-colored floor.  
  
“What happened?” asked the baker, voice filled with quiet humor.  
  
“Nino, I told you it wasn’t like that-” Sho’s voice said warningly. But of course Nino ignored it.  
  
“You see, I was walking...”  
  
+++  
  
It was the third day when he decided to tell the others. Sho had insisted they reduce the amount of medicine that they were giving to Jun. He didn’t mind that Jun would give him dark looks, or fight back. He just couldn’t stand seeing Jun in that dazed, drugged state where the medicine controlled whatever was left of himself.  
  
They didn’t seem to really want to do it, but in the end, Sho won over them under the promise that if Jun caused any trouble, Sho would have to take responsibility for it all. The first task for him after they had fed him the next dose, decreased into half the usual amount, was to guard over him as he slept.  
  
For the first hour and a half or so, the younger man was curled quietly in his own corner. Sho had nervously wondered what to do with him, whether he should talk to him or something, and lots of things ran through his mind, but before he finally decided on anything, Jun was already asleep.  
  
It was after that that everything went as he should have expected, but didn’t. Sho had been restless, so he had gotten up from his position opposite of Jun in the room and walked around, to stretch his legs. He’d looked out at the evening sky through the window, starring at the endless stars.  
  
When he turned around, a figure veiled in darkness was staring at him with unblinking eyes which gleamed in the dim light of the candle. Sho’s heart skipped a beat, as he allowed a yelp to escape his lips.  
  
Then he realised it was just Jun, somehow awake. Relief washed over him as he sighed and slid to the ground, discovering that his legs had mysteriously turned into jelly.  
  
“D-don’t scare me like that.” He stuttered as he covered his eyes behind his hand. There were only silence that greeted him. After around a minute or so, he removed his hand from his face, only to discover that the dark figure had disappeared from his corner. For a split second, he panicked.  
  
And then this time discovered that someone was breathing against the side of his face. Sho froze. The atmosphere had changed. He could feel it, the presence of a dark, dangerous, wild existence, crouching very closely next to him.  
  
 _It's the Jun that was in the shower, wasn’t it?_ He hadn’t done anything yet so the medicine was surely in effect. _Right?_ Sho was still trying to convince himself of that, when an icy pair of hands wrapped themselves around his neck.  
  
Sho gasped and choked. The hands tightened their grip as Sho struggled, his own hands grabbing at them. His eyes met Jun. The younger man’s eyes were wild and frantic, the breaths were heavy, someone so lost, as if searching for a way out of a labyrinth, but not finding it.  
  
He couldn't breathe, and his vision was fading. Summoning his remaining strength, he grabbed the sides of the man’s head, and bashed his forehead as hard as he could, against the other man’s own forehead.  
  
For a moment, his vision went white, but his neck had been released. As he gasped for air, hot, searing pain rushed in, all at one go. He groaned as he curled up and clutched his head. Beside him, Jun was down too, his forehead connected to the floor, and his arms to the side of his forehead. But unlike Sho, he had gone completely silent.  
  
Sho quickly sat up, raising his guards as he watched the younger man, who made no attempt to move. His body was trembling such that Sho could see it even in the weak light. He longed to touch this man, to comfort him, but he couldn’t do it. He watched as gradually, Jun feebly sat up, watched as he brought his hands to his forehead, as he tightened the clutch on his forehead.  
  
He watched the tears that spilled out of the darkened eyes of the other. Watched him as he confusedly stare at the drops that fell onto the floor in front of him. Watched as he did not let go of his forehead. Watched him feel the loss of something he couldn’t seem to recognise nor remember.  
  
Sho didn’t mean to push him down. Not really. He just instinctively wanted to hold him in his arms. But as soon as he touched the man’s hand that was still touching his forehead, he lost his senses. He’d push the hand away from the forehead, and placed his own, still burning one, against it. The younger man might have struggled, or he might not have, Sho wasn’t really sure. He did know that he held on to the other man’s arms with all his might as he pushed him down against the ground.  
  
And then Sho kissed him, with a gentleness that opposed the firm grip he had on the younger man.  
  
“And there he was, totally taking advantage of the poor man when I walked in.”  
  
“I was not! I was just- you know. I was not!”  
  
“Dude, you were totally straddling on top of him, and I saw where your hands were going.” Nino told him as he went to take out the plates.  
  
“No, they weren’t going anywhere!” Nino must have been mistaken, it was dark after all, Sho thought. I wouldn’t have been so stupid... would I? His memory was still a little hazy. The headbutt must have affected him more than he thought it had.  
  
“Ouch!” Nino went. Ohno had gone over to rap him on the head. “What was that for?”  
  
“You know better than that...” Ohno went back to his pot. “Don’t interrupt.”  
  
+++  
  
Ohno called them to gather that evening.  
  
"Look," He began in a quiet voice. "I think it's not safe after all to stay here. We should get moving."  
  
"Move?" Kazama asked. "Where to?"  
  
"The police headquarters. They may not be able to send help here, but if we stick through it, and stay inside their premises, I think we'd be safer than being out here."  
  
"How long does it take to get there?" Nino asked.  
  
"Urm... About 3 hours? By my van."  
  
Sho glanced at Jun, who was sitting quietly, a little distance apart from them. He'd just had his medicine. Sho knew it was important to get under cover. But he'd had a sudden thought.  
  
 _We'd be separated wouldn't we?_  
  
The police would take them in for questioning. And then they'd bring Jun somewhere else. Somewhere for the crazies. And they'd give him more medicine.  
  
And then Sho... what would he himself do after that? Just stay in hiding? How long can the police keep them from the Madame? Surely, she have connections inside the headquarters to be able to get away this long. And Jun won't be with him...  
  
"Ohno..." He said quietly. "Are you sure its a good idea?" They all turned to stare at him.  
  
"What the hell are you saying, man?" Yoko almost barked at him. "Ya think staying here is a good idea then?"  
  
"I... I'm not saying anything... Its just... I... I don't know." It was selfish, Sho knew it. But at the thought that they would take Jun away from him...  
  
"Staying here to be killed is not an option." Ohno told him firmly.  
  
"But... But the police," Sho continue in his soft quiet tone, not meeting any of them in the eye, "Can we really trust them?"  
  
"What the-" Yoko began, but Nino interrupted.  
  
"He's right you know. They could be corrupted."  
  
Ohno made a small sound which sounded remarkably like an impatient 'tsk'. The baker doesn't usually get impatient.  
  
"We need to try. Understand?"  
  
"Why didn't we do this earlier then?" Sho argued, just for the sake of it. Ohno closed his mouth for a while. And then he hesitantly turned towards Jun's direction, before turning back to Sho.  
  
"I didn't think of it," He admitted. "We thought it was a good offer that Chef Tomo let us use this house to hide. She wouldn't immediately think that someone working under her was hiding us. Besides she might have headed us off at the police station if she'd thought we would go there directly, which is possible."  
  
 _Can we even trust Chef Tomo?_  he wanted to ask, but stopped himself. The old man could be scary at times, but Sho himself found it hard to doubt him.  
  
Sho pursed his lips, thinking hard, trying to find other excuses.  
  
"And..." Ohno's voice was a little quiet now, interrupting his thoughts. "And I thought we'd give Jun some time to perhaps... remember? Even a bit..."  
  
Nino held on to his arm lightly. He didn't realise when, but he'd started trembling.  
  
"It'll be fine, Sho. We won't let anyone take him away."  
  
That was all he needed to hear.  
  
+++  
  
Her car had moved along one of the narrower roads on her usual route, when the driver hit the brakes hard, causing the car to screech to a halt. He threw a flurry of curses to someone outside, but with a light tap from her finger, he stopped.  
  
From her angle, she saw a figure sprawled against the ground on the road. For a moment, she thought it was a dead body, until she saw its slow movements, as if attempting to cross the road. Despite her driver's protest, she stepped out.  
  
She knew this boy. The simple fool who always waved at her car. His legs seemed to be broken, but looking at his battered face, she suspected he might have even more broken bones than could be seen.  
  
 _How could he still move in this condition?_  
  
"Are you a fool, boy?" She asked coldly. He looked at her, his dazed eyes slowly blinking, his mouth half-open. For a moment, it seemed as if he was wondering who she was, before recognition set in his eyes.  
  
He'd wept with relief, this foolish child, and poured out everything that happened to her, coughing once in a while. _As if I cared,_ she had thought.  
  
But then he asked her for her help. She'd turned around and taken a step back towards her car, before stopping to say.  
  
"I am no angel, nor am I a saint, nor a saviour." She had told him coldly. "I do not care enough to help weak humans like you, and there is nothing in it for me if I ever do help."  
  
He didn't waver. He had been expecting an answer like that, apparently. She wasn't sure how he was even able to think straight still but he did. He stopped her as he spoke out, his voice trembling but clear,  
  
"Indeed Madame. In exchange, I will pledge my everlasting loyalty to you and I will spend my entire life repaying this debt to you." He coughed again. "No matter what you do."  
  
She cannot deny that this boy and his mad idiocy tweaked at her interest, however, she scorned at his sentiments towards people and his powerlessness. _Ignoring the fact that this is an imbalanced exchange... His entire life, for helping the lives of others?_  
  
 _Why would one even offer such a stupid thing? And yet..._  
  
She had been taught and trained on the behaviour of people. How to read expressions and behaviour. How to know whether a person was lying or telling the truth. It was a training all heirs would need in this kind of line.

She knew that the boy's offer was genuine.  
  
 _Is he brave, or simply just foolish?_  
  
She could not understand why he would cry for others. Could not understand why he would offer to do anything for people who weren't even related to him by blood. Even if they were related by blood, she would never make the same offer. Her life was her own. She took care of no one but herself.  
  
Her thoughts generated quickly. In her line of business, it was clear that she would always have enemies. She'd already made some as the potential heir. In cases like these, it would surely benefit had she people who would be loyal to her readily.  
  
Perhaps, she could use a person like him.  
  
+++  
  
They decided to set out in the morning, when dawn hadn't broken yet. The lack of light to cover them in the shadows, and the scent of the upcoming new day to give them courage.   
  
Ohno took the wheel while Nino took the seat beside him. Yoko and Kazama helped Sho to bring Jun into the back of the van. They'd given him some medicine, just to keep him docile, hopefully enough for the journey. Being at the back of the van, they were hidden from view.  
  
Jun was leaning against Yoko's side, as Sho and Kazama sat opposite them as the van began to hum, and then  move.  
  
Sho prayed in his heart, hoping nothing would go wrong along the way. For a long, tense hour, everyone was quiet. Finally Yoko scowled, facing Kazama and Sho.  
  
"Say something. I'm damn bored."  
  
"Say what...?" Sho asked him, taken aback by the sudden demand.  
  
"I don't know. Just talk. Or you, Kazama."  
  
Kazama promptly turned to Sho.  
  
"What will you do when we get out of this?"  
  
"E-eh?" Pretty positive of Kazama to say 'when' instead of 'if', Sho thought.  
  
"You know... Work or something?" Kazama persisted.  
  
"Urm... I haven't thought of it much..." Sho tried to remember what he was doing before this, but it was all vague. The Chateau had corrupted his memories of any form of work before. But almost certainly, it was just normal office work. If he'd been richer, Haruna wouldn't have sold him off. She'd have asked him for help.  
  
Yoko scowled at him.  
  
"What?" Sho asked him curtly.  
  
"If you're going to be a homeless or something, I'd rather not have you take care of this guy. Who knows what will happen to him." He said, nodding as best as he could, towards Jun, whose head was on his shoulder.  
  
"What? You think I'm going to let him starve?" Sho asked, furiously. "You-"  
  
"Actually," Kazama interrupted coolly. "I think, maybe you should keep away from him."  
  
Sho stared at him. It was a statement he didn't expect Kazama to say. Not when they'd all helped them this far.  
  
"Kaza- Wait- Why...?"  
  
Kazama met his eyes squarely.  
  
"Just look at him, Sho."

Sho turned to Jun, who was still sleeping against Yoko.  
  
"He's like a doll. He doesn't have a sense of his own self identity. Even before this, the only thing that moved him was you."  
  
"S-so?"  
  
"Sho. He's human too. He needs to be... more than that. But he can't do that when you're always around. Give him space, to find himself."  
  
"I don't get-"  
  
"Stop being selfish." Kazama told him firmly.  
  
"I..."  
  
 _CRASH!_ They could hear glass shattering from the front part of the van. They heard Nino yelling briefly before the van swerved violently and then halted to a screech. Yoko and Jun were thrown into Sho and Kazama, who in turn slammed their backs against the van door.  
  
Groaning in pain, and Yoko throwing a flurry of curses, Sho looked warily towards the front of the van.  
  
"What's up?" He called out. No reply. Him, Yoko and Kazama exchanged worried glances with each other. Before they could make a further move, there were some slamming sounds from the front, and then the door to the back opened.  
  
It wasn't Nino or Ohno.  
  
+++  
  
 _We'd been doing so well,_ Sho thought as he was brought down to his knees in front of the Madame. And yet, they were now back to square one, in the Chateau, in her very own office. Or maybe perhaps, Madame's men had already found them out before, and was just waiting for the correct moment to ambush them.  
  
The Madame didn't look at him, and instead walked to look over the others one by one.  
  
"Where's the baker?" She asked one of the men standing by.  
  
"It appears that he had a concussion as the van stopped abruptly when his head hit the wheel, Madame." He replied in one breath, as if he had rehearsed the line.  
  
 _Suck-up,_ Sho thought sourly. But then his thoughts went to the baker, a little worried. _Is he alright?_  
  
"Is he dead?" The Madame asked.  
  
"No Madame, he was only unconscious. He's up now, and will be brought here shortly."  
  
Sho sighed with relief and then looked around. Nino, Yoko and Kazama were quietly kneeling, heads bowed. Jun was kneeling too, or made to kneel. Sho wasn't sure he knew how to do it by himself.  
  
Jun looked confused, the medicine still in effect. Sho cursed himself for even using it. A wilder Jun would have been better in a situation like this, surely. They'd have a tougher time making him obey. It might be a futile struggle, but it would be worth the try.  
  
And then Madame turned to him, smiling the smile he hated so much.  
  
"Sho... Dear Sho..." She bent over and cupped his chin, bringing his face to look at hers directly. "Stupid, silly idiot."  
  
Sho clenched his jaws as he looked straight back at her.  
  
"You should have known better than to run from me. Really."  
  
"I wouldn't know unless I tried," Sho answered defiantly. She removed her hand from him absently, still smiling as she turned towards Yoko and Kazama.  
  
"And these two... Surely I remembered ordering them to be disposed? Or must I dispose of them myself?" Her chilly voice was thick with displeasure as she said it. Even the guards behind them shivered.  
  
Again, she bent over, this time to Kazama, and asked in a quiet, chilly voice.  
  
"Who did it? Who saved you?"  
  
Kazama shook his head vigorously.  
  
"Tell me." Sho noticed that she was pulling on gloves. That couldn't be good.  
  
"K-kazama." He squeaked. "Just tell her."  
  
Kazama was about to shake his head further, when he looked at Sho. Sho desperately gave him a warning look. He gulped.  
  
"Someone masked saved us from the cell."  
  
"Masked...? Cell? You were not supposed to be in a cell. You were to be disposed of directly. What do you know of this masked person?" Madame straightened herself up.

"I don't know... He was tall... That's all."  
  
"Tall? And?"  
  
"That's all we know. Really!"  
  
"...I see. It seems that... We have a rat." She seemed to think over it for a while before she walked over to an intercom by the wall and pressed a few buttons before speaking into it.  
  
"Aiba, come up here."  
  
"Yes Madame."  
  
She turned off the intercom.  
  
Yoko and Kazama stared at each other, horrified.  
  
"Look, I don't think it was-" Yoko began to say.  
  
"Silence." She said, shutting him up immediately.  
  
A knock on the door came, to reveal Ohno with a guard behind him, Shirota Yuu, holding his restrains. _I actually liked that guy_ , Sho thought, dismayed.  
  
"Ah, the baker. Put him here." She said, pointing to the floor in between Sho and Nino. Shirota shoved Ohno down on his knees at the indicated spot.  
  
"Are you paid to do this too, Shirota?" Sho mumbled quietly. The other man didn't reply him, instead, facing towards Madame the whole time, attentively.  
  
"Baker," the Madame began. "I am not pleased with you. Not at all."  
  
Ohno didn't respond to her, and just stared straight in front of him the whole time, unblinking.  
  
"Why did you help them?"  
  
Ohno kept silent, still not looking at her.   
  
"Answer her!" Shirota kicked him, causing Sho to gasp a little.  
  
No reply.  
  
"It's fine." As if unfazed by this open act of defiance, the Madame just turned on her sickly sweet smile, turned around and walked towards Jun now, very slowly.  
  
Sho couldn't help it, he struggled a little. The guard behind him struck him on the back, almost causing Sho's face to hit the floor. The Madame saw this, her smile thinning.  
  
"Ah, silly as usual, eh Sho? It's because of this person that you are in this situation right now, don't ever forget. Such a pity... " She turned back to Jun. "Well now... Let's see here..."  
  
"Stop it!"  
  
The Madame, ignoring him, stooped down, and grabbed Jun by the chin, as how she did with Sho. For a while, all she did was look into Jun's face silently. And then she let go, all the smile gone from her face.  
  
And then Sho heard her say something which made him wonder if he misheard.  
  
"...Your mother's face. How it annoys me every time I look at you, that I would see her." That was definitely Madame saying it.  
  
 _Face? Mother...?_ Sho thought, wondering what Jun's mother had to do with anything.  
  
The Madame's face was cold now, and if winter was a person, that would probably be represented as Madame herself. She continued, in a voice filled with disgust,  
  
"You remind me so much of her, that sister of mine."  
  
+.+.+


	13. All things come to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Thank you for reading m(_ _)m

 

To Aiba, the Madame was someone truly powerful; someone great and untouchable. Someone he would obey all his life. Someone he would respect as long as he lives. That was what he promised after all.

_I wonder how Becky and the rest are doing now?_

He’d not gotten to see them ever since after the incident, having followed the Madame directly after seeing all of them from afar, straggling out of the hideout a little dirty, injured, but safe.

Becky had been shaking, and there was blood all over her and some of the other kids, but Aiba had a feeling that it wasn’t any of their blood.

Aiba had decided at that very moment that no matter what type of work comes his way, he would face it head-on.  What she orders, he will execute, no matter how particular or how distasteful her orders were.  But, he made too much mistakes, failed her too many times in her assignments. One would most certainly expect that she got rid of him after all this while.

But she didn’t. And so he followed her even more faithfully. Perhaps that was her intended design, but it didn’t matter to him. She had saved the lives of his family, and that was the most important thing.

He thought that perhaps she trusted him more than she let on.

_What a mistake._

Aiba stared listlessly out of his room’s window, staring at the gloomy grey sky, covered with clouds.

+++

“Report to me any suspicious movements in the Wing.” That was the assignment she gave to him shortly before moving him to the Nectar Wing from the Root Wing. He had complied.

“Keep a close eye on Sakurai Sho.” He had complied with that too. At that point of time, he had the impression that she wanted to find a fault with the man that was one of the top Den performers. He had a feeling that she didn’t like him very much, but it was only Aiba’s feeling after all.

There was really nothing much to report about the man. He was good-looking, sure. But all Aiba could ever report were things like; he ate, he slept, he performed in the Den, he served in the Ballroom.

To Aiba though, what he really thought of this man was that there seemed to be no life in him. Day by day, he repeats the same action, talks to no one, does nothing else. _He must have lost his purpose to live for so long._

Aiba felt pity for the man.

And so one day, after a Ballroom duty, he happened to be in the changing room with Sakurai Sho, and greeted him as casually as he thought would be allowed.

At first the man didn’t seem to hear him, but after the third “Yo!”, he looked up at Aiba, a little surprised. It was the first unguarded look Aiba had ever seen from him.

“You’re talking to me?” He had asked.

“Of course!”

And from there, day by day, Aiba progressed just a little bit each time, with him, and also along the way, somehow Nino came into the picture too.

He’d almost forgotten the Madame’s orders to keep an eye on Sho. He's almost forgotten that his main purpose was to be there to spy on him.

And so came the day he heard how Sho had been made to participate in an experiment of the Madame’s. He had an uneasy feeling about it, and went to visit Sho as soon as he could, worrying that the experiment might have destroyed the efforts he had put into the man.

But to his surprise, there was a new light in Sho’s eyes;  the light that Aiba had not yet kindled in them.

_Whatever the experiment was, it had done him good._

Aiba wondered a little what happened.

+++

“What if Sho doesn’t come back?” Aiba dared to ask the Madame, before flinching at his own impudence. The Madame didn’t seem to mind though. She had filled Aiba in on her orders for her latest plans, and she seemed to be in a good mood about it.

“What does it matter, lad? My plan still goes on. Sakurai Sho is just a side-dish.”

He wished he dared to ask her exactly what she had in mind. To get Sho to go up to her after bringing Jun in to Den X, what was going on here? Jun would surely fight back anyway. Why would it be different this time? It had been oddly peaceful for a while, and suddenly, she summoned Aiba up again.

_A plan after all this while? And why me? Why don’t you just get your guards to bring him up to you?_

Aiba found himself hesitating. As he stood in front of her, unsure of what else he dared to say, he saw the Madame watching him with sharp eyes. And a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. He gulped as he understood.

_She’s testing me as well._

Without protest, he had gone to visit Jun on the appointed day. He'd gone there to visit Jun on his own a few times... Sometimes just because he felt like it, sometimes when the burden was too much to bear that he just had to hide somewhere. Yoko and Kazama never mentioned to the others about his visits, and he was glad for that. Jun's presence had a soothing effect on him, even if the silent man did not know what troubled Aiba so.

Aiba noted as he quickly glanced around the room; the clothes on the floor, the figure huddled under the blanket, not so fully, so that Aiba could see his bare shoulders and a bit of his back. Wondering if it was not cold, although to him it was, he made a remark about it, testing if the air-con was working, and it was.

They talked for a little while, with Jun surprising Aiba with his speech progress, and with Aiba expressing his delight and Jun's near perfect pronounciation of Sho's name.

As they talked, Aiba sat on the bed next to Jun. The man in the bed twitched ever so slightly, perhaps unconsciously. Not changing his expression, Aiba continued the conversation, properly looking at the younger man's face.

There were tracks of dried tears staining his cheeks. Aiba frowned, and seeing Jun struggle to look at him properly, helped the younger man sit up. Aiba watched as Jun straightened up and took a quick glance at his door, as if he was reminded of something. The man then looked down, hands clenching his blanket tightly.

“Jun, what’s wrong?” Aiba ventured, watching the hands which clenched the cloth even tighter than before.

The younger man looked up towards Aiba, his eyes filled with frantic despair.

"Ss-Sho..." He'd said it this time with a sad note to it, pulling his blanket around him, his actions revealing enough for Aiba to briefly realise the situation, even though a little too late.

_So that's why... Oh, Sho. What have you done?_

He shouldn’t have come here before meeting his childhood friend. Did he tell Jun?

“Jun… Sho came, didn't he?”

"...!" Jun grabbed Aiba by the collar, and gave him a questioning look. Aiba knew what he was asking.

“No, I didn't see him… He's not back yet... And I don't know when he'll be back.” Aiba felt a twist inside his chest as the younger man continued looking into his eyes. “Come on Jun… Let go.”

“Shhh.”

“He’s not here.”

“Shhh!” _Damn, what an insistent person._

__“Listen!”__ Aiba grabbed Jun by the arms and shook him. “He chose this for himself alright? All you can do is believe in him. Why don’t you do that?”

Jun froze. Slowly, he released his collar, and went, “Tch!”, before looking away angrily, crossing his arms. Aiba noticed this before, but his behavior is actually somewhat different when Sho isn’t around. He didn’t really have a need to do so, but he clings on to Sho when the man is around, tugging and pulling for his attention. A hidden need to monopolize. He wondered if Jun was perhaps doing it without realizing.

_Is this what liking someone does to a person?_ Aiba shuddered slightly. _What a crazy situation to be in._

Aiba took a deep breath as he stared at the side profile of Jun’s face.

_Put yourself in his shoes,_ _Aiba. The person you love is meeting his first love. A woman, someone that is certainly more capable and mentally healthy than you would ever be. You are damaged, dirtied, unworthy…_ Aiba shook his head quickly. The further he tried to understand Jun, the grimmer he felt.

_Why is the Madame trying to hurt him more than he already is?_ He changed the topic, wishing he'd never noticed, and feeling guiltier than ever. He dug around for things to talk about, watching Jun settle back down and listen to him intently, as it got nearer to the appointed time. Jun seemed to have cheered up some as he watched Aiba interestedly and naively unaware, causing the guilty emotions to overflow.

_I want to tell him what will happen._

“Say... If I told you...”

The guards had burst in according to plan, taking down both Kazama and Yoko.  Aiba let them beat him up too, as the Madame ordered. He didn’t know the guards would drug Jun. To stop him from being able to fight back, definitely.

_But why? Why is it important for Jun to not be able to fight back?_

The guards slipped him a piece of paper and told him to pass it to Sakurai Sho. Aiba’s fingers trembled, holding that piece of paper in hand as he lay, covered in wounds and bruises, in wait for Sho to arrive, IF he does arrive. He had a dreadful feeling that the paper was an important key to this whole matter. Whether or not he gave it to Sho must hold a certain weight that affects what happens next. It might probably not mean well for Sho.

_Maybe I shouldn’t pass it to him_ , he pondered. Let it all be. _Let Jun be in the Den, with whoever it is. What does having extra sex matter? Everyone in here has surely done it a lot of times? Even Sho…_

As he lay on the ground, he heard footsteps approaching him. And then he saw the man who was to go into the Den where Jun was. As that man passed by, he glanced down for a while at Aiba, before sneering at him. Aiba’s heart raced. The aura around this man was… not normal.

_Just who…?_

Aiba stared at the slip of paper in between his fingers, and unfolded it.

+++

Truthfully, Aiba knew more than anyone else, the true extent of the Madame’s cruelty. He just didn’t want to admit it.

+++

Aiba had tried battering the door even way before Sho had, but failed miserably. And then Sho came along. To pass the paper or not to, it was up to Aiba now.

_I just wanted someone to help save Jun. It was the only way left. But it was wrong._

+++

Sho slowly raised his head to stare at the Madame. He must have heard her wrongly.

“Sister?” _But that would make Jun your nephew. Your family._ "You're lying." Sho whispered.

"Am I?" The Madame raised an eyebrow, a look that said she didn't really care what he thinks.

Things should have become clearer, yet instead, everything seemed to twirl around in Sho's head, like a mischievous tornado, unwilling to release him just yet.

_Is this too much for you to take?_ it seemed to ask him, a little scornful.

Sho searched Jun's face for telltale signs, signs that would reveal that he was related to Madame, but the other man just looked at the floor in that dazed, docile manner of his. How Sho hated looking at him, a reminder of his failure.

"Jun..." Sho began, feeling the temptation to just grab and shake the younger man to his senses.  Jun..."

"It's no use, Sho dear. He is far gone." The Madame was still facing Jun.

"How would you know that?" Sho retorted fiercely. _You who were never with him, watching him from afar like a form of entertainment._

"Oh my, how touchy." The Madame's voice hinted of amusement. "Surely I would know my business well enough."

"He's not... your business. He's your..." Sho hesitated. "He's your nephew."

The Madame turned to him now.

"Then, shouldn't he be my business all the more?" She was smiling again. Sho backed up a little, colliding into his guard. The guard remained unmoved.

"Why...?" Sho whispered. "After all this time that you put us in an experiment... after he was getting better..."

"Precisely because he was getting better of course." The Madame answered coolly. For some reason, Sho was not surprised with her answer.

"Then you shouldn't have continued after the first round." He retorted as his eyes went to Jun.

The Madame laughed.

"Where would the fun in that be? To push one beyond the utmost limit, now _that_ is something worthy of mentioning."

"You've got to be kidding me." Sho said through gritted teeth, sensed Nino trembling, and wondered if he was doing the same. And Nino did not help when he, to Sho's horror, spoke out,

"You shitty bitch. What is it? Do you get off from seeing people suffer-" Sho elbowed Nino as hard as he could, stopping him from what was probably not quite the wisest move. The Madame was just inches apart from him when a voice caused her to stop.

"...Did you do it?" Ohno's soft voice drifted towards them. The Madame turned, her attention taken away from Nino for the moment, who stared at her back defiantly.

"What?"

"Was it you who ordered the death of his entire family?"

"Ahh..." The Madame moved her hand away from her sleeve. Sho had not even notice beforehand that she had been positioning her gloved hand as if getting ready to pull out something from it. He wondered if she might possibly have a weapon hidden inside. The probability was highly likely. He shivered. _Nino owes Ohno some, if we ever get out of this alive._

She walked over to her desk and sat on the chair behind it, most likely tired of standing and walking around. _Or whatever she's going to say will take time._

"What makes you say that, baker?"

Ohno opened his mouth, but then came a knock on the door. All of them turned towards it.

+++

_It wasn’t just his pity for Sakurai Sho really._

He knew they would find out and then hate him one day. He knew he should have stayed away from them instead of getting too close to them.

But he couldn't help it.

He had wanted to be their friend too.

_Why was a person like Sakurai Sho here? Was Nino hiding something? Why must Ohno's warm presence be comforting? Why was it that he couldn't help but want to support Jun?_

He'd wanted an answer for all of it. And then he realised that what he really  wanted was the bond amongst them. He wanted to be a part of them, to belong amongst people again. To laugh when they laugh, to cry when they cry, and to share the pain when one of them is in pain.

He can't do that now.

All he'd done is _given_ them pain. Aiba clutched his chest as he remembered the look of disgust on Nino's face, the unhidden surprise on Ohno's, and the bent figure on the floor that was Sho. Sho who didn't even want to look at his face.

"You're blind, Aiba." Nino's words resounded in his mind.

_No, he was just stubborn. And foolish._

+++

The door opened, and a couple of guards entered, one on each side of Aiba, who looked a little confused. Until he saw them. The blood drained from his face, rather obviously.

"Ah. My good man, Aiba. Place him there." There were no longer any hints of pretentious sweetness on her face as she pointed to the empty spot on the floor in front of her desk.

Sho observed as the Madame watched them with a brisk manner that held a store of experience, heavy judgement, and above all, pure dislike, which Sho had hardly seen in her, his years there in the Chateau.

He kept forgetting the Chateau was only a pastime for her; her real business being out there, in the real world, where people in the underground world had seen the real terror that was her. This is just a prison for her playthings.

_Why did we ever even bother to run away?_

"Madame," Aiba began, once his knees touched the ground, both guards holding onto each of his arm, stretched backwards, "Please, I don't understand."

"Stop it with the pretense." The Madame's face had hardened, cold as ice. "I despise traitors, above all. You know it, Aiba."

"T-Traitor?" Aiba stammered. "But I... What did I do?"

"Them." The Madame pointed towards Yoko and Kazama. Aiba turned to look, and just a trickle of color came back to his face when he saw who she meant. Unfortunately, the lady noticed it.

"So you did it after all, did you? You saved them." There was absolutely no trace of warmth in her voice at all. Sho could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand. Aiba's face paled again. Sho frowned.

Aiba's face had displayed relief when he saw Yoko and Kazama. Almost as if... _he didn't know they were still alive. As if he was glad to see them._

"No, please, no, it wasn't me."

"Don't lie to me." Sho wondered if it was just his imagination that there seemed to be a very slight stir of emotion behind that cold wall of that surrounded her. "Aiba, you truly disappoint me."

Aiba winced, as if hurt by her words.

"I didn't do it Madame... Truly..."

"I thought I could trust you, at the very least, after all the blunders you make."

Aiba winced again. Her words seemed to be hitting him hard.

"I..."

"You couldn't kill people, you couldn't fight, you couldn't even run normal errands." Her face continued to remain emotionless, and her voice remained cold. But Sho can't help but feel that her temper was rapidly rising. "You couldn't have sex with other men to satisfy customers and you couldn't even spy properly. And now you dare to betray me?!"

This time Sho spotted it. Her hand was again, subtly though it be, positioned in a stance that reeked of danger., although she made no move to stand up from her seat. She has the instincts of a killer. No matter how many people has been trained to kill for her, she would still stain her hands at times, because she was made that way, Sho knew it.

Sho opened his mouth to yell a warning. He wasn't really mad at Aiba after all, he realised.

"Answer my question. Did you do it?" Ohno had interrupted her again.

The Madame threw an irritated glance at him. A glance that says, 'You're going down first.'

_And now Aiba owes him one too,_ Sho thought grimly.

Ohno looked back at her, unwavering. She pursed her lips as she looked at him.

"Very well." She said. "I did."

+++

A clan that does not forgive mistakes, weaklings and traitors above all things.

They were siblings that were raised with this rule set in concrete within themselves. Think only for the clan, live only for the clan, act only for the clan.

Her older sister had been the original heiress; everyone looked up to her. She was naturally talented in the traits of fighting and business.

But she had run off one night, just because of a pathetic man. She ruined all their hard work and effort just so she could satisfy herself.

For that selfishness, she must be punished. _She_ , as the next heiress-in-line would see to that.

+++

"Your own sister..." Sho whispered in horror.

"She did pretty well, hiding away for so many years. How laughable that she died pathetically."

There was a quiet murmur from the baker. She turned towards Ohno sharply.

"What did you say?"

Ohno was quiet for a while before he continued.

"You're wrong. She was a fighter to the very end. A true heiress indeed."

"What do you know about being heiress?" The Madame's face was rigid as her voice demanded the answer.

"She had the qualities of a notable woman. Just from looking at how they found her... She had fought to protect her son even though she should have not had that energy. I wonder if you would do the same." He said the last sentence very quietly, but with certainty.

Watching the Madame at the moment, with clearly surpressed fury on her face, Sho was even more afraid than before. She was not a woman that would show her emotions. He feared for the baker's safety. After a moment though, she straightened up, once again coolly composed.

"Baker, perhaps you should go first." She told him. Ohno paled a little as she raised her hand towards Shirota, who was standing guard behind him. Struggling desperately, before she could fully execute her order, Sho managed to free a shoe from his foot, and made one of the most foolish moves in life. He swung it at the Madame. The shoe slid and hit her squarely on her ankle. The Madame barely glanced at the shoe before turning to Sho.

"Ah, Sho." She had gone back to smiling. A smile that sent shivers up his spine. Turning, she stepped on and kicked his shoe away. "I believe, that you have run out of uses."

"I'm glad that I have." Sho countered defiantly, not quite feeling as brave as he, hopefully, sounded. He could hear Nino uttering a small 'Stupid!' at the side. And then there came a sudden rustle, and a little yell.

And to his horror, Jun had moved in front of him.

"Idiot!"

Despite the situation, he couldn't help but wonder, _Did he move out of instinct?_ Sho heard her walking nearer, his heart thumping fast.  
  
"Get off... Get off!" His voice came out as a squeak directed towards Jun. The latter didn't move an inch. His heart was beating fast. He didn't want Jun to do this. "Move away..."  
  
The guard in charge of Jun had advanced towards Jun meaningly, but the Madame commanded him,  
  
"No. Leave them be."  
  
The guard retreated back respectfully as the Madame's footsteps came to a stop in front of the two men on the floor. She seemed to be thinking, behind those stony eyes of hers.  
  
"...So." She said. "There's still a bit of you remaining is there?" Both her eyes were on Jun, clearly displeased. Sho felt his stomach sink in fear for the younger man. Why did he do this, when there's only this empty shell of his left?  
  
"Idiot!" Sho said again, coarsely.  
  
"Stubborn. Like your mother."  
  
The Madame simply towered over the both of them, her eyes telling Sho that she was deciding on the best way she could punish them. She stepped a little closer briefly, before she stopped and turned.  
  
"Stop it please...Madame..." Aiba's voice came from behind her, quietly pleading. Sho risked a glance in their direction. Aiba was on the floor, his right hand outstretched, clutching a fistful of the hem of her gown. She didn't turn to look at him. Instead, with a signal of her head, a guard came forward and kicked him away.  
  
"Oof!"  
  
She looked down at both Sho and Jun, with a smile on her face... and a knife had appeared in her hand. So, that was what was in her sleeve, Sho thought. _It looks familiar-_ As if he had seen it before, covered in dark red fluid... And then Sho went cold.  
  
 _Could it be the very same knife as-_  
  
"Very well, if that's the way you both want it."  
  
 _Shit._ Jun did not budge even a bit, stubbornly staring defiantly at the Madame, who looked back at him, unfazed.  
  
Sho decided that he should instead distract the Madame from Jun. "You bitch. You've got no guts, going for the weak, for someone who's already mad."  
  
"Move." She told Jun, who obviously didn't. Running out of patience, the Madame kicked the younger man, hard, in the face. He stopped moving.  
  
"Jun! Damn you!"  
  
"I'll start with you first." She told Sho. "Perhaps, you'd like to end the same way as your friend, a few years back?"  
  
 _Kohara._  
  
She raised her arm, the knife glinting in the light.For a fleeting, foolish moment, Sho wondered _, Will I see Kohara?_  
  
At that moment, chaos ensued. A flurry of movement, Aiba yelling, Madame's knife, blood, and another person whose movements were too fast for him to perceive properly.

  
+++  
  
When Sho opened his eyes, there were a few things he noticed.  
  
Aiba was in front of him. And Sho couldn't quite see it, but he was clutching his arm, groaning a little. There's a man standing in front of them, almost protectively, facing off with the Madame, who gripped her right hand with her left.  
  
And then Sho looked at the man. The man in front of them was Ohno. And he was pointing a gun right at Madame's temple, his face grim and serious.  
  
 _A gun in Ohno's hand. Held as firmly and as surely, as if he had used it before._  
  
"Oh...no?" Sho wasn't sure what was happening anymore.. Ohno didn't turn to look at him.  
  
"Drop the knife, lady." He said, his words clear and confident, his jaw set firmly. "  
  
One of the guards attempted to move towards Ohno but there was a brief clacking sound and Shirota was there too, aiming a gun at the man who just moved. Any other guards that attempted to move ended up being at gun's point by other guards.  
  
"I see." The Madame's voice was indifferent. "Some are yours while some are mine." She dropped the knife. "I see... Very good, baker." She said in a soft voice. "Or should I say, _inspector_?"  
  
Ohno did not deny it. Sho felt something in his brain crack, overloaded and overwhelmed.  
  
"May I ask how far have you infiltrated into my territory?"  
  
"We have enough evidence to leave you sitting in prison for a good 50 years."  
  
She laughed.  
  
"How many people are involved?"  
  
"A few of the guards, and some of the chefs." Including Chef Tomo, Sho realised. "And others."  
  
"Tomo huh? He'd been in this for a few years. I've recently felt movement, but I've never thought the police was capable of such a long-drawn movement." She sounded skeptical as she said the word 'police'. She turned her head and her eyes stopped on Sho.  
  
"And he has nothing to do with this at all?"  
  
Ohno shook his head.  
  
"Ah well. I see." She said, more to herself than to others. "What about my clan? They won't take this sitting down."  
  
"We've already taken care of that. I've already sent orders to round up the head of each sub-clan."  
  
"They will fight."  
  
"And they will lose. It might take time but... Your generation has lasted far too long Madame. And..." Ohno looked at Jun and Sho, his eyes softening a little. "We've waited far too long." He turned back to the Madame.  
  
"Will you fight back? I gather you are quite skilled."  
  
The Madame's eyes fleeted briefly over to Aiba briefly, who was still curled up on the ground. And then she sighed and smiled at Ohno, but nothing like her sweet, pretentious ones that Sho had seen. It was just a mere, normal smile.  
  
"I'm not foolish, baker. I've grown old and careless. And you would not have revealed yourself if you were not ready. Take me away, then."  
  
+++  
  
As a number of men came up to take the Madame and her lackeys away, Ohno gave the others a few orders before sending them away, with Yoko and Kazama agreeably guiding them. He then turned to Aiba first, tore a strip of his shirt and made a bandage out of it to stop the bleeding. Aiba was pale and panting.  
  
"Hang in there. We're calling for the ambulance." He was back to being the usual, gentle man that they knew. Sho wondered if Nino might have known what Ohno was, and turned curiously towards him. Nino was staring at Ohno, an incredulous look on his face.  
  
 _Guess not._  
  
"You're a spy too?" Nino asked him as he finished tending to Aiba. Ohno turned to smile at him.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"What the he-"  
  
"How long has this operation been going on?" Sho intercepted, tightening his grip on Jun.  
  
"A few years... Now is not a good time to talk. Is Jun alright?" Ohno walked over to Jun, and placed a hand on his cheek.  
  
"He's fine." Sho had already gone to check on him. Just a bruise. He'd been knocked out, but he's alright. "You were planning to take us to the headquarters." Sho probed.  
  
"Actually, I didn't want to. Because you would find out. But... I realised it was too dangerous." Ohno smiled sadly. "A little too late."  
  
"What's wrong with us finding out? We won't tell anyone else."  
  
"Not neccessarily... But it's not that I don't trust you. I'm just under very strict orders not to tell. I cannot break that. I went to ask permission a few times from him, but he just wasn't around."  
  
"The Superintendent General?"  
  
"Yes. Higashiyama. In the end, after thinking a lot, I thought I'd rather you guys know and still be safe, even if it meant breaking the rules. But I got careless, and we got ambushed."  
  
"You didn't really hit your head against the driving wheel did you?"  
  
"No... I didn't, even though the airbag didn't work. As soon as we crashed, I knew I needed to find a way out, so I pretended to have knocked my head and fainted. Nino didn't realise it, right?" Ohno turned to the younger man, who grimaced.  
  
"Yeah, they opened my side of the door immediately, and grabbed me, before knocking me out. How would I kn-?" A man walked in through the door and saluted Ohno.  
  
"Sir, we're ready."  
  
+++  
  
"So Shirota, you're part of the team? I was fooled for a moment there." Sho told him. Shirota grinned at him.  
  
"I told you didn't I? This job pays well. I have no need to be one of you."  
  
"Urm. Yeah." Sho gave him a good look for a moment. He's such a bloody tall guy. _Tall..._  
  
"Say... were you the one who rescued Yoko and Kazama?" The two said men were being questioned by a few people at the moment, and would most likely be taken to the station for more questioning immediately after.  
  
Shirota looked over at Sho, and winked.  
  
"Orders." He said briefly.  
  
Shirota walked with him out of the main entrance of the Chateau, where there was already quite a commotion outside. Sho watched as the people of the Chateau; the chefs, the men like him, and the guards all were gathered by the police that arrived. Sirens wailed as an ambulance arrived.  
  
Sho was impressed. Never had he seen such a huge-scale gathering of police authorities. They must have really worked hard on this. The way Ohno said it, Sho didn't realise the amount of effort and work gone into all this. Now that they were in front of his eyes, it was unbelievably overwhelming that Sho just couldn't register _exactly_ how much it took to launch an operation this complicated.  
  
 _And there's still more going around to the groups outside. The real groups who will definitely fight back._  
  
There were not many who fought back here, perhaps just the guards who were loyal to the Madame. Those who fought back were cuffed and sent into a police vehicle.  
  
The hair on his arms stood as he watched the police haul a struggling big burly man to a police vehicle. He resisted a very strong urge to approach and hurt that man.  
  
Besides, Ohno was there, looking over the police and the murderer with unreadable eyes. _No_ , Sho squinted his eyes. It was little, and not very visible, but there was a touch of malice in his eyes. Sho wondered if there might not be some in his _own_ eyes. Ohno turned to look towards his direction, and in that moment, Sho shared an understanding with the older man.  
  
 _Justice will finally be brought to him. Don't worry._  
  
Assured by this, and breaking their eye contact, he spotted Aiba a distance away being assisted by a paramedic and an officer towards the ambulance. He hastened his steps towards them, waving back at Shirota before turning back towards Aiba.  
  
"Aiba!" He panted as he reached him. Aiba looked at him before he looked away. The inspector and the paramedic stopped at them, staring.  
  
"Sorry. Can I have a moment?" Sho asked them, noting that Aiba's arm was in a sling. They nodded, although the paramedic seemed hesitant. "Not too long. He needs to be tended." They walked a little distance away, both the officer and paramedic keeping an eye on them.  
  
Sho looked back at Aiba, both a little quiet for a while.  
  
"...I'm sorry." Aiba broke the silence for him. "For... everything I did."  
  
Sho shook his head.  
  
"No. Thank you, Aiba."  
  
"For what?" Aiba smiled bitterly. "I wrecked everything up. I betrayed you guys."  
  
"...Do you regret it?"  
  
Aiba turned to look at him, and stared at him for a moment. Then he hanged his head downwards and nodded.  
  
"Then its fine, isn't it?" Sho smiled at him, even if he wasn't looking. "It's alright. And you did your best at the end..."  
  
"I- I know its not easy to forgive me, really. But..." Aiba was saying with his head still looking towards the ground.  
  
Sho's smiled faded a little. He was right, really. It wasn't easy to forget that betrayal immediately. But... he just didn't have the heart in him to hate Aiba. He couldn't.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"After... after I serve my sentence... Will you be willing to be my friend again?" Aiba raised his head to meet Sho's eyes, looking at him earnestly, and perhaps, a little terrified, of the rejection that might come.  
  
"...Don't be silly, Aiba."  
  
+++  
  
It was hours after they arrived that they finally got to meet with Ohno.  
  
"Tell us everything."  
  
Sho, Nino and Ohno were gathered around in one of the interview rooms at the headquarters. Ohno sighed tiredly. It must have been hard on him undergoing this large-scale operation, Sho understood, but he needed to know the whole truth. They all needed to know.  
  
"This operation has been going on for a few years already. The operation to take down the whole clan. But I wasn't an original part of the plan. I wasn't even in the police force yet."  
  
"You were a baker... for real?" Sho asked him, guessing.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Let me see... A few years back... Around that time... A dear cousin of mine went missing. I was pretty close to him. The police came around. In the end, they concluded that due to his debts, the loansharks must have gotten to him. I didn't know he had debts... But I didn't believe it was just normal loansharks. There was no body or anything...  I pestered the police, but they ignored me each time."  
  
Ohno paused for a while as if recalling back.  
  
"But then they approached me afterwards, asking me to join them, undercover. They needed someone with a clean slate, someone people would not have seen as part of the police force. They promised me I could find my cousin this way, although it might take time."  
  
"So you took up on the offer?"  
  
"I had nothing to lose. I wanted to find my cousin. For his family's sake too. But it was tough, working as a baker by day, and training at night. I thought I might have given up, but..." He shrugged. "I got accustomed, I guess?"  
  
"He rose up pretty quickly in the ranks." A new voice interrupted, causing them all to jump. A familiar face smiled at them, in a completely different outfit from what they're used to.  
  
"Chef Tomo."  
  
"Please. Ogura Tomoaki. Not a chef. I never really like people calling me Tomo either." He pointed at Ohno with a thumb. "This young man was impressive, you know? He had quite the talent, they say."  
  
"You've met him before this?" Sho asked the older man, who shook his head.  
  
"No, I'd already been placed in the Chateau. But I had my ways to keep in touch with the headquarters, of course. It was a pleasure to finally be able to meet the real thing."  
  
"I was looking for a way to meet him," Ohno said, looking at both Nino and Sho. "So it was a good thing that I came with you to see Jun through that route."  
  
Sho groaned at himself. How many times had the baker- no, the inspector entered the Chateau, sometimes even without his invitation? How can one get away with it so easily as he? There were cameras and spies all over.  
  
"I told you he has talent." Chef Tomo spoke, almost as if he had read Sho's thoughts.  
  
"So what did you actually find while infiltrating the Chateau?" Nino asked curiously. Ohno looked at him thoughtfully.  
  
"At first, not much. We know of the illegal activities that she had done with her people, but looking at who we are facing, the evidence we had were not quite there. We needed just a little more, just a slight push, and the Chateau seemed to be the way to go about it. But then it appears that she was careful not to bring her outside business here, where the security is not as strong. We needed just a little bit more reason to put her behind bars. A _very, very_ good reason. And then..."  
  
Ohno had trailed off, looking at Sho. All of them were silent.  
  
 _Jun._  
  
Jun's mere existence was proof enough of just a little of the Madame's crimes. Just enough of a push, surely.  
  
"You know she kills some people herself too?" Sho asked. _Why must it be Jun anyway?_ Ohno shook his head.  
  
"She's yakuza. She gets attacked all the time. She can say it's in self-defense. Before Jun, I had such a troublesome time trying to figure out what I could do. Plain stumped." Ohno rubbed his head.  
  
"Somehow knowing about Jun, it created an opening for me, just enough to start searching in the right direction. And the more I looked, the more I see... the many unkind things she does to the people here. People she had no right to harm." He frowned. "The more I see... the more things I find. If only I had more time... it wouldn't be so messy. But there was no time."  
  
"Because we ran."  
  
"It was my idea." Ohno admitted. "It's urgent to get you guys out from her clutches. I'm not very good at planning runaways though. I should have brought you all straight to the headquarters, instead of waiting for Higashiyama to come back to ask for permission. Chef Tomo kindly lent us his spare house while we waited. It was foolish of me though."  
  
"No." Sho told him firmly, his hand reaching out to grab the older man by the arm. "Thank you for doing this much for us." Ohno smiled crookedly at him. Sho looked at Chef Tomo, Ohno and Nino. "I don't think anyone had ever done so much for me before I met you guys."  
  
"It's what friends do."  
  
Sho smiled at him too.  
  
As Chef Tomo and Ohno was leaving them, Sho called him back.  
  
"How about the cousin you were looking for?"  
  
Ohno shrugged. "I never found him. Maybe he isn't here... Or maybe he's already gone... The only thing I want to know now is whether he's still alive or dead, so that his family could be at peace."  
  
"What's his name?" Sho asked, feeling as if he knew the answer already.  
  
"Kohara Yuki."  
  
+++  
  
"What will I do now?"  
  
Sho and Nino were having tea inside the canteen of the police headquarters. They still had questions to answer, answering the same things to different people. There were too many people at that point, the headquarters were after all unprepared for such a hasty action, so those who were not being questioned at the moment were allowed to take a break in the canteen.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I... I'm going to find what I want to do first. I need to find a job again of course, sort out a few things... get a home again..."  
  
"Then..."  
  
"I'll leave Jun under your care alright, Nino?" _At least this, he had thought out that much._  
  
Nino placed his cup down with a small thud, a frown on his face.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous Sho. You're just gonna leave him behind?"  
  
"I can't take him."  
  
"That's irresponsible. I have to sort myself out too you know."  
  
Sho sighed.  
  
"I'm not asking you to literally take care of him. The police will make sure he's taken care of... Give him time to heal himself. I've asked Ohno, they will see to his recovery, his accommadations and stuff. Just... look over him once in a while, will you? I think he'll need a friend." Sho clenched his fist, wishing he could take back the words he was saying at that moment. But instead, he pushed on.  
  
"You've been a really good friend to him. Who else would be better at his side than you?"  
  
"You're gonna totally abandon him?" Nino asked, in mock disbelief. Sho shot a glare at him.  
  
"We need to be apart for this to work out."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I've been a bad influence, Nino. He should stay away from me for a while." Sho shut his eyes, remembering how Jun had moved his body to shield Sho at the spur of the moment, even if his mind had been wrecked that he shouldn't have been capable of it.  
  
"I don't want to be the reason to lose him like that. Not then, not now. Not ever."  
  
Kazama was right. Jun needed to find himself, and Sho needed to stay the hell away from him.  
  
Nino kept quiet for a while. Sho wondered if perhaps Nino had thought about this. _He probably had, guy knows everything._ Sho thought about Ohno. _Well, almost everything._  
  
"I'm sure he will be fine without me around." _And... its not like he remembers me. He won't miss me._  
  
"I see." The younger man finally said. "And are you fine with that?"  
  
"...Yes.  
  
"Very well. But you owe me."  
  
+++  
  
 **Epilogue** \- **_4 years later_**  
  
A man wearing a stiff, clean, navy blue suit, with hair combed back neatly stepped into the small, near-empty apartment. There was not much to see yet, but he smiled proudly to himself as he walked through his new home, avoiding the boxes scattered all around.  
  
 _It isn't much, but it's better than a rented flat after all. A place to call my own._ There were still a few more stuff to move, and a lot more to unpack, but that still didn't stop him from wanting to check on his new home.  
  
His cell phone rang, a hyper, shrill melody that didn't match his serious business attire. Placing a hand in his pants' right pocket, he pulled it out and answered it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Heya, Sho."  
  
"Oh, you."  
  
"The hell? Don't you check the number before picking up a call?" Nino asked him from the other side of the line.  
  
"I was distracted."  
  
"Ah. With the moving yes?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How is it?" Nino asked him. Sho could hear Nino tapping what seems to be a pen or pencil on a desk. Was he still at work? Sho glanced at the clock, the long hand was on 5 while the short hand laid on 8.  
  
"It's great. Just a little tiring. But I can't wait to properly move in."  
  
"Want me to come help?"  
  
"...What's the catch?"  
  
"You don't have to be suspicious everytime I offer you help, you know."  
  
"I won't know. You're a pretty stingy person." Sho retorted, and then waited for Nino's comeback with a grin on his face. It didn't come. Instead, there was a silence in which in all the time he knew Nino, it meant that the man was thinking of something seriously.  
  
"What is it Nino?" Sho asked immediately.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You want to say something right?"  
  
"Oh. Hmm."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Don't you want to see _him_ already? It's been 4 years."  
  
Sho fell silent.  
  
"You've even gone to see Aiba when he got released. Don't you think its time, Sho?"  
  
"..."  
  
"You scared he won't remember you?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Does it even matter if he remembers you or not? You can always get reintroduced right? Jun is still Jun, after all."  
  
"I... Well, you've already told me that he's doing well. That's enough for me."  
  
"What a wuss." There was a sudden sharp silence. Nino had hung up on him.  
  
"Ugh." Sho groaned slightly to himself. Nino had been pestering him the past few years to go and meet Jun, but he just couldn't do it.  
  
His phone beeped; incoming mail. It was Nino.  
  
+++  
  
Sho tugged at his tie for perhaps the tenth time as Nino drove the car in the seat beside him, throwing irritated glances at him.  
  
"You're _fine._ Stop it already will you?"  
  
"Says you." Sho muttered as he tried to catch a glimpse of himself in the side mirror, hand still on his tie.  
  
"Why didn't you wear something other than a suit? You look so damn stiff. So unlike you. He won't recognise you like that."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
The car drove past tree after tree, breezing down a long, endless-seeming road. Sho clenched his fist tightly on his knee as he looked out the window.  
  
It was strange... Throughout these past few years of struggling in the outside world, he had truthfully, more than anything, wanted to forget about the Chateau and everything that went on inside it. And everyone inside it.  
  
In the uproar that shook Japan after the arrest of the Madame, the government had, after keeping their profiles as low as possible, helped them find jobs, following up on them a few times a year. After the third year, the restrains lessened, and Sho rather thought that they must have deemed that most of them were alright by then.  
  
 _Who knows whether we really are? Our future, our life is now decided by us, and only us. We will determine by ourselves whether we are doing well or not._  
  
After what seemed like ages, the car pulled up inside the driveway of a quaint-looking cottage. The house was fenced in white all around, and surrounded by flowerbeds, with bright-coloured flowers blooming. On the other side of the fence, Sho gulped a little as he saw them, there were kids running around, shouting, or cheerfully playing in a small sand pit.  
  
Sho had never asked what Jun was doing, nor did he ever thought he would find out. He knew he would miss him even more, knowing what he was doing. So he'd always stopped Nino from updating him about Jun.  
  
Yet, here he is, forced to come to see Jun by Nino. Nino shoved him as they walked down the path towards the house. A pretty woman greeted them at the gate.  
  
"I've been waiting for the both of you." Sho stared at her.  
  
"Cut me some slack, Becky. This guy was taking his own sweet time, trying to decide what to wear."  
  
"Ah. So you're Becky." Sho said, relieved at knowing who she was. "You're that one... Nino mentioned you a few times. Aiba too." That, he knew. Jun was staying with this woman. He'd never seen her as a form of threat that might come in between him and Jun, and even seeing how pretty she was now, he'd still not see her as one.  
  
The woman called Becky stepped back a little, looking at Sho from top to toe, as if evaluating him. Sho instantly stiffened up.  
  
"Huh." That was all she said, which pretty much summed up on what she thought of Sho's choice of outfit. But then, she shrugged and beamed at him, as if to say that clothes wasn't all that matter.  
  
"So you must be Sakurai Sho. We finally meet."  
  
"Yes, nice to meet you."  
  
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Stop being so formal."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"I told you he's quite a prickly ass didn't I?" Nino cut in with a bored voice. "It's all I can do just to make him come here."  
  
"Oh well. The gem of the Chateau turned into a cactus, is that it? Still, its good to meet you too." She turned to Sho and held out a hand. He shook it, wondering if she could feel how clammy his hands were.  
  
"As you should know, I'm the owner of this orphanage." All of them looked at the house behind her. "I'm also an old friend of Aiba." She smiled at Sho. "Your Jun is fine, he's been a great help to me here."

"W...where is he?" Sho stammered a little.  
  
"Jun? Wait, let me call him."  
  
Before he could stop her, or say he wasn't ready, she had raised her voice and called out, probably to inside the house.  
  
"Jun! Someone's here to see you!"  
  
"Eh? A visitor?" A voice... not so familiar to Sho, answered back clearly. Sho paled a little. He hadn't really planned what to do after all this. Becky interrupted his thoughts,  
  
"Mind you though," she said sternly, "I'm not going to fully hand him over to you. He'll still be helping me here, got that? He's a great help with the kids and the cooking, and I'm not losing that to a cactus."  
  
Sho just gulped and nodded, his eyes fixed on the house.  
  
"Well then, I'll love you and leave you here," Becky told him and walked back to the running kids. "Alright, let's get back to lessons!" They could hear her calling out, and the children's protests.  
  
"I shall go and see what I can do for her," Nino said casually, stepping forward. "Or something."  
  
"What? Wait! No!" Sho grabbed his hand in panic.  
  
Nino chopped on his head with his free hand. "I've done my part. Go do yours. Don't chicken out."

As Nino entered the gate, about to pass by the front door, _he_ stepped out, wiping his hands on the deep maroon apron he was donning. Sho drew his breath in sharply.  
  
In the sun, he glowed radiantly, part of his fringe tied to the back of his head, part of his fringe parted to fall on one side of his face, as the rest of his hair touched his shoulders, resting his hands on his hips as he caught sight of the shorter man. He looked even better than in the photo Nino had emailed to him.  
  
"Oh. Nino? What's up?" Jun asked casually, with a voice that seemed so unfamiliar to Sho. Sho felt light-headed as he watched this man who seemed like a stranger to him. He took a step back and stopped.  
  
"You mean, you're the visitor? Becky could have just said its you." His words came out fluently, and one could almost not tell that he had been a mute for many long years. But behind that fluency, Sho felt it slightly, Jun was picking out the words he said in a careful manner, as if he could not afford the effort it takes to say the extra words.  
  
 _Don't chicken out_ , Nino had said. _Fine... Fine. I won't!_  
  
Nino shook his head and thumbed towards Sho's direction. Jun turned and squinted.  
  
"Who is it?" Sho's heart thumped as Jun walked down towards the fence. He was amazed it didn't jump straight out of his chest, when Jun stopped in front of him, on the other side of the gate, their eyes meeting equally.  
  
For a moment, they gaped at each other. Before Sho could wonder whether he really did forget him, Jun's eyes had widened a little, as if stunned. A little hopeful at this reaction, Sho managed to squeak out,  
  
"Jun."  
  
"..."  
  
"It's been a long time, Jun."  
  
Jun came closer and brought his right hand to grip the top of the gate, his knuckles whitening, his eyes searching Sho's face.  
  
"You..." He began to say.  
  
"Y-yes?" Sho flinched a little, not sure he wanted to hear what comes next.  
  
"You idiot."  
  
"Eh?!" Amazed, Sho looked back at Jun. His eyes had softened, and there was a little smile forming on his lips. _A beautiful smile he'd thought was lost._ Sho could hardly breathe with increasing hope.  
  
"I've waited so long."  
  
"Yes. Sorry." Sho's hand trembled as he placed it on Jun's hand on the gate. And then the younger man spoke in a quieter, softer voice, a voice that brought a lot of memories back to him.  
  
"Sho..."  
  
+++  
  
Nino had been watching them from inside the house, half-hidden behinds the curtains, his right hand clutching the cream-coloured cloth as he watched through the window. As Sho placed his hands on Jun's, he heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
"It's finally settled huh?" A voice whispered by his ear, a little too loudly. Nino jumped a little, and swerved around.  
  
"Shit, Aiba, stop sneaking around like that!"  
  
Aiba ignored him, and tried to push him aside. "Let me see, let me see!"  
  
"Stop that! They'll notice, you ass!"  
  
Another voice interrupted.  
  
"Just settle down and sit, you guys." A tan-skinned man in uniform was sitting in front of the living room television, calmly sipping on a cup of coffee, as he watched it.  
  
"Oh. You're here already." Nino elbowed Aiba, earning a gasp from the taller man, as he manoeuvred around him to join Ohno. "Aren't you supposed to be working until later?"  
  
"I came to see of course. The end of this story."  
  
Aiba sat down in front of the man.  
  
"And how do you find it?"  
  
Ohno just chuckled simply and smiled.  
  
"It'll take a little time I suppose, but I'm certain they will be happy. As we all surely are now." He toasted his cup of coffee towards the both of them. "To happiness?"  
  
"To happiness." Both Nino and Aiba agreed. Nino rather spoiled the atmosphere when he added,  
  
"But I still don't fully trust the both of you though. Spies, really!"

 

=+=+=  
  
  
 **END.**  
  
  
=+=+=  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at shirukaze.livejournal.com.
> 
> To my readers at AO3, this is the end of POC. Thank you very much for reading this, even though I took my time to upload this on A03. Have a Happy New Year!


End file.
